| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Sara |
Posted - 01/14/2005 : 18:12:11
I have decided I need to see a psychotherapist. How do I go about finding the right one? What specific questions should I ask him/her? I feel I definitely need an outlet at this point and I need someone who can help me dig deeper into my emotions.
Thanks,
Sara |
| 7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 01/18/2005 : 23:26:41
Michele,
The sex therapist dressed like that doesn't sound very professional - or maybe she is a Pro. |
| Sara |
Posted - 01/18/2005 : 17:06:14
Hey all,
Thank you for the advice. Personally I think the people here are great.
As I wrote in another post to TMS Pain/MRosenthal I am also planning to go and see Dr. Schecter. I believe in TMS, but for some reason have not been able to fully apply it to my own situation. I have been told I am hypermobile and my ligaments are not holding me together properly. For some reason I keep going back to that despite not wanting to. Unfortunately it seems to make sense to me, but at the same time I honestly can't believe my body would fail me in this way.
I have also had a few lightbulb moments which keep me coming back to TMS. In 1995 I ran a marathon and about a week before it I woke with a terrible burning sensation throughout my lower back. I did run the marathon and while running, low and behold, it was not my back that hurt, but my knee. Classic TMS! After the marathon I was very sore. The knee pain went away, but my back pain came back and has never left.
At the time I had just broken up a relationship that had lasted 7 years. I broke up with him because I had met someone else (now my husband). It was stressful and I know that was my trigger. My main sticking point however is my pubic bone. It just has me worried which I know is perpetuating the situation and has prevented me from being able to completely accept TMS for myself.
So, with that being said, I am going to the doctor so I can play his hopeful words over and over in my head. I am planning on going next month and will then find myself a therapist.
Michele, if your therapist makes you uncomfortable then you absolutely need to go to someone else.
Sara |
| Hilary |
Posted - 01/18/2005 : 16:21:31
Michele,
Yeah, therapy IS all about you... and that's the great thing about it. Never feel guilty for trying to find good help for yourself. If more people did, the world would probably be a much happier place!
Trust your guts with your therapist. The very least you should look for in a therapist is someone who you like and feel comfortable with. You're doing the right thing!
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| Michele |
Posted - 01/18/2005 : 16:12:55
Good luck finding the right psychotherapist Sara!
I've been in therapy with a woman for several months to help in dealing with child sexual abuse. She's a sex therapist, but I've never thought our problems were about sex. She talks mainly about co-dependency, and has pushed us into one group therapy session, and now wants me to join a 13-week women's group for co-dependency and love addiction. I'm not very happy with her right now, and I don't feel it's helping as far as identifying stuck emotions.
On the other hand, I met a counselor last week who knows of Sarno and his work, and seemed very knowledgeable about how to identify emotions and deal with them. I told my husband I'd like to start seeing her so I can get help with the TMS, and he wasn't happy. Even made a snide remark about "it's all about me." He thinks I should be talking about sex, and believe me, that's the last thing on my mind! Then again, I'm fearful of going to ONE MORE THERAPIST and in a couple years having to find another one. I went to the sex therapist kicking and screaming and VOWING it would be the last time. She also makes me uncomfortable, i.e. her seductive dress (low pants showing a thong), high heel boots, very petite and pretty, and I feel like a big, fat cow when I walk in her office! I also felt she was distracted the last time we went, and for $95 an hour, my therapist better be paying attention! Yeah, I need to move on.
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| n/a |
Posted - 01/15/2005 : 06:55:28
I agree with Hilary about CBT, Sara. She describes my experience also. The therapist was not interested in helping me uncover what I was angry and depressed about. She worked very much to a set down formula that seemed designed to supply me with ways to avoid my pain and feelings, which certainly was not what I needed.
As for helping me find ways to overcome my physical pain - she had none. Some printed handouts she gave me had the word 'thought' scored out and she had written 'pain' in its place. For example - 'When a negative thought surfaces, you can learn to deal with it in a different way.' She just substituted pain for negative thought. She had no helpful strategies to deal with mind/body conditions at all.
Apparently, CBT can be very useful in the treatment of OCD, phobias and addictions, but for TMS - I'd avoid it.
Psychotherapy was a completely different experience - I can not thank my therapist enough. Her help was invaluable. I'm not sure what qualifications one needs to have to be able to call oneself a psychotherapist where you live, Sara, but here in Britain, I think, they have degrees in psychology as a base, then train as therapists in a variety of ways. It's important to get someone who not only believes in a mind/body connection (and all the ones I spoke to do), but is interested in the treatment of it. I'm assuming here that you do not have access to a TMS trained therapist - I didn't. Had there been one in my area I would definitely have tried her/him first. If that is the case, I think that a good pointer would be how they react when you discuss Dr Sarno's work. My therapist had not heard of him or TMS, but was interested enough to read MBP and I got some very positive feedback from her - she felt, as she put it, he was definitely on to something. Reading the book helped her work out how best to help me.
Last, but not least, as Hilary and Jen have already mentioned - get someone you feel comfortable with - someone who makes you feel safe.You'll open up better if you like and trust your therapist and the more you can be open - the better they can help you. I found myself telling my therapist things that I haven't told another living soul - a good one can get right at a person's core being.
Best wishes
Anne |
| Hilary |
Posted - 01/15/2005 : 04:48:15
Sara, that's a great decision. I'm looking for another therapist right now, and I think Sarno covers what to look for in his work. You should definitely like the person you're going to see, and feel that you can work with them. Ask some pretty direct questions about their feelings about the mind-body connection and what they feel about the role anger plays in the process. Ask if they know of Sarno and if they've read his books, and what they think of him. I've realized that anger plays such a huge role in my life that I really need to feel confident that whoever I work with is going to be able to work with me on that. As Jen says, shop around and find someone you feel happy with.
Jen, can you explain why you think CBT is the best? Others have posted about this before, and somebody here said that CBT can actually end up doing more harm than good with TMS sufferers. I did a little CBT therapy years ago and found it really unhelpful, because the therapist wasn't interested in discussing my past in any great detail, or allowing me to discuss my anger in depth. This in itself made me feel incredibly angry, though I didn't really realize that I was justified in those feelings at the time. CBT seemed to me more about finding new ways to think about things and changing my behaviour, and I can see how that would be useful for some people, but not for TMS people who are dealing with deeply suppressed rage. I found more "traditional" talk therapy to be considerably more helpful.
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| jen |
Posted - 01/14/2005 : 18:45:34
Hi Sara!
Congrats on your decision! I'm in long-term psychotherapy and it was the best decision of my life!
The first thing you want to look for is a Ph.D and a license in your state. Next, you may want to ask about what type of therapy they use, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is best. Also, ask for the gender you feel most comfortable with, or try both if you are unsure. Shop around. See who you feel comfortable with, who feels "right" to you. It's all about the relationship so feeling like you can work with the person is key.
Good luck!!
jen |
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