| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| johnaccardi |
Posted - 03/07/2008 : 14:42:15
Many of the causes of anger that I believe are the origin of TMS stil continue today on a daily basis. How do I deal with this and relieve myself of these ongoing symptoms?
AKA - My dad's been overly critical and controling of me for my entire life and still is even though I'm 19 years old. |
| 7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| johnaccardi |
Posted - 03/10/2008 : 08:09:28
Thanks everyone, great advice, I have set boundaries with my father. I will try to give no signifigance or attention to the symptoms. About the punching bag, I'm actually an amateur boxer, so I get plenty of punching in my routine. |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 03/08/2008 : 08:53:18
John, is it possible to set some boundaries with your dad and say "dad, I appreciate that you care for me, I feel you don't completely understand, and would you please let me make my own decisions. . . " out on a limb there but a sampling of what you could lovingly say to him to show you are your own person who is responsible for your own actions. Or tell him you are hurt when he criticizes you!! I have done that with my dad. I realize he was hurt by his parents too so I try to cut him some slack. Not easy though when you feel you're being treated harshly or abusively! I have set some limits with him though.
Again I suggest doing some writing about what you're feeling here toward your dad. You may uncover something deeper.
I am one who chooses to process the feelings so I can be healed of the hurts and get rid of them. Knowing the feelings are there is fine for those whose pain goes away with just acknowledgement.
I choose to FEEL the feeling, not only acknowledge it and make myself think of something else. I want to process the feelings/hurts so they can be gone and not pop up here and there. Why would I want to keep them there? Plenty of people (authors, people of "authority") believe in ridding yourself of past hurts. Which is what my journaling was often. And there is nothing wrong with doing that. I choose to rid myself of them so they're not buried in my body to keep comng back. And it works! I have seen layers peeled back and things come to me that I had totally forgotten. It's been an interesting and healing journey.
I choose to go with what works best for me and have seen it work wonderfully for others too. 
-Lori |
| Wavy Soul |
Posted - 03/07/2008 : 20:42:42
Yeah - boxing! I'm also learning kick-boxing with my personal trainer at Golds Gym. It's a great way to clear at least the recent anger. The great thing is my trainer just holds the pads, but doesn't punch back, and is okay with me saying F**K You, A**h**le, etc.
Funnily, the kicks caused my leg muscles to spasm and to go "out." So in a circular way, the cure is the cause is the cure...
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
| golden_girl |
Posted - 03/07/2008 : 20:01:25
See, I'm almost 26 and still live at home - my problems came to a head when I was at university and developed severe anxiety and physical issues. So I came home, to the root of all my problems, and have remained here for 4 years. My life would be so much better if I didn't live at home, and I wouldn't live at home if my life was so much better - the irony is not lost...
"F.E.A.R.
Forgive Everyone And Remember
For Everything A Reason"
Ian Brown |
| mountain_hare |
Posted - 03/07/2008 : 19:57:25
Ever thought of moving away from home? |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 03/07/2008 : 16:04:02
You do not need the emotions to go away in order to deal with your symptoms. You need to remain aware of them, and break the connection between emotions and pain. I posted more about this in the "What next after identifying anger?" thread where you also posted.
I feel like I'm about to become shawnsmith here, but there seem to be a lot people around lately who are confused because they think they have to "do something" about the emotions in order to get out of pain. This is sometimes true, but for many people, it is enough to become aware of the emotions and stop letting the physical symptoms distract you from them. When you think about symptoms, stop and refocus your thinking to your emotions. Stay aware of and accepting of the unconscious anger and the conscious anger, frustration, etc, and understand that the physical symptoms come from these. Do not give importance to the symptoms by thinking or worrying about them, and get out and do normal stuff in spite of them. By refusing to give them any importance, you stop the brain's strategy of distraction from working, and the symptoms should go away in time because they are deprived of importance.
Only you can decide if you need to go further with the emotions than awareness and acceptance. Some do, but many don't!
--
It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
| electraglideman |
Posted - 03/07/2008 : 15:14:20
John do you belong to a gym? I weight train on a regular basis. When I have something that has really angered me, the last thing I do before leaving the gym is put on some boxing gloves and pound away on the heavy punching bag until I am completely exhausted. The whole time I'm punching the bag I'm thinking about what has angered me. I feel great when I walk out. Try it. |
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