| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| stefan |
Posted - 04/16/2008 : 22:37:12
I don't have a TMS doc in the area to confirm my symptoms are TMS equivalents. But I am 150% sure they are!!! Can I ask all of you who are reading this post to please post a confirmation for me, a sort of intervention by the community if you will.
I just read a portion of the Divided Mind where one of Dr. Sarno's fellow physicians spoke of a young man who was suffering from a TMS symptom, was totally convinced it was TMS but the pain persisted until he walked into the office and had it confirmed by the doctor that yes, it was TMS indeed. Whallah! The pain was gone.
Perhaps what I need is for as many of you TMS-ers as possible to do me a BIG favor and just confirm what I already know.
Here's a short history: I read Dr. Sarno's book a couple of years ago and haven't got back pain, foot pain, arthritis pain since. But the symptoms have traveled around my body though and have been pretty weird TMS equivalents. About 4 months ago i got angio-edema, which was swelling around my eyes, the kind Hitch had in the movie - very funny scene, not so funny when you have it for 2 months and it doesn't want to go away. A few prednesone rounds later, the swelling goes down but not all the way. Now I have hives around the front of my neck. I asked the allergy specialist, hey what's up, he says I don't know (he knew to take $600+ for a one hour visit) :) Just told me to take 4 pills of claritin daily (the 24 hour doses each) until things get better. Well it didn't really get better. A couple of months of that and I quit the claritin. But my head broke out with the worst psoriasis I have ever seen anyone have. It is like super dandruff on steroids. I cannot itch my scalp, huge flakes fall off all around me, on my shoulders, on my desk, people look at me like i'm a leper. I have slits in my scalp and my scalp secretes this oily stuff, that I have to change my pillow case daily, my hair gets matted from the oily stuff. (Pretty gross but hey, what do you expect belonging to such a forum :))
Anyway, I know it is TMS/equivalent. To my dying breath I will believe it. Lately I have been feeling way out of control, I am selling my business, moving to another state. Have lots of responsibilities. Even daily chores are just about all that I can handle. I know I must be angry inside, furious, I tried journaling, over-analyzing, talking to my brain, yelling, laughing, etc. etc.
Until I can go on some far away vacation, here's what I need you to do, if you would be so kind, please confirm my suspicions. I would especially appreciate positive posters like Dave, Baseball65 (by the way you must be my brother in some alternate universe)and others who know that all you need is the TMS approach.
I fell I need a TMS intervention. Please help out a fellow TMS-er.
Thank you all in advance.
Ars Longa Vita Brevis |
| 8 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 04/20/2008 : 08:00:08
That makes a lot of sense, if only because that's a lot like 'Ignoring it'.
I was a bit loathe to give you any advice about that. There are always a few TMS equivalents that are a bit harder to ignore than others. I guess it's just the Mindbody's way of letting us know it REALLY REALLY wants to help, but for some of these, like reflux or allergies there are semi-effective drugs, remedies, etc. Acid is a good example.... there are tons of meds that neutralize it instantly. That is almost unfortunate, because that is the one that is probably most common, and also the one ignored the most for what it really is.
I would equate it with Sarno's telling back pain patients to take a painkiller and NOT expect to be out very long when they have a particularly bad pain episode.
As long as you know it's TMS and are treating it as such, wiping your nose would be appropriate. I don't think taking the meds is wrong either as long as you are putting lots of 'head' into the why.
When I had my half day attack a month or so ago, I took a claritin. It didn't really do anything. Than I kept a wad of tissue with me because my Boss gets sort of weird when I show up to our clients facilities with a big old stringer of snot running down my grill.
Most importantly, I kept focused on the anger.... That one was easy to figure. Sometimes it's not as easy... but as long as you equate thinking psychologically with your awareness of the symptoms, the reconditioning begins and the symptoms will evaporate.
-peace |
| stefan |
Posted - 04/19/2008 : 23:36:32
First of all I want to thank all of you who have replied to my request.
Baseball I consider it an honor that you have posted here as well. Wow, thank you for those words of wisdom, it is like poetry to my ears.
Say, I'd like to share something with you that seems to be helping me at this moment. As you probably know, I have had hives for the last 4 months, I suffer from seasonal allergies, get this, 4 out of 4 seasons per year :) where my nose runs non-stop, I get itchy eyes and am plagued with body sneezes. On top of that, the last month or so I have had dandruff with a blackbelt, that leaves my head itching so bad I scratch my scalp raw until it oozes a mysterious oily substance and my shoulders look like I've been snowed on.
Well, the other day I googled the question, "why do I have a runny nose?", one of the results took me to goaskalice.com where it cited some references which of course included the usual advice, anti-hystamines, blah blah blah. But I think I may have found a golden nugget wedged in the rubbish, which said: 'refrain from blowing your nose hard, e.g. when it sounds like you honk'. They went on to advise dabbing the runs instead, because when you blow your nose there are little veins that dilate producing more mucous (very handy when you're sweeping a dusty garage floor). I thought, what the heck, I tried everything else! I should buy stock in Kleenex, on bad days I go through a whole box. Well, whatta you know? Mid-day my nose stopped running, by next day I quit sneezing, it's been 3 days now and I can breathe through my nose.
