| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| plum |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 03:28:24
2. Try to just act as normal but at ease (not fear) as much as possible with the least concern to your symptoms that you can. |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 02/21/2013 : 08:07:45
A lot of times, in my humble opinion, this fear is due to mind-chatter which is telling us that there is danger, which in turn keeps us in a state of high agitation and the increase in the intensity of symptoms. Here is where the affirmations help a lot. The affirmations will not immediately take away the symptoms, but they will at least help to calm you down and be mentally, as well as emotionally, in the moment. Pay close attention to that mind-chatter when your symptoms are really intense and notice what your mind is telling you. You will know if you pay close enough attention. Once you recognize these thoughts then, as suggested by Ace, use positive affirmations and positive self-talk as a counter to this negative and fright inducing mind-chatter.
Remember, working yourself up is not going to make you feel any better and, in fact, has the complete opposite effect. The Ekhart Tolle audio clips I posted yesterday will help you to develop mindfulness exercises if or when you are in one of those intense moments. This does not necessarily contradict what Dr. Sarno has taught us, but rather compliments his reminder that we have nothing really to fear. As Tolle and other mindfulness / spiritual teachers remind us, most of our suffering actually comes from our interpretations around what we are experiencing and these interpretations can be countered via positive counter-affirmations.
See: Eckhart Tolle audio here:
http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=8097
Remember also, this will not take away your symptoms right now, but will assist you to stay in the moment and, in the process, reduce your suffering which is what we all desire.
I hope this helps, as I too am merely a student of this process and not any kind of master.
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| plum |
Posted - 02/21/2013 : 01:48:36
Ease not fear.
I've made some progress here thanks to Claire Weekes and Balto, including a short period of almost no pain at all. This glimpse gives me much hope. |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 01/24/2013 : 11:49:49
Thanks, Shawn, you really are the bookman. it's nice to know I can have it online whenever I need. I have the hard copy here and have read the entire thing at least twice, but the issue is getting this wisdom to sink in. |
| plum |
Posted - 01/24/2013 : 07:19:23
Cath,
You're a gem. This is fabulous and very supportive advice. Clenching is my problem. When I clench at night it sets off spasms throughout the day, a small muscular tic of sorts. It makes my teeth hurt and it's this that freaks me out. My dentist has assured me that once I stop clenching, this discomfort will pass and I've had two periods of late where I haven't clenched and the pain faded significantly. I intend to follow in your practice of sleeping on my back which is a wonderfully relaxing pose anyway, and the one I use when I listen to relaxation or guided meditation recordings.
Again, many thanks sweetheart. |
| Cath |
Posted - 01/24/2013 : 05:18:23
Hi Plum
I think the morning is the easiest because the muscles are completed rested. Also, when I sleep the nerves affected seem to switch off. I always sleep on my back, which has helped me to stop clenching my jaw during the night. In this position, the jaw feels completely relaxed. But, now I've stopped clenching, I really should start to sleep on my side again, or in whichever position feels comfortable. I am getting there slowly.
I don't fear eating anything I want anymore. I can eat steak, and chew nuts without having any after affects. I KNOW there's nothing wrong with my jaw, just wish my brain would let the nerves know. I've stopped the constant need to stretch by distraction. Keeping my mind occupied, and mentally checking myself every time my thoughts stray to any sort of negativity. My advice is just go ahead - eat and brush as much as you like. I found out that it made no difference to the pain.
I brush my teeth four times a day. I know this is obsessive, but I don't feel comfortable unless my mouth is clean after I have eaten.
Plum, we have to conquer the fears one by one until there are none left. But you have to do it in your own time, when you're ready, and as Ace says, don't strain into it.
I still have fears to conquer, but feel more positive than I've felt in a long time that eventually my life will be pain-free. Just know it in your heart.
Be happy!
Cath |
| eric watson |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 17:12:17
chickenbone you keep learning -your on your way
this is an awesome concept i agree guys-but could it be the best?
well yes -heres a good thing though-
they get better and better-
plum thanks for the kind words-
your really bringing a lot of fresh ideas to the site.
Thanks. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 17:05:57
Chickenbone: You can also listen to the entire book on youtube at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JCgAKCtIzE |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 16:58:00
Thanks, Plum. I am sleeping a little better. I use the Tarot cards now about an hour before I go to bed and avoid the TV.
And thanks, Shawn, Eckhart Tolle is so powerful. I actually tried today taking away the pain's past and future and just let it be in the NOW. I think that really helped because I have not had the intensity of pain that I have had in the past today. Now if I could just do this all the time.
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| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 13:37:57
Here is another passage from Ekhart Tolle which may be of help:
If someone is seriously ill and completely accepts their condition and surrenders to the illness, would they not have given up their will to get back to health? The determination to fight the illness would not be there any more, would it?
