| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Pd245 |
Posted - 02/27/2008 : 17:01:12
I’ve posted before about my neck pain, headaches, and chronic upper back tension (http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=4218). I took all of your great advice to heart and applied it. My migraines have lessened considerably over the past few months by getting off of the rebound causing medications (the change is amazing), but the neck tension, particularly when I sit down to the computer, persists, and can cause headaches from the tight muscles pulling the bones out of place. I know the bones are out of whack because I’ll start to get the “neck” migraine and I’ll do the dorsal glide move, something in the back of my head cracks, and then my headache goes away in ½ hr. Also, using excellent posture makes the headaches go away. I guess this is a “physical” solution but I can’t give it up because it’s so effective.
As soon as I sit down and use my arms on the computer, the upper arms, the pecs, the muscles under the arms, upper traps, etc. start cramping. This is incredibly suspect to me, and doesn’t make sense. Why would this happen so quickly? I got a follow-up MRI of my neck today just to make double-sure nothing was wrong, because I haven’t seen any changes since I began Sarno in December (my boyfriend insisted I get this test, but I knew it would be normal) and everything looks excellent. Slight degeneration at C7 but it’s normal for my age.
I’ve been doing all of the Sarno work, plus I’ve been meditating 30 minutes a day and working on my thought processes (Eckart Tolle and Claire Weeks have helped with this). I’ve explored everything in my life that causes rage/anger/anxiety. I’ve written about my frustrating personality traits. I’ve started exercising and lifting light weights. But I get on the computer and all the symptoms in the same pattern start up. I laugh at them and they are still there. I continue to work through the cramping, but it gets worse. I’m not concerned about the pain really anymore, but the more I push, the more the symptoms increase, and then those muscles start pulling the neck bones out of place and then the really fun pain begins. I’ve been challenging the pain left and right.
My question is: Do I move onto something else now? Psychotherapy? Does Don Dubin take insurance? There are no good TMS doctors in my state! I just need to see SOME change. Anything! Do I need biofeedback to deal with conditioning? I think that I associate the computer with anxiety about trying to please editors and managers with my work. But it feels so ingrained after 10 years - it feels like it’s a lightning quick process and when I "let go" and just type my muscles don't respond.
Doubts set in about Sarno when you’ve done all of the work and you see no change in two months. Not even after first reading the book. I’m not even seeing my pain moving around. It’s just always in the same place.
I need to get back to work for financial reasons, and am scared that putting my muscles through that might bring the chronic migraines back on, and then I’ll have to quit again (I’ve been resting for two years). The contract company I work with keeps calling me with work, and I’m afraid they’ll stop calling when I’ve said no the tenth time.
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
|
| 16 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| gapeach |
Posted - 03/17/2008 : 10:30:35
Just wanted to pop in and share my two cents...I have also been doing The Artist's Way (just started week 6). I highly recommend it as well, if you haven't started it yet. I had debilitating TMS for the past 2 years (I could barely use my hands at all, my husband had to even dress me sometimes and cut up my food). I have pain in my hands and arms, particularly my forearms but oftentimes all the way up both arms to my neck and shoulders. My pain now, 3 months after discovering Sarno, is much better but still persists, especially when I try to use the computer or write. When I started The Artist's Way it was nearly impossible to write at all (and that was 2 months after reading The MB Prescription), but the pain is gradually subsiding some. I feel "stuck" but when I think back to 6 weeks ago when I started writing daily, I realize that the improvement is there. It's just really gradual.
I'm a struggling writer too and am happy to see that others out there might understand. It's a lonely road and maybe we can encourage each other.
By the way, I had wondered about biofeedback too! Pd, please let me know if you decide to try it, it makes sense to me that it should be helpful. Might help us to learn to control these conditioned responses. |
| southpaw |
Posted - 03/14/2008 : 11:53:00
Hey Thanks Logan for those stupid little songs! I sang them to myself yesterday and made up some more and I had a very good day after a very bad day. Since I am someone who always sings about everything(and annoy my kids endlessly)this really makes sense.
