| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| campbell28 |
Posted - 12/04/2007 : 10:16:58
I don't know if anyone will be able to help with this but am guessing q a few people here will have had to deal with a similar situation so any advice would be v much appreciated!
Having been off work with RSI / TMS for a year and a half, I have just applied and got an interview for a PR job (I used to work as a news reporter). I left my previous job because of the RSI but have realised (only in the last 3 months) that actually I pretty much had a nervous breakdown and just didn't notice because I thought all my anxiety / weeping / rage etc etc was due to the RSi.
Because I have only realised this and come to terms with the TMS recently, I am still learning how to deal with all the feelings that keep exploding into my head now that they don't mask themselves with physical symptoms. I also don't think I have totally recovered from the nervous breakdown yet.
I applied for this job because on paper it is a perfect role for me - doing press for an arts organisation, starting in january so I have more time to recover, - and part of me really just wants a job and some money and a 'normal' life back.
However, it will be pretty similar to my previous job as a reporter, which is what destroyed me (although it was also partly due to the organisation i worked for being toxic and generally evil).
I don't actually know, therefore, if I will be able to cope with the role, and I won't know until I start doing it. I have an interview on Thursday. My questions, for anyone who can help, are:
1. People who have gone back to work after a long period of time off - what do you say in the interview? Do you try and explain about TMS?
2. I am really scared about setting myself back if I take the job and the pressure is to much for me. I realise this is something I really have to decide for myself as only I really know how I feel - but has anyone had a similar experience, and how have they coped going back to work? have people taken it slowly, done less pressurised jobs than they did before? or just said bollocks to it, gone back to work and tried to deal with problems / set-backs as they happen?
Sorry this is a rather long post! just feeling scared and seeking reassurance.... |
| 16 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 12/18/2007 : 09:02:07
Actually, that sounds like a brilliant solution, adida! Say you had a health scare and they were concerned for a while, so you stopped work, etc., but it turned out to be nothing in the end.
Wow. That is such a good phrasing.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
| adida |
Posted - 12/18/2007 : 04:56:27
Uff... Same thing with me. I left work due TMS. Now I want a job, which is in firm that is a close client of my former boss. I can't be silent about that. Will it work if I say that some doctor scared me to death, this is somehow the truth. And now with a few months 12+ hours in front of PC I'm sure that I'm ok. What do you think - or some lie is needed.
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". . . Having heard that Henry Taylor was ill, Carlyle rushed off from London to Sheen with a bottle of medicine, which had done Mrs. Carlyle good, without in the least knowing what was ailing Henry Taylor, or for what the medicine was useful."—Life of TENNYSON. |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 12/14/2007 : 14:04:56
Yes, do not mention it. Besides, you didn't have RSI -- you had TMS. :-) But don't mention that either.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
| campbell28 |
Posted - 12/13/2007 : 13:51:20
well I didn't actually get the job so all my worrying was for nothing! I was very relieved I didn't get it though, which helped me sort out some more stuff in my head. For the moment I'm going to apply for things that aren't quite so related to my previous job - and maybe in time I'll go back to journalism. Feeling a lot calmer about everything now so I think on the whole applying for it was a good thing to do, however traumatic it felt at the time. perhaps next time I won't mention the RSI.... |
| DrGUID |
Posted - 12/13/2007 : 07:43:25
quote:
Originally posted by armchairlinguist
Well, if you've already told them about RSI, that ship has sailed.
Agreed, that's not going to help your recovery. Changing jobs helped me though, as did ignoring/not panicing about all the occupational health leaflets and talks and stuff I had to undertake when I started. You need to stop thinking about it, then it will go.
7 months on, I'm still not completely recovered, but my RSI hasn't got any worse, despite the incredible stress I've had to cope with (the latest being my landlord's property being repossessed by his bank the week before Christmas!!!)  |
| carbar |
Posted - 12/05/2007 : 20:45:49
quote:
Originally posted by campbell28
I think the main fear I have is of being put under pressure and putting myself under pressure again. I have learnt a lot about myself and realised that I do tend to do too much because I want other people's appproval - all the usual TMS stuff.
Hmm, this sums it up in a way that was really useful to see today. Thanks.
