| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Aussie |
Posted - 03/18/2012 : 00:27:43
This isnt a rant about the sometimes clueless medical world but more to share my experiences and hopefully get some input off others who have battled with pain.
I think what we learn and believe about pain or a specific "injury" plays a huge part in how our TMS pain develops and more importantly how the fear then takes over. The incredibly powerful nocebo's we hear from a doctor can stay with you for a lifetime and keep you trapped in the cycle.
Breaking that cycle of fear is to me the hardest and most important part of getting over TMS pain. Rejecting the structural diagnosis as Sarno puts it. I hope by telling you all my story we can share some of the strange things we've been told about what is causing our pain.
At age 18 when i was super fit and playing high level sport my life changed when i bent over to pick up a pair of shoes and experienced the most intense pain/spasm in my low back.. It dropped me to the ground. I couldn't stand up and lay there in agony. I had never had any back pain before and was really scared as the pain level was like nothing id felt before. It hurt more than when i had broken bones playing sport. I got to the doctor the next day. He was very concerned by my pain level. Xray was normal. MRI showed minor disc bulge at L5 with no nerve compression. Thats when i got the first piece of news.
The doc said you will have to be careful with movement the rest of your life. If you bend forward the disc can slip out of place. You will have to restrict activity and certainly give up the sports i was doing. He also added i was not a surgical candidate due to having no nerve impingement so i could try PT and baby it for the rest of my life. PT guy basically said the same, Back injuries degenerate and at age 18 this will most likely get worse as you get older.
Well i did get better after around 6 months but i was permanently mentally scarred over the whole ordeal. I went back to my sports and only ever felt about 95% and although the pain was gone i was always wary of re-injuring so basically i felt like damaged goods. I was always worried about doing something to aggravate my back and the fear really had me in a hold. I still carried on leading an active life and playing sport with this fear. Over the next 10 years apart from the fear and believing i was broken my back rarely bothered me.
I would get a really bad flare up once or twice a year but a bit of PT and i would be ok in a couple of weeks. That was until around 2 years ago when chronic back pain started. Right when i was doing heaps of gym/weights and exercise. I immediately panicked thinking the heavy weight lifting must have flared up the old disc problem.
This time i didn't want to muck around so i went to the most expensive and respected Physio i could find. This Physio has written books and is very well known.New MRI showed same thing,Minor bulge with no nerve issue. One good thing was she said the MRI was basically normal and not a cause for panic.
However she did say i had a "Stiff spinal segment" and most likely facet joint arthritis. This was assumed as all other tests had shown nothing. I did her exercises every day,Atleast an hour every single day. They made me feel better for about a month but the pain quickly returned. She was baffled. She then told me that due to the muscles being in permanent spasm i was in real danger of developing spinal instability in the future. I had gone from having a minor bulge which as we know is normal in adults to being told i was on my way to have a completely loose and malfunctioning verterbrae because i wasn't getting relief from the exercises!!
For those who dont know instability is incredibly rare and a reason for fusion surgery. So i had no pathology or symptoms to suggest instability but she seemed fit to tell me i could be headed there? I was a little older and wiser so i left. The next 2 years are a blur of different Physio's and back care classes. The weird thing was each new one i went to would tell me to stop doing the exercises the previous therapist gave me as they are no good? Do our ones and you'll get better!
There is just no consistency and the whole PT for back pain is a joke. Every single one had a complete different set of exercises that were meant to be the next big cure for back problems. At one stage i was doing 3 yoga lessons a week plus a back care class twice a week. I bought an inversion table and used it daily. Every weekend i would be laying on the lounge room floor stretching for an hour. If anything i got slightly worse after doing all these treatments. My flexibility certainly improved with all the yoga but the pain stayed as stubborn as ever.
Next up i thought i better give a chiro and an osteopath a turn. The chiro was the funniest. While getting assessed by him he also diagnosed an upper back issue and a disc problem in my neck. His exact words were " This neck problem will only hold out another 5 to 8 years and then you'll be in serious trouble"...Apparently having him crack my back and neck 3 times a week at $55 a pop was going to sort everything out good as new. I went to him for months and wasted a small fortune for literally zero improvement.
Funny thing was i developed more neck pain after he found my neck "problem". I was at my wits end by now. I would pin all my hope on the next treatment i was trying and then be crushed when it would fail. All my effort and determination to become pain free would feel like a waste of time and the FEAR takes hold. What if i need surgery? What if the pain gets worse? How will i cope? These thoughts are the result of 2 years of chronic pain. The FEAR had me now and it is a vicious 24/7 cycle.
