| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| lindaleyner |
Posted - 05/27/2010 : 14:58:19
hello there!
Iīm a 17-year-old girl from europe. Since I witnessed an accident (a guy fell in front of a train)last year Iīve been fighting wqith myself. First I had panic attacks..then hypochondriasis (health fears), then since octobre severe RSI (couldnīt type or writze without having severe pain; doctor said it would go away with ibuprofen or that I should cope with living with it. During this time my health phobia was quite easy to handle, almost non-existent. Then, after a very painful (mental and physical) search on the internet, I found the TMS approach from Sarno. I bought "TMP" and read it...now Iīm writing these sentences with little pain, nothing compared to what I used to have 4 weeks ago. But: My health phobia is there again!
Is it TMS related? Iīm having psychotherapy (helped me with rsi a lot, heīs very profesional and kept saying I could get better) but Iīm still at the beginning, thinking abaout early childhood and so on.
Is there a chance to get rid of the RSI (now Iīm having more pain .guess itīs the thinking about it) AND the hypochondriasis?
Iīm writing on a laptop, with bad ergonomics but I guess that has nothing to do with it..? Still struggling..
thanks
forgive my bad english, not a native speaker..
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| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| alexis |
Posted - 09/05/2010 : 09:09:14
quote:
Originally posted by lindaleyner
Well, I dont know..
When I got angry and show it, my parent always go on about how bad this is and etc. and make me feel a bit..ashamed.
Keep in mind that allowing yourself to feel anger and showing anger to others aren't the same thing. While it may be best in our cases to feel more of our anger, expressing it may be better off in private, or occasionally (in limited quantities) with select supportive friends, than showing it publicly or to its object or to people who may find the power of the anger upsetting to their own happiness.
You don't have to hide that you're upset, but sometimes it's helpful to give a heads up to family like "Yes, I'm upset right now, but I'll be ok in a couple of hours. I'm just heading out for a bit while I let things settle - don't worry, I'll be OK soon."
Then go out, take a walk or whatever and let yourself be pissed. Normally it will wear itself out soon enough. |
| lindaleyner |
Posted - 09/04/2010 : 06:23:42
TMS can be in very different part of the body, right?
Does anybody have experience with "tired" eyes?
Went to the ophtalmologist and he said my eyes are okay, they may be a bit tired from computer use. >But how is it that A LOT of people are up to 12 hours/a day in front of the computer and they are perfectly fine? So this makes me think its anohter TMS symptom.
What do you think? Face it, ergo continuing my normal computer use or rest? |
| Dave |
Posted - 08/20/2010 : 15:24:28
quote:
Originally posted by lindaleyner
Well, I dont know..
When I got angry and show it, my parent always go on about how bad this is and etc. and make me feel a bit..ashamed.
Try not to place such high importance on your parents' perceptions. They are a major ingredient in why you have symptoms in the first place.
I grew up in an environment where displaying one's emotions was not commonplace. Even now, if I show any anger or frustration about something, my parents see it as a bad thing. I should not "worry" or be "stressed out" because those are "bad" feelings. It is as if my parents dismiss my feelings. It is nothing against them, it is just how they are. Over time I have just learned to accept it. |
| marsha |
Posted - 08/20/2010 : 14:15:09
Linda,
Stop trying so hard. It seems that you are just fueling your anxiety . The more you work at making it go way the more power you give it.
Try and relax..give your self a break.
You are in pain and you are afraid..I do understand.
Stop trying..you will improve.
The more it is on and in your mind the stronger IT (pain and anxiety) becomes.
Good luck.
Marsha |
| lindaleyner |
Posted - 08/20/2010 : 07:05:50
Well, I dont know..
When I got angry and show it, my parent always go on about how bad this is and etc. and make me feel a bit..ashamed. |
| alexis |
Posted - 08/20/2010 : 05:59:30
quote:
Originally posted by lindaleyner
I donīt know..just 1 hour and then it hurts like hell makes me..sad.
Have you experimented with replacing a feeling of victimhood with allowing yourself to be angry? A core theory is that it's hard to be both sad/depressed and angry at the same time. |
| lindaleyner |
Posted - 08/20/2010 : 03:33:18
Ah, and now that I#ve begun to play the game I was playing when my "rsi" started, I notice hoe m< hand suddenly go cold, really cold!
