| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 08/08/2007 : 08:44:12
deleted |
| 11 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Webdan65 |
Posted - 08/10/2007 : 06:47:29
Selfish, huh? Well then, I guess you're human like the rest of us then.  |
| miehnesor |
Posted - 08/09/2007 : 12:30:00
quote:
Originally posted by shawnsmith
I think, however, that there is presently an unwillingness on my part to consciously embrace angry emotions. One thing that prevents me from doing so is a feeling of compassion towards my father who is older and not feeling well.
Shawn- Just wanted to enforce what others have said and suggest that you give yourself permission for feeling angry about what happened to you as a child. You have a right, no an obligation, to yourself to let these feelings come and be expressed. You are not a bad person for having these feelings and you are not dishonoring your father by having them. |
| Newmom |
Posted - 08/09/2007 : 12:25:21
Shawnsmith,
My TMS began when I was 8 months pregnant and then a more severe attack when my baby was approx 4 months old. Becoming a mom, I had to fully care for somebody else for the first time in my life. I realized that I am selfish and no longer free to do as I want.
Did you have to take care of your handicapped brother? Did the pregnancy scare you that you would again be responsible for taking care of somebody? A handicapped person and a child are both huge burdens.
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| Jim1999 |
Posted - 08/08/2007 : 22:54:03
quote:
Originally posted by Webdan65
I'm no therapist by any stretch of the imagination, but here's my take as an outsider looking in.
...
The other thing I can see is that after the miscarriage, you experienced a tremendous loss. This loss was similar to the feelings of losing your father to another woman. The combination of this new loss probably brought the sadness and anger of the childhood loss of your dad very close to the surface and is probably why your symptoms escalated and became unbearable.
I'm no therapist either, but I'd like to expand on this. You (Shawn) might not just feel a sense of loss, but a sense of abandonment. Dr. Sarno says that, when a loved one dies, the inner self may feel abandoned (The MindBody Prescription, page 26). Obviously, your unborn child didn't choose to abandon you, but you might still feel abandoned.
Jim |
| Webdan65 |
Posted - 08/08/2007 : 20:44:07
Shawn, it's a wicked trade off. Sometimes we find we have to force ourselves to experience or bring to the surface emotional pain in order not to feel the physical pain. Sarno does say that some are so fearful of the emotions, they would prefer the physical pain.
Keep working through it. It's taken me a solid month since my recent acute attack and I still have twinges. I have to force myself to stick with the process. Personally I found it somewhat depressing to focus purely on the negative emotions to get to the cure. Fortunately having gone through it before, I persisted and over time, the pain subsided day by day a little better.
Dan |
| skizzik |
Posted - 08/08/2007 : 15:37:34
Sorry for what you went thru Shawn as you had your youth stolen from you.
Good post Dan.
I've been mad at my mom my whole life. But as my kids get older, all my journal entries lately have been rage at my Dad. I never realized how bad it was. The latter tragedy you went thru shawn surely triggered something in you.
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| Webdan65 |
Posted - 08/08/2007 : 12:23:35
Shawn,
Wow, I'm glad I was able to help link some things together for you. At the same time, I find my recent involvement in this forum therapeutic. We are bound to get glimpses of our own emotional history as we read others problems, stories of success and words of encouragement.
Dan
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| crk |
Posted - 08/08/2007 : 09:59:00
I have tons of childhood trauma myself, but it wasn't until my own pregnancy that TMS decided to show up. I think the childhood trauma sets the stage with all kinds of painful images and angry memories, then the actual advent of parenthood brings it all forward in your mind.
I cannot begin to sort out which parts of my childhood brought on my TMS, but what beat it down was picturing my daughter in my mind and repeating "THAT is where my trouble lies [not her fault or her person, but her existence and my anxiety over her] and NOT here in my back. There, not here." Over and over. I also found (and still find) I have triggers regarding encountering male strangers walking towards me when I'm out running. Again I have to say in my mind "THERE [the stranger] is the problem, not HERE [my back]." And I literally image the two repeatedly. This has been extremely helpful to me. Though the subconscious still takes time... |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 08/08/2007 : 09:19:40
Shawn,
First off, I am so sorry to hear about this pain you have endured..
Depression is said to be anger turned inward and dealing w/ ur parents divorce at 14 no doubt caused alot of internal rage..
I think that when you were about to become a parent yourself alot of those feelings were re-ignited inside of you..
Hope this helps in some way..
Hugs,
Karen |
| Webdan65 |
Posted - 08/08/2007 : 09:15:26
I'm no therapist by any stretch of the imagination, but here's my take as an outsider looking in.
You said the TMS symptoms came about soon after you discovered your wife to be expecting. It's possible that as soon as you started feeling the stress, pressure and likely insecurities of becoming a new father - the symptoms started. I too had my first bouts of TMS pain as a new father. Perhaps there was also some fear over your expected child. Fears perhaps that genetically there was something in the family that would put your child at risk of being like your mentally handicapped brother.
Linking this expected child back to the past - you may have also had fears that you might become like your father and abandon your own child. I believe we all have insecurities of whether or not we'll make a good parent.
The other thing I can see is that after the miscarriage, you experienced a tremendous loss. This loss was similar to the feelings of losing your father to another woman. The combination of this new loss probably brought the sadness and anger of the childhood loss of your dad very close to the surface and is probably why your symptoms escalated and became unbearable.
Fortunately being educated about TMS - you won't hop on the doctor, medicine, MRI merry-go-round.
You said yourself that thought you were over the sadness, but now don't think so. I believe you are exactly right. It's all connected and still in your subconscious.
I forget whether it was Sarno, Schechter, Sopher or Brady. But the subconscious mind has no sense of time. Something that occurred 20 years ago, still buried in the subconscious reservoir of rage instantly becomes current emotional pain the minute it bubbles to the surface.
Keep digging deep. Sounds like you are on the right track.
I hope this helps.
Dan |
| mikescott_98 |
Posted - 08/08/2007 : 09:11:42
Shawn,
I would not discount the childhood as being a part of it, but the Jan and April news would cause incredible pressures, worries, and sadness. That alone would have caused a TMS episode in any of us. |
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