I applied the same principle to the hives around my neck and the itchy scalp. My hives are slowly disappearing, still there but they aren't the bright red color, just pinky and patchy. Perhaps it's like the mosquito bite, The more we scratch the more it itches, and the more it itches the more we scratch.
From a TMS perspective an itch is a very consuming activity - as long as I give it attention, nurturing it - it persists, acting as an effective distraction. Somehow knowing this helps me to hold back from blowing my nose and it quit running. Now I haven't itched my scalp rash all day today and the same principle is holding true here, it no longer acts as a strong distraction. I expect it to disappear soon. I'll keep you posted and I hope it helps you deal with your rash.
Ars Longa Vita Brevis |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 04/19/2008 : 12:28:08
quote:
Anyway, I know it is TMS/equivalent.
Lately I have been feeling way out of control, I am selling my business, moving to another state. I know I must be angry inside.
But I think I've dealt pretty well with it.
. But it wasn't until we decided to move, that these weird symptoms occurred.
I can't figure out what may be bugging me, I wish I could put my finger on it.
I suppose a TMS doc could help me find it, but I think I should be able to as well, without the $150 per session price tag, which could go on for months. I really can't afford to do so at this time anyway. Besides, everyone around me is pretty closed to the idea of psychosomatic treatment. Most are agreeable to the point that "stress aggravates symptoms." Or "go to the doctor and he'll give you an anti-biotic for it".
Hi Stefan.
Yeah.. The longer I've done this the More I realize how amazing the knowledge therapy is...that is to say, when a 'new' issue arises and I have to dig deeper, get a better picture of what a Pavlovian drooler I am, how it's outside the scope of my, or anybody else's ability to control.Luckily for us we can at least heal, thanks to Dr. Sarno and Freud and Charcot and Alexander and the rest of the boys.
I was really mad about this last round I've won, because I KNEW it was TMS and it was guilty before the trial.... and yet, I couldn't abort it like I've done so many times before?!?
I bought the Divided Mind on CD because they didn't have the book. Maybe it was because I listened instead of read (which sometimes occupies your 'Imagery screen')....but after listening, and listening again I got an even better understanding about the unconscious and how Damn needy it is. I conjured up this image of this.....
rejected by both parents, lonely, ugly, no family, no friends, no achievements, no nothing ,child-ANIMAL.It was beaten until it became savage in it's own defense. It's wishes were 'blocked' so bad it had to go out and find the Divine Goddess herself before it had mated properly. It responded with a series of 'successes'. that it would have perhaps never ever been interested in had it not failed so abysmally....and it NEVER EVER changes because the unconscious, the ID has no sense of time...it's like the stuff happened yesterday...and there is a whole lot of dirty,nasty,shameful,selfish stuff down there. Castle to the curb.... King in the cardboard shack....The Nastiest,vilest,Filth striking a Jesus Christ Pose.
My understanding had to grow again, and I wondered how I ever recovered so quickly the first time. That's the miracle. It's the Dunghill that keeps on giving.
You said that "you think you've dealt pretty well with it"... according to the newest text, we don't, we CAN'T deal with it....it just IS or rather, just ID
...so, that is why I can be certain beyond any doubt. No one else could have told me or proved it to me, because in spite of any sense of epistemological humility I might strike, my ego is HUGE and I have to cut through it with a chainsaw and a blowtorch. (or books and CD's)
Not counting Coup...it's like being sick, or glamorizing the size of your prison cell. There is always a deeper understanding, a broader screen, a piece of the picture we can't quite get in focus.
So, the punchline is... That even if you had access to Sarno himself, the work would still be all done by yourself. I've read posts by his patients and they don't seem to have much of an edge in recovering. I've never seen any TMS doctor, though when I'm frightened and having doubts about some new symptom it always makes my 'to do' list.....problem is, I always get better before I go to such drastic measures. I ought to Mail Sarno a cake or something, huh? Maybe some Yankees tickets.
as far as skin and allergies
I have two spots. One of them only started around 6 months ago,one I've had for as long as I can remember. When I am anxious, I will itch this spot on my calf until it bleeds. There's nothing there...no condition, no dryness, nothing. This winter, it began on my feet...same thing. Had the doctor look at it...he was puzzled. I had dug out about 1/4 inch of flesh by scraping it against my bedpost during my sleep, but there was no 'organic' cause. Maybe that's why it subsided and went somewhere else.
I had a few allergy episodes too. Can't see, eyes swell, runny nose. But No one has ever diagnosed me as having allergies, so they don't stick very well....half a day? My wife, on the other hand has had attacks so bad...her whole body gets covered in hives....her eyeballs look like something out of That Schwarzenegger film where they pull the dome off of Mars....BLAM! She goes to the emergency room or whatever, and gets the shots, pills, the usual.
