| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| johnaccardi |
Posted - 08/17/2008 : 18:35:15
I've had different mouth and speech symptoms for 11 months. This still hasn't gone away but it has begun to bother me less. I don't think about it constantly anymore. I've now had a pretty bad head ache for 4 days and it won't go away. I'm beginning to get nervous that this is not a normal temporary head ache and that its the symptom imperative. What do you guys think and what should I do???
What should my mindset be right now??? |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| winnieboo |
Posted - 08/24/2008 : 12:12:01
More thoughts how to get at emotions:
I think you stick with present, but then use your reaction to the present stuff to guide you back to the past. How do you do that?
Ask, 'what does this present situation/reaction remind me of'?
Example: you're feeling rejected by someone at a party or in your current family or work, and you remember someone who always treated you that way in the past. Then you open that old book and try to re-read and re-interpret and understand.
So I think use the present as a guide to the past. Then the past can inform the present. And in theory I think understanding our past can help to neutralize the lingering anger and/or pain.
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| winnieboo |
Posted - 08/24/2008 : 08:02:30
Hi Hambone,
quote:
Problem: when in pain trying to spot what emotions to explore
I was just thinking this morning that we should start a thread about that very question. It's a concept that difficult to grab onto.
I know what you mean about being able to spot the stress-of-current-life problems. Easier. I'm not in your area but I'll ask my shrink if she knows anyone in yours--and in Chicago, I think someone needed that. What about calling Sarno's office in New York and asking if they have a referral list? Just an idea....
The childhood and trauma stuff is pretty toxic and haunts me too. The therapy has helped lighten that load and I'm glad I didn't just journal or open a book about the trauma stuff, b/c my memories were fragmented and when they came together they came from several different directions (old journals, dreams, flashbacks) and I'm grateful I didn't do that alone.
Also, Pema Chodron has an audiotape called "Getting Unstuck, Breaking Your Habitual Patterns and Encountering Naked Reality." You can download onto an Ipod. Really interesting and helpful.
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| hambone |
Posted - 08/24/2008 : 06:24:28
Problem: what emotions to focus on when pain starts? My typed list of traumatic life events is ten pages of potential anger, fear, guilt, grief, shame. List ranges from angry parent grinding cauliflower in my face at age 4 to barely surviving Vietnam War. What to do? Journal about each one? I suspect that stresses from life circumstances are more to blame: retired too young, introvert isolated at home, no kids, don't really like myself, relationship just ended, getting older, agonizing whether toe pain is TMS or really needs a second surgery- xray shows bone spurs and loose bone fragment. Does anyone have tips on how to spot the smoking gun emotional issues rather than try to address every conceivable issue and get overwhelmed in the process? Thanks. Steve |
| hambone |
Posted - 08/24/2008 : 06:15:20
Thanks Winnieboo for advice and encouragement. Problem: when in pain trying to spot what emotions to explore. Sarno says could be emotions from childhood, from my personality or from stress of life circumstances. I can spot problem emotions from the stress of life (just ended relationship, no kids, introvert isolated at home, retired too early). But if the symptom imperative is fueled by buried emotions from childhood or my personality then I'm in trouble. I compiled a ten page typed list of "traumatic incidents" producing fear, anger, guilt, shame, grief in my life that could be culprits! They range from having cauliflower ground into my face by an angry parent at age 4 to barely surviving the Vietnam War. Which one(s) is it? Have no idea. Result: confusion on where to focus.
Has anyone faced the same long list of issues and wondered where to focus? Am trying to find a TMS savvy psychologist in the greater Washington DC/Md/Del/Va area. Arlene Feinblatt (NYC) taught me to learn to recognize and feel feelings. Have not found another psychologist in my region who knows how to help me do this. Thanks for any ideas. Steve
STEVEN T HAMBLIN |
| winnieboo |
Posted - 08/23/2008 : 21:45:42
Hambone,
It's more than ignoring the symptoms. Remember to go to the emotions and not the pain. Go to your emotions before the books.
That searing pain is covering up your emotions.
