| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Teebox |
Posted - 09/15/2011 : 09:09:42
I’m looking for some advice on how to beat a nasty recurrence of back pain.
Thirteen years ago, with the help of a doctor that referred me to Sarno’s books, I overcame a seven year battle with debilitating back pain and other TMS related symptoms. Five months ago, two weeks after the birth of our first child, the pain returned – not as severe as thirteen years ago – but bad enough. There is no doubt in my mind that this is a TMS flare-up. However, when I beat this thing thirteen years ago, all it took was the education process to go from feeling all the symptoms I was feeling, to feeling 100%. This time, education does not seem to be enough. I have followed the advice of Sarno’s treatment chapters for three months now, and my pain, while not getting worse, is not getting better.
I guess I’m really just looking for advice from people who may have had a similar experience. I’ve thought about seeing a therapist, but not sure it is worth the time or financial commitment, and I’m not sure who I would see. Like the rest of you, there is a lot more detail to go into here, so I am happy to provide more information about any aspect of my past experiences with TMS. If in this process I can help someone else – all the better!
I will be logging on frequently… thanks!
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| 14 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| balto |
Posted - 09/25/2011 : 06:18:05
quote:
Originally posted by Dave
quote:
Originally posted by Darko
...Remove all negativity from your life...
While this is the right idea, this goal seems quite unrealistic, and certainly cannot be achieved overnight, if ever.
By forcing yourself to face those negative thoughts/feelings and accept them, you should come to realize they are irrational and counterproductive, and over time, you will be able to think more positively about things.
For example, if I'm worried about a big project at work, I will force myself to face my deepest, darkest fears about it. Often it comes down to low self-confidence and perfectionism. I admit and accept these feelings, but also convince myself they are unwarranted and counterproductive, shake them off, and begin to think positively about the project. When the project is completed successfully, it reinforces my confidence and I generally feel better about myself.
This is the reconditioning process. It takes commitment, repetition, and time.
I guess this is another way of saying: "face your fear and the dead of fear is certain". |
| Darko |
Posted - 09/25/2011 : 03:26:04
I agree with what Dave said......I just don't always articulate it correctly. When I say remove all negativity from your life....I mean try your best to remove excessive negativity.....including the stuff in your head.
D |
| Dave |
Posted - 09/21/2011 : 11:56:35
quote:
Originally posted by Darko
...Remove all negativity from your life...
While this is the right idea, this goal seems quite unrealistic, and certainly cannot be achieved overnight, if ever.
By forcing yourself to face those negative thoughts/feelings and accept them, you should come to realize they are irrational and counterproductive, and over time, you will be able to think more positively about things.
For example, if I'm worried about a big project at work, I will force myself to face my deepest, darkest fears about it. Often it comes down to low self-confidence and perfectionism. I admit and accept these feelings, but also convince myself they are unwarranted and counterproductive, shake them off, and begin to think positively about the project. When the project is completed successfully, it reinforces my confidence and I generally feel better about myself.
This is the reconditioning process. It takes commitment, repetition, and time. |
| Darko |
Posted - 09/20/2011 : 15:02:41
Teebox,
I have had this happen to me three times now. awareness alone did not fix it for me, you have to change the way you do things in your head. My guess is you have heaps of negative thinking going on.....Negative thoughts lead to negative emotions.......and if you're stuffing those thoughts down....well you get TMS right?
Look at all the stuff going on in your life and the WAY you think about them. change it so your thought patterns are more self supportive. Remove all negativity from your life. I have written about this loads.....just look up some of my previous posts if you're interesting in finding out more.
Good luck
D |
| Dave |
Posted - 09/19/2011 : 14:29:46
quote:
Originally posted by Teebox
Also, within a few months of becoming parents, we moved to the suburbs and I started a new job - so no shortage of stressful events right now. However, I am very aware of the job stress and change of environment stress, but not so much the parent stress as it relates to doubts and fears. I probably need to start focusing on this a lot more...
