| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| jrnythpst |
Posted - 08/02/2007 : 20:12:39
I just finished reading a post by rjm who said he/she (sorry didn't/don't remember gender) and they mentioned (I want to say he) getting back to what he used to enjoy. (guitar playing, music, video games).
My question is: how many people have noticed that they unintentionally gave up the things they used to love to enjoy doing?
I am wondering if this is one of the culprits to tms pain. I used to draw a lot, write poetry, do karaoke, spanish, volunteer, and write more creatively. I'm not sure when/why I stopped over the years other than I am most definitely my own worst critic and never felt my best was good enough for me. Other people love my stuff but for me...just not good enough. But they were also good outlets and it bums me out sometimes that I am not as artsy as I once was. But then I am scared at what quality I would get now after so much time. I mean I draw maybe 1-2 portraits a year and every other one turns out decently. I have to be in the mood to draw and it just hasn't been there lately. I would love to take more art classes and learn sign language and get back to my spanish (which the spanish part I plan to with my masters as they are adding on a spanish certification component in the next year or so). I've also been on a walker since November and that is VERY depressing...I feel less than human sometimes. I used to envy skinny people (always been slightly overweight and picked on about it) but now I just envy people's legs/knees if they can walk normally. I know envy is a cardinal sin but I can't help it. and no I am not that religious which I have been told my some friends that my lack or uncertainity of spirituality is leading to some of my pain...I just don't know. I think I probably meant to write more on this but I am sooo tired...been going to bed at midnight, getting up at 6ish and driving 33 miles each way to work in a different county. Sooooo any help/advise/words of encouragement or even constructive criticism are extremely welcome.
Cheers!
Ali Cat
Hugs,
Ali Cat |
| 10 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Kristin |
Posted - 08/07/2007 : 11:23:40
The label "laziness" is like distraction. I think "blocked" could be substituted for laziness.
I'm finding an interesting dichotomy when it involves the inner child. TMS sees the inner child almost as the protagonist, seeking attention with physical symptoms-tantrums of a sort. Artists often seek to free the inner child. It's like being a parent to yourself, creating safe boundaries but nuturing the sensitive receptive individual developing inside. Like parenting our offspring, parenting or re-parenting ourselves is difficult.
I have had to struggle with accepting creative outlets as more of a birthright or neccesity to my survival than a distraction. It's satisfying and fullfilling. Maybe it helps uncover the deeper TMS issues by addressing the sub-conscious.
Ali Cat, I give up things I love to do, when I don't prioritize for them or think that drudgery chores are more important. My goodist will clean, do laundry, etc, as a distraction from doing the things I love to do. It sucks. Of course I can also get mad doing those chores when others at home arent' doing their share or up to my "standards". I'm trying to overcome these problems. |
| carbar |
Posted - 08/05/2007 : 21:02:47
quote:
Originally posted by art
I think it's probably more useful to understand laziness as a failure to love oneself sufficiently.
Whoa. Art. That's a great insight. i'm not sure I agree, but definitely worth reflecting on.
It's interesting how us perfectionists work. We want to be everything. When we are NOT that, we beat up on ourselves. We refuse to accept the present moment.
Ali is saying she is commuting an hour to a new job and working on a masters. That sounds like it takes up SOOOOOOO much time! Where in the 168 hours of the week could you fit in ALL of your hobbies?
Is wanting to do more language, more drawing, more writing a TMS equivalent distraction from anger about a lack of free time? Or anger about commuting and missing more of your home life? Or lonliness of working/commuting more?
Is this a deep seated inner child anger about the weight of being a grownup who doesn't have the free time that the child once did to leisurely explore the world?
This has got me thinking!
|
| art |
Posted - 08/05/2007 : 18:56:31
quote:
My problem is lack of motivation to do the things I want to
...
This strikes me as contradictory in a benign kind of way. If I say I want to learn a language, but don't do it, what that probably really means is I like the *idea* of learning a language, or I'd love to have *already* learned a language, but as to the mildly painful job of actually sitting down and studying a foreign language evry day for an hour or two, well that's not so appealing...If it were, we'd all be learning languages to beat the band...
Laziness abounds in the world. I have a friend who in his mid-50s is overweight, has high blood pressure, incipient diabetes, and yet despite the fact that he worries about his health, is not making the slightest effort to alter his behaviors. Like the lax aspiring language learner, he likes the *idea* of going on a diet and working out and ultimately improving his health, but he's not willing to undergo the pain inherent in making such changes, especially to start out with...
When you think about it, this speaks volumes..His very life is hanging in the balance, at least eventually, and yet he seems powerless to lift a finger to save himself...
I think recovering from TMS is very difficult for the truly lazy, a term that probably in and of itself does not really explain much...I think it's probably more useful to understand laziness as a failure to love oneself sufficiently.. |
| jrnythpst |
Posted - 08/05/2007 : 18:36:43
Thanks anne and I think you hit the nail on the head for me too...lack of motivation coupled with the other. I try to be more upbeat but so far seem to only succeed when projecting it for others. I will be sure to try to work this in with the therapist if I decided I like her and stick with her. Thanks for the insight. Yes I know I tend to be negative toward myself...believe it or not I am better than I used to be.
"Take a look around,Tell me what you see, Is who you think you are, Who you want to be?"