I am in the throes of (hopefully a short) relapse myself (headaches). I'm swamped at work and had to work today and tomorrow, plus a close friend is going through a personal drama and I've been helping her and her family all week. My feelings about this friend are very conflicted.
So, I am totally stressed and as usual, to the outside world it looks like I'm cruising along with everything under control and I THINK I feel that way, but I have a splitting headache and my shoulder pain is returning. On my way to work this afternoon, I felt like turning the car around and going back to bed. I thought, 'I need to lie down.'
I'm so used to that thought! But I caught myself. I see now that thinking I want to lie down means that psychologically, I'm toast.
So, I'm trying to feel all the emotions that are driving the physical pain. I thought I was getting better at it, but not really! Not today! It's a struggle. I'm resenting work. I'm sad and sympathetic for my friend, but I'm also furious with her! And I'm not very skillful or efficient at sorting through it all. At least not yet.
So, yes, my symptoms, your symptoms, the symptoms ARE A DISTRACTION! The emotions are what require attention.
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| hambone |
Posted - 08/23/2008 : 18:23:14
Armchair says symptom imperative will go away if I decide to ignore its symptoms. How does a person ignore searing pain??? Armchair mentions having occasional "twinges" which she tolerates. I'd take "twinges" any day. I've been totally disabled by tms in the past, am fighting my way out of four pain areas now. When the pains are full bore I become obsessed by them despite reading all the books and trying to ignore it. Only when I have the pains reduced to mild can I ignore them. I'm a worrier by nature but am also a human being genetically programmed to react to pain as danger. February was hamstring pain so severe I contemplated ending it all, but am now much better. Steve |
| n/a |
Posted - 08/22/2008 : 17:19:13
Just wanted to follow up and mention that it turns out I didn't sprain a toe - rather, I broke my foot! So I am on crutches now. Interesting to have a non-TMS ailment for once... At the same time, my TMS symptoms seem better because the foot is probably distracting me. |
| johnaccardi |
Posted - 08/21/2008 : 16:42:46
thank you, it makes sense to me |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 08/21/2008 : 01:58:11
Oh, John. You really do seem to be missing the point.
Symptom imperative only operates as long as YOU allow YOUR MIND to be hijacked by it.
Sure, you can go to therapy. I recommend it heartily if you find a therapist you work well with. It will probably help you feel a lot better emotionally.
But you will not get over TMS until you stop caring about the symptoms. When you stop caring about them, they will eventually go away, and they will not come back, except maybe as occasional twinges -- and because they don't attract your attention, they won't stick around, so who cares if there's the occasional twinge?
It is all about your attention. Of course the symptoms are made to distract, but it is you who is choosing to let them. You say "it" changes your mind and perspective. No, YOU do. Choose not to let it happen. It actually is that simple.
--
What were you expecting? |
| johnaccardi |
Posted - 08/20/2008 : 18:03:33
Armchairlinguist I don't understand what you're saying. These symptoms are made to distract. If a certain one is coped with and is longer doing its job then it moves and finds a spot where it can get the job done. I think it will even change one's mind and perspective to get the job done.
Is there a way to be cured from deeper withtin? Does psychoanalysis empty the resevoir?
It sounds to me like being cured is fixing the problem not just being able to put up with it.
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| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 08/19/2008 : 09:18:32
Aww, thanks guys. You're very kind.
--
What were you expecting? |
| skizzik |
Posted - 08/19/2008 : 06:26:54
I agree w/ penguin, nice work armchair! |
| penguins |
Posted - 08/19/2008 : 03:03:53
Armchairlinguist, that's just the comment I needed to read. Thank you! I was thinking about John's question on my own recently and your answer makes total sense. What a relief actually! That kind of thinking helps to remove the "calendar phenomenon". Your posts are truly enlightening for me. Please don't ever leave us!!!!!
--Jennifer :) |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 08/18/2008 : 20:55:03
quote:
Is there anyway for people like us to end the symptoms all together or we for the most part stuck in the TMS cycle forever???