What does that mean? |
| lindaleyner |
Posted - 08/19/2010 : 15:54:54
Everything is just so ****ing difficult.
I#ve been attacking my RSI with playing videogames etc. and it is definetly better.. BUT
Now my symptoms are:
-Dry eyes (ophtalmologist said its that)
- Alleregies? Rhinitis? My nose is full every night, so that I breathe out of my mouth and wake up with a sore throat.
A friend said thats an allergie from the tiny animals that are in one`s bed. And that I should buy a new, antiallergic mattress.
now I'm really down, I canīt sleep well because of this and I donīt want to take antihistaminics my whole life.
What did I do to deserve this whole ****?
I feel really miserable and I know that of no help.
Any tips? I need some encouraging to continue with this fight. I feel really powerless now..worn out...because I try with one thing (RSI) and something appears...and when that`s not soo bad, RSI is back.
17 and a whole bunch of "Chronic" "Lifelong" disorders :(
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| art |
Posted - 08/02/2010 : 05:55:21
quote:
Originally posted by lindaleyner
hi guys.
Iīm feeling really bad. The las time I wrote was before the exam, well it went well - B - and the oain during writing was better than I had expected. But on Monday my grandad died. First I was terribly sad and cried, but now Iīm confused. I donīt know what I am feeling - itīs like ...nothing? The only thing I feel is fear - of diseases. In the moment itīs diabetes even tough I had a blood test a month ago and everything was ok. Iīm driving myself crazy with every little thing I notice, like "how much did I drink today?" and so on. And since my grandpa was in the hospital, I have a viral pharyngitis that wonīt go away. Im feeling a bit thirsty, but I donīt know if its the fear or something. Iīm so afraid of getting that disease...because itīs uncurable. I always have fear of uncurable dieases... I beleive itīs something from my mind to cover what I am feeling about the loss of my grandpa, but how do I release that? I feel completely lost.
What is that for a life? Even people who are seriously ill donīt fear that much. But I am afraid of becoming an diabetic because of what? I donīt know..I donīt want to be ill and I think my mind is choosing that disease because it is not to cure, itīs so hopeless and you have to change your life - in many ways - like food, sport, traveling etc.
but I canīt live my life with that fear every day. And i canīt get my blood checked every week or so.
I ordered "The Divided Mind" from Sarno today, but it will take 3 weeks to arrive, so anyone has an advice for now?
Tanks.
Lots of respect for you Linda. At your age I could barely tie my shoes. You've got a tremendous amount of insight.
I tend to go at things practically. As to the diabetes, realize that your fear of it is probably nearly as disabling as the illness itself, especially in the short to medium term If you take care of yourself, work out, eat well, maintain a good weight, your chances of becoming diabetic are small. Your chances of getting it in your teens or 20's are very small indeed.
But it's not the illness per se. We hypochondriacs (yes, takes one to know one :>) seem to have a need to worry. Treat that as a distraction, just another TMS manifestation. It also helps me to be philosophical. We all die eventually, life is short, enjoy it while I can etc. etc.
You're 17 years old. That's a wonderful thing. |
| lindaleyner |
Posted - 08/01/2010 : 15:24:32
Iīm trying. I played the game for 2 hours now, telling myself I cannot hurt myself. My hands hurt like hell but I hope tomorrow they`ll be better. I have to lose the pain of injuring myself if I use my hands too much. I still notice this fear is there... Any tips?
Does anybody knows if Bshuhan is still on the board? His story impressed me a lot. |
| lindaleyner |
Posted - 07/30/2010 : 03:18:35
Well, I have now 5 weeks holiday and bought a new pc game to celebrate it. Itīs an RPG (you have to play with keyboard WASD and mouse) and really fun. The only problem I have is that after a while, I start to feel pain in my right hand (mosueclick finger, where I have a ganglion for about 2 years now, so I donīt think its because of this) and a bit in the left hand. I keep telling myself itīs nothing but then I start to think that I am playing on a laptop and that Iīm not used to play for I paused since octobre etc. but I have to say I played on a laptop 2 years ago or so and there was never any discomfort.
I really want to play whenever I want and not when it is not hurting too much. I think itīs an success that I am playing at all but..I donīt know..just 1 hour and then it hurts like hell makes me..sad.