Humans generally do not like change. The "child inside" is likely in a rage about it. So many major life changes all at once, it is not surprising you would have psychogenic symptoms.
Remember that while the stress you are "aware of" is an ingredient of TMS, it is not the cause. The symptoms stem from an overflow of repressed feelings that we avoid, that we do not want to admit we might be feeling. They are irrational, embarassing, forbidden, and guilt inducing. We don't want to experience them, which is why the symptoms occur to distract us from them. |
| Teebox |
Posted - 09/19/2011 : 09:42:13
Dave -
Good advice... While the birth of our child is an amazing and blessed event, our schedules have totally changed and are much more regimented. My wife is dealing with this better than I am. My first bout with TMS began 2 weeks after leaving home for college, so something inside me gets really pissed when significant change occurs too quickly.
Also, within a few months of becoming parents, we moved to the suburbs and I started a new job - so no shortage of stressful events right now. However, I am very aware of the job stress and change of environment stress, but not so much the parent stress as it relates to doubts and fears. I probably need to start focusing on this a lot more...
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| Dave |
Posted - 09/17/2011 : 10:26:58
If you have not experienced any relief, despite fully accepting the symptoms are TMS, ignoring them, and trying to explore the potential psychological reasons, then a therapist might better help you explore the feelings you might be repressing.
It's a pretty good bet that it has something to do with the birth of your child. Have you fully explored the potential negative emotions you might be repressing about this experience? Have you tried to get in touch with things that you might feel deep down but do not want to admit? The "child inside" is selfish and might resent this major life change. Suddenly you are saddled with a new permanent responsibility that will complicate your life in so many ways. Maybe deep down there are doubts and fears simmering, and even some resentment of the child for adding stress to your life.
These are theoretical examples, but the point is that while the birth of a child is a wonderful, amazing experience, the "child inside" might have some negative feelings about it that you would never want to face, never want to admit. These feelings are not conscious, not rational, but they are simmering inside. Try to explore what they might be.
If you continue to accept these symptoms are TMS, and just consider them a nuisance, and ignore them as best as you can, they should ultimately fade on their own, but if not, a therapist is not a bad idea. |
| balto |
Posted - 09/16/2011 : 08:37:04
quote:
Originally posted by Teebox
I’m looking for some advice on how to beat a nasty recurrence of back pain.
Thirteen years ago, with the help of a doctor that referred me to Sarno’s books, I overcame a seven year battle with debilitating back pain and other TMS related symptoms. Five months ago, two weeks after the birth of our first child, the pain returned – not as severe as thirteen years ago – but bad enough. There is no doubt in my mind that this is a TMS flare-up. However, when I beat this thing thirteen years ago, all it took was the education process to go from feeling all the symptoms I was feeling, to feeling 100%. This time, education does not seem to be enough. I have followed the advice of Sarno’s treatment chapters for three months now, and my pain, while not getting worse, is not getting better.
I guess I’m really just looking for advice from people who may have had a similar experience. I’ve thought about seeing a therapist, but not sure it is worth the time or financial commitment, and I’m not sure who I would see. Like the rest of you, there is a lot more detail to go into here, so I am happy to provide more information about any aspect of my past experiences with TMS. If in this process I can help someone else – all the better!
I will be logging on frequently… thanks!
I'm guessing that 13 years ago you were able to get rid of the pain because whatever negative event that brought on that pain has passed or been dealt with and you had to only dealt with getting rid of the pain using Sarno's method.
The event that caused your pain right now, the birth of your kid, you're dealing with a life changing event, an event that will stay with you for years to come. become a parent and all the responsibility that come with it is a big thing. You're not prepare for all the changes, all the responsibility, all the unknown that will come with raising a kid... Your pain exist because your brain is trying to "save" you. It is trying to steer your focus to the pain so you can forget the stress of having a kid. Even if you are able to get rid of your back pain, other pain or anxiety will soon come as long as you're still view your life changing event as stress.