Surrender is inner acceptance of what is without any reservations. We are talking about your life - this instant - not the conditions or circumstances of your life, notwhat I call your life situation. We have spoken about this already.
With regard to illness, this is what it means. Illness is part of your life situation. As such, it has a past and a future. Past and future form an uninterrupted continuum, unless the redeeming power of the Now is activated through your conscious presence. As you know, underneath the various conditions that make up your life situation, which exists in time, there is something deeper, more essential: your Life, your very Being in the timeless Now.
As there are no problems in the Now, there is no illness either. The belief in a label that someone attaches to your condition keeps the condition in place, empowers it, and makes a seemingly solid reality out of a temporary imbalance. It gives it not only reality and solidity but also a continuity in time that it did not have before. By focusing on this instant and refraining from labeling it mentally, illness is reduced to one or several of these factors: physical pain, weakness, discomfort, or disability. That is what you surrender to - now. You do not surrender to the idea of "illness." Allow the suffering to force you into the present moment, into a state of intense conscious presence. Use it for enlightenment.
Surrender does not transform what is, at least not directly. Surrender transforms you. When you are transformed, your whole world is transformed, because the world is only a reflection. We spoke about this earlier.
If you looked in the mirror and did not like what you saw, you would have to be mad to attack the image in the mirror. That is precisely what you do when you are in a state of nonacceptance. And, of course, if you attack the image, it attacks you back. If you accept the image, no matter what it is, if you become friendly toward it, it cannot not become friendly toward you. This is how you change the world.
Illness is not the problem. You are the problem - as long as the egoic mind is in control. When you are ill or disabled, do not feel that you have failed in some way, do not feel guilty. Do not blame life for treating you unfairly, but do not blame yourself either. All that is resistance. If you have a major illness, use it for enlightenment.
Anything "bad" that happens in your life - use it for enlightenment. Withdraw time from the illness. Do not give it any past or future. Let it force you into intense present-moment awareness - and see what happens.
Become an alchemist. Transmute base metal into gold, suffering into consciousness, disaster into enlightenment.
Are you seriously ill and feeling angry now about what I have just said? Then that is a clear sign that the illness has become part of your sense of self and that you are now protecting your identity - as well as protecting the illness. The condition that is labeled "illness" has nothing to do with who you truly are.
When Disaster Strikes
As far as the still unconscious majority of the population is concerned, only a critical limit-situation has the potential to crack the hard shell of the ego and force them into surrender and so into the awakened state. A limit-situation arises when through some disaster, drastic upheaval, deep loss, or suffering your whole world is shattered and doesn't make sense anymore. It is an encounter with death, be it physical or psychological. The egoic mind, the creator of this world, collapses. Out of the ashes of the old world, a new world can then come into being.
There is no guarantee, of course, that even a limit-situation will do it, but the potential is always there. Some people's resistance to what is even intensifies in such a situation, and so it becomes a descent into hell. In others, there may only be partial surrender, but even that will give them a certain depth and serenity that were not there before. Parts of the ego shell break off, and this allows small amounts of the radiance and peace that lie beyond the mind to shine through.
Limit-situations have produced many miracles. There have been murderers in death row waiting for execution who, in the last few hours of their lives, experienced the egoless state and the deep joy and peace that come with it. The inner resistance to the situation they found themselves in became so intense as to produce unbearable suffering, and there was nowhere to run and nothing to do to escape it, not even a mind projected future. So they were forced into complete acceptance of the unacceptable.
They were forced into surrender. In this way, they were able to enter the state of grace with which comes redemption: complete release from the past. Of course, it is not really the limit-situation that makes room for the miracle of grace and redemption but the act of surrender.
So whenever any kind of disaster strikes, or something goes seriously "wrong" - illness, disability, loss of home or fortune or of a socially defined identity, break-up of a close relationship, death or suffering of a loved one, or your own impending death - know that there is another side to it, that you are just one step away from something incredible: a complete alchemical transmutation of the base metal of pain and suffering into gold. That one step is called surrender.
I do not mean to say that you will become happy in such a situation. You will not. But fear and pain will become transmuted into an inner peace and serenity that come from a very deep place - from the Unmanifested itself. It is "the peace of God, which passes all understanding." Compared to that, happiness is quite a shallow thing. With this radiant peace comes the realization - not on the level of mind but within the depth of your Being - that you are indestructible, immortal. This is not a belief: It is absolute certainty that needs no external evidence or proof from some secondary source.
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| plum |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 13:37:06
Bryan, my pleasure and thankyou.