So, what to do? Continuing with playing through the pain? Take rest? I`ve got 5 weeks, so thereīs time to do something about it. |
| Dave |
Posted - 07/08/2010 : 08:58:52
quote:
Originally posted by lindaleyner
... I beleive itīs something from my mind to cover what I am feeling about the loss of my grandpa, but how do I release that? I feel completely lost.
This comment is completely buried in your long message which is focused on fear of disease. However, this is the most important part of your message, and you should try to build on that and ignore the rest.
There is no magic that will "release" feelings buried in your unconscious, but the good news is, it is not necessary to do that. All it takes is to accept that the symptoms and fear are there to distract you from those feelings.
Your obsession with disease is just another symptom. Your unconscious mind is trying to protect you from uncovering buried feelings that it deems too dangerous to experience. Try to find those feelings. You don't have to be successful, just try. Focus on how you might really feel about the passing of your grandpa, including "forbidden" thoughts that you might be embarassed about, or unwilling to accept.
As for the fear, please realize that you are a healthy 17-year old girl. You have been checked by medical doctors who have found no cause for alarm. The fear that you are experiencing is not rational -- it is anxiety. You need to try harder to refocus your energy. Accept the anxiety. Remind yourself that you are a healthy 17-year old girl and you have nothing to be worried about. Then instead of obsessing about diseases, train yourself to think about your emotional health. It may take some time but if you practice this repeatedly, you will ultimately recondition yourself to feel less anxiety and live a healthier life. |
| lindaleyner |
Posted - 07/08/2010 : 05:50:40
hi guys.
Iīm feeling really bad. The las time I wrote was before the exam, well it went well - B - and the oain during writing was better than I had expected. But on Monday my grandad died. First I was terribly sad and cried, but now Iīm confused. I donīt know what I am feeling - itīs like ...nothing? The only thing I feel is fear - of diseases. In the moment itīs diabetes even tough I had a blood test a month ago and everything was ok. Iīm driving myself crazy with every little thing I notice, like "how much did I drink today?" and so on. And since my grandpa was in the hospital, I have a viral pharyngitis that wonīt go away. Im feeling a bit thirsty, but I donīt know if its the fear or something. Iīm so afraid of getting that disease...because itīs uncurable. I always have fear of uncurable dieases... I beleive itīs something from my mind to cover what I am feeling about the loss of my grandpa, but how do I release that? I feel completely lost.
What is that for a life? Even people who are seriously ill donīt fear that much. But I am afraid of becoming an diabetic because of what? I donīt know..I donīt want to be ill and I think my mind is choosing that disease because it is not to cure, itīs so hopeless and you have to change your life - in many ways - like food, sport, traveling etc.
but I canīt live my life with that fear every day. And i canīt get my blood checked every week or so.
I ordered "The Divided Mind" from Sarno today, but it will take 3 weeks to arrive, so anyone has an advice for now?
Tanks. |
| Gibbon |
Posted - 06/26/2010 : 07:30:46
My own opinion:
With so much stress going on at the moment (family stress, exam stress, as well as underlying anxiety etc etc) it's unlikely that you're going to see immediate improvements. Indeed, expecting that you will get better is possibly going to be counter-productive, if you start beating yourself up about still not being better. Until you can start to deal with all the stress and anxiety in your life, then the TMS will remain. In the short term therefore - ie. exams it is absolutely crucial that you talk to your teachers about this. there are all sorts of special provision that they can do - up to and including providing a scribe to actually write for you. It is also important to do this because if you underperform due to a condition/reason that the teachers are aware about in advance then they can make special dispensation - but if you only tell them afterwards or try and soldier through then they will not be able to do anything.
Now this support will just be a crutch - it will not make you better - but as a holding measure, whilst you try and come to terms with the various stress in your life, then it's a worthwhile strategy. Remember, I was barely able to hold a pen to write, and yet i can now write and type for hours at a time. But I didn't recover until i'd sorted my head out. RSI is absolutely not a life-condition. It will get better.
