| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| alexis |
Posted - 06/03/2008 : 06:11:52
A number of discussions here have tried to clarify the difference between not repressing your emotions, and actually sharing your feelings with others. The former is what Sarno recommends, the latter something that may or may not be useful depending on conditions (as seen in the recent Rage/abuse thread).
This BBC story I think helps emphasize that "letting it all hang out" is not necessarily what is needed:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7427532.stm
I think it may even go further -- acting as a reminder that the distractions are there for a reason, that we evolved not to think about every negative experience all the time. With TMS this natural protective instinct to distract and forget has gone out of proportion. But to believe the normal instinct is to be eliminated is to go to another extreme, which likely holds its own problems. |
| 5 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| JohnD |
Posted - 06/05/2008 : 15:25:30
I think a big key is to allow yourself to have your feelings. If you don't have your feelings then your feelings have you (in one way or another....tms being one of them).
In athletics for example, the best competitors know how to have their anger and use it to help them. Then there are the just as talented guys whose anger has them, and they don't end up doing well because of it.....they may lose their temper and get kicked out of a game or just make a bad play that is out of character for them |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 06/04/2008 : 22:13:09
Scott, it sounds like you're doing pretty well these days. I did get your message off-forum and I'm glad Facing the Fire is helping you. I really appreciated it too.
I agree that just knowing is not enough sometimes, you have to feel things. But I also think that it's not 100% a good idea to put the feelings out there -- in some situations it can be unhealthy.
Still, I think we can all be a lot more honest than we usually are, and people may be surprised, but not too often bothered.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
| scottjmurray |
Posted - 06/04/2008 : 13:30:33
i think emotions were designed to be expressed fully. i've recently figured out that you can actually get anger up and out of your body completely. intellectually understanding and acknowledging your anger doesn't really do too much for me. what makes me feel better is to beat my bed and curse until the energy is completely discharged. then it's gone.
as far as sharing feelings with others goes, it's really about living in your own reality and not getting caught up in other people's crap. i'm working hard on not letting the compulsions to be nice and civil trip me up with other people, but instead talking right from my heart 100% of the time. self actualization.
i think bottling things up is the worst thing you can possibly do to handle your emotions. are you going to spend your entire life dodging who you are and what you feel, or are you going to dive into it so you can actually REALLY move on from what happened to you?
i'm not even worried about trauma happening to me anymore. if something horrible happens to me i'll just convulse on the floor and scream and cry with existential anguish until i feel better. it works. my bodymind intuitively knows how to get these things out of me if i can just get past my conditioned fear barriers.
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i'm not s#!t.
i'm champagne. |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 06/03/2008 : 11:45:44
I think it is complicated. I've learned some useful stuff from therapy about when it's useful to speak up about feelings, and when it's just useful to know you have them and feel them for yourself, rather than acting on them. It's definitely a balance I'm still working on.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
| Capn Spanky |
Posted - 06/03/2008 : 09:32:00
Interesting. Trying to determine the correct method for expressing and dealing with emotions is confusing. In my case, I had gotten very good at stuffing emotions and it caught up with a vengeance. I've had all sorts of pain and other health issues. After Dr. Sarno, I'm incredibly better now.
I've just barely started reading one of the anxiety books Hillbilly recommended (At Last a Life). The author says to accept your feelings and emotions; and don't run away from them. Accept your feelings... but don't worry about them. I'll admit, reading this definitely brought me some peace. However, I'm a little confused because when I don't worry about my emotions, I tend to forget about them. When I forget about them, it feels a little like stuffing them.
I've only read the first 14 pages, so it will take some time to digest and understand. |
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