I am mad still that working "too hard" contributed to the pain I felt from "RSI" and contributed to emotional pain, too. But, I'm realizing that working hard was a strategy that helped me through a tough childhood and now that I am grow up and can take care of myself I can develop new healthier strategies that take into account my emotional and spiritual needs. |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 12/05/2007 : 07:38:34
Well, if you've already told them about RSI, that ship has sailed. I wouldn't do that in the future if I were you (if you do need to send out more letters this time around, which I hope you won't!) -- you're not legally obliged to, and it isn't something you want to advertise about yourself, so it doesn't belong in a cover letter. In that case your best bet is what you said -- say you've recovered and you're fine now.
It might be helpful to talk to your counsellor about the issue of boundaries. This is something I've been exploring with my therapist. Not having adequate boundary between self and others, and thus giving a great deal of importance to what others want of us, is a common TMS emotional issue. You can work on strengthening boundaries and understanding what you want and need separately from what others want you to do.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
| campbell28 |
Posted - 12/05/2007 : 02:53:38
thanks very much for the advice everyone. Yes I am seeing a counsellor which has been very helpful - I actually started seeing one because of the RSI but it then helped me come to terms with the fact that it was my emotions causing the pain. I also write down all the crap I am feeling which also helps.
Penny - I agree, and think the RSI was my brain's way of baling me out of a hideous situation. I would never have left if I thought I was "just" having some sort of mental breakdown.
I think the main fear I have is of being put under pressure and putting myself under pressure again. I have learnt a lot about myself and realised that I do tend to do too much because I want other people's appproval - all the usual TMS stuff. I have only been typing without much fear of pain for the past 2 weeks and I think it really helps that I can just type away at home, at my own pace, not for an assignment or deadline, and stop when I want to.
I have been doing various volunteering and casual jobs while I have been off work, and have started to realise that even pressure from those can make me upset and anxious. Someone asked me to do two or three things - including some typing - at one volunteer place the other day and I wanted to throw things at her head. I am really worried that I'll get the job, go in on the first day, someone will ask me to write out a press release and I'll just burst into tears and run away. But then I've got so much better even in the last two weeks - it would be a month tlil the job started so maybe I would be fine!
I did explain that I left my job due to RSI in the covering letter, but said I was completely recovered (ha ha) and would not need any special adjustments made for me. Which is true.
painintheneck; yes, half of me thinks this is just too soon and I should wait and take it easy and maybe some equally good but less stressful job will come up. I am finding it very hard because some days I feel fine and other days I feel overwhelmed and can't cope. I typed out my application in a very postive mood but as soon as I finished it I felt absolutely terrified, my wrist and shoulders started to feel a bit RSI-ish which they haven't for ages, and I had to go and cry and rip a book up (very therapeutic, i reccommend it, it takes strength and completely goes against my upbringing).
I spent so long in my old job - and my life - pretending I was fine while actually going into meltdown, I just am not sure that I want to fake 'fineness' in an interview or a job again. It's been such a horrendous slog realising and accepting that I'm not fine, I don't want to fall back into my old patterns of behaviour. I can see that trying to explain tms would be the kiss of death, but if they think I am completely happy, flowers, sunshine and bunny rabbits, I feel like I will have to do everything they ask with no allowances made.
Having typed that, I realise that I could just say 'no' if they ask me to do something I think is unreasonable. And yes, I could just leave if I hated it. Oh dear.
It has been very helpful just getting all of this out of my head and onto here - even more so than if I wrote it in my diary. I don't think there are any easy solutions but thanks again everyone for the advice! |
| carbar |
Posted - 12/04/2007 : 21:18:37
hi campbell,
work and finding work was always a big stress for me because I developed my TMS RSI symptoms in high school and had them all through out college.
Sounds like you've made a lot of breakthroughs with figuring out TMS.
I worked for a really toxic and evil org at the start of my teaching career and I still have a lot of resentment and anger about it and how it skewed my thinking and generally sucked. So, that tends to crop up still now that I'm more in tune with my emotions.
Anyhow, I agree with the advice to mention as little as possible with time off. Personal reasons works and then steer it right back to why you will rock at this job.
