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 Trying real hard...good days and bad

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sagelady Posted - 03/10/2008 : 10:03:10
I won't rehash my story, you can read it on previous posts. The just of it is- sciatica since last July. Numb little toes and lateral heels. IT band syndrome. ( pain when pressing on outside of buttocks, hips and thighs.) Also have HUGE problem with anxiety. Almost exclusively health anxiety, hypochondia, what ever you'd like to name it.MRI usual stuff, bulge here, protrusion there. Not to bad according to numerous Docs)
Stumbled apon TMS. Read the books. Saw Dr. Schubiner (TMS DOC) diagnosed with TMS. Started his workshop last week. Go for second workshop of 3 tonight.
Overall when I think about the progress I have gotten significantly better over the last couple of months. Back pain pretty much gone. Random leg pains gone. Even numbness in toes has decreased in severity. Hell numbness still there. Some days or part of days , numbness is minor or not therre at all. Other days ithas my attention 24/7. During the last week, since my first workshop I though things were steadily improving. Even walked miles at a auto show yeasterday. No numbness, or occational fleeting numbness that would pass rather quickly. Went to bed last night, convinced this was TMS and I had it by the seat of the pants! Then during night, if i laid on my right side, I'd wake with pins and needles in left foot. And visa versa. Woke this morning thinking maybe this is back related. Putting pressure on one side, then the other. So of course all morning I have had increase in numbness of toes and heels. Can't get my mind off it. And I'm sure this is increasing it.
So what am I asking, I'm not sure. Just really upset with this. And upset with myself for not being able to dispute the physical all the time. Some days, when symptoms are less, yes I imbrace TMS, then days like today I just don't know. I DO KNOW I WANT MY LIFE BACK.And I want it now. Don't know which way to turn. Having a horrible day, anyone out there with some prospective on this?

Sage
6   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
mk6283 Posted - 03/11/2008 : 18:25:09
Sagelady, thanks for asking. Of course, it always does. I suspect it'll soon end for you too. As Steve Perry said, "don't stop believin'."

Best,
MK
sagelady Posted - 03/11/2008 : 10:58:51
Hi Southpaw,

Can't post much right now. But you might want to check out Dr. Schubiner's page on Providence hospital, Southfield Mi. site. http://www.stjohn.org/MindBodyMedicine/ he mentioned in class last night he is/has made a site to do the program online ( at no charge too, I believe).
If you need more info or can't find it, email me, glad to talk to you about it.

Sage
southpaw Posted - 03/11/2008 : 09:42:50
Hi,
I'm not much help because I'm new to all of this but I have very similar pains to you. I've had sciatica type pain for ten years now and the hip and butt pain, plus shoulder pain.
I'm also having ups and downs after reading Sarno books and doing the journals so I'll be interested in knowing how it goes for you. Your lucky to have a TMS doctor nearby. I live in Ontario and there isn't any around here so I'm debating whether to travel or if I can do this on my own.
This TMs is so interesting but so trick to get a handle on!If I can get rid of this sciatic type numbness in my leg I will be so happy because it's been there for 10 years and it has never gone away.
Well good luck,
Keep us posted
sagelady Posted - 03/11/2008 : 02:35:37
Thaks MK and armchairlinguist,

I needed that pep talk, or kick in the a**

Last nights workshop was a boost too. I mentioned what I wrote about my past week, and my set back in round table. Dr. Schubiner made some comments re: this. First that the roaming numbness from toe to heel, R to L is further proof this is TMS. And that my pins and needles in the night is becuase it is the unconscious mind at work while we sleep. He suggested a talk with myself right before falling asleep. Letting my mind know, " not tonight", we will deal with this tomorrow, but leave me alone tonight. It worked. I am writing this after a good nights sleep ( although short ) . Am on my way to work, and will work on the tips you both mentioned.

Thanks again, this forum is as important to my healing as the workshops.

Sage
MK- Hows your ticker behaving? Has the PVC/PAC dance subsided?
mk6283 Posted - 03/10/2008 : 15:15:50
Sagelady, you don't have MS. You don't have any demyelinating disease. You don't have a neurodegenerative disease. You have TMS! Highly qualified neurologists, etc. have already told you this PLUS an extremely thorough and renowned physician in Dr. Schubiner has already diagnosed you with TMS. You have nothing to be afraid of. Hypothetically, let's just say you have some "idiopathic numbness" that won't go away, so what? It's completely benign, means nothing, won't shorten your life by a second, and doesn't hurt you in the slightest (guess that's one of the advantages of numbness :-). So just try and ignore it and KNOW AND BELIEVE that its just your mind playing tricks on you.

It will eventually go away, but you must learn to ignore it and think psychologically first. As long as it continues to serve its purpose in distracting you, it will persist. If you remove its purpose, it no longer will have any reason to linger. I highly recommend that you continue wholeheartedly with the program WITH FULL CONFIDENCE that you are on the right track. OR you can buy a ticket to Minnesota and pay a lot of money to have some more fancy tests done at the Mayo Clinic just to tell you what you already know -- that there is nothing wrong with you. I know I'd choose the former...Good luck and enjoy the class tonight. I supsect you are a success story in the making...

Best,
MK
armchairlinguist Posted - 03/10/2008 : 11:51:23
Let the ups and downs happen without getting too tied up in them. Symptoms do have ups and downs; conquering TMS is a gradual process. Remember it's a strategy of your brain, and the way to defeat it is to not let it work -- don't let it distract you, don't fear it. Give some attention to the psychological, then go about your life as much as you can. Things will pop up and you'll feel doubt, and that's ok. But don't act out the doubt. Use reminders of treatment principles to break the circling thoughts, and act out your confidence and commitment to the treatment process.

One of the best antidotes to fear is the success you've already had. If you had a physical problem, you wouldn't have had so much improvement so far, so hang on to that and keep looking forward.

--
It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment.

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