| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| j_vance |
Posted - 03/06/2009 : 18:57:42
Hello all,
I will try to explain this as efficiently as possible:
Short history, dealt with TMS representing itself as hand/arm/neck pain for 3 or 4 years, then developed panic disorder which I view as at least an extremely close cousin to TMS in terms of it's function/methods to "cure" it. I have gotten a great hold on my panic attack situation and it doesn't run my life.
Alas, I am a classic TMS personality/mentality.. extremely sensitive, problems with anxiety, introverted, etc. I have also made huge strides in my pain/TMS issues as I rarely ever have pain anymore, lift weights (to a certifiably 'hardcore' degree) 3 days a week with no pain. Life has gotten a lot better.
Very recently stress has increased, a massive life change has occurred (amicable end to a 5 year relationship and thus moving out). And one of my more perplexing problems has cropped up.
I feel extremely shameful to admit that the first experience I ever had with any sort of psychosomatic issue was due to a "bad-trip" i.e. using drugs. During a very traumatic experience on drugs when I was WAY too young, I felt this incredibly disorienting buzzing, tingling, numbness on my skin. It was as if the nerve endings in my epidermis has been "slowed down" and set on fire. My sensations were very delayed and inaccurate and it is a very strange feeling over all.
I noticed some months after the incident that I could actually trigger this feeling at will, literally. Unfortunately, when I would, I would again become afraid of it, and then wouldn't be able to "stop thinking about it". I think everyone here knows how impossible it is to STOP thinking about something your mind views as a threat or a problem. Thus I'd get into a loop, and neurotically flip the sensation off and on again for days until I either forgot about it or became exhausted.
Over the years it has never caused any significant problem. I TRULY chalked it up to my brain having a funny crossed wire here and there, and the more I learned about obsessive thought patterns/anxiety/panic it became even less threatening.
Alas, again, right now I am experiencing it. It is amazing the speed to which I can conjur it, even though I "hate" the feeling, because it is uncomfortable, makes things difficult physically (only small mundane things however.. if I had to actually run for my life or do something important, my 'normal' sensations would take back over). I will go to scratch my ear.. and due to my mental hyper activity, I will think OH HEY my brain is screwed up and I'm a piece of **** person deep down so I don't deserve to be calm and at ease.. better queue up that buzzy feeling and freak out about it!
I am simultaneously amazed by this dysfunction, but honestly scared and need any reassurance or advice anyone can give. I feel like this is just another manifestation of my personality, but I am legitimately afraid of this growing into other paranoias/hallucinations or the like. I have received plenty of counseling since I was about 19 so I am not afraid to do that if necessary.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far,
my thanks to all the great info and people on this board.
/j
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| 2 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| j_vance |
Posted - 03/07/2009 : 00:05:48
Thanks HellNY, yes I will PM you. That is definitely succinct advice and seems to fall into the classic "simple, not easy" category.
Also, upon re-reading the post, I wanted to apologize to the board if it seemed inappropriate due to the mention of the drug-incident being the initial catalyst. That really was extraneous information, because that incident was like 10 years ago. The process of switching it on, becoming afraid of it, thus triggering it more and more is all in the mind, and seems to fit right in with TMS and other somatic-type disorders.
I just wanted to clarify that. Thanks again!
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| HellNY |
Posted - 03/06/2009 : 21:24:29
This exact same thing happened to me, but not with drugs. The burning sensations and how you describe it, and how the mind can activate it. Yuo can PM me if you want. The trick is to not be afraid of it since, as you know, you can control it. You should recognize there is no real reason to make it happen, so you need to just relax and stop doing it. This involves stopping any emotional connection to it, and also stopping that part of your mind that "craves" creating the sensation because of its novelty. Focus on creating positive things in your life.
The Mind is the Builder. You get what you build. |
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