| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| la_kevin |
Posted - 02/22/2008 : 05:44:17
Edited for personal information contained within original post. Please don't mind me.
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| 5 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Alpha |
Posted - 02/23/2008 : 18:08:49
quote:
I still see my life as a journey towards freedom. And I see this TMS recovery approach as a detailed part of that journey.
Again, exactly my approach! When I started my "journey", when I started to get my first symptoms of TMS I tried to do, learn, get as much as possible. I thougt it was about becoming more, better, accomulating knowledge, health etc... but I realized more and more , that the spiritual journey, as which I also see TMS, is about letting go, undoing, detachment... becoming REALLY free. Its the dirty, painful work of emptying oneself of the darkest fear, shame, guilt, pain one can find inside. I still have much work to do, but it seems, that I found the road of undoing tms, now I really just have to walk it and trust, that I have the power to defeat TMS, which is a hard one for me to accept...
I think this quote from the Bhagavad Gita perfectly fits this discussion:
"Fear Not. What is not real, never was and never will be. What is real, always was and cannot be destroyed." - Bhagavad Gita
@armchairlinguist: Yeah, I think you are definitly right. I also feel that shame may be at the core of my inner conflict. I will order the book and see if it resonates with me. Thank you.
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As you think, so shall you become. - Bruce Lee |
| Wavy Soul |
Posted - 02/23/2008 : 15:06:19
I'm in.
I also loved these posts! I often lie in bed feeling these weird sensations, doing what I can to relax through them, accept them, embrace them.
For decades I thought they were an indication of physical illnesses that had not been diagnosed properly - some hidden microvirus, etc. When I believed that, I used to do the same observation, witnessing, etc. of these uncomfortable, weird feelings, but because I was doing it within the context of a hidden belief in illness, I now think I was strengthening the TMS pathways by all that inner attention.
ANd I also did zillions of tension-releasing processes like deep massage, etc. Huh! Waste of time and money after 2 days.
Now, however, I have largely challenged the belief that it's something "real." - in the sense of illness. This allows me to track the sensations with more of a sense of humor, and thus more real detachment. I can feel that slowly I am starting to actually dissolve them. It's like waking up from a long dream, and if I might add a belief system of mine in here -
These sensations are old, old karmic patterns, which can potentially be released through and from the body. We carry them through different incarnations as samskaras (soul impressions). Being in a body allows us to experience them in glorious technicolor and, perhaps, to make choices that release them forever, leading to greater soul expansion. But being in a body with a mind with all its incredible realistic fear belief systems can also make these impressions stronger.
For me, the realization that there is nothing really "wrong" (and I would say this even if I were diagnosed with "cancer", btw, but that's just me) has made the difference between making these pathways of attention stronger (hence more pain) or weaker (hence less).
In my 20s I was a monk - full-on monastic vows in an Eastern trip for more than a decade. I was going for full liberation, and although most of the beliefs of that trip have dissolved, for me, in favor of a more multidimensional approach, I still see my life as a journey towards freedom. And I see this TMS recovery approach as a detailed part of that journey.
xx
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 02/22/2008 : 18:16:39
quote:
the "not right" feeling in the core of my being.
If you guys are anything like me (who knows, but we are all TMSers together), it might be shame -- check out John Bradshaw's books from the library. I think this is still my core tension, even though I've done some work on it. Shame is the constant feeling of "being a bad person". For me a lot of it comes out in needing to be right and constantly worried about messing up (constant tension).
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
| Alpha |
Posted - 02/22/2008 : 17:06:10
Amazing kevin, you expressed EXACTLY what I feel like. Right now, this is the first post here which really resonates with me. Like I wrote it myself! Really cool....
The dark feeling of something is not right, like the subconcious whould say: "You know that something isn't right, we are not finished yet."
This dark inner feeling, like a shadow, a demon. Its almost like a feeling of not deserving to be free of TMS.
I am also trying to get ri of it through VARIOUS sources, spiritual, psychological, physical in the past... but it still feels like I need the key to release this permanent tension, the "not right" feeling in the core of my being.
I also expirienced wave-like muscle shaking in a half-dreamy state, when I woke up at night... I had it in a period of 2 weeks and it was kinda scary, it felt like the muscle all over my body would make a wavelike constant movement, but I felt at peace, because I also realized that it actually was a release of tension... for some time I felt really relaxed back than... unfortunalty I wasn't able to recreate it.
But like you, that proved to me, that ALL the symptoms are produced be chronic tension in the muscles.
The question is still: What is the reproducible key to permanently release the core tension?
I think serious meditation work is a very good starting point, I think a ever hightening level of awareness, presence und emptiness of the mind, which leads to more awareness of emotions, the tensions it self, internal conflicts and how its all connected is the way to go.
This or real deep, systematic emotional release in the style of primal therapy.
I also found that I attitude of fearlessness to the symptoms and kind of loving couriosity towards the symptoms and processes in the body, as well as the strong believe, that nothing is wrong and a release of the symptoms is just a question of time... is a good attitude.
I think on the positive side this condition can lead you to a deep understanding of body, mind and soul and the connections between the realms!
Whatever, I thank you from the botton of my heart for this great text kevin! ;)
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As you think, so shall you become. - Bruce Lee |
| Curiosity18 |
Posted - 02/22/2008 : 15:50:42
la kevin-
For what it's worth, Dr. Schubiner, who is an excellent TMS physician utilizes mindfulness meditation techniques in his treatment program. If you're interested you might want to check out Jon Kabot-Zinn's work. He's published the most on mindfulness strategies.
Peace-
Curiosity
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