| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| seimon_23 |
Posted - 09/03/2008 : 13:02:25
Hello all. Haven't made any progress towards recovery in a while now and it's really depressing me. I just seem to have 'levelled off'. Some weeks I'm a little better; some I'm a little worse. But when I look at the median - I'm about the same. A couple of weeks ago, I had 2 good weeks back to back, 'Great,' I thought, 'I'm finally making progress!' I was really busy in work but even so, my pain level definitely felt reduced. Almost as soon as I started to think there was light at the end of the tunnel - Bam! My old friend re-asserted himself. And now the old familiar feelings of doubt and fear are back. I'm strongly considering applying physical therpies alongside Dr Sarno's techniques. I just can't completely let go of the uncertainty that there is a physiological problem which COMBINED with my personality / stress / emotional state has resulted in my pain condition. Unlike a lot of posters here, I had relatively little experience of conventional treatments before discovering TMS so the belief in a physical problem is still entrenched. Perhaps I need to explore this avenue before I can fully embrace the psychological? I have read postings by other RSI / TMS sufferers elsewhere on the web who advocate a holistic approach to treatment and see no harm in combining Dr Sarno's principles with physical therapies. Do any posters here have any experiences like this? Surely it can't do any harm and it might even be the mental trick I need to get my recovery moving again. It's frustrating and enraging when you've been applying the program for so long; turning your feelings inside out and yet all your improvement could just as easily be attributed to ergonomic changes at work. Despite feeling angry or sad or being nice or stern with my inner child - the pain still persists. Faced with this, my rational mind is saying, 'OK pal, it's time to start trying a different approach.' I'm desperate to get my life back 'off hold' can anyone offer any advice? |
| 12 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 09/07/2008 : 19:29:04
mala, to me it sounds like my suggestion about deeper issues that you haven't yet fully addressed is the most likely to be correct.
It's very possible to get TMS just from having an emotionally repressed family and dealing with routine pressures of life in a perfectionist way (this was my situation). Your childhood was clearly far more overtly traumatic than that -- you may be in the category of more severe TMS where addressing the underlying issues is essential. That would be my recommendation to you, if you're looking for a recommendation -- get some therapy, if that's possible, or do some serious journaling and inner work.
Find a safe space to express what part of you seems to still be feeling. The psychotherapist who told you you don't need therapy may not have understood the seriousness of the feelings you were/are having, or may not have been right to work with you, but you may be able to find someone you work well with.
--
What were you expecting? |
| mala |
Posted - 09/07/2008 : 18:52:17
Hi armchairlinguist.
Thanks for replying.
quote:
This to me sounds like you could actually be overdoing it. The goal of TMS is to get back to normal life, not to be constantly engaged in the treatment process, though it can take a long-term commitment. Do you think about TMS for more than an hour or two a day? Have you tried systematic deconditioning (Fred Amir-type)?
Not being 'constantly engaged' but rather being committed is how I think of it. I am only doing what sarno in his books has listed as daily requirements. The treatment is incorporated into my daily life. It has to be. I HAVE to remind myself that the pain is harmless or I won't be able to do many of the things that I push myself to do like sitting which causes pain. I read his books for about 10 minutes every day and then talk to my unconscious mind for another 5.
quote:
Another possibility is that you are having internal awareness of the emotions but that that isn't enough. Do you journal, as well as have internal dialogue? (Journaling helps get things OUT.) Are there major underlying emotional issues which could require deeper exploration with a therapist? This can sometimes be the case
I admit that I do not journal. Maybe that is something I could try. I did go to see a psycho therapist a few years ago but after 2 sessions she indicated that I didn't need it.
quote:
I'm also not 100% convinced from your description that you don't fear the pain, and more generally, aren't emotionally reactive to it, since you say "I am affected by it." Yes, it's probably impossible not to be affected, and it doesn't sound like this is your major problem, but you might explore a bit whether you can let go of it further. This is a good complement to systematic deconditioning: stepping forward to decondition requires a very explicit overcoming of fear and other emotions toward the pain.