It's such a powerful key and I totally agree, it maybe the most important of all. I think eric's point regarding the subconscious is vital in this regard, and he posted something earlier that really made me think. |
| plum |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 13:29:59
chickenbone, I'm not entirely sure how to quantify it but I also have an awareness of sorts before the pain gets bad, and that need...no desire to stretch, which if I follow, always ramps pain.
How are sleeping?
Did you use your tarot? I adore them. |
| bryan3000 |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 13:15:28
It's only Ace day 2, but for me... this may be the most important of all keys to healing.
I think it's the most important for many of us.
Great to see this being discussed. Thanks again, Plum and of course Ace! |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 12:56:40
I have to say that I am doing much better on Ace's 2nd item in his keys to healing. I really try to just act completely normal when I become aware of pain. I have learned not to challenge it, that can get you into an argument with yourself that can lead to suicidal thoughts. I find it harder to not try to analyze it, but doing better with this than before.
I have had very little pain since January 1st. This morning I woke up with what felt like muscle pain in the area of my hips. It came and went during my morning walk/hike and during my afternoon water aerobics. I am starting to notice something. Often, a day before I have pain, I have the sensation of the muscles in my lower back, buttocks and hips tightening. It just feels like I need to stretch them. It really feels like oxygen is leaving them. Often when this happens, I have no pain at night, but if I sleep well, will experience muscle pain in the morning. All day, I have been using calming affirmations like "the pain is benign" "all is as it should be", etc.
I don't know what sets off this muscle tightening and why the pain is delayed or even if they are related. |
| plum |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 09:29:51
Cath,
Musing on triggers and tmj, when you say you are most at ease in the morning is this because you've not eaten or brushed your teeth? These are my two biggies. |
| plum |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 08:49:57
Ace1, you've clarified something for me. While the pain is physiological (as opposed to pathological), it is still *real* and gentleness makes so much sense over a cavalier approach. For me at least, others may fare better with gung-ho. I'll also pay heed to your thoughts on affirmations. Not read Kehoe, not yet anyway but as an inveterate reader it's only a matter of time (quit smirking.)
Shawn, one of those affirmations has proven itself quite the earworm so I have adopted it with ease. Thanks for that and for the link. I've not read Tolle in years but remember the well the stillness of his words.
Eric, I love these words on the subconscious. They resonate well for me, especially with your earlier post. I feel much cheered. |
| eric watson |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 08:36:37
see the pain or anxiety has been a huge issue
the entire time you have had to deal with it-
you have feared it-you have had constant thought
on the pain for so long that your main focus is
to go right where the pain is as soon as you wake-
and on top of that if you do this long enough
then it becomes sub-conscious and then its just there.
but if we start by doing aces number 2 key to healing.
eventually we will break the sub-conscious cycle and
then learn to break the conscious cycle of this
negative awareness of the pain, anxiety or any issue really. |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 08:24:17
One more point try not to have too many affirmations at one time. John Kehoe also says this in his book. If its focused to lets say 3 or less, you repeat them more often and they take hold faster and stronger |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 07:59:56
Please, if you can, read pages 119 to 123 of The Power of Now at: http://www.mindwell.be/ebooks/thepowerofnow.pdf
Read the section "Using And Relinquishing Negativity." |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 07:51:34
Just to piggyback on this post, this does not mean challenging. So for example, you go about your business, but you get pain going to work. You just act normal and do NOTHING about the pain. On the way to work a pen drops on the floor, you know that your back is oxygen deprivied and you know that bending will hurt your back more. You know there is nothing wrong, its just a temporary state that the muscle is in because of the conditioned event of going to work. You will very gently and slowly bend down to get the pain without straining more into the pain. You know had this happened any other time the bending would not have been an issue, so your smart enough to know this is this way because of the conditioned situation that has to be broken first for your muscle to be fully functional. If you were to strain more and say Im not going to let this beat me, you have lost the reason the muscle is the way it is now and therefore there will be no steps to correct that conditioning. Actually the challenging will say to the mind danger, and will then make it associated it more with the trip to work. With continued work on the keys, the O2 deprivation will be less and less and the amount of gentleness required to bend will be less. Ease and gentleness is different than fear. Being easy on a body part at first is not fear is just being smart and knowing later when your muscle is fully functional you will be able to do everything. Trust me when you have no o2 deprivation, bending will not even be an issue for you to even think about, and therefore you can just act "normal" |
| plum |
Posted - 01/23/2013 : 07:42:45
Cath,
Similar story here. I've had tms in my achilles and back before and it didn't freak me out like tmj does, nor did it hurt so relentlessly. I appreciate all the theory on why this is so but like you I feel stuck between the devil and the deep. Really do appreciate any and all thoughts people have. |
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