| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| art |
Posted - 07/29/2012 : 19:58:10
...else who care to take a stab..
I'm more than halfway toward believing that swelling can be stress induced. SteveO calls it part of the TMS process, but what does that really mean? My understanding is that TMS refers to psychosomatic pain, and swelling since it involves a manifest physical reaction, is by definition not psychosomatic...
But if we settle on "stress induced", we open the gates to a vast spectrum of disorders and illnesses that once set in motion cannot be reversed quickly, if at all by relying on stress reduction alone. In the case of swelling, we ignore that at our peril it seems to me. I've been talking recently about a swollen knee I ignored for weeks on the hopeful assumption it was TMS, and was rewarded for my trouble with a torn quadricep tendon along with, as a kind of bonus prize, a blood clot.
Speaking of blood clots, Ace who's a physician believes they too are or can be stress induced. Most physicians are quite adamant they should be treated with blood thinners, though ace thinks they can be treated by mind/body techniques if I'm understanding him correctly. Though he does concede there's alway the risk of a piece of clot breaking off and taking a little trip up river where it can do real mischief...Of course, that can happen anyway.
Don't know what I'm getting at exactly. I guess it's this, that I'm looking for a better understanding of the difference between psychosomatic and "stress induced" or" stress related" and what those differences mean in a practical sense. I've had a few run-ins with bursitis recently, and while I now am much closer to accepting the role of stress in bursitis, I can't see the wisdom of ignoring an inflamed, leaking joint.
Anyway, thought it might make for a good discussion. Thanks to all for a great forum..
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| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Cath |
Posted - 08/19/2012 : 04:58:52
See what you mean TTom - it's definitely all about the words - got to get myself a new vocabulary. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 08/18/2012 : 15:24:01
quote:
Originally posted by Cath
After nearly 4 years of my current TMS, I have a bit of muscle wastage to deal with.
Cath
I would use a different word than "wastage", it's a bit of a pejorative. Atrophy is what's happening and that can be reversed with a couple of weeks of reusing a muscle.
G'luck |
| Cath |
Posted - 08/18/2012 : 11:52:39
Matthew - sounds like a good affirmation. I do keep trying to change the words in my head. And tell myself on a daily basis that I am healthy - not sure about the strong though. After nearly 4 years of my current TMS, I have a bit of muscle wastage to deal with. I am quite active, but there is always room for improvement.
Cath |
| MatthewNJ |
Posted - 08/18/2012 : 10:44:23
Cath,
Whether your ready or not, I suggest that you keep trying. At some point there will be this ah ha moment. Mine was that "enough is enough" moment in my story (5 years after first reading MBP).
One suggestion I have is reading the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Specifically the first agreement which is "be impeccable with your word". I have found this to be very helpful to me in my evolution. there have been numerous posts on this site about how what we say creates who we are. There is actually scientific evidence backing that up!
For example, I would re-phrase this
"I am struggling with a couple of things, and I know that fear is holding me back. Fear of the pain, which leads me to procrastinate. "
to:
"I am working in a focused manner toward resolution of TMS. I am strong, I am healthy and my body responds well to my needs".
what do you think?
btw: I believe procrastination is another equivalent of TMS
Matthew
Ferretsx3@comcast.net
--------------------
Less activated, more regulated and more resilient. |
| Cath |
Posted - 08/13/2012 : 04:29:36
Matthew - i understand exactly what you're saying. I only came to realise a year ago that what I have is TMS, but I've probably had it since my first migraine at 10 years old. I have quit a lot of habits in the past, and know that it takes a certain amount of perseverance, and the will to do so. Also, as you say, the time has to be right.
I have gathered information, and am trying to treat the source, by being completely honest with myself, and trying to recognise what caused my current pain in the first place, along with coming to realise how my personality affects my current state of health.
I am struggling with a couple of things, and I know that fear is holding me back. Fear of the pain, which leads me to procrastinate. So your post made me think maybe I'm just not ready yet to let go. Because who in their right mind would want this constant burning, stabbing , pulsating monster. Maybe I'm just not in my "right mind" yet.
By the way I read your success story, and it was pretty humbling. And also, we have the same taste in books and films. |
| Birdie78 |
Posted - 08/12/2012 : 14:14:06
Matthew, sounds logical to me what you wrote above! I also think there¡¦s some recurrent theme for all TMS-sufferers: repressed emotions. But as unique each person is, as unique is each form of TMS.