It is very hard to measure pain and fear as they are both very subjective and that is why the only measure is where you rate yourself say on a scale of 1 to 10 and then reassess and compare from time to time. At this point I feel good about how much fear I have overcome to say with confidence that I do not fear the pain.
I'd like to share something interesting that I thought about a couple of days ago. I did not have a very comfortable childhood. My father was a violent alcoholic who targeted my mother. To be fair he was never violent towards me or my sister, in fact in his own warped way he loved us very much but home was not a happy place. So when I was 11, I took myself away from this environment to live with my grandparents in India and spent the next 12 years there. I was given a lot of love. My father died when I was 18 which was a relief to us all. Anyway all thru my life for as far as I remember I have screamed and shouted and ranted and raved in my sleep. I also had a lot of rage and would lash out at people around me. These would be sudden outbursts for about 5 mins and then everything would be back to normal- for me anyway.
So I get married at 36 and my husband tells me that it is not good to be so angry so i stop being angry. With time I stopped shouting in my sleep too. That is when the pain started!!! Isn't that interesting?? Just thought I'd share that one.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 09/07/2008 : 08:15:35
Just a note, as this has happened several times lately: if my words aren't directed at you, and they don't work for you, then there's a good chance that I wouldn't say the same thing to you. My words are directed at the person they're addressed to, and shouldn't necessarily be taken to apply (except generically) to others who are in different situations/treatment stages from that person.
That being said, mala,
quote:
I read, I think, I tell myself the pain is harmless, I try to think of what is bothering me,I talk to my unconscious mind every day. I have in my mind truly committed myself to the idea of TMS.
This to me sounds like you could actually be overdoing it. The goal of TMS is to get back to normal life, not to be constantly engaged in the treatment process, though it can take a long-term commitment. Do you think about TMS for more than an hour or two a day? Have you tried systematic deconditioning (Fred Amir-type)?
Another possibility is that you are having internal awareness of the emotions but that that isn't enough. Do you journal, as well as have internal dialogue? (Journaling helps get things OUT.) Are there major underlying emotional issues which could require deeper exploration with a therapist? This can sometimes be the case.
I can't really say what's blocking you since I don't know you. As I mentioned, it probably isn't the same thing that's blocking Seimon. You sound committed, but there are other issues besides your commitment.
I'm also not 100% convinced from your description that you don't fear the pain, and more generally, aren't emotionally reactive to it, since you say "I am affected by it." Yes, it's probably impossible not to be affected, and it doesn't sound like this is your major problem, but you might explore a bit whether you can let go of it further. This is a good complement to systematic deconditioning: stepping forward to decondition requires a very explicit overcoming of fear and other emotions toward the pain.
--
What were you expecting? |
| mala |
Posted - 09/06/2008 : 18:47:40
armchairlinguist
quote:
You need to commit to viewing the problem as TMS. This doesn't mean you have to buy in 100% to every bit of the theory, it just means, commit to not giving in to doubt and fear. You say "the familiar feelings are back". Well, you have control over them -- not over how you feel, but over how you REACT -- do you reinforce the doubt, or remind yourself that some fear is natural and go ahead anyway. Sounds like the former to me, and you need to be doing the latter.
I really like what you said about us having control over how we react to our feelings. I have taken this to heart and applied it to how I react to my pain. In other words I do not fear the pain.
The thing is even though I try not to fear it and I pretty much try to resume normal activity I would be lying if I say that the pain does not affect me. I have real pain 24/7, have had it this time round for 9 months now. It is not letting up. I have committed to sarno much longer than I have committed to any form of treatment for my back. I read, I think, I tell myself the pain is harmless, I try to think of what is bothering me,I talk to my unconscious mind every day. I have in my mind truly committed myself to the idea of TMS.
Still I am not getting any relief from the pain. I am at a stage where I am pushing myself to get through each day. I don't enjoy life at the moment and don't know or understand why the pain doesn't ease even a little. I don't get it.
