| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 02/08/2012 : 16:36:25
I was doing some research on George Soros, the financier, and found this interesting quote on the wiki by him, his TMS seems to be serving him well:
"I'm only rich because I know when I'm wrong... I basically have survived by recognizing my mistakes. I very often used to get backaches due to the fact that I was wrong. Whenever you are wrong you have to fight or [take] flight. When [I] make the decision, the backache goes away." |
| 9 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| balto |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 18:14:14
quote:
Originally posted by Wodg
I regret what I did for the last 12 years. What a waste although I'm enjoying slowly becoming ME again.
The changes I made is an attempt to come more close to feeling free and I couldn't agree with Mark Twain more when he wrote:
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
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| Wodg |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 09:39:44
Hi Balto
I had to change my life or die. I hit rock bottom had 48 hours of panic attacks straight. I was convinced I was dying (and I was inside)
I quit my job and started a business so I can be more flexible. Tomorrow I will meet my Grandad for a swim down the beach (couldn't do this in my job) I've reconnected with my friends and I'm looking to fill my time with hobbies and friends. I've been surfing everyday and today I sold a load of junk.
I regret what I did for the last 12 years. What a waste although I'm enjoying slowly becoming ME again.
One thing I've noticed since changing is that TMS/anxiety makes you very selfish.
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| balto |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 08:49:06
Hi Bugbear.
It is difficult to make friends and keep friends in this modern world. People are too busy making money, paying bills, trying to keep up with the neighbors.
For me. When I finally decided to completely change my life, I sold my house and moved to a much smaller house. Got rid of 90% of my possesion, work less and need less to live. I keep just the wife, the daughter, and my dog. I joined charities, took classes, traveled with old friends,... All of my activities required me to meet peoples, to spend time with people... It was a drastic change and I don't think too many people would do what I did. But man! I have never been happier in my entire life. Freed from tms/anxiety. Freed from worry, freed from stress. And when stress does come, when tragedies happened, I found that I am much more prepare to handle them and to stay content, healthy.
I exchanged material needs for meaningful relationships. I worked hard to keep my relationships with other meaningful, healthy, and happy. I am much poorer now but I am healthier and much happier. My marriage is very healthy, we're more in love now than when we made lots more money. I have friends who are doctors and dentists who are on depression med. I have friends who are lawyer and businessmen who are always enter rehab and therapy. They have lots and lots more than I do. But I have the 3 things that they are all crave for: love and happiness and no pain.
Goodluck to you. |
| Bugbear |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 00:39:06
Balto wrote "Dr Sarno, Dr Claire Weeke taught people to get rid of tms/anxiety, but if we don't change our life style, the symptoms will keep coming back."
These words really resonate with me. I do suffer from loneliness. I live with my immediate family. They are busy with their own lives. The rest of my family are scattered across the world and some of them I am completely estranged from. I work part time at a job that involves helping people often in distress or crisis. My social life is practically non-existent despite me trying to connect with people, join groups etc. For instance I am on another forum where people share a common interest. Some forum members meet up on a regular basis. I have attempted to start my own group in my area. No interest from others. I met up with a few people in a neighbouring area a couple of times. That group seems to have fizzled out. We were meant to meet in Dec. Meeting was cancelled due to lack of interest. Another meeting scheduled for January. It too never happened due to people's busy schedules. I could look even further afield but this would involve lots of travel. Money is tight due to partner's job loss. He just informed me we are overdrawn at the bank but that's another story.
Anyway I do hear you, Balto. I agree wholeheartedly with what you are saying. I just struggle to connect with people. Maybe they are not the right people. Something about me has to change, i.e. too self-reliant, introverted? I don't know. I will persevere.
P.S. I am not on, nor am i a fan of Facebook. I hear all about how it damages relationships from clients at work on a weekly basis. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 02/14/2012 : 10:45:30
Yup! Sailors home from the sea also. They may drink heavily when on land away from their mates. Good posts Balto & Wodg. |
| Wodg |
Posted - 02/14/2012 : 09:36:26
Balto you hit the nail on the head once again.
The same with professional footballers once they retire, they no longer have their team mates around and too much time on their hands (they get depressed, drink, gamble). It seems a lot of rock stars also seem to crumble when they are off tour even though they do drugs etc when on tour it's when they get home they usually struggle or die of overdose in their lonely mansions.