For some people it may be helpful not to collect so much information, for me that doesn¡¦t really work! Since I was a child I was very interested in understanding things, always asking my mum for the ¡§how¡¨ and the ¡§why¡¨. Always tried to get of the bottom and second-guessed (ok, I agree, the last won¡¦t ne so helpful for TMS ƒº ). It¡¦s part of my personality to try to understand an actual situation on a deeper level! And therefore information is indispensable. I find it more difficult to understand these informations on an emotional level, too.
But, as I mentioned: I am a fan of much information, for others it will be better to know less.
The same about permanent and full recovering only by reading a TMS-book. Think it also depends on how deep and complex is the problem causing TMS. Obviously it worked for some folks, not for me. That can reassure you, but it put me a bit under pressure (what if I read the book and nothing will get better? Does this mean I don¡¦t have TMS? ).
I am sure TMS got a firm part of my personality and it will be my lifeswork to get recovered. Maybe I have to go a loop way on just accepting my emotional and my physical pain as I feel maybe I am not up to let the symptoms go (although suffering a lot). It¡¦s a part of my biography and it¡¦s typically for me to want to get rid of bad feelings as fast as I can (my doctor called me ¡§the personified avoidancebehavior¡¨). Unfortunately he¡¦s right.
So my subgoal for the next months or years will be: NOT avoiding the pain. Becoming aware of the painfull sensations. Being mindful. Try to understand.
I was a bit frightened when I read Sarnos book. He recommended to ¡§yell¡¨ to your brain, to tell him, that it will not be in power just any longer. Think it would be more helpul to see the brain/unconscious not as an enemy but to appreciate it for it¡¦s try to safe me from emotional pain. Tell him ¡§thanks for the try to protect me but I don¡¦t need your help in this manner any longer¡¨.
Nice theory¡Ktime to begin. Walk it like you talk it, think this should be my new motto!
Bye,
Birdie
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| MatthewNJ |
Posted - 08/10/2012 : 15:41:56
I have been aware of my TMS since 2003. I had TMS for 27+ years in one form or another before I knew what TMS was. I have been treating it since 2004. 12 years. I have been very successful with it since the end of 2008. 4 years. OY! lots of practice! So, maybe I should write a book? LOL! Sorry, folks...not this week!
I respectfully disagree with Steve on only needing MBP. Or one set of information. Although I do agree this inunitself
can be a distraction and lead to continued TMS. I have been collecting TMS information for years. And I continue to do so. I take a bit from each source if it works for me. Sometimes it doesn't work and it works later. Or I can share it with someone else and it works for them. And that works for ME. That said, Do what works for YOU. As for when you "heal", the answer is simple, not easy to swallow, but simple:
When you are ready.
I had seen Dr, Sarno a number of times over a 1 year period. I was seeing Dr. Evans (one of Dr. Sarno's trained psychologists) for 2 years. Then I had a gastric (TMS) ulcer. A year later I had a severe back pain episode. TMS again. THAT was when I was ready to heal. That was when I said "enough is enough". And then it still took a bunch of narcotics and twice a week with Dr. Evans for a number of months.
I have not had a sever episode since the end of 2008. I do not ever intend to have another. I work on it every day. It is now my journey and my practice.
THIS is what I believe the solution is
-1- You have to be ready (ever try to quit smoking?)
-2- You need the information (more for some, less for others)
Btw, I don’t believe in reading it once and having an instant
cure. My experience is, there are only a few folks that this has
happened to. MOST folks may have rid themselves of
back pain and still believe that shoulder pain (or any other
equivalent) they have is physical! I have seen that over and
over again!
-3- You need to treat the source not the symptom (This is why
western medicine doesn't work as a permanent fix. They
primarily treat symtptoms.
-4- You need to practice it every day. Not just until you are
better. Not just when you have pain. EVERY DAY folks! For the
rest of your life.
It's like a diet, you can loose weight (and it will come back)
OR you can change your eating habits.
See http://tmswiki.wetpaint.com/account/matthewnj for more on how I got there.
Matthew
Ferretsx3@comcast.net
--------------------
Less activated, more regulated and more resilient. |
| MatthewNJ |
Posted - 08/10/2012 : 15:00:42
I always rule out the physical first. I learned this from Dr. Sarno and it can not be said too often. That said, I beleive that virtually anything can be a TMS equivilant. I learned this from Dr. Evans I am believe it to be true. Again, though ALWAYS rule out the physical first.