John -- that's the wrong question to focus on. And a classic sign of TMS perfectionism. ;)
You are 'cured' of TMS when symptoms cease to play any negative role in your life -- when they cannot frighten you or stop you from living your life the way you want.
Everyone experiences some mindbody symptoms from time to time, even people who have never had TMS as a full-blown syndrome. It's not terribly surprising if people who do have a history continue to have the occasional symptom.
Sometimes my neck or shoulder or knee gets a bit sore, or I get a cold because I'm overextending myself. Who cares? I'm living a life I love that's in no way limited by spurious physical symptoms. That's where you want to focus.
--
What were you expecting? |
| johnaccardi |
Posted - 08/18/2008 : 14:17:57
Are there people out there who don't really have any symptoms? Is there anyway for people like us to end the symptoms all together or we for the most part stuck in the TMS cycle forever??? |
| Wavy Soul |
Posted - 08/18/2008 : 01:16:10
Yup.
funny and sad
While the Symptom Imperative is marvelous in the way it proves that we have TMS, I have to say that it's really OUTRAGEOUS how it works in my life
I mean, does it ALWAYS have to be F**G SOMETHING?
How about a break you little bugger?
When I think about it, the last few years - or is it decades? - it's been one damn thing after another. The main advantage to realizing about TMS has been that I don't take 'em so seriously, but they still hurt
xx
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
| n/a |
Posted - 08/17/2008 : 22:29:04
I just wanted to chime in on the topic of headaches: I went through a period of a year and a half of absolutely excruciating migraines 4-5 days a week and I know believe it was just a form of TMS. While I have other problems now, I don't even remember when I last had a migraine, and that's despite eating all the "problem foods" and what not. I think it's important to remember that TMS can cause not just pain, but severe pain. So yes, get it checked out, but if they don't find anything, don't freak out.
I have a good one on the topic of symptom imperative: my symptoms have been worse for the last few days (especially the IC). Somehow my unconscious has decided to make me worse when I get my period (making me believe there's a physical connection and all). Well, this morning I wasn't doing so great with the IC, and then I also started getting menstrual cramps. Later in the day, I hurt my toe badly (probably sprained it, my foot is pretty blue) and what do you know, my bladder started doing better. I mean, hello?!
This whole thing is almost amusing at times (in like, a sad way ;) ). |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 08/17/2008 : 20:41:29
John,
I would guess given your background that your assessment is correct, and what Wavy said is also correct: stop worrying. Laugh at the symptoms. Think about the emotional origins and be confident that's where it's coming from.
[If you do have a VERY bad headache or develop any other neurological or infection-like symptoms, though, you should get checked out before assuming anything because there are very rare but serious conditions you could have (aneurysm, meningitis). Normally I wouldn't be feeding any of this kind of info to a hyper-worrying TMSer, but I would never want to tell someone having a potentially serious headache that it was just benign TMS.]
--
What were you expecting? |
| Wavy Soul |
Posted - 08/17/2008 : 18:45:26
Darling,
First of all, sending some empathy. We've all been there.
You ask what your mindset "should" be and I don't want to pretend to know or "should" on you. But for myself, a good mindset is to notice that I'm
WORRYING ABOUT SYMPTOMS!
This tendency has only increased my symptoms, because it's a kind of self-fulfilling vortex.
For me, the big "mindset" game is to keep NOT TAKING SYMPTOMS SERIOUSLY.
Yes, it may be the dreaded "symptom imperative," but so what! This just means that it's another unreal thing manifesting as a kind of temptation to fixate your thinking. The theory we are going on here is that we bring forth symptoms as a temptation to fixate our thinking so that we won't realize that we are "unreasonably" angry.
Perhaps your mindset might be: I'm probably pretty angry if I am making up a new symptom distraction to replace the old. How would it be if I explored the possibility that there is some anger there to feel, express, release, or possibly just acknowledge mentally.
Good luck.
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
| Wavy Soul |
Posted - 08/17/2008 : 18:42:47
my post came twice - don't know how to delete this one |
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