| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| moose1 |
Posted - 12/05/2004 : 10:52:25
Hello all,
I've often felt that Sarno doesn't place enough importance on the role of low self-esteem in this theory. He does mention it and does explain that he is a medical doctor, not a psychologist, and therefore does not delve into the issue, which I appreciate. However, I've suspected for sometime that my own low self-esteem plays a huge role in my TMS symptoms and all its equivalents. It would sure be great to find a resource on this issue that is as good as Sarno and which compliments his work. But of course, when you take a look at what's out there for self-esteem books you have no idea where to start? My local Borders has at least 45 books on the topic, all of which are, of course, highly praised on the jacket. Does anyone have any suggestions for a self-esteem book that might fit with Sarno's overall theory of TMS...namely that attitudes, beliefs and insight directly effect your physiology, and changing these for the better can greatly improve your health.
Thanks a lot,
Moose |
| 6 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Logan |
Posted - 12/06/2004 : 01:44:35
Yes, I second Baseball's concerns about being too positive too early on in your recovery but it sounds like you've already done some uncomfortable digging into dark places.
I'll offer my caveat from personal experience though, just to maybe help someone else who's reading this. Before I found Sarno's work, I found this book called Excuse Me Your Life Is Waiting which was all about achieving and maintaining a positive vibration, visualizing what you want and focusing only on the positive etc. There was some metaphysical hoodoo involved but I was mainly focused on the methods for visualizing positive things and keeping a positive frame of mind. I bought the book because I was hopeful that by ignoring the pain and visualizing the attainment of other things and goals that I could defeat it.
What happened was entirely the opposite. By becoming Super Polyanna, what I got was the worst pain I've ever had in my life. What I got was a sinking suspicion I might have the dreaded fibro word. What I got was fired because I didn't acknowledge the communication problems between me and my boss. What I got was a deep disappointment in myself because I didn't have the "whatever it took" to be so positive that only positive things happened to me.
About the same time I found Sarno, I happened to read a book by Susan Jaffers called the Dark Side of the Light Seekers which debunks a lot of new age crap like Excuse Me. The author of Facing the Fire, John Lee, also acknowledges Jaffers in his book for helping him out of the self-perfecting-darkness-denying trap. And it can be a trap, be careful about anything that says it can help you be 100% love, or anger and frustration free because this is how a "good" person is.
Since reading Sarno, I'd say I'm more "negative" but I'm also more real. I'll take real and pain free any day. Pollyanna was probably on her way to some serious back pain as an adult. |
| molomaf |
Posted - 12/05/2004 : 16:15:43
Moose,
The Claire Weekes books are really helpful for the anxiety attacks. By facing the fear, you are not adding to the fear you already have. There is primary fear and then the fear we add on to it which allows the attack to last longer. When you can realize that the anxiety symptoms cannot hurt you, it is so much easier to float through it. It takes a while to accept but you have already accepted TMS and your anxiety attacks are TMS in your brain instead of your back. You have to convince YOURSELF that these attacks are nothing. And they are nothing. They are harmless. Just scary. Once you realize that you won't die or go crazy, they will go away. I haven't had a panic attack in many many years and I am not on any medication.
Michele
PS I think most people have low self esteem- |
| plainchant |
Posted - 12/05/2004 : 13:51:30
Yes, "Taming Your Gremlin" seems to be popular with TMSers. I've never read it myself, but I might in the future. You'll definitely benefit from reading these tried, true, and tested classics, though:
How to Win Friends and Influence People
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
(both by Dale Carnegie)
and
"The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale |
| Tunza |
Posted - 12/05/2004 : 13:18:59
You may like to have a look at "Taming Your Gremlin" by Richard Carson which is a book that some people on the forum have mentioned. The gremlin being the voice in your head that tells you your no good. What I like about the book is how the author talks not about fighting the gremlin (ie repressing) but about observing it and recognising it for what it is.
Kat
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| moose1 |
Posted - 12/05/2004 : 13:02:09
I completely agree. I guess I'm just trying to get past the 60 or 70 percent recovery that I've achieved via Sarno's work. My guess is that the other 30 or 40 percent lies in this self esteem issue, but it's such a murky area that it's hard to know how to approach it on my own.
I feel I've done my TMS work very well, and while my low back pain is much better than it was, say, a year ago, I still wake up most mornings with it, and when I don't, TMS substitutes the morning back pain with anxiety attacks.
Someone recently told me that they rid themselves of arm pain attacks by doing the Claire Weeks "face, accept, float through" tactic. In fact, they actually would invite the pain, egg it on, tell it to do it's worst, and it actually worked. So I think I may try this myself and see how it goes.
Thanks!
Moose |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 12/05/2004 : 12:12:40
Hey Moose.
You know,that's a tough one....I think all of us deep down have that feeling.I know there are a lot of books that address the problem,but sometimes,particularly in the healing part of the process,they might be counter productive.
An example might be Tony Robbins.Now that I'm aware of TMS I can listen/read his stuff and it's motivational and helpful.
However,early in my recovery,I had to dive down deep into the darkness and something of that nature might actually have prevented me from finding out what I was covering up or ignoring.
I was seeing a counselour who recommended Ellis,the guy who developed Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy (REBT) and he has written dozens of books on various psychological maladies and is highly recommended by all for the rapid changes his methods can instigate in his readers/patients.
Just be careful...that Low self esteem can also be the key to your/our/my recovery.I'm not sure Ellis ever made a direct link to any physical problems.
Baseball65
Baseball65 |
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