-1-If the body can reduce blood flow to cause sever pain, why can't it create swelling?
-2- We DO have truly physical problems too.
And that is what I call the TMS conundrum!
I too had blood clots. I was in the hospital with a TMS gastric ulcer when the clots were diagnosed, I had 4 in my lungs already and 1 in my leg. Needless to say I let the western docs have at me.
Were those clots psychosomatic? Maybe. Who knows. In that case I chose western medicine.
Matthew
Ferretsx3@comcast.net
--------------------
Less activated, more regulated and more resilient. |
| Wavy Soul |
Posted - 08/10/2012 : 13:35:06
Ha ha Steveo, "Bermuda Triangle"
How about the Bermuda Pentangle: parent dying, sibling dying, spouse leaving with secretary, lawsuits, cancer, no money...?
actually I could easily do a Bermuda Polygon (12 sides)...
but the honest truth is that all these issues are self-resolving and I'm finding the power of surrender, at the same time as giving myself no sh*t about remaining symptoms
I am going back to read about how Hurte resolved his hurt.
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
| Cath |
Posted - 08/10/2012 : 04:04:37
Thanks Steve, I was flicking through the chapters of your book yesterday on my kindle and came across the one on HSPs - it rang a lot of bells for me, and I will do a search for the story of Marcellus Hurte too.
I don't have Skype, but thanks for suggesting I e-mail you - it would be a great help for me to have a little support with my recovery.
My little dog crept onto my knee before I picked up my ipad today - pre-empting tears, but his soothing wasn't needed today.
Cath |
| SteveO |
Posted - 08/09/2012 : 14:36:05
Cath my posts were for ~~~> you. I hoped others would also see themselves in it though.
Your puppy knows you're hurting inside.
You have what I call the Bermuda Triangle of TMS that I've seen many times. There is the midlife crisis, with recent loss of parent, and exodus of children. Add to that the search for a career direction and your good health vanishes. That's the reason I mentioned career in the HSP chapter. Aron said that vocation was by far the hottest topic in her seminars. People implicitly understand that they need a goal or direction in their lives if they are going to be fulfilled and happy and healthier. You can't stop the kids leaving or the parents dying or the midlife from coming.
So I spent time on purpose so that people could see that it is something we are born with and should seek out, if we're to be genuinely happy. It's also another reason I put the story of Marcellous Hurte in there. Do a search for him on your Kindle and think about what he said there.
Good luck, email me if you want, do you have skype?
Steve
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| Cath |
Posted - 08/09/2012 : 07:39:03
Steve - i did realise that you were aiming your post at all of us out here who are struggling to resolve our own battle with TMS, but for me, you were "right on the money" so to speak, and I was overwhelmed with your passion to get your message across in order to help us. You have a way of putting into words exactly what we TMSers are doing and feeling, which you are eminently qualified to do because of your own personal experience.
You know, I'm not someone who is easily moved to tears, but you managed it again with your second post. I have a little dog, who has been my constant companion for the last 6 years, and on both occasions over the last week when I have picked up my ipad and blubbed like a baby, he has crawled onto my knee and licked my arm for a full 10 minutes, making it very soggy.
When I read your book for the first time, it was my intention to go back and read it again, (now for the buts) but I got distracted with yet another book to read, and yet more information to process. This was probably also procrastination on my part, because I realised that I have a lot of work to do in order to fully recover. I have to explain that the version I bought was the electronic Kindle version, and I have this week put in an order on Amazon for the paperback version, so that I can go through it on a daily basis with a highlighter pen. The part in your book which made me cry in the first few pages was "Setting the Stage for Pain", particularly the part about being physically or emotionally abandoned by a caretaker. So, yes, I do think I am repressing a lot of grief over my very dear mum's death, but without going into too much detail, it was just the tip of the iceberg.
My only son left home a couple of months later, and although he is still around, I don't see a lot of him, as he is rightly seeking his own independence. I was also very worried about my Dad living on his own, after 52 years of marriage, and spent a lot of time with him for a while. But I underestimated his resilience, as he has acquired a very busy social life, and a new lady companion (who is a very nice woman), and has been on two cruises already with her this year.
I gave up work just before my mum passed away, and have been seeking that "something" that I can give my full attention to, which will inspire and excite me for the rest of my life, because I know that looking after a home and a husband (as nice as he is), is not enough for me.