I am 50 years old next week , I am told I look like a 35 year old and at the moment feel like an eighty year old.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
| seimon_23 |
Posted - 09/05/2008 : 11:18:16
Thanks armchair. I think you've pretty much hit the nail on the head with that post. Today, I don't feel as bad and I feel better having had my little self indulgent rant (although I can't promise it'll be my last ). Whenever I think about the emotional and psychological factors that create TMS, I can pretty much tick all the boxes. Also, just like you said: if this was all just 'psychobabble', you guys wouldn't be here championing it's cause. In fact, this forum wouldn't be here at all! |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 09/04/2008 : 17:32:58
quote:
Know what the main cause of stress in my life is at the moment? Being in bloody pain all the while
When you reach this point, it's time to start focusing on the concepts and the reconditioning work (which are really the main things), because the emotional work isn't doing it for you. Throw away your mental and physical crutches. Forget about your emotions for a while, except to acknowledge that you have them and that your problem is caused by them. Trust me, if you could do damage to yourself at the computer, me and Hilary and Beth, and Rachel and Nate, and dozens of others just on this forum would be crippled now. (Check the SuccessStories forum for RSI for more.) Instead we're just fine, and happy to be painfree.
The TMS 'work' isn't easy, but the hardest moment is the simplest one: the moment when you decide to believe and commit. It's not so much about 'working hard' as about working smart -- taking a new mental perspective.
Simple but not easy. I'm reasonably sure that's the place where you're stumbling. Many things in your posts (a lot of which I quoted or addressed in my previous post) suggest that you still haven't really committed mentally and practically, and that's the essence of success, so success has thus been elusive.
I feel like my previous post was a pretty strongly worded, but my experience on this board has been that when people get to this point, they need a kick in the arse ('ass' on my side of the Atlantic), not sympathy, because they're really just driving themselves around the bend thinking the same thing over and over. Usually, as in your case "I tried it and it doesn't work, I tried it and it doesn't work" -- well, you've tried it approximately as much as Russia tried communism, i.e. it looks kind of like you have, but you haven't really, because you missed a key step. And you just have to shut this thought pattern down and take that step.
--
What were you expecting? |
| seimon_23 |
Posted - 09/04/2008 : 13:17:08
My thanks, fellow posters once again for your feedback. Your replies certainly are food for thought. Maintaining my belief in Dr Sarno's diagnosis is very hard when I can't think of any occaision when focussing on my emotions has lessened my pain. There just doesn't seem to be any pattern to it. I've filled pages with my most painful emotions and traumas; tried hard to think about what stressing factor has brought on the pain this time and every time I think I've found it it doesn't seem to make any difference. Know what the main cause of stress in my life is at the moment? Being in bloody pain all the while 
Part of me is terrified of throwing away my 'crutches' and going back to how I used to work. What if it's all just psychobabble? What if I really am inflicting long term physical trauma on myslef? Acceptance of TMS and it's treatment requires a huge ammount of faith. And, how long do you have to keep that faith, in pain, before the miracle happens? Weeks? Months? Years? And, in the meantime, all the other treatment programs are screaming at you to stop what you're doing. I don't really care whose treatment program I follow to get better as long as I actually get better. And it's hard sticking to this one when the results other people have enjoyed seem so damned elusive. |
| winnieboo |
Posted - 09/03/2008 : 20:03:12
As a previous proponent of trigger point therapy, massage, acupuncture, physical therapy, yoga and stretching, let me just say, none of these will work on TMS. Nothing works on TMS but the hard labor of psychological exploration. What's bothering you??? Journal, dump at the therapist's office, meditate, whatever methods help you connect to and release your emotions and tension. As Lori suggests, the physical therapies keep you anchored in the physical. I had knots all over my upper back and shoulders for over a year and what finally relaxed them was the PSYCHOtherapy. |
| mala |
Posted - 09/03/2008 : 18:08:29
Thanks for those links Hilary. I clicked on this one
http://tmsrecovery.com/practitioners/
and signed up for their monthly recovery newsletter. The first one I just received is a very comprehensive one on journalling.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
| HilaryN |
Posted - 09/03/2008 : 16:42:17
Hi Simon,
Did you read these posts?