I am just getting back to being a visual artist/illustrator after 15 years of putting it on the back burner so there are many similarities to strugling with writing.
I'm excited now to have something new that works, as crazy as it seems. |
| Logan |
Posted - 03/12/2008 : 11:16:48
Pd,
Thanks for writing back. It's good to "meet" you.
I don't mean to disparage your dad, but what a jerk he was to you. Who says that to a little kid? I'm not even that harsh on my 19 year old freshman composition students. No wonder you are struggling with the voices of your inner critic! Writing is hard for everyone and you had someone make it that much harder for you!
Writing is hard for everyone, though. Maybe that's the reassurance that you need right now. No matter what, no matter who you are or what your childhood was like, writing is just plain hard. It's hard to get started. It's hard to keep going. For professional writers who've been at it for years, it's still hard. It never gets easier, my professors tell me, because one's expectations rise with one's talents and every time you start something new it's like creating a world from scratch.
And that is just damn depressing and anxiety and rage provoking on its own. I'm sitting here today, two years into a 3 year MFA in writing, and I don't feel like writing because, this morning, my inner child/inner writer, inner whatever, is throwing a fit about the seeming futility of it all - I kind of get like this after just having a story critiqued in workshop...
But I'll keep on writing. Why? Because I too wanted to ever since I was a little girl, and I too know that if I don't, some part of me will fester; the festering, I believe was the real cause of my TMS.
Back in 1998, I'd already put aside writing stories for a decade or so in favor of more practical careers, and then I made the mistake of discontinuing my journal because I was so upset that even that writing was not meeting my high expectations...
And WHAM, I was soon hit with neck spasms like electroshock and that morphed into shoulder pain, back pain, jaw pain, and things just spiraled out of control for the next 4 years until I found Sarno and Cameron almost simultaneously.
I see TMS as a gift, really, because it got me started on the path to becoming my whole true self.
Think about this, Pd, how many people ever live up to their potential? How many people stop sleep-walking through life and their jobs and wake up and take that big chance? How many women stop being the "good girl" and get good and angry at the people who hurt them, so that they can heal from that? Not too many. Because it's hard. But if you have TMS, then I think that's a good indication that you have a strong inner "something" that refuses to lie down and die!
And that's a good news/bad news scenario because that something is calling you out to make a "hero's journey" and that journey is going to kick your ass ten times as much as it rewards you. : ) But that's not to say there aren't rewards.
Get the Artist's Way and committ to doing it. I really think this will help you like it helped me. We can exchange emails too, if you like...
Logan |
| Pd245 |
Posted - 03/10/2008 : 13:52:02
Logan - when I read your post my stomach did a back flip. Wow. Thanks so much, it's great to hear from another writer. Your points really hit home. Especially about writing as a profession vs. creative writing. And the critical parent issue. When I was a little girl my parents got divorced (a good thing). My father was very critical and I was incredibly shy. When I visited him I would try to start a conversation (generally by stating a "fact" which little kids do all the time). He would get furious and say "What evidence do you have to support what you've just said?" "Don't ever say anything that you can't back up." Yikes! I understand why he was like that now (kind of), but I still carry that fear of not being thorough enough or smart enough at work, in hobbies, or in my speech. I think I'm definitely following this relationship pattern at work.
The creative writing thing, yep - this is the most frustrating, most infuriating, ongoing problem in my life. I've dreamt of being a writer since I was a little girl, but I can't seem to do it. I get almost physically sick sitting down to *try* to do it. Talk about distraction. I've been trying to force myself for years, fight against the physical discomfort that immediately comes up when I even think about sitting down to write (or even read about writing), fight against that voice in my head that's incredibly critical and also says over and over again "If you were meant to be a writer, you'd want to do it. It would be easier." "You don't have any stories to tell." Etc. My body and most of my mind says I don't want to do it, but there's this other little voice that has persisted all of these years. I've given up putting pressure on myself to write at all for the last few years, and have been looking at other professions. But, I still feel the dream there and still feel conflicted about it when I think about it at all. I'll have to do what you all keep suggesting, journal, journal, journal.
