| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| basil |
Posted - 06/05/2007 : 03:22:48
Hello all, I am new here.
I am from the UK where there is little information about the mindbody approach.
I did quick read of some subjects and decided I would post my problem.
Sorry it is so long :)
Nearly 6 weeks ago I developed a pain in my left arm while working on my final year of my Computer game graphics degree. I went to the doctors and he diagnosed mild RSI and said not to worry it will clear up when I finish.
I have an obsessive personality and started to investigate RSI. I read about Carpal Tunnel syndrome and that there’s no cure and before I knew it I had developed full blown symptoms in my hands. It didn't help with every bugger I know telling me I wouldn't be able to get in the games industry with this kind of disability. Luckily most of the artwork for my final project I had completed so my girlfriend helped me to type up the written work. By the end of my Degree nearly 2 weeks ago I was in the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. Last Friday I was so bad I spent the day in bed crying and wandering what the hell I was going to do with my life. I was scared of losing my not yet started career (which was also my hobby), my girlfriend and my social life. I was so desperate and I can say even suicide was entering my head.
Earlier that week I had ordered the Sarno mindbody book even though people were telling me otherwise. After reading the book twice in one day I got out of bed stopped crying and ate my first meal in 5 days. The next day I went running, did some 3D modelling and even went to the pub with my girlfriend. I felt so much more optimistic.
Three days later the pain had gone from being acute and very painful to a dull ache moving constantly from arm to arm. I was doing well until yesterday and I hadn't written in my journal or read parts of the book for nearly a day. I became a bit depressed and RSI was in my head again. Last night I couldn’t sleep and although there was no horrific pain it was dull and hot. I could not get this off my mind and only managed 3 hours sleep. I also felt very sick. I find myself doubting the theory for a minute and I find it very hard to forget about the aches. I can honestly say I haven't forgotten about the pains for more than 5 minutes in the last 5 weeks.
My doctor I had to change as my original was booked for weeks and I was desperate. She was initially confused that I had no loss of mobility or acute pain when she examined me. She advised blood tests which all came back negative. I saw her yesterday again and she asked about my University Degree and other problems in my life. I told her about the stresses of my life and that I am finding it emotionally hard to deal with this problem. To my surprise instead of referring me to a joint or hand specialist she has booked me in for a psychologist in the next 3 weeks. She says that the stress of the last year or two could be the reason. I was very surprised that she would consider this. She went as far as to say I am half way there realising that I have problems in my life.
Here is what I identify as stress in my life:
Getting a job in very hard industry
Fear of taking a another job and not doing what I ramble onto everyone about
My friends thinking I am a failure
Social anxiety
Next door neighbours successful son who he has always got to stop me and tell me about (we are same age)
Failing my school exams and college first time round
Not been interesting enough
Trying to fit into everything my friends are into.
Been 24 and back living with my mum and sister
People been better at what I do than me (Perfectionist)
Something happening to me that would stop me from enjoying what I do (finally happened)
Childhood trauma:
Emotionally bullied by my stepdad until I was 16. I have only talked about this twice since the day he left.
Illnesses:
I have quite a history
A widespread case of Guttate Psoriasis after a relationship breakup of 2 years. This only went away after 3 months of light treatment and the meeting a new partner. I have had Psoriasis all my life.
Heartburn which I thought was a heart problems or lung cancer
Pains in my groin which lasted 2 years. Had many tests and saw a specialist who concluded nothing was wrong. This went away after I finally met someone after been single for a long time.
Thought I was going deaf and saw a specialist who said my hearing was fine.
Feeling sick after eating and having very bad stomach. This has returned in the last week.
My hip use to hurt a lot when I was 16-19.
Many other minor things.
Anyway I will leave it at that now. I could go on for ages with my worries, stresses and my life :)
Thanks for reading and I will keep this updated with my progress. Sorry for my grammar, I am no writter!
Couple of questions:
Should I sort out my posture? I have a slight posture problem
Should I have pressed for Xrays and MRI to be 100% sure?
Should I continue to buy materials or is Sarno and Sopher’s work enough to read?
Just realised I have been typing this for a long time now with minimal aches.
Thanks again and good luck to you all
Basil
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| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| basil |
Posted - 06/11/2007 : 03:45:55
Thanks shawn. I am going to order the rest of Sarno's books this week.
Worked on mind alot yesterday and the symptoms kept jumping from arm to arm, finger to thumb and all over the place. I am now getting to the point where I can calm my mind enough to relieve most of the pain. Its just the stiffness and burning that I can't shake.
