| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 04:47:25
Life event:
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Vacation
Trouble with in-laws
Trouble with boss
Spouse starts or stops work
Sexual difficulties
Revision of personal habits
Retirement
Pregnancy
Personal injury or illness
Outstanding personal achievement
Minor violation of law
Minor mortgage or loan
Marriage
Marital separation
Marital reconciliation
Major mortgage
Imprisonment
Gain a new family member
Foreclosure of mortgage or loan
Divorce
Dismissal from work
Death of a spouse
Death of a close friend
Death of a close family member
Christmas
Child leaving home
Change to different line of work
Change in working hours or conditions
Change in social activities
Change in sleeping habits
Change in schools
Change in responsibilities at work
Change in residence
Change in recreation
Change in number of family reunions
Change in living conditions
Change in health of family member
Change in frequency of arguments
Change in financial state
Change in eating habits
Change in church activities
Business readjustment
Begin or end school
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TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
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| 12 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/08/2013 : 08:31:50
quote:
Originally posted by pspa123
Thanks for listening and apologies if this was too personal.
Thanks for sharing. I feel it is important to share with others what you are going through even if it is on an online message board, because were are all dealing with some intenese current stressors which contribute to our symptoms and we sometimes need re-inforcement.
BTW, I have an autisic brother who is now in his 50s. |
| pspa123 |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 20:46:01
TT, yes thanks for asking I have had lots of therapy and over time one adjusts and goes on (working, taking care of him and other kids, trying insofar as possible to be normal, etc.) but the grief and to some extent the anger never goes away. My son was perfectly normal until his 18 month vaccines, he got very sick right after (almost certainly from the pertussis component which back then was a live cell vaccine) and within a short period of time he lost speech, self-regulation, etc., never to recover-- he is now 25 and requires constant care and has a very low quality of life. Over the years we have been promised a hundred cures by (perhaps) well-intentioned practitioners, mostly on the alternative side, but needless to say none of it helped. One makes adjustments, one learns to some extent not to blame oneself, one learns that life goes on (as it does in far worse circumstances, see Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning), but realistically there isn't any way someone who has gone through this is ever going to be whole. Or at least I can't imagine how that would be possible. That said, as many helpful people have pointed out, there are probably things I could be doing a lot better to find a coping strategy that doesn't deny the hurtful emotions but at the same time would involve less ongoing trauma and stress -- which I am SURE (whether or not it's consistent with strict TMS teachings, as I am well aware of these sources) is contributing to pain. Thanks for listening and apologies if this was too personal. |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 18:54:24
PSPA123, I am so sorry to hear about your son. that is a real tough one, especially for very intelligent people. Friends of ours, a very successful Doc in New Jersey, whom my husband trained, have a severely autistic son also. I have to say, that they deal with it fairly well and have really done their best for him.
You know, when we have children, we never know what we are going to get. I think some of us think that we will get clones of ourselves! It just doesn't work that way. But then, that is the beauty and challenge of life. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 18:05:12
Pspal123,
Have you ever had therapy on dealing with your issue? Are there support groups that can help? Do you have help so you can have some respite from dealing with your son's challenges? |
| pspa123 |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 17:36:58
Shawn thanks for responding. In my case most of the stress/anger at least that I am aware of day to day isn't from work or marriage but from having a severely autistic son. I have never really been able to find peace with that. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 10:01:56
quote:
Originally posted by pspa123
I've completely accepted my neck pain as psychogenic for quite some time but it doesn't seem to have helped....
Dr Sarno talks about people like yourself and you are not an aberration. You have intellectually accepted the TMS diagnosis but your unconscious mind is fighting back. I, as does SteveO in his book, suggest that you go back over Sarno's books and read then carefully until the message hits home on the inside and not just in your intellect. Remember, the pain will not go away right away and your impatience will make things worse for you.
Being a lawyer is a stressful profession and I am sure generates a lot of daily annoyance and inner rage. Try to think about those inner emotions being generated as a result of your job. Keep a journal, if possible, concentrating on your feelings about past trauma, current stressors and personality traits. Do you have a lot of financial responsibilities? Would you rather being doing something else? Do you feel trapped or un-fulfilled? Are you in debt? Do you have a poor relationship with your spouce? Are you a perfectionist or a very driven person? What was your relationship with your mom and dad when you were young? Self knowledge is the path to healing but it takes time and a lot of patience. You should try to set aside at least 1/2 hour a day to work on this as your health is more important than anything else. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 08:46:20
quote:
Originally posted by pspa123
...even worse, I am a lawyer LOL.
...I've read the books...
... I've read lots of other stuff too so I have a lot of ideas kicking around and sometimes find it hard to keep it all straight.
...I guess that's why I am still searching for a deeper understanding of what I should do next.
...It's a good idea to read the books again though, you are right.
You think it's tuff being a lawyer--try being a plaintiff at SCOTUS!
You have all the info you need in the Good Doctor's books. Reading more books won't make it any clearer or you're life better unless you aspire to be a book editor or a librarian.
Do what SteveO says: lead a dynamic life, accept, resolve, drive a race car, get a divorce, get a mistress, live large, get drunk--DO SOMETHING!--get out of your head. Forget your pain because you're too busy living.
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DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter
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"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod
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TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
Here's a map of TMS practitioners from the old Tarpit Yoga site, (click on the map by state for listings).:
http://www.tarpityoga.com/2007_08_01_archive.html |
| pspa123 |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 08:04:16
Shawn, thanks, even worse, I am a lawyer LOL. I've read the books of course but it's been a while and I've read lots of other stuff too so I have a lot of ideas kicking around and sometimes find it hard to keep it all straight. I've completely accepted my neck pain as psychogenic for quite some time but it doesn't seem to have helped and I guess that's why I am still searching for a deeper understanding of what I should do next. It's a good idea to read the books again though, you are right. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 07:48:19
Hi pspa123
You are in the same boat that many people find themselves in, they over intellectualize everything. Perhaps, like me, you are either an academic or academically inclined. In the process your logical (linear) mind gets in the way of your progress and becomes a substitute for belief and feeling. The best explanation of TMS and what is involved in found in Dr Sarno's Healing Back Pain & The MindBody Prescription. I recommend you read these books overt and over and over and over again and forget about trying to find additional information as it will do nothing to help your progress. Read especially the psychology and treatment chapters.
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| pspa123 |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 07:06:01
Please once again forgive my perhaps off the mark questions, but I had bookmarked this explanation of TMS pain that was given on the forum, and I am trying to reconcile it with this post and others regarding stress from life events as the cause. I am sure I am thinking too linearly but that's my training. Thank you for any thoughts.
"It is not difficult to determine the "one" event that is responsible for symptoms. It is impossible. It is important to accept there is not a one-to-one relationship between the symptoms and emotional triggers. The unconscious emotional "baggage" that leads to TMS symptoms has no relation to conscious stress or specific events." |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 05:59:04
Nope, not me, that's explained in the link--I got an appt with the hot tub.
Cheers |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 05:08:25
Hi Tom
Now you can give a detailed commentary on each item regarding how they contribute to stress. It should only take a few months. |
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