I think acceptance (along with Sarno's) will help you get rid of the pain. Acceptance is a powerful thing. Without acceptance all of those Somalia refugees will have tms. Without acceptance all of those people from around the world that are suffering from war, famine, abuse, slavery, sex trade... will all suffer from tms.
When sand storm kill most of the Bedouin nomad's sheeps in Saudi Arabia, he just say "Alla's will" and go on with his life. The untouchable caste man in India offen said it is his fate that he is suffering now, he is paying the price for the bad things he had done in his previous life. The people in North Korea take comfort by realizing that they are not alone in their situations, millions of their fellow men are in the same situations. Terminally ill people usually passed away peacefully once they are able to accept death. Dieing is just going from on plane of existance to the next...
So if you're can change the way you think about having kid. Embrace the changes that are happening in your life. Focus on the positive, focus on enjoying the joy of being a parent. Believing in yourself, believe that you will be able to handle the changes... accept the changes will elliminate your fear of the future and your brain will cease trying to "help" you then you will be free to deal with your pain.
Hope this help. |
| Mayita |
Posted - 09/15/2011 : 13:10:25
Thank you Ghost,
I had my first session last week and I felt good after that. I could have my vent on the wrong diagnosis, clinical medicine, etc..
But today I had the second one... and I was wondering what's in store for me if I continue psychotherapy. The session did hit on several things about my childhood that were very intense and need to be explored, but I thought discovering these things would make things better, rather than worse.
I know that TMS symptoms often come and go, but I'm wondering if this is part of the process or it this might be an obstacle like opening Pandora's box...
She is a good therapist but not TMS trained... |
| theghost |
Posted - 09/15/2011 : 12:17:52
My thoughts on therapy is that it's just another bill to add stress to your life. I've been using a workbook to help me that I bought for 16 dollars. I forget what doctor made the work book, but it's called something like the mind body workbook.
If you've got the money and have a TMS therapist close to you, though, go for it. I don't have one close enough to me to go, so I bought the mind body workbook and am trying to help myself. |
| Mayita |
Posted - 09/15/2011 : 11:54:37
Hello Teebox,
Welcome on board!
I am a newbie here but I think that what led your recovery in the past will definitely help you now.
Just give it some time!
Be patient, as Theghost said, having a positive attitude is important!!
Regarding the Therapist, I have the same doubt...
Could anyone else help with this?
Cheers |
| theghost |
Posted - 09/15/2011 : 10:10:34
I think I agree with this. My symptoms pop up when I don't have anything happy to calm me down... and it's been like that for me lately, too. I've been forcing myself to go out and do fun things with my friends. I just want to work all the time because I feel obligated to.
Fun is definitely a big part of the "getting better" process though. I've been through this on 3 separate occasions, and the last two times, I didn't know it was TMS. |
| Teebox |
Posted - 09/15/2011 : 09:45:21
I came across a concept a few nights ago in one of Sarno's books (The Mindboby Perscription) called the rage/soothe ratio - basically, that symptoms can occur when there isn't enough soothing elements in a person's life to counteract stress. I think you are right... I may have to force myself to do more things that are selfishly fun to restore a better balance... Has anyone else ever thought about this rage/soothe ratio? |
| theghost |
Posted - 09/15/2011 : 09:34:56
I'm new to this whole TMS thing, but I think support from people who are in the same or similar situations is always a good thing. What works for me is to distract myself by doing things that are really fun. And making changes. Not big ones, just little ones. I almost lost my house to flooding last week, and my TMS was completely under control during the whole period of stress... the only thing that kept it in check was a positive attitude.
Perhaps your pain is getting worse because you expect sarno's readings to make it better and because they are not, you're getting frustrated. Frustration tends to prolong TMS. You will get better just like I will get better. Just keep a positive attitude. :)
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