I now understand I have TMS 100% as none of the 'RSI' diagnosis makes sense. My mind is just so stubbon at times. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 06/10/2007 : 07:04:08
quote:
Originally posted by basil
Would you recommend reading one of Sarno's book when this happens or maybe constructing my own personal document with relevant information?
Keep reading Dr. Sarno's books over and over again until the mesage sinks into your unconscious mind. I especially recommend the treatment and psychology sections of "Healing Back Pain" and "The MindBody Prescription," and the treatment chapter in "The Divided Mind' (ch 4) is very important reading as it gives you practical steps as to what to do in order to recover. Journaling is also important and whould act as a supplement to your reading.
*******
Sarno-ize it!
Read chapter 4 of Dr. Sarno's "The Divided Mind." It's all you need to know in order to recover. |
| basil |
Posted - 06/10/2007 : 03:49:07
Thanks Gemma. I really going to have to try and relax before sleeping as the lack of sleep makes it worse! In my mind I think it the pain thats making me anxious before I sleep. I need to work on losing the fear.
I managed a full day at work yesterday. I seemed to be better when I got stuck in there and asked to be on a PC instead of been assigned to stacking shelves.
Hope you are making progress Gemma :)
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| Gemma_Louise |
Posted - 06/08/2007 : 13:14:18
Hi. The pain shifting around could indicate that things are improving for you. I know many people report this (Sarno talks about it in his books) and I have experienced it myself. Your mind is desperately trying to keep you focussed on the pain.
As far as the sleep goes, I would say that's caused by anxiety. I get it on and off. Your mind isn't able to switch off and relax properly. Try to relax as much as you can before bed...read or listening to calming music or something and drink chamomile or valerian tea. Most importantly, try to get to the bottom of what is causing your anxiety. Write a list before you go to bed of what is bothering you or on your mind.
'The more sensitive you are, the more certain you are to be brutalised, develop scabs, never evolve. Never allow yourself to feel anything, because you always feel too much' - Marlon Brando |
| basil |
Posted - 06/08/2007 : 13:00:50
Hello all
Well I think I have made some progress. Over the last 2 days the symptoms have broken up instead of been constant. I have my right foot go numb and woken up with a painful butt which was rather funny. I managed to just shake them off. I think my social anxiety is one of the biggest problems. I was fine for the later part of this afternoon until we had some visitors and they sat with me in the lounge. I had a sudden attack and had to retreat to my room.
Exercising again is brilliant, removes the symptoms and gives me a good moral boost. Its just a shame I can't run all day!
I find myself doubting sometimes which is bad. Would you recommend reading one of Sarno's book when this happens or maybe constructing my own personal document with relevant information?
I still wake up bang on 3am and 8am again though. Does anyone know ways to help remove these sleep patterns? |
| basil |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 15:12:53
Thanks for your support everyone.
Hello Hilary, I noticed your story yesterday. It would be good to start some awareness of Sarno's work in the UK. Took me a while to find it. Previously all I could find was horror stories.
Thanks alot Gemma for your support and I hope you can start to resolve your anxiety and stresses as soon as possible!
H20, thanks alots I will send you my email after posting this!
Armchair your story is very inspiring :)
Thanks to everyone else for your kind words
Today has been up and down. Started bad this morning but swear I had about an hour with less symptoms.
Realised a couple of important things now:
Stopped using the words 'pain'and 'ache'. Using 'symptoms' now
Dont use 'rsi' from my mouth or my thoughts. Only TMS.
I am battling TMS, not RSI.
I am finding it easier to concerntrate on my problems
I can have sex with absolutely no pain. This would not be impossible If I had physical damage. This is the only activity that completely removes the 'symptoms'. More of this is required!
Today I was on the bus at peak times and everything was stressing me out. A guy behind me was eating right in my ear which annoys me alot. Instead of ignoring him I acknowledged this and laughed about it. I suddenly became very relaxed and nearly even fell asleep. I continued to think about all the people on the bus with annoying traits and realised this was a part of my daily life.
Why the hell did they ever invent loud speakers on mobile phones!
Anyway hopefully I will get a good nights sleep tonight :)
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| HilaryN |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 13:30:19
Hi Basil,
I'm very glad to hear your doctor advised psychotherapy.
As you say, TMS is not well known here (I'm keen to get it more well known), so it's good news to hear about your doctor.
I've also recovered from RSI using Sarno's approach. All the best with it.
Hilary N |
| Gemma_Louise |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 13:01:54
Hi Basil. As everyone else has said, this does sound like TMS. I'm also 24 and in the UK and have been suffering with RSI type pains. This has coincided with an extremely stressful time in my life. Like you, I have insecurities and a perfectionist personality.