You will never know if you don't try to land the ideal job. I interviewed for MINE right as I was coming out of all this TMS stuff and I was VERY unsure about my abilities to perform and whether I was fully recovered, but I put on a brave face in the interview and landed the job. And guess what? I'm pretty good at what I do, and TMS pain is gone for GOOD.
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| Penny |
Posted - 12/04/2007 : 19:43:26
My TMS flared b/c I had a meglomaniac client, and in retrospect my pain was doing me a favor (excrutiating as it was)-- it got me out of his nasty bullying grip. I suspect that's what your pain was doing with RSI, trying to get you out.
TMS is very personal. Those people close to you may not be able to accept TMS, so don't expect a mere stranger to understand. Unless your would-be-boss has gone thru TMS transition themselves, I wouldn't say anything about it.
Trust and believe that you are ready to go back to work. If you start your job and your pain flares up, try to consider the emotional triggers and use it to assist your progress. Go to work anyway!
I agree with Art, if you haven't seen a psychotherapist, therapy might complement to your TMS understanding, especially as you transition back to work.
All the best to you! I hope the interview goes well. Remember, IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE JOB, YOU CAN ALWAYS LEAVE!!!!! This is an option us TMSers often forget, b/c we are so busy worrying about letting others down. They don't own you.
Penny |
| art |
Posted - 12/04/2007 : 18:32:24
Trying to explain TMS to a prospective employer is a good idea only if you don't want the job.
Sorry if I missed it, but are you in counseling? Seems as if you could really benefit. |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 12/04/2007 : 18:12:22
Do not tell prospective employers about RSI or TMS. Unfortunately it is not that easy to explain otherwise. I was lucky because I was looking around after grad school, and had delayed somewhat because of TMS, and I just told my interviewer (now boss) that I had been looking around and not found anything before this, which was true. You should try to keep things accurate but vague is ok (e.g. "temporary injury", or "personal reasons"). When they are interviewing you it is your work history they should be focusing on (there are strict limits on how much personal info they can ask -- know the limits in your state!), so it's more important to be ready to answer whether you think you will be prepared and good for the job even with a gap in your work experience.
As for after getting the job, I jumped right into things. In fact I had not even gotten serious about TMS when I started, so the job was my motivator to get things sorted. I think this can be helpful.
As a side note -- K2 -- do you think that in fact applying for the job might have put you under more pressure, thus making your feet worse?
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
| skizzik |
Posted - 12/04/2007 : 17:59:26
quote:
Originally posted by campbell28
1. People who have gone back to work after a long period of time off - what do you say in the interview? Do you try and explain about TMS?
for the love of God, don't go "there" if you want the job.
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| K2toK9 |
Posted - 12/04/2007 : 15:46:21
I am working 4 part-time teaching positions (Mon-Sat) as my oldest will be in college next year and the second child right behind.....I just applied for a full time teaching position but now my feet are hurting more than ever and I think it may have been a mistake.
I know this fear.
K2toK9 |
| koukla |
Posted - 12/04/2007 : 13:02:47
Campbell, I totally know how you feel. I just started feeling better last week and I'm going to start looking for a new job soon. I am thinking about what to tell employers too. They wouldn't want to hire someone who had a real work injury or someone with "mental problems." |
| painintheneck |
Posted - 12/04/2007 : 10:58:14
Maybe if you haven't, now is the time to start journaling and getting to the heart of any repressed or unknown emotions. If you have maybe step it up a bit and really see if you can dig deep. It may help you out.
I'm not so sure I would personally bring up TMS right off the bat to a prospective employer. I think it's more an issue of if you feel the job will work for you.LOL I have a hard enough time explaining TMS to people I've known for years without getting the raised eyebrow look.
If this is too stressful for you maybe you might need to find something else for now to ease back into it. Have you gotten any good counseling through any of this? I live the crying, anxiety, feelings of rage, sadness and multitude of other emotions and I know how hard it is. Do you ever just feel like there is something you just need to get out of your system but you can't pinpoint it? I know that's how I feel a lot. It's sort of like a frustration and all this other stuff comes out but I can't reach the heart of the issue or issues yet.
Sorry to go on like that, anyway maybe more journaling and/or counseling might help you out if you feel like you still need some recovery. |
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