My running did save me after the break up of my first marriage, and when I was 40, I qualified as a fitness trainer, but had a few injuries a short time after, which I now recognise as TMS (illiotibial band syndrome, leading to knee pain). Then I started getting exercise-induced migraines, which eventually led me to cease exercise altogether. I know what you mean about the release that running can give you. I always said that a good run "sorted my head out". But that was over 10 years ago now,
and I would be starting from scratch, plus the added stress of my myofascial pain (TMS), which encompasses just about the whole left side of my body from head to toe, and is echoed slightly on the right.
I guess I am a typical TMSer, and your book gives me a lot of answers, and your humorous play on words every now and then did make me laugh. I have all of Dr Sarno's books and have read them, but preferred the simplicity of HBP, so did concentrate on that for a while, but yours is so much more comprehensive on the what to do. Some of it still scares me a little. I have been taking Neurontin for about 2 years now for the neurological pain, and it's not a drug you can just stop taking, you have to titrate down slowly. I want to be drug-free, but the last time I tried it, the pain was unbearable again, and just made life miserable. I really need a massive dose of strength and faith, rather than the massive dose of neurontin I'm taking at the moment.
So now, I will emulate TTom for a while and re-read and ponder your book in it's paper form. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post, and for your caring and compassion for all of us out here with TMS.
Cath |
| SteveO |
Posted - 08/08/2012 : 21:55:11
Cath I didn't mean to make you cry. I usually make people laugh, at me.
That post wasn't aimed at you it was aimed toward you. I see it as the most common "form" in the people who are stuck. Back when I first heard of TMS there was almost no information on TMS. People begged and scratched for new information. If someone went to see Dr. Sarno they were bombarded with questions about what was said.
Today there is much more and some of it is conflicting with Dr. Sarno and some are conflicting with each other. This just means some people see it their own way. Right now there are 7 books being currently written on TMS that I know of, how many make it to publishing will be exciting to see because it's a lot harder than people think.
What that means is there's going to be even more information soon. In 50 years there may be 2000 books on TMS as people see the freedom Dr. Sarno brings to their lives, they want to share it.
But this brings it all back to my last posting. If there's one type of salad dressing at the store we grab it and enjoy it. If there's 40 we tend to stand there in gridlock. You take what you have and you use it. The only way I would recommend reading everything is if the person doesn't understand TMS. Maybe something someone else wrote might connect, but I think Dr. Sarno's work has passed the test for providing the needed material. One of the reasons I wrote is because people kept saying, "I believe Dr. Sarno, I know he's right, but he left me hanging on what to DO???" That's why I have the What You Need To Know, and What You Need To Do sections. To walk people through. I think I could work with someone and heal them with just my chapter 14 though. I would like to experiment one time with that.
Having said that, I would say about 50% of what I'm seeing people say that I said in my book isn't true. They seem to be overlaying a personal experience template over my words as they read, so they are seeing what they want it to say as opposed to what it really says. I do the same thing sometimes. The eyes see what they want to be there even if it isn't. TTom is doing the right thing by reading in small sections and thinking about it.
Even worse is when I ask them about this or that and they don't know about it even though they read the book. So this was my point in the last post. People are reading but not integrating. Their eyes are going over the words from start to finish but they aren't taking in the message. It could be because there are so many other sources of information out there. They may figure, "after I finish this one I'll get that one...etc."
But I had HBP by my bedside. I woke up to it and went to bed with it. My wife was getting jealous after while. When I said goodnight honey I wasn't talking to her. I had the good doctor's book glued to my body like an IRS agent on an Olympic gold medal winner. I wouldn't part with it. I printed out some of his most powerful sentences and hung them on my wall to pass by everyday so I could read them as I went by.
So it baffles me that people could read my book and then stop. They should take everything in there and think for weeks about each one, make margin notes. I would not give up on it ever, but I didn't just want to heal, I was going to heal.
Everything you need is in any one of the books out there, I think, I haven't read them all. I made mine a story to make it more readily acceptable to the unconscious and a manual so people could always return to it if they had a replapse.
What made you cry in the first few pages Cath? I worked with a couple women on their TMS who got that basel cell but their doctors were telling them they were thinking of declassifying it as a cancer. Those women are both fine now.
Do you remember in my book where running often made me worse? But you don't have to run like me. Maybe you deeply don't enjoy it, I love running it frees me like Doby Grey's beat.
