| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/03/2007 : 12:10:14
I posted about a friend hugging me and patting me very hard on the upper back yesterday..I deleted the post because it was too long and no one had written yet..My brain has used this as an excuse to put me into a terrible neck TMS relapse and I am so upset..I keep telling myself I am not that fragile..How can even a hard pat on the back cause all this..pain, tingling, headache, etc..I am about to call out from work and go to bed..The fear this will carry on like last time (a year or so ago) is so tough to handle..Any words of encouragement would help..I love to hear from my friends on here..And it would also be nice to hear from people like Dr. Ziggles or Sensei who rarely writes to me but has such wonderful and helpful things to say generally..
Thanx and God bless,
Karen |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/07/2007 : 15:01:31
Carbar,
I wrote back to you above this note and on the forum it still says that you were the last to reply..So I am trying here so that you can read what I wrote to you..
Thanx!
Karen |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/07/2007 : 10:46:52
Hi Carbar,
Thanks for the wise and encouraging words..I am dealing w/ alot psychologically now..I am feeling trapped in Vegas, far longer then I wanted to live here..I am missing my family/friends in NJ and I want to find the love of my life, finally..On a positive note, things are going great in my art career..but I am still working on getting out of the red financially..So basically there is stress and pressure everywhere..At the time this incident happened I was talking to a new friend about a loved one that passed away a few years ago.>So perhaps that contributed as well..It is getting better..but i am still in pain..And I really must journal..there is so much inside me that has to be expressed..
Thanx again!
Karen |
| carbar |
Posted - 07/07/2007 : 09:09:21
Karen, I agree with everyone else that is trying to offer you support:
Get psychological. What did this physical event trigger in your mind/emotions/subconscious that is bothering you?
What is the unconscious trying to get you to avoid by distracting you with physical pain?
When you are admonishing yourself for "thinking you are so fragile" you are just adding another layer of distraction from actually doing the work of digging deep into the emotional.
I am aware that the cycle is tough to beat, but I have faith that you can do it. Go forth and journal!
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| Stryder |
Posted - 07/06/2007 : 17:35:00
quote:
Originally posted by stanfr
This just confuses me. The Sarno disciples want me to believe that God is in control, not me....
I prefer to go with this one...
Treating TMS means taking responsibility for your own healing.
-- Dave
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| stanfr |
Posted - 07/06/2007 : 10:39:12
This just confuses me. The Sarno disciples want me to believe that God is in control, not me. This just contributes to my ongoing "moderate spiritual distress" (to use Brady's phrase) sigh... |
| Penny |
Posted - 07/04/2007 : 15:52:39
quote:
Originally posted by RiverMark
For me, it's constantly reminding and reassuring myself I am in control. Somehow, that reminder and reassurance was dropped from my "auto-pilot" instruction set. So, for now, it's a matter of inserting it manually until I can figure out how to do a "system re-set." If only I had kept the instructions...
Awesome, RiverMark!!! Oh my gosh .... Very true indeed! I often refer to TMS work/self analysis as "defragmenting" my mental hard drive. I now consider physical symtoms as an indicator of something I'm doing that's out of alignment with who I really am. I set aside time for conscious thinking--reprogramming myself with thoughts about what I really believe vs. what I believe by default. It's taken a while, but I feel like I'm nearly caught up with myself. I had a lot of unprocessed emotions, especially about motherhood. Now, I tend to focus more on the moment and when pain arises I am much better at understanding it in the context of my life and routine.
Welcome to the Forum!
>|< Penny
"Oz never did give nothing to the Tinman that he didn't already have."
song lyric, America |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/04/2007 : 11:39:19
PS..I confused one part of a reply..It was Art that said that the 'pat' couldn't have caused such bodily harm..You are right, Art..
(although it was stronger then a pat)..This person didn't know my neck/TMS history..BUT STILL. ..I have GOT to stop thinking i am sooo fragile all the time..I have GOT to get my neck moving in full range of motion,,,finally..once out of this relapse..
I had to take Advil PM just to sleep last night..I hate taking meds..hurts my stomach..
Lastly,,,when i get really honest w/ myself about what i wrote in the reply..I need more faith in God too..because although i have alot..if i had more i would be HEALED from this..'By His Stripes We are Healed..' (whether it be physical injury or TMS)..Faith has alluded me too much in my life..I mean true 100 percent faith..
I am trying to focus also on the positives that happen yesterday! I sold 4 paintings! So now..finances are better..and that is always a good thing..
Thanx for listening,
Karen |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/04/2007 : 11:33:28
RiverMark,
WOW! That was really well put..thank you so much..It made perfect sense..Now I must apply this wisdom as well as the wisdom of the other wonderful people on here..It tough sometimes..I know what you mean by the word 'pat'..Trust me, it was pretty hard and directly on my spine..But still..I think that i did go into 'auto pilot' just like you said..thank you..
Art,
I know,,I need more faith..In my spirituality and walk with God/Jesus I have alot of faith..In myself, I don't have enough..
Hugs to you both,
Karen |
| art |
Posted - 07/04/2007 : 11:09:37
River,
Pretty insightful. Well said. Agreed. |
| RiverMark |
Posted - 07/04/2007 : 09:36:53
I find there is always the temptation to blame an event - an act done, a word spoken or written, a look given - for a relapse. If only that hadn't happened, then I would still be okay.
It seems to me, part of the problem... a large part of the problem... THE problem is we tend to want to blame some external force while internalizing the issue to the extent our reservoir of inner rage overflows causing the pain.
