| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 11/30/2008 : 19:25:32
Hi Ya'all!
I just thought I'd check in....see what everybody was doing? So many new people...great! I hope everybody is doing the deal and getting well. I'll assume that the old names I don't see in the top 25 posts are all healed.
I have been symptom free for a long time....I went through hell back there in the Spring with the break-up with the wife. As I dealt with the sympt-emotions I realized WHY we NEED our pain. There is some scary,scary **** down there. Many days I waxed sentimental about the salad days of my back pain.
Got off of the blood pressure meds...my Doc always had an idea that they were related to my poor marriage, but , not wanting me to have a stroke, medicated me just the same. Now that I've been alone this long, my blood pressure is perfect and I'm off the meds, in spite of my smoking and drinking 2 pots of coffee a day...go figure.
Lot of pain...emotional pain. Thanksgiving was tough. Felt like I was going to cry about every 5 minutes being away from the kids, ignored, forgotten (violin music playing in background)
Louise Hay and Eckhart have been my fortress of respite and there is nothing I look more forward to each day than the writing, the reading , the work. 'a self imposed crisis we could neither postpone or evade'
I don't know about the 'self imposed' part, but Thank god for Sarno. Going on a decade pain free.
so...who's out there?
-bb65 |
| 9 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| forestfortrees |
Posted - 07/27/2009 : 07:36:28
quote:
Originally posted by Baseball65
Louise Hay and Eckhart have been my fortress of respite and there is nothing I look more forward to each day than the writing, the reading , the work.
Hi Baseball,
If you like Eckhart Tolle, you might also like The Presence Process. Some people describe it as a "How To manual" for Tolle's work.
It sounds like you have a pretty good system going already, but I figured that it couldn't help to mention it... |
| Plantweed |
Posted - 07/23/2009 : 14:55:13
Baseball65, I'm back in the cage after a couple of years of freedom, currently working my way back out. Still love your posts, keep on keepin' on.
To answer an old question you had: my user name is an old nickname that comes from my last name, and the fact that I, like all my friends, smoked mega amounts of weed as a teenager in the '80s! FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH and OVER THE EDGE was our life. |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 12/09/2008 : 06:09:23
@Scott... yeah, Though 'vert' is a rare bird. Most of the pools, ramps and flowbowls have limited spots that are true 'vertical' as in perpendicular to the ground...an 88 degree incline with broomstick coping sure FEELS like vert, but isn't quite.
I skate at CWC in Nashville and when I drop in from 6 or 7 feet I'm fine, but when I drop in from 8' which is defintely in the vert , I get a weird butterfly in my stomach kind of thing. It HAS to be in my head, because I can 'pump' my way into those same places, but when I think about it too much,I bail or eat it 
can't streetskate worth a damn. I like watching my sons videos though. I can appreciate things I can't execute....it's ART!
@Miche, yes, I believe every thing happens for a reason. I believe the word 'coincidence' is an agnostics take on the presence and hand of God. I haven't had any coincidence's, but I have had a lot of happy accidents (agnosticism again)
I had the great fortune to live over and next to two men who both recovered via John Sarno.Although I nearly kicked one of them for suggesting my pain was 'homemade' , I later thanked him for his 'rudeness'.
I have had the great good fortune of being asked to leave my marriage and my home to move to Nowhere in particular, because now I live in a beautiful place in an unfathomably magnificent life in an unimaginably fun and free lifestyle that conjures up memories of all the dreams I had about life when I was 19 years old.
I live in a garden surrounded by trees and animals, in a wealthy neighborhood in a fun town where I get to record music, skateboard, paint things (like guitars...not like Van Gogh) and I am surrounded by the best friends I could have ever possibly hoped for.
I have two wonderful sons, the nicest car I've ever owned and a great job with the best boss in the world. I go where I want when I want, get new toys all the time and don't even try to plan out my own days, because something better than I could have imagined usually happens.
