| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Mely |
Posted - 09/16/2008 : 04:12:50
I'm trying to formulate in my head how my life long trait of procrastinating could be linked to my TMS. Feedback please.
I am an intelligent, capable person who grew up having a lot of responsibilities (our home was self serve b/c of all our parent's problems). I did above average in school but could have done better if I had worked harder. Most people see me as anything but lazy but I have always procrastinated and it has made me feel lazy. I always crammed for tests at the last minute when I was a student, I used to let certain family errands pile up and at work I often have a pile of stuff to do I just don't feel like doing. When I do get into something, I give it my all and am very detailed oriented (perfectionist?) but other times I just don't feel like doing anything. I have gotten better in the last few years, reading books on getting organized has helped me tremendously and even secured me my last couple of jobs but the procrastination is still there.
Tied into this is a recurrent dream I've had for years. I'm rushing to catch a train, plane, bus but every obstacle gets in my way and I just can't get there. It is a very frustrating dream. Does this represent feelings of not fufilling my potential possibly b/c of my procrastination?
As a trial, I went at my work this morning with vigour. I cleaned my desk and set my sights at getting all the odd jobs done. In doing so, my back felt a lot better. Could this just be a way to take my mind off my pain or could I be on to something? Does this mean if I fight the procrastination my TMS will go away? Thoughts?
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| 5 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Dave |
Posted - 09/17/2008 : 15:01:39
quote:
Originally posted by Mely
I'm trying to formulate in my head how my life long trait of procrastinating could be linked to my TMS. Feedback please.
I believe yes, it is all tied to the same underlying psychological issues.
By not doing something, you eliminate the possibility of failing at that thing, or not doing that thing perfectly enough, and these are traits of the TMS-prone personality. |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 09/16/2008 : 13:33:30
Mely, how about next time you feel like procrastinating and you don't procrastinate but instead complete the task, take a minute to absorb the feeling of having done the job, whatever it was. It really does feel good! Perhaps that will motivate you. I know in my mind I say "I'm so happy I'm getting this done!" The words we say, even to ourselves in our own mind, carry a lot of power.
I occasionally still put stuff off, though I don't like that I do that. Tonight I need to write about a situation I've put off a couple days, but I feel slight pain coming on in my shoulder so I know I MUST do this or risk more pain! And funny, because once I determined that I am going to take care of this tonight before I go to bed, I felt a slight letup in the ache.
Be kind and loving with yourself. We don't change overnight. Celebrate any steps you take--even if you consider them small.
Regarding your recurrent dream, it could certainly have meaning. Could you explore with writing or a therapist? Amazing what comes out of us when we start spewing emotions and the past. Questions that follow are from my own personal experience: How did you feel about all the responsibility you had as a kid? Would you rather have been doing other things? Fears people won't like you if you don't live up to what they think you should be?
Best wishes,
-Lori |
| n/a |
Posted - 09/16/2008 : 07:36:14
There are a few different explanations for the guilt, I suspect. For one, it could be an inherent aspect of perfectionism ("I am not doing a good enough job and I feel bad about that. I really OUGHT TO be doing a better job."). Or, it could be what Sarno calls goodism, the tendency to want to please everyone and feeling bad when one doesn't. But meanwhile, one gets anxious/stressed/angry on the inside about feeling like one has to please everyone, which Sarno would say then causes the symptoms (that then distract one from the anxiety).
Perfectionism and goodism seem inherently tied to each other in this way. They both boil down to "I am not good enough" whether as a worker, human being, etc. It leads away from self-love and toward various degrees of self-hatred and disease. |
| Mely |
Posted - 09/16/2008 : 07:17:39
quote:
Originally posted by jamie
I think that many people's procrastination issues (yours truly's included) come from perfectionism. People put themselves under a ton of pressure not just to get the job done, but to get it done really, really well. As a result, the task at hand becomes anxiety-inducing and seemingly insurmountable. So then of course, one wants to put off facing it as long as possible! And, as "luck" would have it, the physical symptoms of TMS keep one preoccupied and distracted from the anxiety about said task.
By sitting down and doing work despite these obstacles, you defeated TMS's distraction mechanism and so your symptoms got better. As far as the perfectionism is concerned, I think it's helpful to try and focus on just getting things done as opposed to how good they'll turn out. I know it's hard, but I believe it might be the way to go, because with letting the anxiety/perfectionism win, nothing will get done at all!
Thank you. You said that much more concisely then me. The only other factor is the guilt I feel from not doing what needs to be done. If my boss asks me about something he requested and I haven't done it, I'm very embarrased and sometimes even tell a white lie to cover myself. How does the guilt and embarrasement play in?
BTW, I have noticed my tendency to do the job too well. I realized a while back that most people won't even notice the extra details I took care of so why bother. Often once I do a task that I had procrastinated over, I say to myself, "that wasn't so bad, why didn't I take care of that sooner" |
| n/a |
Posted - 09/16/2008 : 06:33:55
I think that many people's procrastination issues (yours truly's included) come from perfectionism. People put themselves under a ton of pressure not just to get the job done, but to get it done really, really well. As a result, the task at hand becomes anxiety-inducing and seemingly insurmountable. So then of course, one wants to put off facing it as long as possible! And, as "luck" would have it, the physical symptoms of TMS keep one preoccupied and distracted from the anxiety about said task.
By sitting down and doing work despite these obstacles, you defeated TMS's distraction mechanism and so your symptoms got better. As far as the perfectionism is concerned, I think it's helpful to try and focus on just getting things done as opposed to how good they'll turn out. I know it's hard, but I believe it might be the way to go, because with letting the anxiety/perfectionism win, nothing will get done at all! |
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