In my experience, it's not the hug, the pat, the word spoken, the look given, that causes the relapse. It is our "auto-pilot" reaction that re-fills the reservoir to overflowing and subsequently causes the pain to reoccur.
For me, it's constantly reminding and reassuring myself I am in control. Somehow, that reminder and reassurance was dropped from my "auto-pilot" instruction set. So, for now, it's a matter of inserting it manually until I can figure out how to do a "system re-set." If only I had kept the instructions...
-=RM=- |
| art |
Posted - 07/04/2007 : 07:21:14
quote:
Hey Art,
It wasn't the hug that hurt..it was the strong pat right on my upper back
It's hard to reconcile the word "pat" with grievous bodily injury. 
Try to be objective. YOu're going to be stuck in this endless cycle of TMS and worry unless you can begin to have a little faith. What do you think is holding you back?
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| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/03/2007 : 19:34:09
Hi Skizzik,
Glad to hear about your pain going away so fast..that is great..Usually when I get this bad it lingers for a long time..but I refuse to allow that to happen..I keep trying to think of what is bothering me..There is so much..it's hard to know which thing in particular created this newest relapse..My MRI's years back showed 2 herniated discs in my neck and 2 in my back w/ bulges at other levels..I had a law suit going and so the neurosurgeon was recommending a dangerous neck surgery..I said no way to that! Then years later i got Dr. Sarno's videotapes and books and it helped alot..I just still have these relapses because I have alot of work to do internally and my current life pressures are intense..
Thanx for listening,
Karen |
| skizzik |
Posted - 07/03/2007 : 18:41:02
if it helps, I was in the dr.s office for a bad shoulder 3-4yrs ago. I told him about pins and needles in my arm, he had me get a MRI for neck along w/ shoulder. Next thing you know, the weird neck pains came and started freakin me out. I recall bad whiplash when I backed my worktruck into a baby tree about a month before, and bent my neck at a side angle. Great now I'm screwed.
The Mri lady let me see the neck MRI and there is what I thought was a herniated disc. It looked bulged compared to the rest. On the way home I could'nt turn my head and these sharp pains emerged. I suffered for a week till I saw the ortho to give me the bad news. He looked at the MRI and said, "nope, no herniations"...I was like "none"? He looked again and pointed and counted to himself and said "yup" "none"..the pain faded instantly and has'nt come back. The arm tingling too. Man that mind is a powerful thing!
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| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/03/2007 : 18:13:47
Hey Art,
It wasn't the hug that hurt..it was the strong pat right on my upper back..center..directly on the spine..I am in bad shape right now and about to go to bed..Don't want to but when it's this bad i have no choice..Later i will journal about what the heck is going on for me now to cause all this.
Hugs,
K |
| art |
Posted - 07/03/2007 : 17:43:04
Lizzie, keep running, keep challenging. Your body is more than up to the task. My number one rule with "mild" anything is keep going.
Karen, you know you can't get injured from a hug. YOu can get your heart stolen by a kiss maybe  , but that's about the extent of the bad stuff. |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/03/2007 : 17:07:28
Hey Vicki,
I need to laugh right now..thanx for the reminder! That was the most hilarious exchanges of emails ever! :)
Hey Beth,
Thank God, KC is doing great..He still has to go for another ultra sound in one month..but the last one showed his gal bladder and liver 100 percent healed from the damage from the pancreatitis..The pancreas is still inflammed but the doctor wasn't surprised..I have to hand feed him slowly so he doesn't vomit..and now he only has to eat twice a day instead of every 2 hours..So the prayers were answered..! Thanx for asking!
BTW...I had to call out sick from my part time job at the pilates studio today because my neck is that bad right now..But guess what?? This couple that I met there was interested in seeing my art in person..I am in between exhibitions so all the art was here..They ended up buying 3 paintings and commissioning me to do 1..So wowie..that was a good thing..It always works like that feast or famine..The pain is still bad..but..i was sure distracted when they were here..! Just wanted to share some good news with you guys..:))
Hugs,
Karen |
| vnwees |
Posted - 07/03/2007 : 16:41:29
Hi Karen;
Perhaps a ride on a horse with a friend would help.
I'll never forget how hard I laughed that day.
Take care. This too shall pass.
Vicki |
| h2oskier25 |
Posted - 07/03/2007 : 14:25:39
Did your sweet little dog recover from a couple of months ago? |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/03/2007 : 14:05:38
Thanx Lizzie,
I am going to try walking later when it gets cooler..It's supposed to go up to like 120 degrees farenheit this week..You are right about challenging the pain..I agree..When I am this bad, however, I get a little scared to do that..It seems to feel better when I lay down for awhile..My brain wants me to think it's the herniated discs again..SO frustrating..I have a couple coming over to my studio to look at my art..potential buyers..And I must put on a happy face and hope that they will distract me too..The tingling, etc..also adds to the fear..I appreciate your thoughts very much..
Hugs and God bless,
Karen |
| Lizzie |
Posted - 07/03/2007 : 13:54:19
Singer Artist
I know the more I think about a pain the worse it is. As someone who has sufferd neck pain I understand your anger at such a hard hug but it is anger. You are not that fragile so tell your journal how mad you are at this friend for threatening your emotions. TMS is a pig. I know, I have started jogging again and felt good for three weeks and now have mild sciatica again. I am deciding whether stop running or bull it through. I'm hoping I'll bull it through because what have I got to lose? If I give in I will feel imprisoned once again . If I run I may get more pain but I'm not satisfied with returning to inactivity. Try a walk. For me things always seem more straight forward when I am outside walking and that way you will be challenging the TMS.
Good luck.
Lizzie |
