| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 04/03/2008 : 21:55:17
Hi everybody.
OK...this is really weird.I needed some input from the TMS nation.
Two days ago, after waking up and doing a vigorous activity I'll omit from the story, My right knee froze. It began as soon as I left this activity.
I had also been teaching the 'En Tre Chat' or however you spell it, from ballet...you know...where you crank your legs the opposite way from where they go to stretch them out...it's a good stretch for pitchers.
anyways...
It felt a little stiff, and as I walked into the paint store an hour later, another painter noticed I was limping. I told him I was fairly sure it was from anxiety, to which he of course rolled his eyes and warned me of the evils of knee injuries.I have never ever had a knee problem,except for short TMS deals....mostly when I recovered from the majority of my pain back in the 90's.
After his speech, I thought I felt the nocebo creep in my head. I immediately began to try and shake it.
I went to work and ignored it like I do all TMS type symptoms. The Demon tries all sorts of ploys and if I stopped to attend to every one, I'd never ever get anything done.
While at work I began to focus on the psychological, like I always do. It occurred to me that my wife is leaving for a trip to Hawaii in a few days and I have always had TMS symptoms whenever someone I love or care about goes away (first TMS episode ever, age 6 or so..frozen neck=Mom leaving to Europe)...not to mention the anger it generates at having to be the solo parent (which I am most of the time anyways)
Meanwhile, I continued to tough it out. A woman at work commented on my limping and the second she said it, I almost collapsed... I literally felt the leg give out as the words "Oh my...why are you limping?" left her mouth.
I ignored it. I even went out and played Baseball when I got home. I noticed the pain subside to zero when I'm not at work, though the stiffness remained....I had to lower myself onto that knee instead of drop into the crouch when I was playing catcher.
Than today, back at work (at the same aggravating job I can't stand that had been fraught with rage inducing disorganization and negligence by my coworkers) the pain from the stiffness got a little gnarly, so I ran to the bookstore and bought "The divided Mind".... I've read HBP so many times I know it by rote, so I figured I'd break the monotony and hear the newer stuff.
When I got home, the pain had diminished to close to zero again, however the stiffness remains.. In fact the pain only seems to come from pushing the stiff thing around and going up and down.
It feels like someone injected chicken fat into my knee.
But, I happened to look into a full length mirror and noticed that my Knee is swollen....there's like a bag of fluid looking thing on the top of it (years of TMS episodes kept me from even looking for 3 days!)It is fine when it's straight, but if I try to bend it it feels GROSS Not Painful..
So..I am NOT in pain, just a little discomfort from stiffness.
I always hit the archives before I post and I noticed a lot of people commenting on the autoimmune system being able to cause swelling. I have had muscles atrophy from TMS (obviously from disuse) and all sorts of weird deals, just never swelling. I DID have my first ever allergy attack a few weeks ago ??? Coincidence?
I worked through my shoulder feeling like an ice pick was in it last summer....If I had gone to the MD I am certain that with all the balls I throw they would have diagnosed something horrible...like torn rotator or something that would have shut me down (I am throwing the wickedest breaking balls ever this spring)
I a bit loathe to go to the Dr, though I am a little freaked out by the swelling and the LACK of pain???
comments?
observations?
insights?
experiences?
I'm sort of wondering if maybe my knee always looked like that and that maybe the stiffness (TMS tendonalgia) is what made me inspect it?....kind of like herniated discs and back pain? Remember... I spend my whole working life on THAT knee and the possibility that it's always that ugly and I just now noticed it is very real...
Thanks
BB65 |
| 4 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 04/04/2008 : 14:23:26
OK....
That was surreal...being in the Temple of the Medical Wunderkind Juggernaut. The Orthopedic-Sports medicine facility.
It was like Susie said. They punctured and drained it. I asked if it would go away by itself and they said it would, but that it would be quicker if they sucked it out. It looked like Beer.
The Doctor was actually really pleasant. I explained my propensity towards Stress/anger related pain and he didn't sneer or laugh, or give the mandatory sigh of contempt.
He didn't seem to think the knee was a big deal. I was afraid he'd give me the laundry list of admonitions and the long story on my 'degeneration' but he didn't. He said that my legs were really strong and that it was just something that 'happened'.
He said I could do whatever I want e.g. baseball, skateboarding, work.
I am sort of glad it happened though... I really haven't spent much time on the 'inside' lately, and maybe it was destined to happen so that I would 'wake up' before I slept walk into a different deal.
I STILL think the timing was impeccable, but I guess there's always more to learn. You guys rule.
-BB65
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| drewski28 |
Posted - 04/04/2008 : 09:17:13
It sounds like a real injury. I often have this dilemma
with pain. I sometimes attribute real pain to TMS
and vice-a versa.
For example this week I went to see a dentist about
some pain in my jaw. I thought it could be a old root canal going
awry. So I sheduled an appointment to see a root canal
specialist.
I was sitting there waiting for the dentist and the back massager
comes on in my chair. I sat there for a few minutes
and when the dentist came back I had no pain in my jaw tissues.
I attribute this whole matter with me not listening to the
Sarno voice.
Time for me to do some inner work.
Good luck |
| Susie |
Posted - 04/04/2008 : 07:58:23
Hi Baseball, I am certainly not a doctor but I make a living in the horse business. I know horses, and I have to assume people, have a bursa capsule in their knee joint.( horses also in their hock joint) Upon becoming puctured, it will form a "bag of fluid" at that site. It does not seem to be painful, but by virtue of creating a swelling, it can make that particular joint stiff. You can drain it, which will give some temporary relief, but if usually fills back up. When left alone, it will naturally reabsorb and is totally harmless. That could explain the absence of pain but symptom of stiffness. I am a 100% believer in tms, but I still think you might have puntured your bursa. |
| Logan |
Posted - 04/03/2008 : 22:17:05
Hey Baseball!
Long time no hear from! Sorry that the TMS demon has brought you back here but glad to know you're still out there.
I'm no MD, obviously, but it could be you aggravated your knee a bit and then with your wife leaving you, the ingenious mindbody said, "aha! I've got just the thing to send him into a spin! Bwahaahaa!!" Because, you know, I imagine the mindbody sounds just like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers.
And it's just about that effective at pulling evil **** once you're on to its evil predictable ways. Basically, I think you're dealing with "irritable sea bass," to use a Dr. Evil analogy. They're annoying and flashy, what with those lasers attached to their heads, but they're not going to do you any real harm.
If it's a real injury, it'll heal. If it's TMS, you know how to get it on the run. You've dealt with worse symptoms than this. I mean, really. Does your mindbody think you're going down like a chump over this? It sounds like you're on to something when you say that you've always reacted to loved ones going away. That's pushing a lot of buttons all at once, fear, envy, anger etc. Dig deeper there. Pound the crap out of an inanimate object and see what image/feelings come up for you.
I know I get super pissy when loved ones get sick because neither my mom or dad ever seemed to care when I was sick. There was no babying, just "go to your room and lay down so we don't have to look at you on the couch," or "blow your nose already and quit sniffling." Wait, how did this become about me? : )
What I'm getting at is there's still, even though, you've done all this "Work" to heal yourself before, there's still "stuff" there from your childhood about this going away thing; and the stuff from your marriage is amplifying that. That's big stuff. OF course your body's going to react to that. Chillax and just let it know who's running the show.
Wishing you the best,
L |
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