Also, remember when I said in my book "you may have to get into better physical shape?" They key is "may" because some people don't do it and they heal ok. Each word I used was carefully chosen for affect. Not many people remember my statements like those when I ask them about it, they gloss over all that tedious detail too quickly. There's a lifetime of information in it though.
Don't ya think, that maybe, your mum's death is causing you pain? Can you see it? Remember, the emotions that drive TMS are too powerful and sad and threatening. Don't you think the loss of her could be that powerful or sad? I do. There's a lady I mention in my book who developed severe pain, when she went to see Dr. Sopher she told him she had lost a few dear friends that year but she couldn't associate her pain with the losses because of repression and superego. Dr. Sopher talked her into seeing a grief counselor and she's fine now. I recommend you see a grief expert. Certainly your one and only mother is a deeper wound than you can handle consciously, thus TMS is there to help you cope through your deep emotional pain. Where there is sorrow there is some anger.
Your peace won't come when your pain ends. That's a common error in perspective. Your peace will come when allow for peace and your pain will end as a result because it won't have any purpose.
I do care if you heal. I wouldn't give my free time writing a book or trying to help if I didn't.
Steve |
| Cath |
Posted - 08/06/2012 : 10:08:38
TT
Thanks for your comments also. You're right about the freudian slip there - ooops! Showing some of my OCD tendencies.
In answer to your question, my TMS therapist didn't give me any indication of why she thought I hadn't recovered after the six week programme as I maybe should have. She seemed happy with the small amount of progress I had made.
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| Cath |
Posted - 08/06/2012 : 09:14:23
SteveO - thank you so much for your in-depth post. I hold my hands up! Everything you said rang true. I have been bombarding myself with information, and not getting down to the basics and sticking to them. I am now going to put aside all the other books recommended to me and re-read yours, after wiping away the tears that you again provoked, the first being after reading the first few pages of your book.
After I read your book, you inspired me to put my running shoes on, which I did for a very short while, but the fall-out after every run became too much. Or the fear of the fall-out became too much. My pain increased to unbearable levels, and it felt like a backward step. Physically, I do just about anything I need or want to, but I know from experience, that there is nothing better than the powerful feeling of being physically fit. I'm just not sure that this is what I want to concentrate on now. Also, I have the added worry of more skin cancer from too much exposure to the outdoors. I do walk my dog for a couple of hours a day, with the aid of sun-block, hat and glasses, which doesn't give me the same buzz as a good run used to, but I'm happy with this for now.
I know there are areas of my life that I would probably benefit from changing, and while I have been mulling over just how I'm going to go about it, because frankly, there just doesn't seem to be any way out of it, I have been doing my utmost to reconcile myself to it and keep myself occupied relatively happily until there comes a time when it will change again. Because life does keep on changing, sometimes only very subtley, but it will change eventually.
I do know that I am repressing a lot of emotion. It feels like sorrow, rather than anger, but maybe it is anger, because when I was a child, if something made me angry, I always ended up in tears. I still don't know the WHY. My Mum was fairly strict with my brother and I when we were kids, and didn't tolerate any back-chat, but I had a fairly happy childhood. We did move around quite a lot back then, and I was always having to make a new set of friends, which I have attributed to the fact that I have always been a bit of a loner as an adult, apart from my husbands (failed first marriage) and immediate family. My mum passed away suddenly with pancreatic cancer 8 months before my pain began.
I have been considering some psychotherapy sessions, because I think some of what's boiling away inside of me needs to be heard.
I know my peace will come when the pain ends - I just haven't had a moment's respite (apart from sleep), for almost 4 years now. I don't say this to gain sympathy - I know a lot of people have had it far worse than me - it's just a fact, and if I could find a way to stop it for just a few moments on waking up in the morning, then I'd have something to work with.
Here's to going back to basics and thank you again Steve for listening. I think it's the fact that you listened and cared enough to write such a great response that brought on the tears again.
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| SteveO |
Posted - 08/05/2012 : 14:36:48
Thanks for your post Cath, twas needed
This is important and deserves a response. I've been thinking about this for a couple months and have been too busy to get back here, but your post pushed me to finally sit down and try to explain what I see happening. I get about 60-70 emails per month now, on TMS, asking about healing. About 10% come from this group. Of those who seem to be struggling more than others I can now make a fair generalization.
This week I had two more people email me saying my book had completely taken their pain away--pain they had for many years, and tried everything to vanquish. Another person emailed me to say he was really close but didn't want to jinx it by prematurely partying. The distinction between what they did and others are doing becomes clearer. Did vs. doing. One acts, one gathers. People who seem to be "stuck" (for want of a better word and bringing in neurotransmitters) are doing similar things.