Being a student of Sarno,it's easy for me to look into her life and see....the skin conditions always come around Christmas, and she works in retail, is one of the top managers in her company and usually has at least 10 people quit and 10 new ones take their place during the busiest time of the year...pretty stock TMS stuff. However, HER medications work so she has never ever made the equation. I stopped trying to proselytize her into the TMS doctrine a LONG time ago. She has pains in her past that make my life look like a disney story.
I've got an Idea that you might want to take batting practice with... Why SHOULDN'T you have a symptom right now?
Your Moving, changing jobs, separating from comfort, friends,familiarity, facing uncertainties about the unknown ...damn..your OWN Business? Selling it? The independence that you won from the world?
Think about it. It's Reductio Ad Absurdum at a really base level, but it worked for me this last time...I made it up all by my fearful,skeptical self. Worked Bitchin'.
Keep us posted.
BB65
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| stefan |
Posted - 04/19/2008 : 07:30:04
Thank you James, I think you hit the nail on the head about being reasonable with myself as well as circumstances around me over which I have or don't have control and my attitude towards them.
In this age of multi-tasking sometimes we lose sight of the real important things in life and all of a sudden everything is important and nothing stands out. Sometimes we just need to stand back and re-assess the situation and put things in perspective. Somehow this morning I can truly focus on what's important and my place in the scheme of things. It's not fatalism, just learning the meaning of modesty in the sense that I should recognize my limitations and that I can't change everything and everyone around me. All of a sudden I am not intimidated by my symptoms but instead somehow accepting of them. Kind of weird but in a way healing.
Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I appreciate it.
Ars Longa Vita Brevis |
| jcoleman310 |
Posted - 04/18/2008 : 18:58:32
You know Stefan, I think you have more insight into this situation than you give yourself credit for. If indeed you are a perfectionist and feeling out of control...that seems reason enough for internalized rage and I think if there is any one thing that underlies TMS, it is rage. In fact you said that you were furious aout your childhood. In my neurology practice, I interfaced with many psychiatrists and they often told me that "rage turned inward would find a physical expression". Rheumatology friends would often use the old platitude, "Angry feelings result in angry joints". So, reflect on those things that you feel are out of your control and see if you can just put them into some perspective....like maybe it's not important to control them but then, don't let them control you. You might not be able to control the situation but you can control your response to these things. I hope this is helpful. |
| stefan |
Posted - 04/17/2008 : 23:38:48
Thank you Logan for the good advice, unfortunately there are no TMS psychs in Kansas that I know of, I am moving to Denver, CO this summer so I will look around for one there.
I am pretty confident this is TMS and the situation I am in now is unique for me and very taxing as well. I am sure my condition will change for the better as soon as my circumstances change. It's that feeling inside, I just know it. It would be nice to get some confirmation from a doc.
J thank you for your concern, I have an appointment with a dermatologist in Denver so that way I can rule out anything serious. All the research I've done basically says angio-edema as well as hives, dandruff is all idiopathic, without known cause, it just happens and it just goes away on its own eventually. But it would be nice to take the edge off of it so it's more manageable.
I am furious about something inside, or sad, I've had a turbulent childhood, my father being a wife-beater. But I think I've dealt pretty well with it, journaling, etc. But it wasn't until we decided to move, that these weird symptoms occurred. I can't figure out what may be bugging me, I wish I could put my finger on it. I suppose a TMS doc could help me find it, but I think I should be able to as well, without the $150 per session price tag, which could go on for months. I really can't afford to do so at this time anyway. Besides, everyone around me is pretty closed to the idea of psychosomatic treatment. Most are agreeable to the point that "stress aggravates symptoms." Or "go to the doctor and he'll give you an anti-biotic for it".
The only thing I can think of is that I am feeling out of control of my situation right now and I am a perfectionist and I need to be in control and no one else can do this or that as well as me.
Oh well, this too shall pass, right? Patience....hmmm? Thank you all for your kind words. |
| jcoleman310 |
Posted - 04/17/2008 : 15:51:53
Hey Stefan,
I'm new to the forum and as I noted a couple days ago when I firsy joined, I am a retired neurologist and also a neuropharmacologist....and I learned long ago not to make "telephone diagnoses" especially when my kids call with symptoms of one thing or another. But if it's any consolation, it sure sounds like a TMS issue. Where do you live? Maybe we could get you to someone who would rule out something else....Best wishes.
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| Logan |
Posted - 04/17/2008 : 00:57:22
Stefan,
It sure sounds like TMS to me. You're literally "cracking up." It would be funny if it weren't so awful. I can't imagine how trying this is for you. I had a mild case of dandruff a few weeks ago after too much sun and I freaked the **** out!
So this is a really distracting symptom you've got. But it's a really common TMS thing. I even saw an episode of Northern Exposure where a character had the cracking on her hands and a native american medicine man told her she was shedding her skin.
Because you're under so much stress and your mindbody is reacting so strongly, maybe it'd be a good idea to find a therapist in your area who, if not a TMS psych, is at least open to the idea of somatisation. That's what I did when I first started my healing journey after reading Sarno's books. It did help. And then I was able to continue on my own and using John Lee's book Facing the Fire.
I hope this helps and I wish you well! |
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