| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Hilary |
Posted - 01/07/2005 : 11:37:11
I stumbled across this forum this afternoon and have been reading your posts in fascination for the last few hours! I wanted to introduce myself as I'm sure I'll be coming here very often from now on.
I'm newly familiar with Dr Sarno's work, having come down with a crippling bout of lower back pain four months ago - the very month I moved back here to the UK after 10 years away in New York. I spent the first three months self-diagnosing with a disc problem due to coughing (bronchitis) earlier in the year. When I stumbled across Sarno, I was forced to start looking at the emotional side of things. The move back to the UK was a HUGE move for me, but I'd entirely ignored that fact and was doing my best to "carry on as normal" until the back pain brought me up short.
Like many people here I recognized myself immediately in Sarno's personality description: quick to anger, anxious, highly competitive, perfectionist, an expert in hiding and repressing strong emotions in an attempt to be loved by the world! The other thing I recognized was a 11-year history of unexplained, odd physical symptoms: continuous dizziness, a spacy feeling in my head, and muscle "itching" (I can't think of any other way to describe it - a weird itching feeling beneath the skin).
My psychiatrist in New York diagnosed depression and anxiety disorder and put me on zoloft which helped my emotional state enormously, but did little to ease the physical symptoms. I also did 8 years of therapy which, again, helped me to understand myself but didn't really do much for the symptoms. My therapist always told me that my symptoms were caused by anxiety, which I really agreed with on an intellectual level - but the frustrating, infuriating part of it was that knowing that never really made the symptoms go away! I was really reassured when Dr Sarno addresses this issue directly in his books. Looking back, I think I worked up a ton of anger at my shrink for repeatedly telling me that my symptoms were caused by anxiety, but not telling me what to do about them.
Over the years - depending on how desperate I've been - I've also consulted the usual litany of "helpers" - osteopaths, chiropractors, polarity therapists and massage therapists, all of whom diagnosed me with something different. Well, I guess that's what they're paid to do.
Anyway, the only diagnosis that has ever made sense to me is Sarno's. I feel like I'm still new to this as I've only been reading the books for the last month. The first day after I read "The MindBody Prescription" I felt on top of the world and was almost completely pain-free for 24 hours; then the pain started to creep back in. But holding on to that memory has given me a lot of faith. I have definitely started to notice improvements. I find that I have moments of great doubt and fear, when I get caught up in moments of panic, "what if this doesn't work" and focus on the pain. I am determined not to get discouraged when the pain comes back. I am still very dizzy, but "Mindbody" has helped me to believe that I can also start to use the same techniques on that symptom too. I have been dizzy for such a long time it's hard to believe that anything can help, but I'm feeling more positive about it than I have for some time.
Thanks for listening!
Hilary |
| 7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Carol |
Posted - 01/08/2005 : 13:58:41
Welcome Hilary.
As you have already seen, you have found a community of people who share your personality type, and physical responses to same. The day I found this site I sat at my computer and cried. Finally people I could talk to who understood!
Since dizziness is on of your main TMS equivalents, be sure to visit the string titled "dizziness", started by Laura. You will find some people on that string who have experienced the same thing, and at least one person (me), who has totally beaten it. I also have back pain, and am still struggling with that.
Best of luck to you, and please keep us posted on your progress. And stop thinking of time frames. The more you expect success within a certain time period the more you won't get it!
Carol |
| Hilary |
Posted - 01/08/2005 : 04:10:01
Thanks so much for your replies. I am really SO glad to have found this forum. I'm sticking with the suggestions I find here - reading the books every day, journalling and being patient. Being patient is NOT one of my strong points - that seems to be an issue for many of us! After reading the Sarno books, I was starting to think that I "should" be further along than I am at four weeks. I know that he specifically says not to measure your progress by anyone else's, but that kind of time information immediately triggers my competitive (and anxious) side.
It is a big relief to know that people here understand this confusing and frustrating syndrome. I am tired of being told "it's just stress" or even worse, "you need to listen to your body". No, I don't need to listen to my body - that's the last thing I need to do - I need to listen to my feelings!
Hilary |
| n/a |
Posted - 01/08/2005 : 02:14:18
Welcome back to the UK, Hilary. I'm sure that there are proportionally as many TMS sufferers here as there are in America - hardly any of them have found this board yet though.
As you have read past posts you will know how common your experience is. Apart from moving countries, I could have been reading about myself just after I first read The Mindbody Prescription, in what you describe.
You'll find that most (but by no means all) of us who post here have found recovery to be a gradual process.
Best wishes
Anne |
| lobstershack |
Posted - 01/07/2005 : 23:27:08
Hilary,
Hi! I'm new on the board as well. We're in this fight together! I'd say the hardest part of the healing process is trying to not focus on how long it will take. I'm still struggling a bit with that--although it's getting better--we must be patient.
Seth |
| jeffrey |
Posted - 01/07/2005 : 17:03:38
Hi Hilary,
I am a newbie to this as well and I am coming to grips with dealing my emotions. Please don't be afraid to vent your feelings here, the fine folks here completely understand your situation. I wish you good luck, although a rocky road, it is your life to grab.
Jeff |
| Mobius |
Posted - 01/07/2005 : 16:37:20
Great post Hilary and welcome to the Forum. It sounds like you are a typical TMS sufferer. The main thing about this syndrome is that you must be patient and not expect instant results. Everyone is different. Although our conscious minds grasp the Sarno concept quite easily, it takes some time for this information to filter down to the unconscious. For some folks this process may just take a few weeks but longer for others and what works for me is to read the Sarno books everyday without fail for about 30 minutes or so and keep it up until your mind becomes saturated with the information so that it can start to seep down into the unconscious mind which started all this trouble in the first place. I make it a priority to force myself to think psychological the minute I start experiencing the pain and I do this by picking out some emotional problem like anger at someone, some deep-seated problem that has history behind it, something I'm presently worried about, etc, but the point is to know in advance what psychological thing you are going to switch to when the pain starts instead of flailing around to think of something that is bothering you. Just my thoughts. Good luck. Mobius |
| Laura |
Posted - 01/07/2005 : 15:50:52
Hilary,
Welcome to the TMS forum. I read your symptoms with great interest, specifically the "anxiety," "dizziess" and "muscle itching." I go through periods where my skin itches and I've never been able to figure it out. While on a family vacation last week, I kept itching this one spot on my arm for no apparent reason, until it started to bleed.
It sounds like you, like many of the rest of us, have stumbled across Dr. Sarno's work and figured out that this was the only thing that fit. That's what happened to me (read my posts on dizziness). You will find that this forum is a safe place to seek refuge and get questions answered. There are so many other people who are experiencing the same things we are.
Good luck to you and, again, welcome!
Laura
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