Here is a composite statement: "I read all of Sarno's books in a week, then I read Schubiner's one night, then I read Fred's the next day, then I read SteveO's this month (because the damn thing is so long), and I'm not healed yet."
I can visualize them sitting frustrated on the floor with this pile of TMS books next to them in a pyramid--dazed and confused. It's a classic Type T response--the seeking of the grail through perfection. They seem to feel that by reading all the books that something they may run across will suddenly begin to heal them. This is not what knowledge therapy means. Knowledge therapy means healing through awareness through information. Piling up volumes of the same information doesn't seem to work for the majority. It's far greater to keep integrating more deeply the same information from one source. I wore out HBP as the pages fell out and I had to buy new copies, and listened to the tapes of it well over 500 hundred times.
All I needed was HBP. Many have healed from devastating pain with only MOBP, and even more with just MBP. That is proof that you may only need one "set" of information. Less is often more. In my repetition chapter my intent was to get people to reread, not necessarily to serial read.
When I wrote my book I had already helped quite a few people heal; they were the ones that talked me into writing it all down--so I knew it worked. Dr. Sarno read my book and said he was "happy to endorse it," so did Drs. Sopher, Miller, Northrup, Travis and Pelletier. I didn't just write down my opinions, I wrote down everything I used to heal, and what others used to heal. Everything needed is in there, unless...
I threw the kitchen sink into an encyclopedia of TMS healing, knowing that there is something in there for everyone. My purpose was to show how I healed, and to pull all of Dr. Sarno's work together, (and the other TMS info out there) to explain how he was correct in everything he proclaimed and how it intertwined with my life. And it's working, the increasing successes are proof. If someone can't find a pathway out from what I laid down the resistance is within the sufferer. The material is sound. A small few, as I described in great detail in my book, are too arrogant to accept the message because they complain about everything, it's their personality to be agitators, and no one will ever tell them what to do, They will find my book "greatly under-impressive." Many people have TMS because they have bosses and spouses like these people. That's why I spent so much time and effort on ego, and criticism, and personality.
I held my breath for 4 months as Dr. Sopher went over my manuscript line by line checking it for both TMS accuracy and medical accuracy. I still have his handwritten note to me from his review that stated with, "Excellent!" Dr. Sarno found my book impressive, so it's important to look at the source of all complaints and rejections, and to understand how the shadow aspect drives people to both good, and bad.
Everything needed is there and has a purpose for being in there, it just isn't magical. Andrew Weil, MD, said that he was well aware that his patients projected all their hopes of healing onto him. But that as a physician he could do very little for them because all healing comes from within. Only the sufferer can pull herself out of the fire, the knowledge gives her the lifeline though. The entire concept of healing is to locate the placebo. This is important to understand.
Some people read my book, then email me and say, "Hey man, I read your book, it was excellent but it didn't work." That sends up red flags everywhere. I reply, "Did you read it again and again for at least 6 months, did you do the twice daily meditation for at least a year, daily progressive relaxation for at least a year, become more physical, use music therapy, forgive anyone, stick to your goals, CBT, laugh more, daily transparent routines, nighttime appreciation, program dreams, etc etc etc??"
Did you really do all those things I wrote about in a 377 page book, that have been proven to work, and it still didn't work for you? The response is always, "well, no." ..or "I started to but...." They read it thinking it would heal them--but they need to incorporate what I wrote into their lives. The stories of people who healed instantly has done a great disservice to the rest of us by setting the bar too high--expecting suddenness.
It's not about getting rid of pain. It's about life. It's about letting go, deeper awareness, and becoming happy. That's why Dr. Sarno said he had no method for dealing with pain, only a method for dealing with stress.
If you take anything from my story it's that there are often many setbacks and that healing aint easy. And I think I was in much more pain than most. I only say that by the horrified emails I'm getting. I hadn't thought I was any different from everyone else until all the feedback.
It's the full belief and persistence that lead to eventual alteration and change. I know there are some who will say "hey I didn't do all that." Well good for you. That's why I said "generalizations" at the beginning of this post. There are no absolutes. But that statement alone is as dangerous as hearing stories of people who have healed instantly after sleeping on one of Dr. Sarno's books. The statement of "there are no absolutes" is now being misused. It now gives them freedom to opt out of the dreaded work, by saying, "well that worked for THEM, but not me because there are no absolutes"---allowing them to jump from method to method without owning responsibility for their healing. So beware of the extreme "ends" of the yin and yang, everything comes full circle.
