| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Carol |
Posted - 12/20/2004 : 17:53:31
I just finished journaling for the day, and it struck me that an occurance that I journaled about might be interesting to some of you who are looking for reasons for your pain.
A few days ago I was wrapping some Christmas presents. I was seated on the edge of the couch, using the coffee table as a wrapping surface. It wasn't a very comfortable position, and of course I had an increase in back pain. I attributed it to the uncomfortable position and of course as soon as I finished and cleaned up, the pain got better. Of course it was the position, wasn't it?
Today I finished my wrapping in the same place, in the same position. About half way through I realized that I was feeling fine. What was different? I am finished with my shopping, pleased with the presents, and ready for the holiday!
A few days ago, when I had the pain, I was very frustrated by not finding the things that I was looking for, worrying that I wasn't doing enough for the grandchildren, and generally not having a good time. As soon as I finished my wrapping tonight I sat down and journaled this experience and my conclusions. Right now my back feels the best it has in at least a couple weeks.
I don't know if this will strike any chords with anyone, but sometimes we work so hard for the reasons for our pain, and it turns out to be something very mundane.
Happy Holidays to all you other perfectionists and compulsive worriers out there.
Carol |
| 10 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 12/22/2004 : 10:02:24
In regards to WINDSHIELD WIPERS!!
I worked at a service station from age 16 to age 22 and can vouch for Tom's testimony....they are the HARDEST thing to install on a car...I've dropped radiators in easier.
The Problem with them is every single manufacturer has a different attaching mechanism design...some you switch the blade,some you switch the blade and holder,and some you switch the blade arm completely.
That is why I,an otherwise mechanically sound thinking human being ALWAYS pay the guy at the station to do it.
If my wife asked me to do it,I'd just drive the car somewhere and pay someone else.
Baseball65 |
| Laura |
Posted - 12/22/2004 : 09:15:04
The day my husband tells me to install my own windshield wipers is the day hell freezes over!!! He may do a lot of things that bug me but I am his wife and he takes care of me. I agree with the last two posts. Just tell him you need him when you need him and maybe he'll surprise you.
Carol, I just want to thank you for this great post. I have been feeling so much more stressed out than usual and my TMS gremlin is having the time of it's life as well. It seems like only a few weeks ago my dizziness was almost non-existant. Now it's at it's worst and it's getting me crazy. I was trying on pants in a store yesterday and for whatever reason, when I am in fitting rooms trying on clothes I seem to get dizzy quite frequently. Now, I can try on clothes in my own home and I can step into a pair of pants every day in my own bedroom but for some reason, I get dizzy in dressing rooms. I've always thought it was because of the lighting or something in store dressing rooms but sometimes it doesn't happen.
We are about to embark on a "road trip" to Texas to see my entire family and I'm stressed. I'm stressed about all the laundry I need to do before, the packing, the organizing, worrying about my dog being okay while we're gone, everything!!! I'm also stressed about seeing my family because as others have said, they can surely provoke TMS symptoms to come on full force.
Anyway, between my stomach hurting, my dizziness, headaches, etc., my TMS is having itself a field day during the holiday season.
Anne, thank you for posting that wonderful quotation. It helped me to read the words.
Happy holidays to everyone!
Laura
|
| tennis tom |
Posted - 12/22/2004 : 09:12:24
Michele,
I've worked a lot on cars in my day and the installation of wipers has always mystified me. It looks like it should be so easy but it has always turned imto a pain in the butt. I don't know if I've ever put them on right. Now I just save a lot of frustration and let the mechanics do it during routine serviceing. You can go back to where you bought them and if it's a car place, maybe there's someone who can install them for you. Or take it to an old fashioned gas station wtih sevice bays, or lastly to the dealer. To someone who does them all day it's a snap. To someone who doesn't it can be very frustating and tricky. Good luck, let us know how it turns out. |
| Dave |
Posted - 12/22/2004 : 08:53:51
quote:
Originally posted by Michele
I need new windshield wipers on my car and I don't have a clue as to how to attach them. He bought the wipers and put them IN the car. Yesterday it rained and they were not installed. I told him they were still in the car and he said, "So, put them on." 
