| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| kboogie |
Posted - 11/10/2007 : 20:02:44
i'll try to make this brief.
the sciatic began back in february of this past year. off and on excrutiating pain down my left leg. i had seen my dr., a chiropractor, gotten acupuncture and physical therapy. obviously relief from these things was temporary. in june, i had an mri that showed the heirniation at l4-l5, same as everyone else. but i was feeling better, so no one suggested further intervention.
in july i got bad again, and a friend of mine who had actually seen dr. sarno turned me on to the books. i read healing back pain, divided mind, and watched the dvd lectures. since that time, i have no doubt that my pain is tms. however, after two months of reading the books, watching the dvd, and being in therapy, my pain had only gotten worse. more constant. i happened onto dr. brady's pain free for life and that book seemed to give me even more direction and convince me further the true nature of my pain.
it has been over a month since i began journaling daily, and i have had no relief. i have not had a day without pain since august. my pain has changed from the pulsating sciatic pain to a generalized burning in my leg and buttock. the thing that is most scary to me now is that i'm not able to move my leg in certain directions. for example, sitting in the chair, i can barely lift my foot off the floor. i have to admit this is totally freaking me out and making me wonder if there is indeed something else going on.
has anyone else had a similiar experience? has anyone else taken a really long time to get better? i'm at a loss and getting a lot of pressure from family to go back to the doctor. |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| skizzik |
Posted - 11/25/2007 : 08:09:20
quote:
Originally posted by Stryder
Hi Kristen,
So, you are angry about the pain, you are fighting the pain in your mind every waking moment. You play the movie over and over again. Why am I broken, when will I be cured? The pain takes 100% of your energy just to get thru the day.
Question: Is this you?
Probably, so tell your mind to just let the pain hurt. Don't fight it. The fear response to pain is 10 million years of evolutional conditioning. TMS is using this fear against you. Some types of pain tell your mind that something is wrong. In the case of TMS, there is NOTHING wrong with your body, and your mind is creating the pain as a distraction. So, in the TMS case it is 100% valid to ignore the pain. This concept is not easy to get used to, but it does work, snd the proof is the thousands of us that have already been down this path and have beaten TMS at its own game.
Have Faith. No Fear. Sarno Rocks!
Take care, -Stryder
excellent Stry |
| Jeff4460 |
Posted - 11/16/2007 : 11:21:59
kboogie,
Going back to the gym...that's great. If you were going to the gym everyday prior to your pain...you must have been going stir-crazy the last several months. And not being able to go to the gym is enraging in itself. That surely would compound the TMS issues you were dealing with. Piling on more anger and rage is a bad thing!
Some day soon you'll get to the point where it will hit you...'I just went to the gym, worked out, and did not once think about pain or sciatica or injury or whatever'. That's when you'll have broken this TMS cycle.
Jeff
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| kboogie |
Posted - 11/15/2007 : 13:04:55
jeff-
you are right, i have given up a lot, becuase everything seemed to hurt too much. i stopped going to the gym in february. i used to go everyday and then when all this started, i stopped going. for awhile it was because i didn't realize i had tms, and didn't want to hurt myself further. since then it's been pain and/or lack of sleep. but it was the thing i missed the most. so for the last two days, in addition to the visualization, i have gone to the gym. despite the pain and lack of sleep, i got out of bed and dragged myself there. i am mentally 100 times better than i was a week ago because of it. |
| Jeff4460 |
Posted - 11/15/2007 : 09:27:16
I agree...you're on the right track.
you wrote..."visualization of myself without pain". This is huge in my opinion. You have read the books, accepted the theory, done the journaling, etc... Now it's time to get back to doing the things you may have given up. Or things that you have feared.
Are there things you have given up b/c of your pain? It may be time to start doing those things again. Visualize yourself doing these things sucessfully. Think about how you will feel the day after you complete the task. How happy you'll feel to be sucessful.
Dr. Joseph Murphy is great resource for inspirational stuff that compliemnts the TMS approuch. He has a few books...but I don't want to bog you down with reading another book. There is a handful of websites out there that have some of his quotes. I signed up at his website to get a "quote of the day". This was today's quote, it made me think of your post...
You are like a captain navigating a ship. He must give the right orders, and likewise, you must give the right orders (thoughts and images) to your subconscious mind which controls and governs all your experiences.
Dr. Joseph Murphy
The Power of Your Subconscious Mind
www.dr-joseph-murphy.com
Jeff |
| Curiosity18 |
Posted - 11/14/2007 : 22:08:35
kboogie-
It really sounds like you're on the right path to recovery. I remember my symptoms definitely got worse initially during the depth journaling. My TMS doctor at the time said this was very common. I also found that positive imagery and meditation were a necessary balance for me. Melatonin was also helpful with my insomnia. I know that your persistence will pay off!
