| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| MRosenthal |
Posted - 12/09/2004 : 06:03:06
I wanted to thank all who have given me good advice about my herniated disk pain. I realize more and more that this pain does not make sense to be physical. Why does the pain come and go and not remain constant. Why when something else happens that is frightening, does the pain go away from my back. This morning I had a bloody nose and as soon as I saw the blodd, my entire back pain dissappeared for a couple minutes until I relaxed again. I have so many things on my mind and I am an anxious and analytical person. I think one of the most helpful things was when people on the board say "don't think your pain is different or a special case". That helped me a lot. Although I cannot find a perfect pattern, I still see that my pain comes and goes and the more I think about it, the more it happens. Are brains are so smart it makes it so obvious that our brain can do whatever it wants to mess with us. My only problem now is remaining calm when the pain returns. When I have an attack, I flip out and get negative, especially when an attack occurs after really doing a lot of TMS thinking. |
| 1 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Tunza |
Posted - 12/09/2004 : 12:46:17
Good post. Now I feel like I can see more where you are coming from. You could build on the type of thinking you have demonstrated. Take the pressure off yourself by letting go of the need to prove that TMS is real. I know it's not easy to do when in pain (I've been there and still go there occasionally - but less and less).
Focus on why you are anxious/ analytical. Journal about that (and I've learnt that you can just write or draw for a couple of minutes. Don't feel you have to start a special journal that resembles a book. I throw my scribbles away after I've finished each time. Don't feel you have to be doing "creative writing" like a school project that will be marked. Sometimes I might come up with the same stuff time after time). Or instead of journalling sometimes you could post your fears and possible sources of anger.
I've recently realised just how closely fear and anger relate to each other. I've spent most of my life saying that I never feel any anger other than mild irritation. Interestingly I have had problems with anxiety since I was 8.
You said "When I have an attack, I flip out and get negative, especially when an attack occurs after really doing a lot of TMS thinking". The pain is going to keep doing this for a while. It's not going to let go easily. What I would do is immerse yourself in reading all the books on TMS you can get your hands on, keeping on reading here to build confidence. If you expect it to work straight away you will get impatient and this will cause your "reservoir of rage" to over flow more quickly. It's kind of hard to explain what I mean in writing. It's funny, I remember reading this kind of stuff from others when I first came to the list and being really annoyed - I wanted the process to be quicker and simpler.
It's only now that I have had some of the worst pain in my life recently (sciatic pain) that has responded so well to the TMS thinking that I realise I haven't fought the pain the same way I usually do with pain. I have been excited by it because it gave me really urgent motivation to apply what I have learned. It worked! And I'm getting this silly sort of grateful feeling that maybe this is my life lesson. I'm not a religious person but I feel kind of spiritually elated by this learning process. I still have a way to go but I'm getting there.
TMS is clever. It thinks you will be doubtful if it causes pain after you have been doing TMS thinking. But you can be cleverer (is that a word?). You can reassure yourself that the TMS is feeling threatened. It's job after all is to stop you from delving deep into your thoughts. TMS thinking is delving. Of course it will try this. Just persist.
It will happen. I look forward to reading about your breakthroughs when they come. Remember to celebrate everything, no matter how small. One tip though: I slowed my progress in the beginning by telling my family about some of my successes. They had not read about TMS so didn't fully understand the theory. They were a bit dismissive of my experiences and it made me feel pressure to fully recover quickly to "prove it to them". Now I prefer to share only my 2 close friends who understand TMS.
Kat |
|
|