I've seen healing occur hundreds of times over the past 11 years. Those who stop gathering information and stick to the basics heal nicely.
What did ole doc Sarno say was the most important thing to do? Become active--the more rigorous the better. That's why I stuck to the pounding it out method. I stopped gathering details and stuck to the basics with relentless hope. But you need to understand that you don't have to reach the physicality that I did, nor will most be able to. But you should keep moving according to what you feel is rigorous movement. I've seen people in their 70s heal. A walk around the block for some is as rigorous as a 5 mile run for others. It's all relative.
As I wrote, the idea is not to solve all of life's problems but to rise above them. Some have healed by finding inner peace; so did I, by pounding pain out.
Janette Barber brought up the good point in our interview that you don't need to discover the "thing" within your unconscious that is perpetuating symptoms. This is true, depending on level of emotional disability, and the relentless search is driving some crazy with un-needed frustration. It's more important to understand that you ARE repressing something, or everything, and to understand WHY you feel the need to. What happened in your life that makes you a strong repressor of your anger? Why do you get so angry? Hint: It's relationship based. And it began as soon as your persona began to form around 5 yos old so (the earlier the more severe the emotional scarring, 2 1/2 yos old is a danger point.)
People who claim no anger or anxiety is involved don't understand TMS. It's there. They don't fully understand the TMS process as defined by Dr. Sarno and so dismiss understanding anger's very important role in healing, I can't remember exactly when, but awhile back I saw someone say they weren't angry and had no anxiety. Then someone named Dave came in and said the right thing, paraphrasing him, "I think you're getting unconscious anger mixed up with conscious anger." That's right! People who don't feel anger think they don't possess it. But the anger causing the unpleasant symptoms is never felt. I was stuck at the anger point until I suddenly realized it was there but that I didn't realize it: and my final healing took place.
The ones who are "healed" found something to focus on away from pain and they didn't stop until they altered the way their brains reacted to pain. As TTom said here quoting me quoting him quoting me, we will always have something. The idea is to get to a quality of life where we are finally happy and give no credence to symptoms after we have been medically cleared. Happiness is a choice though; encompassing the love of self as much as the love for the other.
Steve
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| tennis tom |
Posted - 08/05/2012 : 08:39:13
quote:
Originally posted by Cath
...or I just haven't reached that perfect state of peace that my body needs to truly heal.
...Whatever it is, I will keep trying, and looking for the size that fits me.
Nice posts ladies! Cath, not to judge a post or life by a word, but it may be a Freudian slip that you wrote of searching for a "perfect state of peace" before allowing your TMS cure. Perfectionism is a TMS'er personality trait. Even if you are living in the wilderness or at an ashram, it will still be hard to find a "perfect state" of most anything. Life will find ways of intruding. Perhaps, in your case, you need to stop searching and accept what is. I'm learning to stop tryingto do everything perfectly--who cares? The things that are important to me, I try to do well, but all the routine stuff, I don't care about so much anymore. In the end no one will give a hoot if my chopsticks are all the same length.
I believe SteveO mentions there may never be an end to pain. When it fades into the background, of what you are doing and is no longer serving the purpose of distracting from the emotional--that is the cure. There may be pain, but it is not preventing you from doing what you want to do. For example, after 20 minutes of walking, my hip pain fades away. Now, I need to have that occur in the stop/start of tennis. When the pain is no longer the focus, that is the cure.
Was there any conclusion with your TMS therapist as to why you were not "cured"?
G'luck |
| Cath |
Posted - 08/05/2012 : 07:03:55
Wow! Well said Wavy, and so beautifully put. I was introduced to Dr Sarno's books only a year ago by a physiotherapist and clinical nutritionist, and I am still struggling to become a virtuous follower of his ethics. I have also recently read SteveO's book, and was truly inspired and awed by his personal struggle with his own TMS symptoms. I think when you read these books, you're looking for a manual to follow, which will miraculously cure your particular problem. And I know SteveO did try to cover all the bases with a very comprehensive set of instructions. But we're all invividuals, and we've all had so many varied life experiences that have culminated in our own set of problems and symptoms - one size definitely doesn't fit all.