You can't imagine my relief (or maybe you can) that someone with my same symptoms has gotten better. I'm hearing what you're saying about ignoring the symptoms, visualizing yourself before the pain started, journalling, and rereading Sarno. So, I thank you so very much for replying. I'm grateful for this forum every day.
|
| Logan |
Posted - 03/10/2008 : 10:33:43
Whoops, I reread your post and saw that you are already lifting weights etc. Congrats on that! I didn't mean to suggest you weren't on your way to kicking TMS's ass, just wanted to encourage to keep at it.
It did challenge me to sit down at a computer when I was first healing. It's scary. The conditioning is hard to overcome but you can do it. It actually helped me to think about what Sarno said of TMS pain, that it's a kind of "migraine of the muscles." If it's restricted blood flow that's causing the pain, if it's just constricting arteries, well, hell, that can be CHANGED!! You can CHANGE that.
What I did to help get over that is make up some little songs I could sing silently to myself to get my minbody to open those arteries. "Hey ho, I'm healthy you know, hey ho, I let the blood flow" stupid, stupid songs like that but they seemed to work, something about rhyme and repetition sinks in to the sunbconscious.
And sometimes, if the ditties didn't work, I took Excedrin migraine washed down with Mt. Dew all the while telling my mindbody that I knew this was just a shortcut and that I would get to the root of the problem and I'd keep writing, sitting at computers and whatever the hell else I wanted to do because it wasn't stopping me.
|
| Logan |
Posted - 03/10/2008 : 10:23:55
I too am a writer and had my most severe TMS symptoms (almost identical to yours) pop up in relation to computer/editor/work situations. So I journaled about this, a lot. I dug deep in my psyche and saw how disapproving editors or overly critical bosses brought up issues from my childhood and feelings of shame, anger and grief because of how my parents expected too much from me at too young an age: they never really let me be a child and instead expected I act like a little grown up etc.
It wasn't enough for me to read Sarno's books. I had to change the way I thought and acted. First of all, I stopped talking about, writing about, and thinking about my "neck" and what my "muscles" were doing to the "bones" etc. Stop thinking physical and start thinking psychological. This is paramount. If you reread your post, you'll see that you are very focused on the symptoms of TMS and this is exactly the opposite of what will help you.
Starting right now, start acting like you did before the onset of the physical symptoms. Fake it until you make it as the saying goes. : ) Throw out all books, special pillows, ergonomic cushions etc. Stop being "careful" of your neck or any body part. Go for walks. Ride your bike. Join a gym. Live like a strong, healthy person because you are one!
Something you might consider as a writer, maybe you're not letting your inner writer do what it wants. At the same time I started reading Sarno's books I was also doing Julia Cameron's the Artist's Way and this helped immensely. She offers a lot of great writing prompts that will help you get to the root of what is really pissing off your inner child or inner writer or inner demon or whatever you want to call it. : )
It sure helped me to get healthy and get on the track to writing what I really wanted to write, short stories and essays NOT educational copy or feature articles which is what I was doing for those snippy bosses.
And in addition to reading Sarno's and Cameron's books, I got the Sarno's videos which I played over and over as I did housework etc. I also bought Stan Lee's book Facing the Fire and learned how to physcially express my anger. I still do the exercises he recommends and have been pain free for over 4 years. I occasionally log onto this site to remind my mind that I know how TMS works and that I will not let it sneak up on me again. But for the most part, I don't think about my body at all except to note how healthy I feel after working out etc.
You can cure yourself! It does take a brave leap of faith, committment to a new way of thinking/acting, and also cutting yourself some slack and not holding yourself to a timeline. If it's taken two months for you to get to this point, well, it's taken two months. That doesn't mean you can't make radical progress in the next two days, and the ones after that and the ones after that...
|
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 03/08/2008 : 12:29:39
Pd -- it's entirely likely that what runs in your family is TMS, not migraines/neck pain! Don't be discouraged by the history; you can break the cycle.
--
It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
| Pd245 |
Posted - 03/08/2008 : 11:14:26
I am also interested to know if anyone has gotten better solely from practicing mindfulness. It seems more like its used as an augmentation to Sarno or other methods.
