| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| holms |
Posted - 01/21/2009 : 05:03:15
Hello
My name is Alexander I am from UKRAINE
I have TMS for about 6 years . My simptoms are rectal ., prostate pain palvic flor ets.
There are anxiety -pain cicle , when anxiety is high the pain is low and vice versa. So as far as I understan the pain is just reaction to high amount of anxiety. So \I guess my question is how get rid of anxiety, how not to dream and not to absessed. I am so tierd of this , always tensed if not then anxies
Read all Sarno books , Amir, ets , jornaled, went for a year to pshycologist, than half a year in the groop nothing realy help
thank you |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Cee |
Posted - 02/04/2009 : 07:59:24
Hi Everyone,
I did read parts of that book about 20 years ago.....sounds like it is time to reread!
Thank You,
Cee
Cee |
| winnieboo |
Posted - 02/02/2009 : 19:29:44
I had previously listened to a Claire Weekes CD, but I just bought and finished "Hope and Help..." By far, it offers the simplest explanations and solutions for what TMSers go through. Fit me to a "T." Wish I'd read it sooner. Would highly recommend it. Thanks to all who referenced it. |
| marsha |
Posted - 02/02/2009 : 13:00:59
Cee,
I taught art in the public schools for 30 years. It was the best job in the world and I got much more back than I ever gave.
Good luck..
Marsha |
| severson |
Posted - 02/02/2009 : 11:22:59
Cee, have you read "hope and help for your nerves" by Claire Weekes. Their is a great explanation of nervous exhaustion in there, helped me tremendously. Remember, try to think psychological instead of physical and take your foot of the stress response accelerator. |
| Cee |
Posted - 02/02/2009 : 10:55:46
Thank you both so much! I just told the school I use to teach in I could Substitute teach so we will see what happens. I am so tired today and anxious......keep thinking things like "oh my iron level must be low again.....maybe really low......" or "something else must be off for me to feel this tired....." I know you understand so thanks for listening and I welcome any and all advice!
Cee |
| fadoozle |
Posted - 02/01/2009 : 21:45:08
Hi Cee, I can really relate to the lifelong struggle with anxiety. A technique that is helping me at the moment is probably going to sound really weird, but here goes: whenever I feel the "what if" voice, I switch to a sentence starter: "I wonder if...". Then it is about curiosity, not worry. I refuse to continue a "what if" thought. Doing this distracts me from and dissipates the obsessive thought. My new mantra generally is, get in touch with your five senses and have an objective experience in the moment. No judgmental language, like "should" "have to", etc. Maybe this is what the cognitive psych people get paid lots of money to tell people to do...and it may sound strange, but it really helps me. That, and trying to choose one thing to do at a time.
As for perfectionism...when I taught 6th grade I started to think I could be a writer and started reading all these books about writing...I think it was "Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamott where I found a quote that I've also adapted for myself. The original is "I am free to write the worst crap in the world." It's meant to turn off the internal editor to get the creative juices flowing...but I have adapted it to whatever I need it to be. The mantra here for me becomes, just do something and quit worrying about it. Stop thinking and start doing. Even if it sucks it's better than just ruminating and staying completely paralyzed because that just makes everything worse.
Sorry for the ramble...hope it helps.
|
| marsha |
Posted - 02/01/2009 : 20:54:52
Cee,
A long time ago , suffering from anxiety, I went for some therapy.
I had mega anxiety attacks and physical pain as well. My wise therapist told me to get a job..I did and hardly had any time to be anxious or be in pain. Working kept my mind occupied with other things. This was before I even knew about TMS.
It is more exhausting to be anxious than it is to work. At least for me it is. The more occupied and distracted I am the better I feel.
Too much down time isn't good for TMSers.
Get busy. Do something you like.
You will be OK.
Marsha |
| Cee |
Posted - 02/01/2009 : 20:21:49
THANK ALL OF YOU! I learn so much from all of you.
My daughters anxiety and depression is hers but I do feel guilt about it and my oldest daughter is so competent and fearless that I feel weak around her. When I am not anxious I am having physical symptoms and today I am having both. It is a process. I am listening to Louise Hays CDs and I like the positive affirmations and I continue to work on the cognitive- behavioral.....I like that statement "living my life".....I will be using that one! Thanks!
I am still curious if any of you with anxiety or those of you who had anxiety go through/went through the extreme bouts of exhaustion? I get so tired some days and my husband questions how that is possible when I work only one day per week presently.....but I do.
Cee |
| severson |
Posted - 02/01/2009 : 19:43:32
I get it Hillbilly...very insightful prose.
"And down in lovely muck I’ve lain,
Happy till I woke again.
Then I saw the morning sky:
Heigho, the tale was all a lie;
The world, it was the old world yet,
I was I, my things were wet,
And nothing now remained to do
But begin the game anew"
|
| Hillbilly |
Posted - 01/31/2009 : 18:31:39
G. Gordon Liddy, famed man of iron will, who was imprisoned for his involvement in the Watergate break-in, was a worried, sickly child who was deathly afraid of storms. He decided that he was no longer going to live in fear, so he climbed into a tree and sat in it during a storm. Extreme example I know, but the point is that we have to face our fears in order to conquer them. Actually, it isn't anything at all that we fear or run away from except the feeling of fear itself.
