| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| balto |
Posted - 09/20/2012 : 18:29:14
A friend emailed this to me today, I like it and want to share it here. Hope you like it too.
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Discover The 90/10 Principle
It will change your life (or at least, the way you react to situations)
10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
...90% of life is decided by how you react...
What does this mean?
We really have NO control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in the traffic.
The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.
How?... By your reaction.
Do not let people fool you. YOU can control how you react.
Let us use an example...
You are having breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what has just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and you criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows.
You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish her breakfast and getting ready to go to school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.
Because you are late, you drive 40 miles per hour in a 30 mph speed limit zone. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60.00 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.
After arriving at the office 20 minute late, you realize you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is "D"
You had no control over what happened with the coffee.
How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say: "It's okay, honey, you just need to be more careful next time." Grabbing a towel you go upstairs and change your shirt. You grab your briefcase, and you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early a cheerfully greet the staff.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios.
Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why? Because of how you reacted.
You really have no control over 10% of what happens in your life.
The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 Principle.
If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not have to let the negative comments affect you.
React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, or getting stressed out.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in the traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? (a friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off), Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Who cares if you arrive 10 seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?
Remember the 90/10 Principle and don't worry about it.
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time to find a new job.
The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, why stress out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90/10 Principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.
The 90/10 Principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this Principle.
The result?
You will see it by yourself!
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and headaches. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 Principle. It can change your life! Enjoy it!
It only takes willpower to give ourselves permission to make the experience. Absolutely everything we do, give, say, or even think, it's like a Boomerang. It will come back to us.
If we want to receive, we need to learn to give first. Maybe we will end with our hands empty, but our heart will be filled with love. And those who love life, have that feeling marked in their hearts.
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
| 4 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| balto |
Posted - 09/25/2012 : 09:08:07
I think you are right, I googled and found that Stephen Covey did indeed wrote them. I'm glad you like it.
Perception is very important. It determined how we feel, it produce emotions. You can see perception affecting people's life all over the world.
We normally grossed out when someone passed gas next to us or when we got stucked in traffic right behind a trash truck. Now, if you go to cambodia or brazil, you sometime would see all these people running around the landfill looking for recyclable stuff to sell. They lived their live right in a mountain of trash. Or You heard of story about street kids live in the city's sewer pipes. Story of people living in slumps with open sewer all over the world. They would say: I got no choice, no use fighting it, it's just part of life.
After the Vietnam war, thousand and thousand of US soldiers suffer from ptsd. They suffered in silent, they suffered and it take them a long time to get over it, many never get over it. Their country don't welcome them back. They got no support from their society. Their church and family are of limitted help, "just get yourself together and go get a job". "Be tough", "don't just sit there, do something"....
There were more than 3 million people died in Vietnam during the war. But the number of ptsd sufferers in Vietnam is very small. You would rarely find any. The different I think is because people tend to have big families and their families welcome them back, their neighbors welcome them back. They are too busy with their new life, busy with making a living to dwell on the past, the horror of war. It was karma, it's part of life, it is in the past now, got to make a better future, no use thinking about the past, no use regretting about the past...
The right perception help. Acceptance help. We got to use it and steer our mind in the direction that would be helpful to us.
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
| RageSootheRatio |
Posted - 09/23/2012 : 22:13:13
THANKS, Balto (the 90/10 Principle comes from Stephen Covey?) Anyway, I appreciate your posting this and I just wanted to say that I continue to enjoy and appreciate ALL your posts on the various thread. This one reminded me also of something else you had posted on another thread ... (for anyone who missed it):
quote:
In one of my old post I told of a story of my 2 neighbors. They both lost their houses to forclosure. One was so distressed he had all kind of tms/anxiety illness and had to be hospitalize. The other was so happy he no longer have to live in fear of being evicted. He was happied with a much small rent expense. He love his new life style of less material things and less expenses. Same event, same tragedy (or blessing), 2 different perceptions, which one should we choose to have?
Two guys lost their job due to the bad economy. One was so upset, angry, and so worry about his future he became depress, lost his appetize, suffer from insomnia and headache. The other guys told me what a blessing. Now he has all the time he want to go back to school for some training, all the time to be with his kids, all the time to spend and look for the right jobs... Same events, 2 perceptions, which one do we want to have?
Two brothers found out after their mom's funeral she left 90% of her estate to charity and leaved them with just 10%. One of the brother was very upset, angry, he said that money that he never worked a day for should be his. He hired experts to prove to the court that his mom was mentally unstable when she wrote the will. He supplied the court with details of the time and expense he had incurred in his 2 trips to visit her to "care" for her. Long story short, he lost the case and received a big bill from the expert. Now he is more angry, upset, and can't sleep. The other brother just said well! it was her money. She gave gave me food, she keep roof over my head, she gave me a wonderful education, I don't need her money. Took his share of the will and went to Hawaii for a wonderful vacation. Same event, 2 perceptions, which one do you think will be good for our well being?
Perception can be hell or heaven.
!! I must say, these posts have been very helpful ! :o)
thanks again,
RSR |
| andy64tms |
Posted - 09/20/2012 : 19:03:43
Great story Balto,
I've met hundreds of people this summer, most of them are hurting in some form or other, and many of them are in pain. Probably safe to assume everyones hurting! In future I'll say "He's having a 90/10 day."
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Taking a break from Wiki Edu. due to windsurfing priorities
Charlie horse on neck for 20 years. (to be evicted soon.)
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
| eric watson |
Posted - 09/20/2012 : 18:57:20
Thanks balto,dont sweat the small stuff,even though i know this is what im supposed to do -today i wasnt-i have a very hard day lined up tomorrow and its made me depressed-i woke up from my nap feeling this way,like my world is falling apart,now that ive read your post i feel better,its like norman vincent peale or dale carnigie (how not to worry) -i think ive been a professional at worry for most of my life-thats the reason for reading all the self help books,but today i just couldnt shake it-thanks for your post-it came at the right time -if just to remind me |
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