| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Michele |
Posted - 12/04/2007 : 18:54:18
I had my left hip replaced on May 25, 2007. I have been unable to bear weight on it since then, had every scan and test they can think of, can see nothing, and am scheduled for "exploratory" surgery on December 21. Apparently sometimes the components become loose and it does not show on scans.
On Monday I saw my surgeon for a final question/answer time. He said he'd been thinking alot about what is wrong, and thinks the problem may be in my back. I immediately said, "MY BACK DOES NOT HURT." He proceeded to tell me that in surgery they have to manipulate the leg and hip so much, that I may have "blown a disc" which could be pinching on something in the hip and causing the pain. I repeated, "MY BACK DOES NOT HURT!" He told me he could not do surgery on the 21st without first ruling out anything in my low back, "blown" discs or tumors, things like that.
I reluctantly agreed to the MRI at 11:30 today. I arrived at 11:15, checked in and waited. And waited. And waited. At 12:15 I told the person behind the desk with her thumb up her a$$ that my lunch hour was over and I would call the doctor and go somewhere else. What a waste of my time. I am rescheduled for 9:15 tomorrow morning.
I DO NOT WANT THIS MRI. If you MRI any active 49-year old woman, OF COURSE you're going to find things!! I KNOW I have spinal stenosis, but my back doesn't hurt. I KNOW I have arthritis, but my back doesn't hurt. I am scared to death he's going to "see" something and my brain is going to pick it up and run with it. I WILL NOT have back surgery. In fact, I've already decided that if he refuses the surgery on the 21st because he insists I must have back surgery, then he's fired.
But then I'm also back to square one . . . still on crutches after 28 weeks.
How can I get through this MRI without getting caught up in TMS garbage, and still convince my surgeon to do the surgery on the 21st? Is there any REAL truth to something in the back making my hip so I can't bear weight? It doesn't even seem to make sense to me! |
| 5 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Michele |
Posted - 12/05/2007 : 13:52:48
Hey Lidge! I've gotten pretty good at being a sherpa too . . . backpack, purse over the shoulder, bag in each hand to balance on the crutches. Pretty soon I'll be balancing stuff on my head!  Wears me out, but I call it exercise.
Poor doctors, they just HAVE to find something, don't they? My surgeon is not aware that I am a Sarno devotee, but then again, I haven't told him. I have found that the ortho docs are more interested in rebuilding. I kind of went about ruling out TMS for the pain by demanding he prescribe physical therapy, so I did 10 or 12 weeks of water therapy, and then a month of regular physical therapy. I know it helped keep my muscles strong. He did not say he would need to do back surgery, just said he'd have to wait and see what the film shows. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. He knows I can be stubborn, and he knows I ask alot of questions (I get that from working with lawyers), and I'm not afraid to speak my mind. The one thing I've learned through all of this is you have to take your health into your OWN HANDS!
I hope you feel better soon!! |
| lidge |
Posted - 12/05/2007 : 12:53:39
Michelle-
I have been thinking about you every time I come on this board. I just read your posts and had same thought as you -it seems you have more than resumed normal activity -working full time on crutches!, etc. I can tell you I am not on crutches but do not feel able to do even a small part of what you do physically. So, its clear that is not an issue.
I understand your frustration - I had the opposite happen- Actually since May (like you!) I have had unbelievable back pain and leg pain and stiffness. When I went for various scans, MRIs, they kept writing "hip pain" and I kept saying its not hip pain - its back and leg pain! This led to imaging of my hip that revealed a presumed avascular necrosis (or so said the report) which was then refuted by an MRI, blah blah. As you can see, this is what doctors do.
I fully understand your feeling about the MRI. I think its a good idea to avoid reading the report though this is something I have not been able to do myself. I would say having the films themselves might be useful (if the doctor goes the herniated disc route) inasfar as any doctor (and perhaps you yourself) will be able to see whether something is so pinched as to be obliterated. If you buy Sarno's beliefs, you can only believe that severe pain would come from total obliteration of the space. Your run of the mill herniation does not look like that.
In any case- did your doctor actually say that he would recommend surgery for a disc problem? This seems counter to what most doctors even think - from what you have said there is no neurological involvemement, cauda equina, bladder control issues.
I do SO MUCH understand your thinking on this. I had had blood tests for thyroid disorder and just wanted the damn endo to mail me the results. But no, I had to go in, be told I had elevated antibodies that "may" one day lead to thyroid problem. Then to put the icing on the cake, she hands me a sheet that says the condition could lead to muscle pains. She denied, however, that my labs presently could explain the pain and told me to go to another doctor about it.
What she didn't know is that as someone with TMS, such assertions and predictions get lodged in our brains and totally work against recovery. I knew this would happen and fought mightilty to avoid going back to her but had no other way to get the results.
I have to echo Skizzik- know for SURE in your mind that the purpose of the MRI is plain and simple to protect the doctor. Its seems your doctor probably has no idea about your belief in TMS (am I wrong?) so you may want to give him the heads up that you know the spine of a 49 year old woman will surely show abnormalities (normal ones) and that unless he finds a tumor or complete obliteration of the space you would prefer he keep the results to himself. Believe me, I know this is extremely difficult to do.