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5017
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5048
Andrew was in a similar position to you, I think, and went to see a TMS therapist. It's probably early days to know how he's doing, but he seemed to think it would help. I think it's tough doing this on your own. I certainly needed help.
There's another TMS therapist in Surrey:
http://tmsrecovery.com/practitioners/
Also, just to remind you of a quote from yourself:
quote:
Some days I'll advance, others I'll retreat but that doesn't mean the 'war' is lost. In the long term, I'll win.
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=4643
All the best,
Hilary N |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 09/03/2008 : 14:39:33
quote:
Almost as soon as I started to think there was light at the end of the tunnel - Bam! My old friend re-asserted himself. And now the old familiar feelings of doubt and fear are back. I'm strongly considering applying physical therpies alongside Dr Sarno's techniques. I just can't completely let go of the uncertainty that there is a physiological problem which COMBINED with my personality / stress / emotional state has resulted in my pain condition.
Well, if you are still getting doubt and fear as soon as you have the least relapse, and are considering physical treatment, then it is pretty clear why you are not getting better. You have not committed to treating your issue as TMS, even though it clearly is, since by conventional wisdom RSI can only get worse, not get better (which yours has, although temporarily).
No, you should not pursue physical treatment -- I don't know who these people are who advocate a 'holistic' approach, but there's no need for it, and no way to tell that it's any better than TMS treatment by itself. You need to commit to viewing the problem as TMS. This doesn't mean you have to buy in 100% to every bit of the theory, it just means, commit to not giving in to doubt and fear. You say "the familiar feelings are back". Well, you have control over them -- not over how you feel, but over how you REACT -- do you reinforce the doubt, or remind yourself that some fear is natural and go ahead anyway. Sounds like the former to me, and you need to be doing the latter.
Commit to not taking physical treament, accept that the issue is emotional and that deconditioning and emotional awareness will heal it over time.
Acceptance that your issue is emotional is not really shining through your post. You talk about physical symptoms more than about what's going on for you. You're busy at work -- did that make you angry? Or was it a good distraction from your emotions, so that you didn't need your pain? My sense is that you'd like to deny that part of it -- that you've "thought about" all your emotions, so why is this still an issue? Well, you don't have to necessarily feel the emotions to improve, but you need to accept that they are powerful and that they are capable of causing your symptoms, not a sense that I get from your post at all. "Thinking about" and remaining detached from the power of emotions is not so helpful; it's just a lot of overanalysis in a different realm.
Why are you even getting ergonomic changes at work? Don't confound one thing with another. Commit and see what happens.
--
What were you expecting? |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 09/03/2008 : 13:41:39
Well of course you need to find what works for you.
What is going on during the weeks you seem to be worse off? Thoughts? Feelings? pressures?
Physical programs seem to anchor PHYSICAL so I did not choose any physical help to restore my back, or should I say, emotional, health. I realize there are those who think it's fine to do along with the emotional work, but how is that clarifying to your brain it is truly emotional and NOT physical? To me that would continue to cause doubt like, hmm, maybe that exercise really did help my "ailment". Which won't heal you of TMS. This is not how those of us in the west have been conditioned. We are taught there must be a physical cause. How sad for us!
I personally would be exploring emotional issues--anything that comes to mind that I find bothersome. Childhood, present, resentments, everyday annoyances, etc. There has got to be something there if your pain persists. I believe in the value of journaling, tho lately on this board I talk about writing about feelings and people completely look past that important part and continue to ask the same questions. Journaling was a key factor in my recovering and current good health! Many docs of various fields see the value of writing about your feelings. It's not just Dr. Sarno. Write about anything.
Best wishes and hoping you find your key to healing. Sending you joy and peaceful thoughts.
-Lori |
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