Then while patrolling the internet for yet another back pain cure i saw a recommendation for Healing Back pain. That was late last year and it has changed everything for me. No more PT. No more doctors.No more wasting time and money. I am one of those TMS newbies who has read all of Sarno's books and get it but still have the back pain. When i ask myself honestly and dig deep as to what is holding me back it's this that i come up with.
The remaining FEAR is still there. Not as much but still enough to keep this dirty TMS around.
The voices of the dozens of Physio's i put all my hopes in still speak to me when my pain is really bothering me.
The what if's start flying around my brain and the anxiety about back surgery and all that nightmare stuff can spiral my negative thoughts out of control.
But im onto it. It's site's like this and the remarkable success stories on here that show me that light at the end of the tunnel. The medical world could not fix me and heck they couldn't even diagnose me. Im so glad i dont have to hear crap like "your disc MIGHT be causing your pain" or "Your pelvic floor muscles are de-activated" It's all rubbish as far as im concerned. I have TMS and i will beat it... Thanks for reading.
I know that was long but that was kind of like journalling for me and felt good to get off my chest. |
| 7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| lynnl |
Posted - 03/19/2012 : 11:02:06
I agree Joy; better to just laugh and view it with ridicule. 
Lynn |
| Joy_I_Am |
Posted - 03/19/2012 : 04:38:12
By the way, I don't think it helps to regret the erroneous or possibly harmful information or treatment we've had, or to dwell on 'what if's'. I find it just brings me down. I prefer to think with glee about how great it is to have got away from all that.
Joy |
| Joy_I_Am |
Posted - 03/19/2012 : 04:35:32
Yes, paragraph breaks are important, I try to be aware of that!
Re. 'nocebos', I can still remember seeing an osteopath when I was a student, and him telling me cheerfully 'You'll need a replacement hip by the time you're forty!' He and I were both young then, and forty seemed a lifetime away, and a suitably decrepit age for things to start falling apart...
This year I will be 47, and still happily walking about and doing more exercise than a lot of people I know. Thanks to Dr Sarno, that nocebo sailed long ago...
By the way, this:
"... This neck problem will only hold out another 5 to 8 years and then you'll be in serious trouble"...Apparently having him crack my back and neck 3 times a week at $55 a pop was going to sort everything out good as new. "
...really resonated with me. When you look at it like that, it's ridiculous...
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| andy64tms |
Posted - 03/18/2012 : 23:58:29
Two years ago in July my HMO doctor missed diagnosing my rumbling appendix pains. The very next day it burst at work, and I was rushed to hospital with all the bells and whistles the paramedics could provide. I was pretty much out of it due to those nice morphine shots.
On reflection later I had to consider that the doctor asked leading questions,did not palpate my stomach. Apparently there is a very simple blood test that he could also have performed. Further reflection on previous visits with him, I remember him being very keen to sell me on his religious views, did not ever know my name after many visits, and was obviously distracted. He no longer is my GP.
The flip side was the surgeon that performed the emergency surgery was a real hero to me, after graduating at MIT in Mechanical Engineering, realized his calling was in the medical field. My kind of guy. He was there for me.
I’m not bitter and I feel better for adding this post. Thanks for the paragraph gaps Aussie.
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Now on Day 8 Wiki Edu.
Charlie horse on neck for 20 years. (to be evicted soon.) |
| lynnl |
Posted - 03/18/2012 : 22:44:25
quote:
Originally posted by Aussie
The doc said you will have to be careful with movement the rest of your life. If you bend forward the disc can slip out of place.
It's absolutely incredible that we have such ignorance certified to provide health care to the public. The sad thing is, it's the norm, not the exception.
And the unwitting public never questions such horse manure.
By the way, thanks Aussie, for adding the white space.
Sure makes it easier to read.
Oh, and an interesting story too.
Lynn |
| lynnl |
Posted - 03/18/2012 : 12:25:03
quote:
Originally posted by Aussie
I know that was long ....
From my perspective, the length is not an issue.
But the long, unbroken block of text is. I find long blocks like that just simply too tedious to read; so I don't even bother.
Even if the paragraphs are not exactly organized grammatically correct, it's much more readable if there's a blank thrown in every 5-8 lines.
That's not intended as an admonishment, but just a friendly suggestion.
Lynn |
| Theo66 |
Posted - 03/18/2012 : 11:31:07
Hi aussie....I really understand...ive had ( from a good chiro)...your neck is never the same after a whiplash....and Id had three. Ive since injured my coccyx and was told that the tailbonewas was notoriously difficult to treat and I was given an injection and told that it probably wouldnt work. Just before I went in for an hour long MRI scan..which Id been dreading..... the nurse said.....I think an hours far too long to be in that machine but you can always push the panic button.
I guess placebos are temporary...so lets work on keeping the nocebos the right size and be proud of how we managed thru it all with such 'support'.
Best wishes |
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