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| balto |
Posted - 02/14/2012 : 09:27:24
Last year while backpacking in Thailand I've talked to a few friends there about tms and anxiety. They told me it is a rich man's disease. And I think they were right too. If you notice, tms/anxiety are for the most part only happen in rich, well developed countries. Being well developed mean people live in a much more isolated life style. private vehicles instead of public transportations. Big house for a few people instead of small house for 3,4 generations of people. And people are more isolated now with all these advance in technology. Many people have thousand of facebook friends and not a single friend in real life. They have hundred of followers on Twitter but no one recognize them in their own neighborhood. The time they spend with a real human being in a meaningful conversation is about an hour a month... Well! what do you expect with that kind of life style? Loneliness? And when people are lonely what do they think? They think about themself and ALL their troubles. They think about the life they wish they can have. They regret about the past. They this and that and it's all about themselve. The self is the most dangerous thing. I and me, I and me all day long.
I Think we need people. We need real people, not facebook people. We need meaningful relationships. And we need it constantly. Dr. Sarno wrote in his book stories of people and why they get tms. He wrote about people unconstious mind can't stand this emotion and that emotion and that is why they got tms. Well, if you think about it, whatever happened to dr. Sarno's patients, also happened to million of people around the world. Much worse things happen everywhere and yet why tms/anxiety are only a big problem in the West? Dr. Sarno's patients got raped, have family problem, have to care for sick relatives, have stressful jobs, have problem relationships.... The whole world have those problems. We all have those problems. People got raped everyday in Darfur. People live in constant fear in North Korea. People got beat up everyday in the slumps of Brazil and India. People go hungry everyday in Somalia. People die everyday in Afganistan... People have much much worse around the world and yet they don't have tms. WHY?
Because they have other people. They're are poor and have a desperate life but they always have each others. They always have someone to share their tough life with them.
Do you notice that the majority of American soldier with PTSD only develope PTSD after they left the service? WHY? Because They enter that lonely civilian life and have to much time to think about the SELF, about what happened. Because they're no longer busy with their duties. Because they no longer have the support of their army buddies. South Vietnam lost to the communist in 1975, I never know of any of the former S. Vietnam soldier have PTSD. They're not any tougher than American soldier, they just have a lots more social and family support. They were just too busy with life. They didn't have much time for the SELF.
Japan have the world's highest rate of suicide among people above 60. WHY? With economic success, the younger generation are too busy making money, they don't have time for their lonely parents.
Why Bill Gate and Buffett don't get tms? Because they have a good family life. They do lots of charity work, and most of all, they spend countless hours with good friends to play bridge every week. Real friends, not Facebook friends.
I can go on for days about example I've seen around the world what loneliness have done to people in developed countries. We either need people or we need to be a monk. Dr Sarno, Dr. Claire Weeke taught people to get rid of tms/anxiety, but if we don't change our life style, the symptoms will keep coming back. |
| Wodg |
Posted - 02/13/2012 : 00:09:19
Hard to believe Soros would be a TMS'er. I would of thought you would need to be ruthless/umemotional to succeed in his game.
here's some more idioms
'Weight off of shoulders'
'They give me the ****s!'
'I had to get it off my chest'
'you make me sick'
'breathe easier'
'feel it in my bones'
'get on my nerves'
'gut feeling'
If anyone can think of more please add as I find them very interesting.
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| lynnl |
Posted - 02/12/2012 : 15:39:02
Over the years, even in my pre-acknowledged-TMS days, I often noticed the same thing. When I would finally deal with some ornerous unavoidable task hanging over my head, such as an income tax return or a school or work assignment, I would feel immensely better physically. ...especially my sleep pattern.
But nowhere is that more evident in daily life, than as it plays out in family relationships. Clear the air, everybody* will feel (physically) better afterward. * - spouses, children, parents, siblings, friends and associates, etc..
It's no accident our language is full of implied relationships between mental/emotional well being and health: e.g. "you'll sleep better <blah, blah>", or "...<such and such> is a pain in the neck/ass/etc." Others escape me at the moment, but there are many that I've taken note of at various times. We take those expressions for granted, and view them only metaphorically, but they do have real, literal validity.
Lynn |
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