| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Paul |
Posted - 09/10/2008 : 10:30:03
I have a question regarding TMS treatment.
I know that one becoming mindful and fully aware of the moment can have a great reduction on stress, depression, worry, etc. and can improve health etc. By mindful I mean being present and not dwelling on thoughts, the past or the future...just this moment.
But in TMS treatment, we are suppose to dwell on the past or our self. I can see the point of this, but I also see this as a way to just reinforce issues that may not be that big or to keep us "self centered" instead of getting out of our own world. Too much rumination about what is wrong with one's self can be a bad thing I think.
I hope I'm making sense. I guess I'm basically trying to figure out if it is better to truly "let go and be present only" versus dwelling on the past or self TOO much. |
| 7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| winnieboo |
Posted - 09/10/2008 : 16:43:31
quote:
it's unrealistic to think that simply living in the present moment will not remind me of some past issues (before I've worked on the issue and am at peace with it so it doesn't keep coming up). It is much easier said than done. I do
Here's a quote from my therapist, "the present articulates the past."
Invariably, what gets us stuck in the present--when we would be happier to "live in the moment"--are past hurts, misunderstandings and emotions that have caused us to develop and hang on to bad habits. So, if we want to get better, we do need to revisit the past for information.
When you overeact or respond negatively to a situation, ask yourself what the situation reminds you of. Who spoke to you like that? What other times do you remember feeling this furious or embarrassed or sad, for example?
We "let go" by understanding what happened in the past and making sense of it in a new way. Through looking back (briefly, dwelling is counterproductive), we examine the hurts to our inner child with the conscious mind of an adult. Getting there is different for each person. Journaling works for some, therapy is a must for others. You get the point...
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| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 09/10/2008 : 14:43:58
quote:
TRUE mindfullness is acceptance of what is, the here and now...not what happened a long time ago.
When what happened a long time ago is influencing what is happening with us right now (as it very much is, in TMS, and in the lives of people with TMS), then it is mindful to become aware of that, feel whatever feelings we have about that, and let it pass. Then the present situation no longer involves the past, and we can deal with it in the present, right now.
This is a goal, not somewhere you can get immediately.
You might find the book Conscious Living gives a useful perspective on this. One thing they say is that if you give a feeling even ten seconds of your pure attention and flow, it will often pass away, having been fully felt. Some feelings take longer, especially if we have a hard time staying focused on feeling them or they are very deep and intense. But by no means does becoming aware of and feeling past feelings require dwelling, ruminating, or even removing ourselves from the present moment. Though, being imperfect people that we are, it'll happen sometimes!
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What were you expecting? |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 09/10/2008 : 14:24:58
Again, we would all like to say "nothing bothers me. I just let things go." Is that a realistic statement for most of us right here and now? Will most of us practice the "true mindfulness" you describe?
Journaling is writing about stuff you think could be bugging you, you write about it, feel it, done. I do not view bringing up the past as reinforcing it. I view it as healing. And journaling is not only about the past. Present circumstances affect us too!
Living in the present only is a wonderful idea. And I would love to! And some day I hope to! The question is: can we make it work? right now? I used to think of myself as someone who was cool and could let things go. When I was laid up in back pain, unable to work, and did some exploring, I unleashed a whole lot of stuff. And I was able to heal and get back to a normal, pain-free life. Point is, I thought I was living in the present back then, but I wasn't or I wouldn't have had life-stopping pain.
Look Paul, I'm just saying how it is for most of us in the here and now. The concept of living ONLY in the present is great, yes, the past is indeed the past, and the future isn't here yet. True. But I'm being realistic for where I am (and most of us?) are right now. That is simply not an overnight acceptance and instant healing for most of us. And for where I am now, (I'll speak for myself only) I think when an event/emotion, etc. comes to mind, dismissing it as "the past" just buries it back in there to cause later problems. Not what I want to do.
If that's what you're trying out though and you have TMS pain, please let us know how it goes!
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| hkp |
Posted - 09/10/2008 : 14:17:32
My understanding is that while the past may be over, traumatic and angry enery - energy from stong emotions - is stored in the body until it is released. This doesn't happen mentally. The energy is just there, causing us physical pain (or me anyway). So unless we deal with it on some level and release it, it will stick around. (Peter Levine writes about this, but I find his work somewhat complicated. Someone posted a good summary of his "Waking the Tiger" a few months back. Check it out.)
I also understand that mindfulness helps us to deal with whatever we are feeling in the moment, to be with it fully - pleasant, unpleasant and neutral. If you are having a feeling about something unpleasant that happend in the past, you are having it now and you must be with it NOW. In this, I think reading Jon Kabat-Zinn could be a better reference point than Echart Tolle.
I'm also taking a really good mindfulness class through my health care provider (Kaiser). It is helping me quite a bit, and clarifying many issues like those you raise. Maybe check out a class?
hkp |
| Paul |
Posted - 09/10/2008 : 13:15:43
Yes, but the idea of TRUE mindfullness is acceptance of what is, the here and now...not what happened a long time ago. The past is over. Done. The future is not here. So letting go of both reduces stress and the "fight" inside us.
How can you deal with the past, when the past is just that...past? All that matters is right now.
I think if we think about all the past hurts, etc. all that does is takes us backwards maybe instead of living fully in the now. What is past is over. Why keep it alive?
I guess that is my point of inquiry. How much of thinking and feeling of the past is good, and how much of it is really unnecessary and just adds more mental stress by dredging it up.
Its hard to explain my point, but I'm trying. :) |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 09/10/2008 : 12:23:37
I don't consider exploring emotions or past events as dwelling or ruminating. I am looking to uncover what's there, what's stored or buried, what event an emotion is connected to, feel it, write about it, why it affected me so, let it run its course, and have it BE GONE. Cycle through it. With that, I am at peace. Whatever happened happened. I mean, part of why we are the way we are now, today, is because of things that happened to us. Good and bad.
A friend is reading Ekhart Tolle and told me living fully in the present is the theme. This is great if you're at that point in your life and sufficient past has been "dealt with" and put to permanent rest. But for me it is unrealistic to think that simply living in the present moment will not remind me of some past issues (before I've worked on the issue and am at peace with it so it doesn't keep coming up). It is much easier said than done. I do hope to get to that point some day. I imagine I have some more junk to clean out first, and you know, that is ok! Cleaning out works for healing!
I also think a lot of us would like to think we can easily "let things go." Truth is, it isn't so easy! Just think about something that happened for a second, and watch yourself get really angry, or sad, etc. You didn't let it go! 
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| Dave |
Posted - 09/10/2008 : 10:39:47
quote:
Originally posted by Paul
But in TMS treatment, we are suppose to dwell on the past or our self.
This is not true.
Part of the treatment is to attempt to uncover repressed emotions that may lead to unconscious rage. This often means learning things about yourself that you never knew before. It's not about dwelling on the past or experiencing emotions from our childhood. It's figuring out how those emotions affect us on a deeper level that we never realized. |
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