| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| EmiliaC |
Posted - 05/09/2011 : 08:34:54
My mother has been hobbling around for the last 30 years with osteo arthritis in her knees. Most of our family life has centered around her knees and worrying about where she'll be able to walk and sit comfortably. We also know that certain things aren't possible. For instance, I'm getting married to an English man and am going to relocate permanently in the UK. I know she'll never be able to visit because of the long plane trip.
I often wonder if her pain hasn't been, at least partially, TMS for years. It's really mind blowing to think that this condition that has been controlling her and, in some ways, the whole family could have been avoided if she had learned to think psychologically(something she would NEVER do)but I'm beginning to think that it's true. I imagine there are people with the same amount of degeneration who don't have this kind of pain. My mom went to a doctor when her pain started (in her 40's) who told her that she was going to be in pain for the rest of her life. He told her to wait until she couldn't stand it and then get a knee replacement. She's always been too afraid of surgery to get the knee replacement so that hasn't happened. But I think the doctor put a curse on her in some ways because she's always clung to those words and believed them. And pain has ruined a good portion of her life.
As I stated in a previous post, I'm starting to get pains in my knees and stiffness as well. They move around and have no logic which makes me think TMS for sure. But my fear of ending up like my Mom is making my process of talking to my brain a little bit more challenging. I still have this fear clanging there that I'll end up like Mom, because I'm bound to end up like Mom. I think it's the same phenomenon as some men I've met who are convinced they won't outlive the age at which their father died(usually if the father died younger than expected) They are always shocked and relieved when they do.
What are you experiences and feelings about "inheriting" painful conditions from your parents? Has anyone had to overcome this? |
| 7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| golden_girl |
Posted - 05/09/2011 : 19:22:50
Oh and healingback:
he doesnt want to be [healed]. simple as
Surely this is the answer. I'm sure humans (often unwittingly) take suffering as punishment for what they might/should/could have done, for something they (rightly or wrongly) accept guilt for. So if he can't look outside the box (like my dad who would never contemplate the psychological versus the pathological, and those who resist in denial for their own reasons) - this we have also to accept, for our own sake. But we can see it.
"F.E.A.R.
Forgive Everyone And Remember
For Everything A Reason"
Ian Brown |
| golden_girl |
Posted - 05/09/2011 : 19:15:38
I'm not 100% on believing that every part of our body, having an ailment, points directly to an emotion (à la Louise Hayes for example) but I do believe language has a lot to with how we feel (à la Barbara Levine for example) so the fact that the doctor said to your mother about her knees: "to wait until she couldn't stand it" about her knees speaks volumes to me!
My knee pain is transient and I don't believe in it and it disappears. The other symptoms I have that affect, that I put weight into (so to speak!! Another thought...) for me, persist.
One of my best friends talked to me earlier (she's only 24) about having kids, and how she'd rather have boys so her daughters wouldn't end up like her (sure, she's loony, bless her, in her own way, but she's incredibly strong and beautiful and she just doesn't see it) and I KNOW I share traits with my mother and my sister, but in a 1000 ways that don't involve TMS (and perhaps some that do) I'm so different to both of them. We aren't our parents, and neither our siblings.
My father was "sick" about twice in his whole working life and built himself up into a wealthy, jet-setting, in control businessman. Almost the moment he was forced (with a shiny golden handshake mind you) into semi-retirement, he got heart disease (not that that is TMS), RSI, a bad back, aches, pains, a general life malaise, et al - and now he's on at least 20 different pills and painkillers and this, from a man who worked his whole life in pharmaceuticals. Pop a pill and you're better. Or not. Never mind the contra-indications for 3x pills. ANYWAY. His dad was ill at the end of his life - my dad surely will be. I can name you 10 ways in which my dad is a prime example for TMS, and it is only in me knowing of TMS, and attempting to deal with it at 29, that I believe I won't have my parents' pains when I'm their age...
"F.E.A.R.
Forgive Everyone And Remember
For Everything A Reason"
Ian Brown |
| healingback |
Posted - 05/09/2011 : 09:33:51
yes i no stress is tms... but its gone way beyond anything that could be healed, plus he doesnt want to be. simple as
This to shall pass.... |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 05/09/2011 : 09:27:37
Stress is TMS, it is the source of many ailments besides a sore back.
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
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| healingback |
Posted - 05/09/2011 : 09:24:44
unfortunately tom, he does, the fact that he cant walk, is half blind, stutters when he talks and is in a care home at 61... plus all the other mobility problems he does... i believe though that it was caused by stress, his son passing away will do it. - and not dealing with it.
This to shall pass.... |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 05/09/2011 : 09:16:17
quote:
Originally posted by healingback
...I know that my dad has MS and im scared on some level that i also may get it,..
I had an acquaintance who was DX'ed with MS, one day he said the docs said it wasn't MS. I asked him what they said he had, he said they didn't know. Maybe your dad didn't have MS.
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
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| healingback |
Posted - 05/09/2011 : 08:48:31
hi emiliac, i have read many people stories on here and alot of people are very suggestible (me included) i think its something that comes with our tms personalities.
With regards to our parents i definetely think the same can be said,I know that my dad has MS and im scared on some level that i also may get it, but if your focus on a negative outcome that is what you will get. Affirm to yourself that your knees are strong, you are not your mum, you are you, and you dont have believe your thoughts - at least that what darko tells me ;)
This to shall pass.... |
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