Anyway, thank you for your responses. I'm going to keep motoring on. I'm assuming I'm one of the people that will take longer to get better than others. The thing that scares me is that migraine/neck tension runs in my family. My mother had migraines/neck pain and she killed herself with pills and alcohol. My grandmother had migraines too and was an alcoholic and a drug addict as well. My first cousin committed suicide as a teenager because of his migraines. My brothers had horrific migraines as children but they got better as they got older. My father has terrible neck tension that got a little better when he retired.
I hate medication and stay away from it, and I don't drink, so I'm safe there, but a part of me feels like I'm headed down the path of worsening migraines and pain, and it seems like it's just in the genes. Another part of me fully believes in Sarno and is fully committed to head down that path. The part that thinks its in my genes notices that my pain is worse during my cycle and when the weather changes. The part that thinks its Sarno realizes that I've had anxiety my entire life and worsening health during times of stress. Also, all my tests are normal and my headaches and neck pain started later in life than anyone in my family.
Sometimes it seems like the pain is trying to kill you! It's so strange.
Mindfulness meditation is helping me with daily anxiety and noticing my negative thoughts. So, I do find it helpful in that way. But fixing the pain I think will take lots of reconditioning of the mind and the Fred Amir reward/punishment thing isn't working for me.
It's just very confusing! |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 03/05/2008 : 10:15:15
I have to say, I am getting exasperated with all those who keep posting that "being in the now" and "being present" is The Great Solution To Everything. I don't know whether this is true -- it very well could be. My own endeavors certainly involve pursuing being more present. But it is rather difficult to achieve and it's thoroughly exasperating when people just post about how glorious being present is and how it's the solution to all pain without giving much, if any, concrete advice about how to achieve it or even come one step closer to it. Especially if the person who asked a question is in pain. Presence may be the ultimate solution, but I for one was certainly not ready to pursue profound worldview changes until after I wasn't struggling with pain that kept me from doing my job and having a life.
So, those who do this, maybe you should try coming up with some concrete advice about some steps that might help people in pain or in early struggles with emotional issues. Because otherwise your spiritual ramblings are pretty pointless, even if I'm the only one who finds them actively irritating.
--
It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
| DrGUID |
Posted - 03/05/2008 : 06:38:00
Read as many books about the subject as you can. I made progress with The Mindbody Prescription, but it was one of the chapters of The Divided Mind which allowed me to make a *huge* breakthrough. You'll need to keep going until you hit a raw nerve (so to speak) and can really recognise yourself in one of the books.
It does take a while before you are able to resume a full range of activities. I no longer get pain from using my hands while cooking and stuff. I can now type and use a mouse OK (so at least I can work!). I'm no longer turning down overtime like I used to do pre-TMS awareness. I've not yet resumed playing computer games and the like, but I'm sure I'll give these a go eventually.
You might also be doing too much mindbody stuff, which may be causing even more rage. I rarely touch my books now, don't journal and only come on this board if I need the occasional bit of reassurrance (i.e. trying to keep a lid on any pain symptoms). |
| DR. CHRIS |
Posted - 03/05/2008 : 00:03:47
Hillbilly has come up with some excellent news in other threads that is very important. And I am so happy to see how this forum has evolved with more conciousness more answers on how to become present than ever before . Which of course is the death of the pain body. Today I think it is most important to point out that while you are on on you're journey to pain free living. That you start to except the present moment in everything that you do, for example if you drink a glass of water feel the whole process, the pooring of the water it's clearity it's tempature it's taste. Feel it go down hit you're tongue go down you're throat. If you shower feel the enjoyment of the water the whole experience the scent of the soap. Hillbilly brought to my attention the FACT that many of the symptoms of TMS CFS FMS ETC... are sensory perception symptoms. Meaning that outside of the obvious pain which most people become obsessive about. There are many other symptoms that are spoke less of, Brain Fog which was mentioned in this thread. But outside of some of the more obvious symptoms but just as important are the over excitability of the patient's body to tempature. Be it water or outside in the sun whatever heat or cold. This might not be the thread to speak of such things but it ties into the whole practice. And what most patients seem to be living in is the past or future with their thoughts. And a simple exercise of paying attention to the now or to get into the moment and enjoy the process, for example taking a shower. Most take the shower as a means to an end. I must take the shower so I can get to work and they do not live and enjoy that moment. Maybe that is not the best example. Enjoy making a cup of coffee as the process not just so you can drink the coffee. Getting present is the key to success in everything you do. |
| Scottydog |
Posted - 02/29/2008 : 04:34:13
I have just read The Secret by Rhonda Byrnes and have found it the best book that I've come across to encourage positive thinking.