I too have experimented with a lot of different exercises, therapy and nutrition. I now stick to a very healthy diet, which has stabilised my weight, and gives me the energy to deal with my own struggle with TMS. I also know what my sensitive body can tolerate in the way of food, and what it can't, by way of elimination, trial and error. I did try SteveO's method of "toughing it out" by pounding the pavements in my running shoes for a short while, but this really wasn't for me. It may have worked when I was a good deal younger, but the ageing process has advanced a little too far, and a gentler approach definitely suits me more now.
I have journalled prolifically, seen a TMS therapist, and been through a programme, and while my pain has lessened, it's still not gone, despite my best efforts to think psychologically, and I feel as though I have wrestled with every demon in my head that I can possibly think of. Either there is a demon buried deep inside of me, or I just haven't reached that perfect state of peace that my body needs to truly heal.
Whatever it is, I will keep trying, and looking for the size that fits me. |
| Wavy Soul |
Posted - 08/04/2012 : 21:57:39
Yeah, this stuff is humbling. There are moments when I feel like a "guru" in this field. Then something sneaks up on me and I feel like a beginner again.
I have been musing on the "either/or-ness" of the questions in this thread.
Personally, I do what I can for my health, and I experiment a lot with diet, nutrients, various kinds of exercise, and so on. I could hardly live without coffee enemas. And I go every so often to my doc to get my bloodwork done and check in on the basics. If there is a clear problem that some non-noxious remedy can help, I take it. I am practically bionic woman as regards bioidentical hormones, for every gland in my body. Have been doing this for years on and off - feel better when I do and my levels go up. Btw, I'm not asking anyone's opinion on this.
Why I'm saying this is so many times I see that people are asking whether they should be doing physical things for problems they are having. It becomes a stressful conflict, and sometimes TMS fundamentalists weigh in with ponderous comments like "you are thinking physical, so your symptoms will never go away."
But life isn't black and white. As I said above, I was very close to ignoring my cancer. And I have found that my sensitive body responds quite differently to different kinds of nutrition and it's totally absurd to me if someone thinks that's a placebo. With the current state of the world food, which is about a quarter as nutritious as 50 years ago, according to very serious scientists, I want to give myself the best shot I can at health - i.e. organic, and so on.
This isn't a cult like Christian Science where we approve or disapprove of people taking physical pathways to resolve problems. Really, it's when those don't work that we become more convinced it's TMS, if it is. And even if we fix it physically, and it was TMS, it will just move somewhere else. There isn't some great virtue in defeating TMS without trying to resolve the symptoms. As someone said somewhere, if you were growing grass and you put a big rock on it, it would wilt and go yellow under the rock. The first step to fixing the grass would obviously be to roll away the rock (sounds Christian!), and then to feed and water the grass and "gentle" it.
I have had to do the same with my symptoms. I treat myself gently. Although I am still recovering from a level of prolonged trauma and resulting ongoing PTSD that is almost scary to think of, and therefore still have some TMS, I HAVE overcome many, many TMS symptoms - fatigue and dry eyes are the main ones left. But a lifetime of back problems is down from 90% to 10% bothersome. I had suicidally painful TMJ and affirmed my way out of it (this is TMS this is TMS).
So I'm advocating a gentle, both/and approach. Most of us are not able to do the heroics that a few "success stories" imply are necessary and possible. In my profession, it's pretty widely known that everyone has a success story early on in a new modality. It's then how well the changes integrate over your whole life that is the real transformation. Yeah, from reading the books, you could have a "cure..." And then some of us go back to having to navigate a complicated, nuanced path, doing the best we can to apply the principles imperfectly.
Nighty night
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
| art |
Posted - 08/03/2012 : 18:10:07
"But since I'm not so great at resolving some quite petty TMS problems, there is no way I'm going to take risks with the big stuff, and I think that's what you're feeling Art. "
Right wavy. Just so. And yet there's always that hard to pin down middle ground stuff. And even more confounding, even small stuff can get big, given enough hopeful neglect.
This stuff is humbling. I really had things under control, or so I thought for years. But the aging factor has really been confounding. Stuff I ignored with barely a second thought is now not so easy.
The only way I can deal with all this is to change the classic, is it real or TMS question to an affirmative statement along the lines of "Real or not real, I will accept either eventuality with serenity and strength."
Cath..
I'm really very happy for you on the skin cancer. It's a good lesson, in the importance of seeking out a specialist when the stakes are high. I also like your balanced approach. Been here for 7 years, and still learning.
Of course, I've always been a slow learner :-) |
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