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mamaboulet Posted - 08/24/2007 : 08:31:29
Due to a longstanding fear that if I write down my feelings in a journal, then somebody will find out what a bad person I am, I have been unable, over the years, to start a journal. I really need to get over that fear and start learning how to write in a journal. Any suggestions on getting over this hump? In the past, when I managed to write a little bit, I promptly ripped it up and threw it away the next time I read it. Help!
17   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
mamaboulet Posted - 08/27/2007 : 21:42:19
Glad to be of service.
justme Posted - 08/27/2007 : 21:29:52
mamaboulet-

you really mad me laugh about the Black Ops - thanks a bounch
mamaboulet Posted - 08/27/2007 : 09:07:54
Yikes! I started listing possible sources of conflict/rage/trauma in chronological groups (childhood, teen, young adult, etc), and the list started growing and growing and growing. I had to stop when the young adult list wouldn't stop. A few things I hadn't thought about in years cropped up on all three lists.
mamaboulet Posted - 08/27/2007 : 08:00:11
I had almost forgotten how to laugh. Not long ago I started working on bringing laughter back into my life. It is working. Laughter begets laughter. And it's great for this TMS stuff. All this unconscious inner workings stuff reminds me of some of the really badly run restaurants I worked in over the years. No communication, the place is a mess, everybody is so poorly trained that they can't even remember they are there for the customer, everybody bitching about the boss, the hours, the pay...
armchairlinguist Posted - 08/27/2007 : 01:55:42
mamaboulet, the latrine duty line made me chuckle!

Great tactic! Sometimes laughing at TMS is exactly the right thing to do.

--
Wherever you go, there you are.
mamaboulet Posted - 08/26/2007 : 13:29:34
I've been playing around with talking to my "selves."

One of my selves I call "Black Ops." Note to Black Ops:

Your budget has been cancelled. No more experimenting with the autonomic system. Your employees have been transferred to the simple functions department, with full oversight. You've been assigned to latrine duty. We're watching you.
mamaboulet Posted - 08/26/2007 : 06:31:40
quote:
Originally posted by HilaryN

Hi mamaboulet,

I liked this quote from floorten in the following thread:
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2812

"I wrote on the cover page of my journal that it was not for anyone to read, that'd I'd be FURIOUS with anyone who disobeyed this, and that the journal was for the purpose of expressing negative emotions, and not "being fair" to everyone involved. I felt that through this I gave myself the permission to be totally honest in my journal, and if anyone else ever did read it, they had been fairly warned (as well as betraying my trust)."

Hilary N

That's funny. And helpful.
justme Posted - 08/25/2007 : 22:36:52
I journal online on a website called Basecamp. I got the tip from someone on this board. It has been great. Since it is web-based I can journal from anywhere - my office, home, the library, anywhere with internet access. I am enjoying the privacy of it. If you want specific url for it, just email me.
HilaryN Posted - 08/25/2007 : 08:37:58
Hi mamaboulet,

I liked this quote from floorten in the following thread:
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2812

"I wrote on the cover page of my journal that it was not for anyone to read, that'd I'd be FURIOUS with anyone who disobeyed this, and that the journal was for the purpose of expressing negative emotions, and not "being fair" to everyone involved. I felt that through this I gave myself the permission to be totally honest in my journal, and if anyone else ever did read it, they had been fairly warned (as well as betraying my trust)."

Hilary N
shawnsmith Posted - 08/24/2007 : 16:52:23
Try reading Mr. Dalloway by Virginia Woolfe and the consider writing in a streams of consciousness mode. Stream-of-consciousness writing is usually regarded as a special form of interior monologue and is characterized by associative (and at times dissociative) leaps in syntax and punctuation that can make the prose difficult to follow, tracing a character's fragmentary thoughts and sensory feelings.

Read about interior monologue here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interior_monologue

James Joyce's "Finnegans Wake" is considered on long monologue.
An excellent way to journal also.


*******
Sarno-ize it!
Read chapter 4 of Dr. Sarno's "The Divided Mind." Also chapers 3, 4 and 5 in Dr. Scott Brady's "Pain Free For Life" are very important.
armchairlinguist Posted - 08/24/2007 : 16:47:07
Use the rational part of you to help you write down the irrational parts, then.

--
Wherever you go, there you are.
mamaboulet Posted - 08/24/2007 : 16:14:04
Ah, but the part of me that fears discovery isn't rational, so that part of me panics when I write down private thoughts.
armchairlinguist Posted - 08/24/2007 : 15:30:56
The technical aspects of keeping the journal locked are important if you have other people around, but more important is to recognize that having certain feelings (anger in particular), and writing them down, does not make you a bad person. This is part of the pressure that makes it so difficult to be emotionally healthy and honest in our society.

All emotions are part of the spectrum of human experience. Being angry, sad, irritated, disgusted, and whatnot are part of our genuine reactions to the world. So are being joyful and excited, or being anxious. Accepting this is part of accepting all of yourself, making it less necessary to repress emotions, and allowing yourself to act wisely, knowing and accepting how you feel and choosing if and how to express it (to yourself or others) and how to act on it.

Journaling can be incredibly powerful at reacquainting yourself with all of yourself, much of which may be lost to you presently, if you see, acknowledge, and begin to integrate your feelings. This is what happened to me. It can be quite liberating just to know that hey, these feelings are normal and we all have them. Which we all do. :-)

--
Wherever you go, there you are.
HellNY Posted - 08/24/2007 : 10:48:58


I just write by hand in a steno notebook. I keep it in a guest room in my house and I live alone. No one will ever get it. I talk about things that are insane that I would neve rmention in polite company. I talk about things without any editors. I talk about hitting people over the head with bats and rage filled things. COuld get arrested if it wasnt for the fact that theres is big difference between provate fantasies and reality.
mamaboulet Posted - 08/24/2007 : 08:58:23
Thank you. I'll try a password locked computer journal.
Webdan65 Posted - 08/24/2007 : 08:40:30
Well, you can always start a journal on the computer. It is very easy to create a document in Word for Windows and Password protect it.

If you have Microsoft Word for Windows. Type in your journal.

Then, click on the Tools menu. Then the "Options" sub menu. Then there will be a tab for "Security". Enter a password required to OPEN the document.

Save your document. Every time you try to open the document, it will ask you for a password before you can open it. Obviously, use something the people in your home won't be able to guess.

Works like a charm. That way you won't have to worry about someone in your family stumbling upon your notebook.

Dan
kelvin Posted - 08/24/2007 : 08:38:05
quote:
Originally posted by mamaboulet

Due to a longstanding fear that if I write down my feelings in a journal, then somebody will find out what a bad person I am, I have been unable, over the years, to start a journal. I really need to get over that fear and start learning how to write in a journal. Any suggestions on getting over this hump? In the past, when I managed to write a little bit, I promptly ripped it up and threw it away the next time I read it. Help!


If you have Microsoft Word on your computer you can download a journaling guide from the link below which has instructions on how to make the document password protected. Other word processors probably have a similar feature if you don't have MS Word.

Another option is to purchase a diary book that has a key.

I find that I can write more freely and more honest with myself and God if I know that He and I are the only ones who will ever read what I write down.

Kelvin

My favorite TMS files and links http://www.etex.net/kelving (may not work with FireFox browser)

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