I wasvery bored with Victorian literature except for Thomas Carlyle and A.E. Housman. Housman wrote this poem in 1896, which goes to my point about innoculation, being prepared for trouble and learning how to handle things. I hope it makes sense to you.
A. E. Housman (1859–1936). A Shropshire Lad. 1896.
LXII. Terence, this is stupid stuff
‘TERENCE, this is stupid stuff:
You eat your victuals fast enough;
There can’t be much amiss, ’tis clear,
To see the rate you drink your beer.
But oh, good Lord, the verse you make, 5
It gives a chap the belly-ache.
The cow, the old cow, she is dead;
It sleeps well, the horned head:
We poor lads, ’tis our turn now
To hear such tunes as killed the cow. 10
Pretty friendship ’tis to rhyme
Your friends to death before their time
Moping melancholy mad:
Come, pipe a tune to dance to, lad.’
Why, if ’tis dancing you would be, 15
There’s brisker pipes than poetry.
Say, for what were hop-yards meant,
Or why was Burton built on Trent?
Oh many a peer of England brews
Livelier liquor than the Muse, 20
And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God’s ways to man.
Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think:
Look into the pewter pot 25
To see the world as the world’s not.
And faith, ’tis pleasant till ’tis past:
The mischief is that ’twill not last.
Oh I have been to Ludlow fair
And left my necktie God knows where, 30
And carried half way home, or near,
Pints and quarts of Ludlow beer:
Then the world seemed none so bad,
And I myself a sterling lad;
And down in lovely muck I’ve lain, 35
Happy till I woke again.
Then I saw the morning sky:
Heigho, the tale was all a lie;
The world, it was the old world yet,
I was I, my things were wet, 40
And nothing now remained to do
But begin the game anew.
Therefore, since the world has still
Much good, but much less good than ill,
And while the sun and moon endure 45
Luck’s a chance, but trouble’s sure,
I’d face it as a wise man would,
And train for ill and not for good.
’Tis true, the stuff I bring for sale
Is not so brisk a brew as ale: 50
Out of a stem that scored the hand
I wrung it in a weary land.
But take it: if the smack is sour,
The better for the embittered hour;
It should do good to heart and head 55
When your soul is in my soul’s stead;
And I will friend you, if I may,
In the dark and cloudy day.
There was a king reigned in the East:
There, when kings will sit to feast, 60
They get their fill before they think
With poisoned meat and poisoned drink.
He gathered all the springs to birth
From the many-venomed earth;
First a little, thence to more, 65
He sampled all her killing store;
And easy, smiling, seasoned sound,
Sate the king when healths went round.
They put arsenic in his meat
And stared aghast to watch him eat; 70
They poured strychnine in his cup
And shook to see him drink it up:
They shook, they stared as white’s their shirt:
Them it was their poison hurt.
—I tell the tale that I heard told. 75
Mithridates, he died old.
I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| winnieboo |
Posted - 01/31/2009 : 07:26:20
Hi Cee,
My 16-year-old son suffers from anxiety, too, so I thought I'd chime in with Marsha. I have guilt about "causing" his anxiety too. I personally think that it's both genetic and learned, but I also don't think anyone, medical doctor or great thinker, really knows for sure. One thing that is for sure, my son isn't me, and what causes his anxiety isn't always what causes mine, and we've both improved since we talk about it less and compare ourselves to each other less. In doing this, I've also allowed myself to step out of the guilt somewhat, and I'm able to help him more effectively and just be his mom when he does stress--instead of relate out loud and stress with him. My therapist encouraged me to get therapy for him six months ago, and he is SO much better, but we have farther to go...He doesn't like to travel, he doesn't like to sleep over at other people's houses, but he is completely engaged in school and sports now with lots of friends and he's much more confident. I never thought I'd see him even talk about going away to college, but we're hearing some interest now. So I think that helping them is key. That is the best we can do! |
| marsha |
Posted - 01/30/2009 : 20:33:32
It isn't genetic it is learned.
Children learn how to behave from their parents.
My daughter is just like me..
She had panic attacks, migraine headaches etc.
She deals with stress the same way I do.
We are just human and do the best we can.
Who said life was going to be easy?
You aren't responsible for her anxiety..We all suffer.
Help her get over it if you can.
I know how you feel.
Marsha |
| tpunk |
Posted - 01/30/2009 : 20:27:33
quote:
Originally posted by Cee
All this being said then a cognitive- behavioral approach to anxiety should work best......restructure your thoughts and face your fears....right?
Yes, I totally believe the cognitive-behavioral approach is what works for me and has brought me so far in my TMS recovery! I try to keep my thinking to myself and at times out loud to something such as "I'm great, there's nothing wrong with me" or "I'm having a great day" "I have a great life". etc, etc. I don't care to think about "facing my fears" but rather "living my life." I believe it is Louise Hay who is a proponent of such positive affirmations rather than negative.
