| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| johhnyblotter |
Posted - 09/13/2012 : 12:01:22
Hi Folks. Well, here's my story. I have had severe bouts of sciatica starting at age 20 and continuing through age 36. Every 2-4 years I have suffered an episode but have always been able to recover with a few months of regular physical therapy. Well, this last episode hit about two months ago, went on for about six weeks with little to no improvement from the physical therapy. Then, one evening, when reaching down to pick something up...SNAP. Felt a snapping feeling and the worst pain I've ever experienced. Literally screaming for help. The EMT's had to basically break down my door and get me on to the stretcher. I then had 2 more ER visits before getting an MRI, showing a rupture at L5/S1, with a big chunk of disc sticking out. The neurosurgeon confirmed that the MRI corresponded with my complaints of severe numbness in my foot..feels like I am stepping on a nail. Also have problems with the back of my hamstring. But just today, after reading some of Sarno's book last night and also having felt a bit better over the last couple days, decided to postpone surgery.
I have been basically lying in bed for weeks, afraid to move a whole lot, and afraid to sleep on my side...I am scared I will have another "spasm" or "rupture" or the disc will pop out more. I have only been walking a few blocks a day, to the store and back, very gingerly. But today I started fighting it, and thinking psychologically, and I'll be damned if I wasn't able to walk a bit better and farther, and not using my crutches. I've been told not to sit but I just told myself I am not accepting that and I have been sitting here for a couple hours. I really want to give Sarno's ideas a shot here, but my one worry is that when I wake up and get out of bed, I still have this nasty lump feeling in my foot, like I'm stepping on nails, which corresponds to the L5/S1 rupture. That's the one thing that gives me pause...that I have the lump in my foot right when I wake up. Physiologically the MRI and my symptoms are in alignment, but I realize I am being sucked a feeling of fear and I am now fighting because I see how it is taking over my life.
So today I started fighting against it, and just tried to start doing what I normally do. Any support from anyone out there is most appreciated.
-Jon
About to get surgery...or maybe not... |
| 5 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| johhnyblotter |
Posted - 09/14/2012 : 07:51:29
Well folks, I am on day two of of this journey. And I can already say there has been definite improvement. Whenever I find myself bending gingerly or feel myself start to walk gingerly, or, perhaps, go into some silly deep knee bend just to pick something up, I just starting repeating the steps from Sarno's book. There is nothing wrong with my back, this is an emotional issue...and I start thinking about the issues in my life that have caused anger. I even started to do a slight jog earlier...although, my left leg did feel very heavy. But I am fighting the fear every time it creeps in.
I looked at the stairs today and thought, what if I just ran up the stairs like I used to? And I didn't do it. I was too scared. And my leg still feels very heavy and a bit numb. When Sarno says I should resume all physical activity, I have taken that and instantly started to walk normally. But I admit there is fear about things like carrying a heavy bag of laundry, or lifting weights, or carrying my cymbal bag all around town (I am a drummer). I am itching to play drums again...maybe I should go do it.
I also used to be very into running, but haven't done it in eight months due to all the back stuff. Would it really be the right thing to do to go running, or go lift weights? I am not going to be hard on myself because I can see how much fighting I have to do constantly to do the basic things normally, and without fear...which so far means, walking, sitting, and working. Last night I probably slept for four or five hours, better than any night in the last month!
Part of the fear includes going against what most of the medical community, and specifically what my neurosurgeon has said. He has told me not to sit, not to bend, and to basically sit in bed for a month and take dilauded (which I've stopped taking), OR get the surgery. But now that I've been going directly against that advice for a few days and seen some results, I'm going to continue on.
Steve, I started to listen to the interview on youtube last night. I didn't get through much as I had some work to do but I will be checking that out when I get some time.
Thanks to all who have responded. As things stand I am a believer in TMS and I am feeling optimistic.
About to get surgery...or maybe not... |
| eric watson |
Posted - 09/13/2012 : 21:25:45
You have to stop the fear thoughts-they will bring to pass just what the drs say-you can win with knowing that to fight the tms with positive affirmations and just going about your daily business and ignoring the death threats the docs are going to throw at ya-they almost had me crippled for life before i accepted the tms theory-you will win this.have you read steveos book.theres a lot of good info on here that i use everyday in my journey-i broke the contant pain cycle using sarnos theorys about 2 months ago and i continue to have break throughs with steveos book and the help from this forum-good luck-you can do it |
| SteveO |
Posted - 09/13/2012 : 21:07:45
If you take a hardline stance to fight your pain you could prolong it. The idea is to understand the pain, think about what events, or lifestyle, led up to your pain, and then never let it alter your activities.
You're also in the same quandary I was in, having those MRI images stuck in your head. You need to un-stick those with some guided imagery, along with conscious breathing. Words like "rupture" and "chunk of disc" will keep you locked in pain as your biology follows your belief.
What you should be most concerned with is the objective numbness, absence of pain on testing.
My leg was paralyzed, and I lost my hamstring and foot reflexes and sensation. It was TMS. I also had that lump in the foot feeling. Listen to this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x27bD0V3rPg
You couldn't walk if your back had sustained structural injury. If you did it would light you up, not get better.
Good luck Johhny, be good
Steve
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| tennis tom |
Posted - 09/13/2012 : 12:25:31
Haven't a chance to read your post but to edit, there's an icon above your post that has a pencil on it, press that to edit.
Welcome aboard
==================================================
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter
======================================================
"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod
=================================================
TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
Here's a map of TMS practitioners from the old Tarpit Yoga site, (click on the map by state for listings).:
http://www.tarpityoga.com/2007_08_01_archive.html |
| johhnyblotter |
Posted - 09/13/2012 : 12:09:39
I should also mention that I've been taking dilauded, 2mg up to 4 times daily. I stopped doing that yesterday and I am going to try to just stop taking it. My foot feels uncomfortable, and walking and sleeping are the main problems, but I am not having burning sciatic pain. I am optimistic about trying to work through this. I really want to avoid a lifetime of being careful and living in fear.
About to get surgery...or maybe not... |
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