| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| guej |
Posted - 09/03/2009 : 08:58:19
I'm sure this topic has been beaten to death on this forum, but I wanted to ask the question with a slightly different slant. From what I'm reading in the books and on this forum, and in evaluating in my circumstances, fear of the pain is a huge component of TMS, and certainly weighs heavily on my mind every day. I have constant pain, so it's not a matter of fearing a flare up or trying to avoid an activity that I fear will bring on pain again. I know that chronic pain is "junk on the brain" for me. It's not alerting me to something physically wrong, or that I've done something to myself.
The problem I am having is when my pain starts to build up, it means I won't be able to do certain day to day things that I need to get done. For example, by midday my pain starts to get worse, and now I'm in a panic. Not because I think I've hurt myself, but because the more pain I'm in, the less likely it is I'll be able to go food shopping, cook dinner, take my kids to where they need to be, get a good night's rest. I've learned to ignore the pain in that I no longer run to doctors or PTs trying to figure it out or physically fix. I do challenge it (when I have the energy), and just do things anyway because I have to, but I still dread it because of how it limits my life, and I have a feeling its self-perpetuating. This is, of course, where pain meds come in. By midday I pop a pill. I wish I didn't have to, but I need to work, take care of kids, etc., and getting some pain relief allows me to function on a daily basis. While popping a pill helps me function, I feel like I'm not learning to ignore my pain, and thus, it continues.
Any advice? I've overcome my fear of exercising because I now know I'm not "hurting" myself. I still have pain while exercising, but no worse than when I don't do anything. I'm just struggling with ignoring pain, knowing that as it increases, I can do less and less. Thanks, and sorry if this topic is beating a dead horse. It just seems that a lot of what I read is about ignoring the fear that certain activities will bring on a pain episode. I don't mean to minimize anyone's suffering on this forum, but I wish that was the point I was at instead of trying to break a constant cycle of non-stop pain! Everyone's circumstances are unique... |
| 6 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| guej |
Posted - 09/07/2009 : 11:46:49
Skizzik: I've given up on the perfect mom thing, but I still need to function through life! More pain means more difficulty in doing anything. I'm so done with laying on my couch. I did that for months and it certainly didn't make the pain go away, and in fact, made me pretty depressed. The more I get out and start to have some semblance of my pre-pain life, the better I feel mentally. With the help of medication, I'm probably at 50% of where I was. I don't think I want to be 100% as active as I was before the pain set in anyway, but I'd sure like to have little or no pain, and not need meds. I buy dinners a lot more often, and my house doesn't look anything as organized as it used to, and I'm getting more comfortable with all of that...yet the pain persists...bummer. |
| skizzik |
Posted - 09/06/2009 : 22:29:35
quote:
Originally posted by guej
the more pain I'm in, the less likely it is I'll be able to go food shopping, cook dinner, take my kids to where they need to be, get a good night's rest.
hmmmmmmmmm......
just wondering, do you have to be "the best" at all those activities? The perfect mom, wife?
Not trying to lead you anywhere, just some validation on my own personality discoveries.
Sorry your'e going thru the medication delema, I think every TMS'r goes/or is going thru that conflict.
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| pandamonium |
Posted - 09/03/2009 : 15:00:34
Dave is totally right, it's the shifting of thoughts to the emotional realm that gradually helps reduce the pain because then the pain is not being a distraction any more, ie it's failing.
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A beginner's guide to psychology: If it's not your mum's fault.... it's your dad's... |
| LuvtoSew |
Posted - 09/03/2009 : 14:30:06
I believe at least for me fear is the hardest thing to release, most people suffer from fear not only physical, but money fears, fear of the future, etc., so don't feel alone, this is one of the
hardest battles to overcome.
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| guej |
Posted - 09/03/2009 : 12:19:18
Thanks Dave. I think you hit the nail on the head that it's the act of shifting the focus to the emotional, that over time, defeats the brain's strategy. I thought I was thinking psychological because I journaled in the morning and read the Sarno books etc. I realized that I wasn't shifting the focus when the pain actually came, so honestly, I'm not sure I was carrying out Sarno's basic instructions! I thought I was, but I don't think I really understood it. Honest to God, I love his books, but the information on this forum is so much more specific and helpful sometimes.
So, for someone in constant pain, it's not always as if there's a recent triggering event that's necessarily behind the pain. For me, I think it was an accumulation over time that came to a head, and then my body developed the conditioned response to the initial intermitent pain...thus the chronic pain sydnrome. So, do you just reach into your long laundry list of issues in your journal notebook, and throw a few out there whenever you become aware the pain is intensifying? I think what you are saying is that it doesn't matter necessarily what you choose to think about, but moreso, the fact that you are focusing on issues that you think are buried or stressing you out. Is that the right interpretation? Maybe someone should right a book interpreting Sarno's books! |
| Dave |
Posted - 09/03/2009 : 11:28:41
quote:
Originally posted by guej
...I'm just struggling with ignoring pain, knowing that as it increases, I can do less and less...
Seems you are not quite at the point where you are truly ignoring the pain. You still have the fear of the pain increasing. Perhaps you are substituting fear of "not getting things done" for the fear of the pain itself.
All you can really do is work hard on the reconditioning process. When you become aware that the pain has intensified, take a break from whatever you are doing, breathe deeply, and think about psychological issues. Try to uncover emotions that you might be repressing -- things going on in your life that you might be avoiding, or not appreciating the full impact of. Convince yourself that the pain is just a signal that you are running away from some emotions, so try to uncover and face those emotions.
Note, I said "try." It doesn't really matter if you figure it out. It is the act of shifting your thoughts to the emotional realm that is important. You are reconditioning yourself to face your emotions rather than fear the pain. This won't make the pain magically disappear but each time you do it, you are making progress. Over time, the pain should fade.
Despite the pain, do your best to do what you need to do anyway and fight through it. This is equally if not more important than thinking psychological. You must do your best to reinforce the idea that the pain is not going to distract you from your daily activities.
It's not easy, but take a long-term view and don't be discouraged. |
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