| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Son_of_Liberty |
Posted - 03/29/2012 : 07:42:54
I want to share a little bit of my history and battle with TMS.(starting the structured TMS program today) This is long, I am sorry I have tried to shorten it generalizing in many spots.
I am only 26, though I now understand that I have dealt with TMS since I was 20. Started with an ulcer, then terrible allergies, which all my life I never hard allergies growing up until at this point. A few years later the dreaded lower back and leg pain came on. I was bedridden pretty much at the age of 24 for months. I feared back then the idea I might be in a wheelchair before the age of 30.
It went away after some time. (I broke down into a crazy emotional outburst out of nowhere! I cried like a little girl, not easy for a man to admit!) The pain that had crippled me for 4 months at this point vanished like it was never there in two days. I was confused how something so severe and painful could just up and disappear like that, but happy nonetheless. I had flare ups over the next few years, but never like it was in the previous episode stated. In 2008 I picked up a Sarno book - The Mindbody Prescription. I read it - made sense but since I seemed better for the most part I just put the book to the side.
Fast forward to 2011. This was a bad year. In November I really hurt my back, I woke up out of nowhere with it so stiff I walked all contorted and slowly.Each step was like someone was grinding me down and If I fell I would break in half. Even my doctor was confused at how it could be so severe when I did nothing to cause it. Two days later I woke up and the front half of my right foot was completely numb. I could not walk without hitting it into stuff, and it was surreal looking down at it and know I could not feel it was even there. This scared me pretty badly.I had the classic "drop foot" as well. I was advised to get surgery to prevent further nerve damage. In my scared state and worrying myself like crazy about it (I am sure this tendency does not help, after reading the books!) I actually did get a discectomy in February 2012 on my l4/l5 area.
The surgery by all accounts went very well. I woke up in the recovery room and noticed my left arm and fingers had a slight tingling and ain. Never had that before. They said it was the anesthesia wearing off.
Fast forward a week. I am now home and recovering well. Though the tingling in my arm and fingers was still there, only stronger! And when I went to sleep I woke up two nights in a row at exactly 3 AM with my right knee in agonizing pain.(kind of amazing how the brain works on a schedule even). The second night I rolled over to my left knee and woke up ten minutes later with it in crippling pain but my right knee was all of a sudden fine. This struck me for the first time as a "lightbulb moment". I told myself this was absolutely retarded and pointless. It dissipated literally in just a few seconds.The next day feeling encouraged (like I had some kind of new superpower!)I actually spent a few minutes looking in the mirror and telling myself my newly formed arm pain and tingling after surgery was ridiculous as well and it needed to stop. About two hours later, it was gone and has not returned as of this moment.
Now that these symptoms are gone, I still have some residual numbness in my right foot though it is getting better slowly and I do believe it will improve now that I am on the right track. The other side of my back is now hurting and sending pain down my left leg some, the same dull ache and hurt I had the surgery for, just on the left side. In the past I would have been terrified and have the "oh here we go again mentality" Not this time, My brain got lazy with the pain symptoms and I caught onto it now. I feel I have the upper hand and though this back pain I now have is annoying it will go away in time too, I also understand I may be chasing this pain around for awhile too since it has already employed so many areas.
Now as far as my personality I am of the goodist and perfectionist traits, horrible combo! I like to keep the peace at all costs. ( I am overly nice and friendly sometimes, and at work I am a crazy perfectionist to the point I beat myself up badly over simple mistakes. So yes it is no mystery to me why I have this condition.
One more tidbit, I was raised in a setting where you always (as a male) did not show emotion, and took things in stride. You always just overcome obstacles and don't complain - its a weakness to show emotion. The one good thing about this TMS, is it has made me realize that as humans we have to show emotion and that is not a bad thing. Being a man and being aware of emotions is not a weakness, It is being human!
I will update if anyone wishes me too as I get through this.
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| 3 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| CaliBack |
Posted - 03/31/2012 : 15:45:26
This is an inspiring story, thanks for sharing... |
| lynnl |
Posted - 03/29/2012 : 10:28:54
Liberty, your story, with only some symptom pattern differences, sounds exactly identical to mine.
It is amazing how fast those pains that can seem permanent can be made to evaporate with the proper mental treatment.
Lynn |
| Son_of_Liberty |
Posted - 03/29/2012 : 07:49:47
Actually I would like to add to this. I would like to ask any of you that would have any awesome tips that worked for you. I have a good concept, but I want to harness all of the good methods out there and what worked for some of you that I can! |
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