| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| pandamonium |
Posted - 02/14/2008 : 03:49:15
Hi everyone,
Just wanted to introduce myself, I found this site a week ago and have really benefitted from reading some of the posts.
My story is that at 16 I had a scoliosis develop so quickly and severely that it required spinal fusion and insertion of Harrington rods. I am fused from T2 to L2. I had no choice over this - I was a child. For 10 years following the surgery I was fine and then I put out my back moving a heavy sofa and in the 10 years since that happened it's been a long slow journey into backpain hell 
Like many of you I've tried lots of things, physio, tablets, osteo, chiropractic, reiki to name a few - nothing worked or only worked for a few weeks (placebo). I have often been in a wheelchair unable to walk a step. In desperation I went back to my doctor and ended up getting another MRI done, this time it showed up an annular fissure at L4/L5. I started searching the net hoping to find that there would be some sort of surgery cure (even though they said it was not bad enough for surgery) and ironically enough this searching led me to "knowledge management" which then led me to Sarno.
I went on Amazon uk and read the 69! reviews of Healing backpain, I got very excited and ordered it right away. In the last 2 weeks I've read and re-read Healing Backpain, I fit the personality and could see myself and my symptons on every page: I get acute attacks of pain like a knife going in at my SI joints and just above in my lower back and have tenderness in the areas he describes.
I'm so astonished that backpain can be caused by TMS, interestingly my counsellor suggested my pain might be "psychosamatic" and I thought she was so full of crap that I stopped going to her! And yet one year on and I read Sarno's book and everything fell into place, I think if my counsellor had told me it was my "unconcious" rather than my concious I *may* have listened, or maybe I just wasn't that desperate yet 
So, for me it's only been 2 weeks but I am convinced I have TMS and my husband agrees and is being amazingly supportive. Already I can feel the pain lifting, my depression lifting and I'm gonna nail that fear thing next!
Before I go I just wanted to tell you what happened to me on Sunday: We decided to go for a family walk, the first one since my TMS diagnosis - and I was debating whether to wear my back support. I know Sarno says throw off these crutches but being only 2 weeks in, I'm still going to get some pain right? In the end I decided not to wear it.
We set off for our walk and within 100m of our home I was in sudden and crippling pain; the sort that normally takes me to my bed and can last days. I was in tears. My husband asked me "Have you been in pain this morning before we left the house?" and I said "No, not at all" and he said "I think you are just frightened that you can't do it" I thought about what he said and realised he was 100% right, FEAR was probably was crippling me. I gave myself a stiff talking to, said I'd lived in fear for 10 years and was not going to do it any more. Guess wot? Within another 100m the pain had subsided and eventually disappeared completely, we walked miles. In a previous life we'd all have gone home, instead we had a glorious walk in the sunshine and life was good 
Even if that's as good as it gets it's 100 times better than life before and I am now looking forward to the future instead of dreading it, I've started lifting up my babies again and am not going to be beaten by this.
And do you know where I reckon most of my repressed anger comes from? Having to have that operation when I was 16. I had to give up my gymnastics and sell my horse (love of my life). Ironic huh?
Sorry for such a long post but I needed to get that off my chest and that can only be a good thing hey?
Amanda |
| 2 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| pandamonium |
Posted - 02/15/2008 : 07:23:34
Thanks Hilary, this site is excellent. I am so glad I found it.
Amanda |
| HilaryN |
Posted - 02/14/2008 : 07:53:36
Hi Amanda,
Welcome! It's wonderful to hear your story.
Hilary N |
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