Check out the TMS website: www.rsi-backpain.co.uk |
| catspine |
Posted - 06/25/2010 : 21:59:32
Linda I understand you're overwhelmed right now but here is what you can do to slow the fear down :
The reason the fear is getting a hold on you is because you think about what may or may not happen in the near or distant future. The truth is right now nobody knows if it will get chronic or not so it's useless to think about that and recoveries stories are legions. By the time you come upon that answer you'll probably have learned enough to overcome the whole problem and what's creating it . Focus on a good outcome to think about and stick on to it as to a flashlight in the darkness even if you cannot see an improvement in the pain. It's not the result that must condition your approach, it's the thinking that should.
As soon as you catch yourself thinking about your wrist or your fears just turn it off , don't go there ,stop , replace it by the opposite of it.
Same thing with the what ifs: what if it does stay and so on? and what if it doesn't then? Ride the wave but don't let it drown you. there is plenty on this forum to show you how to deal with fear and come out of it so that you can function. run a search on the subject and it will pop up. |
| lindaleyner |
Posted - 06/25/2010 : 14:42:39
Itīs not only the exam - it is everything.
My grandpa is dying (heīs in coma after 3 heart attac#ks) and my mum is going to visit him (he lives in america) - so that i am going to be alone with my dad. I donīt want him to die AND I must admit that I donīt want her to leave, either. Itīs very egoistic...
And then the hand pain thing...i was very positive but now the fear about this becoming "chronic" is overwhelming. Iīm sorry for being so annoying :( |
| catspine |
Posted - 06/25/2010 : 13:59:11
Give the fire its share, go for the exam, pain or no pain and do what you can ,relax , it's only a test...
Let the person in charge know that you have a problem with your wrist and ask for any options. if that doesn't work, compensate by being better somewhere else : I got my own degree anyway with a really bad score in algebra ...
If you fail it then try again later I'm sure an other chance will come up . Life is full of exams...
But if you flunk or if you succeed and the pain disappears you'll know where it came from and will know what to do for next time. Go for it Linda.
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| tennis tom |
Posted - 06/25/2010 : 10:39:12
LL, Take Dave's advice, his is the best!
A practical solution to your predicament would be to learn to write left-handed, I dredged up an old post of mine:
If it's any help, I had excruciating pain that sounds much like yours, about ten years ago, before I found Sarno/TMS. I went to my family doctor who sent me to a neurolgist. He hooked my up to some contraption that measures electrical nerve impulses, an EMG, I think and deduced pinched nerve C6/C7 vertebrae. He told me to quit playing tennis for a month or "I would be seeing him for surgery".
He prescribed a contraption to do neck traction for an hour a day. I basicly sat quietly with this gizmo under my chin hung from a door to stretch my neck out. It was very boring, a form of Western Meditation, as Deepak would say. I busied myself by reading Dan Millmans's book, the "Warrior Athlete" and learned how to write left handed, practicing a tip from Millman's book to learn to do things with the other side of your brain.
I started playing tennis again cautiously after about two weeks. Today, my shoulder is as good as new. I have a really great serve, it is my weapon.
Thank God I didn't do any x-rays back then, who knows what that could have turned up. Your shoulder sounds like mine did and I just wanted to encourage you that it could be as good as new again. I had to hold my arm over my head while walking because the pain was so bad in certain positions.
Edited by - tennis tom on 02/16/2005 16:03:23
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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| Dave |
Posted - 06/25/2010 : 09:19:21
quote:
Originally posted by lindaleyner
I know about TMS, about the pain being psychogenic, but still, it is worse now.
Accept it.
quote:
Next Tuesday, I have to write an exam in german (with pen) about 6 pages. Iīm afraid...
Why are you afraid? Don't say it is because your hand hurts too much to write. That is circular reasoning. Why does your hand hurt? What are you really afraid of? What is this hand pain distracting you from?
If you let the fear of the pain control you, it is serving its purpose, and it will continue. Dig deeper and figure out where it is coming from. Perhaps the fear is really that of not living up to expectations (your own or others) when it comes to this exam. Or perhaps the exam is just a smokescreen for what you really lack confidence about. Whatever it is, you don't realize it. Try to find it. |
| lindaleyner |
Posted - 06/25/2010 : 06:09:05
There is a big problem there. Knowing seems not enough for me.
I know about TMS, about the pain being psychogenic, but still, it is worse now. Next Tuesday, I have to write an exam in german (with pen) about 6 pages. Iīm afraid because my hand is hurting more than ever. I know this is TMS, but how can I control it for the exam? Itīs soon, so I donīt have much time. |
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