Hugs,
Ali Cat |
| Scottydog |
Posted - 08/05/2007 : 17:38:06
Hi jrnythpst,
Your post sounds negative negative negative to me.
quote:
I am most definitely my own worst critic
there must be something you can be positive about - just looking forward to studying Spanish is something to feel cheerful about.
....and don't we all envy skinny people but then they can be pretty nervy and anxious types which is why they're skinny - be glad that's not you!
My problem is lack of motivation to do the things I want to - which is another word for laziness - but that imo is a human condition and I don't know the cure, but it doesn't stop me enjoying the little things I do do.
I don't know about spirituality but some positive thinking would help you alot. I really think it works too, you send out some cheerful positive vibes and the good stuff seems to come back at you.
(I'm a natural pessimist and have to work at this)
Anne |
| art |
Posted - 08/05/2007 : 07:52:17
quote:
Originally posted by jrnythpst
thanks guys. Art I know this is how it should be but I am wayyyy too self critical unless I'm just being silly/slaphappy. Actually I do write for publications within organizations I am involved with and in charge of the regional newsletter. Next year I will be in charge of the state newsletter for this organization. I enjoy doing this but it doesn't have the same creative level as other things. It's like an inner conflict...I want to get back to languages (Spanish and sign language) and I want to get back into my photography and drawing but I am scared of failure. Sometimes my stuff comes out quite good and other times not really. But I have also noticed if I put some time and space between when I do something and when I look at it again it's no where near as bad as I remember. I just need to get over this rut. I'm due to start therapy soon *crosses fingers* the doctor I liked recommended her so hopefully it will work out. I saw some real quacks back in 2000 and have been weary of trying it again.
"Take a look around,
Tell me what you see,
Is who you think you are,
Who you want to be?"
Hugs,
Ali Cat
Well, look, there's good and there's good. Whom are you comparing youself to? I'm a good writer, good enough to have been nominated for a prize or two, good enough to appear in a national magazine occasionally, but there are so many out there who are better than I am that if I played the who's better game I'd never write again...You can be John Updike and tell yourself, sure, I'm pretty good, but I'm no Chekhov...Chekhov meanwhile might very well say, But I'm no Shakespeare...
If you genuinely feel a need to be creative then that's the reason to make art it seems to me...If you're doing it to feel better about yourself, that's a different matter, and much dicier unless you're willing to remember that "good" is a relative term..
It's your life, your precious time to fill or not fill with the things that will make you happy and fulfilled...We are defined by our choices...the things we do, and the things we don't do...If you enjoy writing, write. If you enjoy making pictures, then make pictures...Life is many things, but most of all it's short...
|
| jrnythpst |
Posted - 08/04/2007 : 20:43:02
thanks guys. Art I know this is how it should be but I am wayyyy too self critical unless I'm just being silly/slaphappy. Actually I do write for publications within organizations I am involved with and in charge of the regional newsletter. Next year I will be in charge of the state newsletter for this organization. I enjoy doing this but it doesn't have the same creative level as other things. It's like an inner conflict...I want to get back to languages (Spanish and sign language) and I want to get back into my photography and drawing but I am scared of failure. Sometimes my stuff comes out quite good and other times not really. But I have also noticed if I put some time and space between when I do something and when I look at it again it's no where near as bad as I remember. I just need to get over this rut. I'm due to start therapy soon *crosses fingers* the doctor I liked recommended her so hopefully it will work out. I saw some real quacks back in 2000 and have been weary of trying it again.
"Take a look around,
Tell me what you see,
Is who you think you are,
Who you want to be?"
Hugs,
Ali Cat |
| art |
Posted - 08/04/2007 : 13:21:34
I'm a writer (even get paid for it sometimes) and I can tell you based on my own experience that if you feel like being creative, then go right ahead and be creative...Why is quality an issue here? If you're not submitting something for publication, or entering some sort of juried show in the case of drawing, then who cares?
|
| Kristin |
Posted - 08/03/2007 : 13:41:23
I recommend The Artists Way by Julia Cameron. It is so inspirational and provides great tools for exploring our relationship to art and creativity, plus there is an everyday "journaling" aspect. It has a slight to medium spiritual bent to it, although not religious necessarily. It is a kind and gentle approach. Even though some of it is very challenging. I'm on week 8. It's taking me awhile because of my busy life. I don't progress past a chapter unless I do all the activities. These activities are their own reward, fun and insightful. So far I have been inspired to teach myself watercoloring and spontaneously started taking guitar lessons. I am in early mid 40s with my first child heading off to college very soon. I am finding this to be a necessary activity for my sanity. This work also helps me unlock some TMS mysteries.
Best of Luck! |
| Littlebird |
Posted - 08/03/2007 : 00:49:15
Hi Ali Cat,
I was also struck by that post from rjm about giving up what we once loved doing. I gave up many enjoyable activities over the years, some because I just couldn't afford them anymore, but some I gave up just because I thought I needed to be more "productive" with my time.
I think many artists might say that drawing is more than just talent, it's also about practice, so even if your work isn't good enough in your eyes, if you keep practicing at it perhaps you'll come to be more satisfied with the results in the future. But even if you don't think you'll ever be able to do portraits perfectly every time, what you draw doesn't have to be perfect to be worthwhile to others. I think writing is the same way. Authors always seem to say that they are never truly satisfied, but they just get to a point in the editing process where they say, "It's good enough," and they move on to the next work.
Hope you'll get back into something you used to love doing. Let us know what you pick and how it goes. |
|
|