Give it a try, it has worked for me and my anxiety :) |
| Cee |
Posted - 01/30/2009 : 17:41:17
All this being said then a cognitive- behavioral approach to anxiety should work best......restructure your thoughts and face your fears....right? This is what I am trying to do.
Sadly I am now watching my youngest (just turned 16 )struggling with what looks just like anxiety and it breaks my heart....guilt.....she says to me, "thanks Mom for giving me this ".
So I believe there is a genetic component.
What about exhaustion for those of you who have anxiety/panic disorder or who had anxiety/panic disorder. Some days I feel like I am walking in my sleep and I dont know how to get through the day I am so tired. Any of you experience that?
Cee |
| marsha |
Posted - 01/30/2009 : 15:02:26
I thnk the debate continues on what TMS is because of the DOUBT that some members have about their conditions. Sometimes it takes a while to work through all the information and the conditioning we have lived with.
I have a friend who is going to have major surgery for the second time on her back. She thinks TMS exists but not in her case. Her pain is "real".
My neighbor fell of a ladder 3 years ago and hurt his knee. It still hurts and although there is no evidence that he has any injury the doctors have convinced him that he has a physical problem. I gave him a copy on MBP and he said that he could see the truth in the TMS diagnosis but not in his case.
Conditioning reinforced by medical professionals , drug companies,TV ads for pain killers and well meaning friends contribute to our doubt and aniety.
Recovery depends on ridding ourselves of the anxiety we all feel or have felt in relation to our pain. It is part of the process of recovery.
Marsha |
| TotalStrangerFigure |
Posted - 01/30/2009 : 13:20:07
I'm not sure why there is debate about what constitutes "TMS". Does not Dr. Sarno call anxiety a TMS equivalent? If I remember correctly, he considered changing the name to... (can't remember what), but his colleagues urged him to keep the name TMS because so many people were already familiar with it. But any symptom - mental, physical, emotional - that the mind is using as a defense mechanism is encompassed by the term TMS. Isn't that why we discuss ALL these things on the TMS help forum? |
| Capn Spanky |
Posted - 01/30/2009 : 10:07:32
quote:
Originally posted by mizlorinj
...You also need to believe this is going to work for you. Going in with thinking "this won't help" will get exactly those results.
This really helped me turn the corner with my TMS. I had to believe it with all of my heart... there is nothing wrong with my back or my elbows... I can perform any physical task and start doing them (slowly at first)... I had to make myself truly believe it.
Also, stop all medical treatments (pain meds, physical therapy, stretching, etc.). It's hard to do and very scary, but it really works. |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 01/30/2009 : 09:36:52
My response will come as a shock to the Board regulars (NOT!!) Start writing about your feelings. You also need to believe this is going to work for you. Going in with thinking "this won't help" will get exactly those results.
There was an article in some alternative health magazine (way too many ads for vities, etc) about a guy who decided to start in a journal, makes himself do it every morning for 30 minutes, and sees how he responds differently during the day since he got his feelings out in the morning.
For those having difficulty reaching the anger, etc. Dr. Brady's Pain Free For Life gives some good ideas on things to try first--frustration maybe. He's been there and learned how to help others. Very good personality descriptions in there and also talk about "depth journaling".
Get writing. It works. Yes, it takes discipline (=anger!) to get started but once you start and see the benefits, you'll know what I've been talking about.
Best wishes everyone.
|
| severson |
Posted - 01/30/2009 : 07:06:56
I’ve been riddled with anxiety for over 15 years, since my early teens. Growing up, my environment was anything but stable and severe abandonment issues have plagued me into adulthood.
My physical pain started about four months before my wedding and I am quite certain that emotional distress, repressed emotions and fear of the responsibilities that go along with family are the catalyst for my current pain pattern. I believe the decision to marry has stirred up repressed emotions and fear. I have been to a number of MD's over the course of the year and they concur that this is fibromyalgia. I have a very a tough time accepting this diagnosis because of the lack of diagnostic criteria and the fact that all the symptoms of this “syndrome” are exactly the same as the symptoms of anxiety. I am also a severe people pleaser with an intense need to be liked by everyone with an outrageous fear of being judged negatively.
I do have a history of psychosomatic illness, mostly GI complaints, nausea, vomiting etc.. dating back to my early teens during an extremely distressing time involving separation anxiety. As little as five years ago I dealt with a similar pain problem during a time of significant stress that resolved within a couple of months, after I made a crucial decision not to move 3000 miles away from home. Now I am struggling with the fact that I may have made the wrong decision in getting married. My biggest fear at this point is that the pain I am experiencing now will never go away and will ruin the rest of my life, which I know is contributing to the pain-fear-pain cycle. I guess my question is how does one break this cycle, build resistance, as Hillbilly stated, and not fear and obsess over the ever present pain, perception of limitation and ramifications on quality of life? In other words, how do you face life fully while feeling so physically, emotionally and mentally distraught? |
| marsha |
Posted - 01/29/2009 : 18:25:59
For me anxiety is TMS.
For years I had anxiety attacks, often ending up in the emergency room in the middle of the night. I had attacks in my car in the kitchen , while food shopping, no where was safe.
When I realized that nothing bad happened as a result of these attacks they went away.
Marsha |
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