I have some of the best teachers in the world ( Jesus, Siddhartha, Lao-tse, Sarno, Eckhart, Louise, etc,etc,etc) I'm sure I'll read Dyer because too many people who I gravitate unto have also suggested it.... they all happen at just the right time.
But....some days, like Thanksgiving, I feel selfish. I have an Idea of how I THINK it is supposed to unfold and of course it doesn't. Than I have sorrow. I had to sit through that sorrow and FEEL it or else I couldn't get to the other side of it, just like my refusal to feel anger, shame, jealousy and fear gave once gave me back pain (and a whole laundry list of other crap)
I know that we create all of our own experiences, but sometimes when you've sown the wind, you gotta' flow with the whirlwind you've reaped, if only so you know what it feels like to think twice before doing it again. |
| scottjmurray |
Posted - 12/02/2008 : 03:50:19
bb65, do you skate vert? i've noticed older people skate vert. i skate street but i think as i get older i'm going to tend more towards vert by some strange inevitability.
---
author of tms-recovery . com
(not sh!t, champagne)
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| miche |
Posted - 12/01/2008 : 23:16:48
funny about the blood pressure, that's exactly what my ex said after we split, his blood pressure was great for the first time in a long time, then he met the woman from hell and he needed two meds to achieve any kind of control over it, maybe this would be a better test for you guys, before you tie the knot that is , forget prenuptial counseling, just keep a look on the old BP meter, better be safe than sorry  |
| miche |
Posted - 12/01/2008 : 23:05:16
Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? If you believe that then you will know that your separation was meant to be and that your desolation is temporary , there are lessons to be learned in every tragedy, sometimes we are not sure what it is that we are yearning for but from past experience we definetely know what it is that we don't want, Wayne W Dyer explains it so well in " You'll see it when you believe it"
If you haven't read it please do , he really put things in perspective for me , I love his theory on guilt among other things, I never thought that something anyone said would do this much for me,I am not saying that you have guilt only that as someone who left a thirty year marriage I imposed a lot of guilt on myself, it's gone completely thank's to him, anyway I haven't been on this board for about a year,I did not believe that fibro was tms, read too many studies saying it was a real disease with no cure , I have since changed my mind and believe it is all emotional, my fear is that the damage may be permanent but I am on a mission to change my thinking just the same .
Keep the faith .
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| Baseball65 |
Posted - 12/01/2008 : 20:16:10
quote:
Originally posted by scottjmurray
hey bb65
any clue why you feel lonely and forgotten? i usually feel pretty good by myself, as long as i have something to do anyway. like skateboarding or kicking ass or something.
---
author of tms-recovery . com
(not sh!t, champagne)
Usually I can use the 'action kills fear' type of therapy and pull my head out of my Butt, but on that particular day, I couldn't skate, the batting cage was closed and I was trapped alone with me.
Because of circumstance, I hadn't seen my kids, my band or my skating buddies for about a week.... and I worked alone all week long. Humans are gregarious, no matter how much of 'loners' we tend to be.
I ended up going to a dinner I didn't want to go to just to stop the voices in my head. It worked.
But in general, I do like being alone, as long as I have been doing the writing,work,journaling,whatever you want to call it.....so I know I'm alone with me and there isn't a whole committee in there.
-BB65 |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 12/01/2008 : 10:29:39
Glad to hear of your progress, baseball.
"sympt-emotions" LOVE that!
RE: the crying, why not just do it and let it out!
I saw Louise last Saturday in NY--check thread for some tidbits I posted from the conference. One off the top: gratitude.
-Lori
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| scottjmurray |
Posted - 12/01/2008 : 00:52:32
hey bb65
any clue why you feel lonely and forgotten? i usually feel pretty good by myself, as long as i have something to do anyway. like skateboarding or kicking ass or something.
---
author of tms-recovery . com
(not sh!t, champagne)
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