| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| hottm8oh |
Posted - 07/25/2008 : 12:35:20
I started reading "You Can Heal Your Life" last week. There are some things in the book that have been very impactful for me, but there are some things that I fundamentally disagree with. For example, Hay states that we choose our parents. I cannot get on board with this idea no matter how hard I try. Since this is a fundamental basis for her process of healing, should I bother finishing the book since I'll never get past this step? I don't want to keep reading, think more and more that the woman is a total crackpot, and thereby make me question the things in the book that I do agree with. |
| 10 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Pd245 |
Posted - 07/26/2008 : 09:11:56
If you don't believe in what she's saying, I suggest you put the book down and focus on other things. I don't believe her stuff and all, and find much of it ridiculous. She subscribes to the very seductive belief that we have complete control over illness. While that sound great, it's just not true. Cancer, for example, simply is not (always?) connected to emotional issues, and suggesting that sets up cancer suffers who don't heal themselves feel failure and shame. Infants get cancer. Dogs get cancer. There are certain illnesses that just happen. And while I think it's a worthwhile effort to use some of the affirmations and techniques she talks about so that you feel like you're doing something towards healing yourself, it's not a definite cure. So I agree with the person who says it can't be taken literally. Although Hay believes in it, literally. |
| hottm8oh |
Posted - 07/26/2008 : 07:47:16
I have decided to keep reading.
My issue wasn't necessarily a perfectionist issue. It wasn't that I expected to agree with either all of or none of her theories. It was that I was concerned I would not get any benefit from her book or be able to move through the processes she suggests because I do not agree with some of her fundamental ideas. In other words, if I don't believe I chose my parents, will I be able to go onto step 2, step 3, step 4, etc, when it comes to healing issues from my childhood? I suppose I am treating this as I treated Sarno's books--I have to believe that there is nothing physically wrong with me to improve. If I don't believe, then I will never improve. But maybe I do not have to take that same approach with Hay.
I'm still not sure, but I will keep reading. |
| joli |
Posted - 07/26/2008 : 00:57:08
Agree with with the black and white vision.
It is very annoying, and also very draining, we are constantly judging, evaluating, calculating.
I think we need to soften up toward ourselves.
Then we will be more okay with other's not being right/good/smart etc.
I think therefore I am. |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 07/25/2008 : 23:22:18
Right on !
I felt the very same exact thing the first time I read her and the Last time I read her (about a month ago)
That is, there are things, sentences,idea's in the book that I don't agree with, don't line up with my experience,etc.etc.(she mentions Chiro's somewhere and I cringed)
But, what made me put it down the first time wasn't so incredible the next time I picked it up. Remember, no one has all of the picture....
But some of her insights are so poignant and right on, that I find myself more and more open to some of her wackier idea's each time I reread her. I did those drills about my idea's and where I got them (the ones we 'inherit' from our parents) and in spite of the few things I 'glazed over', I had quite an uplifting experience and greater degree of respite from the HEAD TALK that makes my life so intolerable sometimes.
Put it down if it bugs you...but don't toss it. I got it 5 years ago but only went through it in it's entirety this year (with some of your same reservations) She was so right about about so many things, I conceded to the 'I don't know' pile a lot more of those things, and than later when I got results was glad I didn't torch her book completely. Remember, she doesn't have the clinical , medical training of Sarno and most of her information is anecdotal based on the people she's worked with.
In particular I was a bit shocked in the 'wealth and abundance' section when she mentions that the man in the story is a gay prostitute, but only alludes to his finally getting what he wanted materially (Chinese porcelains)...that was a pretty gnarly thing to glaze over so...uhh...innocently?
I still read her...in fact I got her new book sitting here, but I've been engrossed in Eckhart for the time being (and of course Sarno)
-bb65 |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 07/25/2008 : 18:51:16
I think there are two things to be taken away from times we disagree with books/practitioners/theories/each other:
First, sometimes someone or some idea isn't right for us, regardless of how right they are for others. Or isn't right at the time.
Second, we are rarely, if ever, going to agree 100% with what anyone says. Very few of us even agree 100% with Dr. Sarno, and he is our dearest hero.
I think TMSers like to be completely in harmony or completely in disharmony with people. If we are totally in harmony we are "GOOD", if we are totally in disharmony, we are "RIGHT". As as perfectionists and goodists we love to be good and right!