The bumph says 'The Secret contains wisdom from modern-day teachers - men and women who have used to to achieve health, wealth, and happiness'.
So it's not exactly your typical self help guide.
Inside... 'Everything that's coming into your life you are attracting into your life. And it's attracted to you by virtue of the images you're holding in you mind. It's what your'e thinking. Whatever is going on in your mind you are attracting to you.'
I don't hold with all it states but want to put it forward for others who might find negative thinking hard to shift. (In response to the 'voice in your head' mentioned in DR Chris' post). |
| DR. CHRIS |
Posted - 02/28/2008 : 23:41:25
Learn to stop feeding you're "Pain Body" learn to no longer live in you're "Pain Body" Stop the voice in you're head that has a life of it's own. Most everyone in western culture is living or posssessed by the voice's in their head. Those voices are programmed by the past. Live in the now in the present moment and you will have no pain. Tricky but it can be done, Simply by living in the present moment and ignoring the pain body and not communicating to other pain bodies. A pain body is a negative field of energy that runs through you're veins. It is programmed by the past and feeds on drama negative energy and plain old bad news. TMS teaches us we have nothing wrong with us. Western medicine teaches us that we have a million and one new variations with different names of illness, all brought on because when you live in the pain body you are succeptable to illness. Take three deep breathes, inhale and exhale. That is you're first lession on how to get present. |
| Mary Ann |
Posted - 02/28/2008 : 11:44:35
I've been blocked for months also. Not with pain, but with "fogginess". Like you, it was a variation on the theme of fear of not measuring up.
One of the techniques I've just learned that I find really helpful is called "expansion". Basically it is using your observing mind to "see" the anxiety and make room for it in your body. It's a recognition that anxiety is a normal emotion and that it's better to have at it than to struggle against it.
So..expansion: Observe the anxiety. Feel where it is (for you it's definitely your neck). Now BREATHE into your neck. Imagine your breath going into your muscles and making room for the uncomfortableness. Do this for about 10 breaths. And just carry on.
The goal is not to get rid of the pain or anxiety. The goal is to make room for it. Often the side benefit is that it will subside, but really the goal is to just accept the negative emotion as part of the human condition.
I'm still working on this one and I'm finding some definite improvements.
Best of luck!
Mary Ann |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 02/28/2008 : 10:19:14
I would get writing on the fears you're experiencing. Start with:
"I think that I associate the computer with anxiety about trying to please editors and managers with my work". So . . I'm afraid that when I sit at the computer ________ . As you start to write, you'd be surprised at what can come to you that needs to be addressed. WHY do you want to be a people pleaser? Is there more to this? Were you like this as a child? Teen? Whom were you trying to please back then and why? How did you FEEL? Get the feelings out.
Also the other fears you mentioned. . . I see a few things I would be journaling about. One is being afraid that sitting at the computer will bring pain. I see more in your posting but it's up to you to address it. :-)
I did not have less pain just from reading the book. It took a lot of reading and writing to be pain-free. But I got there. I was determined to beat the pain and the herniated disc diagnosis. And I did. Not overnight for sure, but I did it.
Therapy may help you. I also feel that focusing on the pain (and conditioning) keeps us not moving past the pain and its causes. I know it's easier said than done; I've been there.
-Lori
|
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 02/27/2008 : 23:44:15
I would go with it being conditioning, based on what you said. Fred Amir's book has great advice for deconditioning.
--
It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
|
|