Curiosity
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| kboogie |
Posted - 11/14/2007 : 11:56:21
thank you everyone for your posts. i realized that i have been consumed with the pain and how it was destroying my life. then on top of that, depth journaling and bringing up all this crap from my past. i basically had nothing positive going on. so for the last two nights, i have done some de-stressing meditation and visualization of myself without pain and i feel so much better, mentally and physically. |
| la_kevin |
Posted - 11/14/2007 : 03:40:00
WoW Stryder, I just looked at this post and saw that you are talking about the same exact thing I recently said on another post. You're exactly right. The "not fighting" theory is no doubt more powerful that people realize. It's a new one to me but it works much better than struggling in a battle.
Good post. |
| Stryder |
Posted - 11/12/2007 : 21:52:27
Hi Kristen,
So, you are angry about the pain, you are fighting the pain in your mind every waking moment. You play the movie over and over again. Why am I broken, when will I be cured? The pain takes 100% of your energy just to get thru the day.
Question: Is this you?
Probably, so tell your mind to just let the pain hurt. Don't fight it. The fear response to pain is 10 million years of evolutional conditioning. TMS is using this fear against you. Some types of pain tell your mind that something is wrong. In the case of TMS, there is NOTHING wrong with your body, and your mind is creating the pain as a distraction. So, in the TMS case it is 100% valid to ignore the pain. This concept is not easy to get used to, but it does work, snd the proof is the thousands of us that have already been down this path and have beaten TMS at its own game.
Have Faith. No Fear. Sarno Rocks!
Take care, -Stryder
|
| stanfr |
Posted - 11/12/2007 : 10:26:28
kboogie--that's great news! Sieze that momentum and go with it. Don't be dettered by any setbacks.
As for sleeping, im the worst person to ask cause im a naturally lousy sleeper, and i work shiftwork which destroys my internal clock.
But you might want to check out the links on this site--there's one book 'say goodnight to insomnia' i think, that ive been meaning to read. |
| mamaboulet |
Posted - 11/12/2007 : 10:24:02
Take a hot epsom salt bath before bedtime. Magnesium has a sedative effect and is easily absorbed in a bath. |
| kboogie |
Posted - 11/12/2007 : 08:59:39
thank you stanfr. i have had a few days of doubt, but woke up this morning with renewed resolve and big shocker - some movement back in my leg. i got dressed and got in the car without having to pick my leg up with my hands. my brain is very sneaky, but i am more determined than ever at this point to beat the tms/aos.
do you have any tips for sleeping? i'm not sleeping well and it really affects me in so many ways. |
| stanfr |
Posted - 11/11/2007 : 15:31:44
Again, that is why the symptoms have evolved this way--the TMS mechanism (i like the idea of referring to it as a gremlin) wants you to back off, and go back to treating it as physical.
Was there anything in particular that triggered the change in your leg?
Apologizing for 'whining' is typical goodist, self-deprecating personality. Don't feel sorry for your pain, be mad about it.
You don't have to publicize your personal problems, but i hope you give some thought to the two questions i posed to you. Ultimately, you hold the key to beating this. |
| kboogie |
Posted - 11/11/2007 : 14:59:58
i understand about the fear, but that has only been in the last two weeks. for the past three months, i have strongly believed in the tms diagnosis. explaining to my friends, family and co-workers what tms is. i have been in therapy and journaling daily. doing my best to continue my life through the pain.
i know that symptoms change, i have been dealing with ibs and migraines too. the new symptom, the inability to move my leg (i hadn't heard of others experiencing that), coupled with the fact that i feel i have been at this so long and have only had increasing pain, led me to begin to doubt.
i guess i just expected to be better by now. not experiencing compounding symptoms.
i sound whiny. |
| smashist |
Posted - 11/11/2007 : 13:31:03
yeah, the fear barrier is a big one. i think at some point you just "let go" and you're able to laugh at it, do anything you want, and you just get better. treat it like a joke. this is what i'm working on actually, deprogramming this ridiculous fear response. the big barrier.
yeah right. |
| stanfr |
Posted - 11/11/2007 : 11:10:16
kboogie:
First, your story is classic 100% TMS. It's nearly identical to my experience 10 yrs ago, and hundreds of others on this board. So, understand that your experience is one shared by many.
The fact that the nature of the pain changed is a very typical response, especially when someone is 'on to' the TMS 'secret'. It's the fear that's holding you back. period. Instead of being "scared" about your leg movement--rejoice!! This is a clear-cut sign of TMS, and its totally harmless. It's just your brain messing with you, so you've got to respond in kind. Instead of freaking out, defy it, laugh at it, and shout it down. exercize as much as you are able, all the while repeating to yourself (or out loud) that you understand this is a psychological ploy and not physical. Make a mantra out of it. When i first dealt with TMS, i modified a TMS treatment "poem" and rapped it over and over as i ran (in excruciating pain). The pain eventually subsided. It takes time--but your brain will get the message.
I notice you dont mention anything about the sources of stress in your life. You are still fixated on the physical. Have you 'dug up' anything that you feel could be a source of internal stress/rage? What do you think is impeding progress? |
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