IMO this is psychological warfare. Sounds like your husband has issues of his own. I cannot imagine doing this to my wife. |
| Fox |
Posted - 12/22/2004 : 08:46:00
You already know what to do, so it would be best to get it over with and do it today. Tell your husband that you don't know how to put the windshield wiper blades on (it is kind of complicated) and ask if he will please install them since he does know how to do it....He won't have any justification for refusing your request. |
| Michele |
Posted - 12/21/2004 : 14:28:17
Fox - have you been talking to my therapist?  Since living with my husband and 2 teenage boys, I've learned all you have to do is ask. But I do get tired of asking, and writing down lists, so sometimes it is easier just to do it. My husband is very good at pulling out his list of "this is what I've done for you", and my memory isn't as great as his for things like that, so I tend to avoid it. I know - not a good thing to do. This is just one example: I need new windshield wipers on my car and I don't have a clue as to how to attach them. He bought the wipers and put them IN the car. Yesterday it rained and they were not installed. I told him they were still in the car and he said, "So, put them on."
My instructions from my therapist are: FIND YOUR VOICE. So I'm working on that. |
| Fox |
Posted - 12/21/2004 : 12:33:28
Why not ask your husband to help with Christmas preparations - especially since you figure that he would agree to help if asked....Be being assertive (in a pleasant way hopefully) and getting the assistance from him that you want, you will become less stressed out by all the Christmas tasks that you face and you will become less resentful of your husband and therefore get rid of a lot of stored-up anger and resultant TMS symptoms. Men aren't mind readers, so you need to tell him what you want and how you expect a good partner to behave at Christmas. |
| Michele |
Posted - 12/21/2004 : 12:07:16
YES CAROL! You are absolutely right, I have been getting some really stupid pain off and on the past few weeks. I usually only have it when I'm standing in line at a store!
1. I hate shopping.
2. I hate crowds.
3. Money is tight.
The minutes I'm away from the store, I'm fine. Then "obligations" are the other thing that causes me tension. Spending a Saturday afternoon working at a children's Christmas party at church (I'm having issues with church personnel); wrapping, cooking, cleaning, decorating with NO help from my spouse (he'd probably do it if I asked, I think); spending time with family - and some of those family members drive me crazy! LOL!
But I'm on vacation the 24th, back to work on the 3rd, and I intend to relax and enjoy myself!
Have a Merry Christmas! |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 12/21/2004 : 05:42:20
Hi Carol.
Over the last 25 years I've only NOT sold Xmas trees for two of them..this year and last year.
Every year right around now(sometime between the 20th-26th) I'd literally collapse .....I 'd get pneumonia,Bronchitis,influenza.
Starting about 5 years ago,I flatly declared to myself and the world "Damn it..I'm NOT going to be sick this Xmas,,,it's just a conditioned thing and has a long laundry list of reasons that I won't list here,but nONe of them are real."
Last year,I quit selling trees for the first time since 1979 and I had a great Xmas...this year as well.
It was that scenario sarno talks about when he descibes the person who rises to the occasion,but than when the anxiety is over.....
c r a s h i n g
It's amazing how NOT deep we are! Sometimes something really trivial or obvious can initiate symptoms.Also,Xmas is probably thee most emotionally loaded event,having the most Family strings etc.
Family stuff is always the hard to figure out,subtle kind!!
I'm glad you reminded us all to be on hightened alert for the gremlin!
Merry Xmas!
Baseball65 |
| n/a |
Posted - 12/21/2004 : 02:14:40
Hi Carol
I don't think that you are alone in suffring from Christmas stress - the board has been pretty busy in the past few days - coinicidence? Maybe, but I suspect not. Last year I decided that I'd had had enough of the seasonal madness. In September of this year I contacted all my adult relatives and friends with whom I usually exchange gifts and suggested that we make gift giving something for the children only - everyone went for it. My favourite charities got more this year from me instead. I told my brother, my only sibling, that I was not doing a big family lunch this year and that our elderly mother and aunt were not my responsibility on Christmas day - they are for the rest of the year, so he is doing it. I had done a huge traditional lunch for every year for the past thirty five years and my gremlin had the time of its life every Christmas - throwing every TMS symptom at me and making the holidays very unhappy.
Any shopping, I have done online and all the Christmas activities I have planned are ones that are enjoyable to me and my husband.
Don't feel guilty, Carol - why should you? Next year, think about being a bit more selfish - that's my advice.
I don't normally use quotations on the board, but I like this one,
"Sometimes we can lose ourselves in the process of caring for others or in our work.
All things have a natural balance.
The more we nurture ourselves with gentleness, love and compassion, the healthier and happier we become, and the more these qualities then naturally overflow to those around us."
Happy holidays, everyone.
Anne
|
|
|