I am reading Byron Katie now and she says some things that I am unsure about or disagree with. Some of them even sound like complete nonsense to me -- as do some of Hay's theories. The first time I ran across one of these 'ridiculous' statements, I wanted to give up and throw the book away. And then I asked myself why the fact that I disagreed with her on this point meant that I should throw her book away when the rest of it was just starting to make sense to me and seemed potentially fascinating and enlightening. So I didn't throw it away. I'm still not sure about these things.
This is a tendency that plagues me in my life too. If someone does something small that makes me angry or unhappy, I will sometimes react out of proportion. Luckily most of the time they don't see this reaction, but there is something very strange going on in my head when this happens that I haven't quite figured out. It's like a switch flips from On (happy) to Off (angry/unhappy) in my feelings about them. After a while the switch usually flips back. I would like to know what's going on and suspect it's a species of this same black and white view as the one where if we want to agree 100%, or disagree 100%.
--
What were you expecting? |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 07/25/2008 : 14:45:54
I focus on the good I take from Louise.
As far as taking literally, I am one who feels there has got to be a reason WHY some people get [condition] and some don't--there has GOT to be something more than they were simply exposed to the virus. Others were exposed too but not all "got" it. Which is why I do believe (as Louise does) that our emotions play a MAJOR role in our physical conditions--regardless of whether a pain, a virus, etc. And there IS proof if you look for it. Plenty of studies and papers on it, but since it's not mainstream and will hurt the medical industry's $$, it's not widely known. Will it ever be? Dr. Candace Pert's (scientist) books contain scientific proof that is very interesting. Dr. Christian Northrup asks women who have fibroids if they are stunted creatively--in a dead end job or relationship? So there are docs coming onboard with mind/body issues.
Dr. Sarno (and others doctors who author books--I can provide a list if anyone is interested) mentions the possibility of cancer as a TMS equivalent--therefore can certainly be a mind/body disorder (my preferred term). If one condition is a mind/body disorder, why can't another condition be? There is a college textbook that had lots of studies--its title escapes me now but I think is in my success story. So evidence is there if you spend the time looking for it and, more importantly, if you are OPEN to it. Again, this is not how we were (in the past) conditioned to see our physical issues.
Certainly not looking for an argument here. I realize it's different than others' thinking and beliefs, and that's ok! I believe what I believe; to each his own! I have seen enough of my own conditions miraculously gone when I attended to an emotional issue at present or uncovered one from the past to believe that anything can be an emotionally caused condition. :-)
-Lori |
| joli |
Posted - 07/25/2008 : 14:15:51
So, as all agreed, there is always great truth in great books but not everything is a solid truth. You need to sort through what is true for you.
I personally but not gladly do believe we choose our parents.
Our parents are our best teachers for good and bad and if you believe in God, what better plan than to have a match that will allow you
to grow in ways you could not with other parents.
Plus, as far as the ego, it will get upset with that notion, cause it's all about the self, but there is a bigger picture.
I think I'm stuck in my egoistic bubble and when i see glimpses of
the true self, then the anger or hurt that you would choose parents that hurt you is gone or at least you have more peace/trust about it.
trust in something bigger.
I think therefore I am. |
| mk6283 |
Posted - 07/25/2008 : 13:52:05
I don't know the context in which she makes that statement, but most religions/traditions that believe in reincarnation would agree that we actually do choose (for whatever reasons) our specific parents prior to returning...
As for Hay, it is impossible to take her work literally. She states personality/emotional causes for things like AIDS, which are clearly virally induced. I think the benefit of her work is in shifting the focus from the physical to the emotional, but it is FAR from scientific...
Best,
MK |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 07/25/2008 : 12:50:12
Some wonderful nuggets I learned from Louise Hay (who will be in L.A. and NYC in November)
FORGIVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS. It is paramount to healing.
Live in the current moment. Don't obsess about the past OR future
We attract things into our life
We create conditions in our bodies by our emotions
Learn to LOVE yourself. Can't love others if we don't love ourselves.
Affirmations do work!
Clear out the beliefs from childhood and replace with positive thoughts
Our parents did the best they could. Look at their parents, etc.
If you continue to feel like a victim, you will be treated like a victim
We CAN get past our past!
LOVE LOVE LOVE
(I'm sure I'll think of more later. This was a good thing for me just now--to write these things. I feel uplifted!)
|
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 07/25/2008 : 12:41:28
Hi Hottie. Not sure I go for that idea either but don't care since I have found her books to have a tremendous impact on me. When I read that in YCHYL I said "well not sure about that" and kept reading. Have found her books so helpful. I recently went to a YCHYL workshop and it was great. Did wonderful work on loving myself and forgiveness of myself and others.
Do what feels right for you.
-Lori |
|
|