BTW, I don't wonder why you had surgery. I don't think having TMS excludes real structural pain. Having both just makes it particularly hellish to sort it all out. I won't tell you how bad I feel about your situation as you clearly are not someone who wants pity but merely to feel good again. I have no doubt you will get to the bottom of this- try to think of this as just more "ruling out" so that you can get to the root of why you are still on crutches.
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| Michele |
Posted - 12/05/2007 : 11:52:15
skizzik - I'm sure there are posters who wonder why I went through with the surgery in the first place. What's done is done, and I felt it was my only choice. It wasn't going to get better.
I had the MRI this morning and was quite calm. I've been telling myself "there is nothing wrong with my back" and I believe if something were pinching, there would be numbness, not pain. And I can't believe a pinch could cause me to not bear weight.
I do want him to do the surgery. Like you said, what have I got to lose, I'm not walking anyway! I had a second opinion on the 28th and he said he would have done everything exactly the same way, including scheduling another surgery at this time.
I do appreciate your kind comments. I treat everything as if it is TMS, and have continued on with my life as much as possible. I still go to my kids' events, go out with friends, go to work 40 hours a week, clean what I can in my house, cook - all on crutches. You'd think if it were TMS it'd be pretty tired of trying to get me to give up by now!! I even have my bike on the trainer so I can exercise too!
mamaboulet - funny you mention the ligament that was causing the problem. That has been mentioned, that perhaps there is a tendon or legament that is rubbing against the implant somehow and causing an impingement that can't be seen. He said there could even be a torn muscle/ligament that isn't visible and they don't repair on their own.
I just pray it is glaringly obvious when he opens me up, and I'm back on my feet in no time.
Thank you both for your support! |
| mamaboulet |
Posted - 12/05/2007 : 06:42:20
Michele, I feel so sorry for what you are going through. What a horrible painful frustration.
I just wanted to mention an experience in which a very small thing was causing lack of healing. My husband broke his leg very badly about 10 years ago. Double spiral fractures. He chose a simple cast instead of getting a rod put in his leg. 6 weeks later there was NO sign of healing. He was in a cast up to his thigh and in major pain. The x-rays showed nothing. They finally gave up and went in for surgery. Turns out that a small strip of ligament was wedged between the bone ends, which didn't allow them to join and heal together. That was it. A little piece of tissue where it wasn't supposed to be.
Since it looks inevitable that they are going to go in and look at your hip surgically, I'm kinda hoping they will find such a simple, fixable problem.
Anyway, since you are stuck with the physical for now, I'm rooting for the simple and fixable. |
| skizzik |
Posted - 12/05/2007 : 04:29:52
Hi Michele, I've been pulling for you
I'm sure you can remember me trying to garner up discussion and dialogue in order to provide enough points of views based on your situation to help you determine if its mental/structual.
I think I tried too hard and scared off any other posts.
I think I think of your situation almost once a day.
ugh..it seems your'e caught in the medical web. 
And you've done nothing wrong, you just want to be pain free, or nearly so. I'm so sorry your'e going thru this.
I won't try to persuade others to respond, I'll just give the first thoughts that come to my head:
An MD insisted on a MRI....I think you have to go. I would think even Sarno would insist. In my town we had a young girl who died of a spinal tumor whose only symptom according to the article was a numb leg. So I'm assuming she did'nt have back pain. The doc needs to cover his a--.
Yeah, then your'e going to get this write up of how your spine differs from a 15yr old spine. ugh...
Perhaps mentally block out everything, and be relieved if they mention herniation there, bulge here, narrowing....etc and as long as tumor, fracture, serious whatever are not present you can be relieved. Try hard not to read the report yourself.
Maybe there is a clue here that it's TMS. The doc is baffled somewhat why your'e still in pain. To the point he's checking other areas than the hip for possible causes of pain. That to me would be a good thing that suggests your'e unique to him that you had a Hip repl and are still in pain.
Maybe TMS is still grasping on to that notion that if hip replacements are 95% successful (i'm guessing) than your'e in the 5% whose surgery was botched or something.
You've been thru the mill w/ this, and it seems there's no way out. My opinion and my opinion only would be that it appears you would have to go thru w/ the MRI and the exploratory surgery. 
I'ts fixed in your mind that they may have adjusted something wrong or bearings are defective, or whatever (I think my mind w/b in the same place yours w/b, so don't be mad w/ yourself). I guess you'll never know till they recheck. And whats the difference? You can't walk anyways, so what have you got to lose?
Maybe after it's all said and done, you can correspond w/ a TMS doc, perhaps the big man himself (can't remember if you already had) and they can conclude you have TMS.
It is as if you are caught up in the ultimalte distraction however. Ugh.....your holidays must be so messed up. And all the questions of hows your hip over and over. And now they want to explain to you what a spine looks like when your'e anything older than a teenager. 
I'll be thinking of your situation all day. In my perfect world you go thru the mill a little more, and your unconcious finally gives up and decides after all these tests and exploratories that it can continue the ruse no more because all the doubt has been removed and you become a success story that everyone here can be inspired by. Again, thats assuming it's TMS.
At this point, it w/b nice if it wasn't perhaps, and they said after the next surgery "whoops the new socket was a centimeter off, and you s/b fine now" and you then become pain free whether you did the TMS work or not. And then the hospital settled for a 100k to you for the pain and suffering.
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