| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| andrews65 |
Posted - 08/31/2008 : 06:52:36
Hi - Found something interesting I could use some advice on. I could not say "yes" when I asked myself if I was ready to banish pain from my life and move on. I asked myself why this was so and came up with possibles such as "I don't deserve to be pain-free", "I'm scared of the gap it will leave", "I'll have nothing to moan about or to hold me back", "its part of my identity .. if I'm not suffering then who am I?". I'd kind of suspected this, but it was pretty revealing to get such stark answers, especially since I am now 100% sure I have TMS after my recent diagnosis from the top specialist in the UK. I really am not sure, and find it hard to visualize, how I will be if pain free. I'll likely be successful, healthy and happy but I cannot 'see' or grasp this. I do have some big decisions to make career-wise, so maybe this is one reason to keep hold of the pain. This is nuts! ... but on the other hand it makes a lot of sense, and backs up the psychological view; the pain is there for a reason, to give me a reason to not proceed with my life, since subconsciously I maybe don't feel worthy.
Any advice out there ..... thanks, Andrew. |
| 3 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| penguins |
Posted - 08/31/2008 : 17:55:55
Andrew, I just wanted to tell you that I could have written your post myself. The points you mentioned about the need to hold on to the pain are exactly what I have been mulling over for a while now. I know the pain has become a part of my identity. I try to think about what my life would be like if I had no pain. Why am I hiding behind it? Some days I feel that I'm getting closer to being ready to give it up. Other days I think it keeps me safe (again, from what??). I think it lets me off the hook, so to speak, to have the pain in my life. It's maddening. I know I should be journaling, but something holds me back from it. I attempt to, but then am not consistent.
So, I don't have any advice, just wanted to say you are not alone in these thoughts. Take care.
--Jennifer |
| Peg |
Posted - 08/31/2008 : 13:35:01
Yes very insightful Andrew.
I applaud your honesty. When we're truly honest with ourselves, what we find is not always flattering. But we're all human afterall. And I think it beats being in denial or unconscoius of our deeper motivations, feelings and fears.
Good Luck
Peg
In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual. Galileo Galilei |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 08/31/2008 : 09:20:03
Andrew, that's a great insight. I recall Rachel Podolsky, who had TMS in the form of RSI, said something similar, so I will refer you to her webpage. It's a great page.
http://podolsky.everybody.org/rsi/
Likely over time you'll be able to puzzle out the things that are going on for you, and take steps to move on from pain.
--
What were you expecting? |
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