I find coming on here and reading comments and success stories really helps. After a bad day, it can be tempting to doubt that it is TMS, so it's reassuring to come on here and read about others who have experienced the same things, many of whom who have gone on to recover.
I have good days and bad days, but I do not worry as much about the pain anymore and try not to focus on it. I'm still stressed and anxious about many things in life at the moment (probably more anxious than I am even aware of), so I think this is why my pain hasn't completely gone. I am hopeful that when things calm down in life and I understand the things that are bothering me more, the aches and pains will go.
You sound like you have a good grasp of TMS and I'm sure things will improve for you. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 13:00:50
quote:
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by basil
Hardest thing I is explaining to people what’s wrong with me.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
HEY BASIL, HERE IS A BIT OF GOOOOOOOOD NEWS. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU SO NO NEED TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING TO ANYONE.
*******
Sarno-ize it!
Do you have a pain-prone personality?
http://www.bradyinstitute.com/aboutBook/painProne.asp |
| h2oskier25 |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 12:56:23
quote:
Originally posted by basil
Should I be worried that my ache is constant as alot of people are saying their TMS symptoms come and go.
NO NO NO! You shouldn't be worried about ANYTHING. That's the TMS gremlin, trying to keep you busy with Worry. Worry becomes a habit, and a lot of people just shift their worry from one thing to another.
Like, if I could cure your pain today, you would probably start worrying about money, or whether your girlfriend really likes your hair, or whether your dog will get sick or SOMETHING.
Basil, I feel so much for you, because my RSI got so bad I used to go take lunch breaks in my car, and just cry and pray. I understand deep panicked anxiety. I have also learned, that life is a gift, and we weren't created to live that way EVEN FOR A SHORT WHILE.
Please email me directly with your email address, as I have an RSI MindBody Mantra that I made from lots of quotes (from SARNO, among others) and a few other things to share with you.
You need to MAKE ROOM IN YOUR LIFE TO GET WELL, as opposed to just looking to shift all that anxiety to another place.
Glad to hear of your progress regarding the feeling of release in the bar.
quote:
Originally posted by basil
Hardest thing I is explaining to people what’s wrong with me.
Don't explain anything is wrong with you, because NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU, or me, or anybody else on this board. We all have normal healthy bodies (OK, us middle-aged folks have normal wear and tear) that are capable of doing things like working all day, and exercising to extreme.
One of the turning points to my healing was deciding to hide my pain and perceived debilitation from others. That goes a long way to invalidating the seriousness of the whole thing. I suggest you do something along those lines.
Don't forget to focus on the psychological every time you have pain, fear or worry.
Best wishes,
Beth |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 08:21:01
Glad to hear you are seeing improvement!
quote:
quickly remembering the pain...I got worse. My whole neck locked up and my arm went numb bringing me to tears again. He was surprised to learn about my anxiety problems and other so I have done a really good job of hiding them from him for the last 8 years. He went on to say a lot of my friends thought I was highly confident and focused. I am the total opposite!
Anyway I had a few more drinks and loosened up a bit and went to my girlfriends. The ache slowly came back while we were watching a film. The film we were watching cracked a Carpal Tunnel syndrome joke and that set me off again.
Well, if it helps, I don't think it could be more obvious that you have TMS!  If your problem were what they call "RSI" (I use quotes because I don't believe there is any such problem), no way could it get better and worse just from your thinking while you are out having fun, away from the computer. That wouldn't make any sense, since it's supposed to be related to using the computer or other hand-intensive activities.
I also note your remarks relating to emotions. If your friends are not aware of your troubles, it shows you are very good at hiding your real feelings, which has put you under a lot of pressure not to break down and show them what is really going on. I know that feeling of being thought the confident and focused one and underneath there is all kinds of other stuff going on. It sounds like you felt some of that pressure release while sharing with your friend at pub, which is great. You're right, it's hard to release feelings in public even if that is when they come up, but it's great that you could feel the release a little bit anyway.
Keep up the good work!
--
Wherever you go, there you are. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 05:21:33
quote:
Originally posted by basil
Should I be worried that my ache is constant as alot of people are saying their TMS symptoms come and go.
You have nothing to fear or worry about in that respect, pain patterns are quite diverse. Some have intermittent pain while others, like you, have constant pain. Remember, the pain is there merely to distract you from what is taking place in the psyche and is not a sign of any physical problem.
*******
Sarno-ize it!
Do you have a pain-prone personality?
http://www.bradyinstitute.com/aboutBook/painProne.asp |
| Chip |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 05:15:12
Hey Basil,
My aches were constant. I haven't had a pain free minute in three months, but after I started my TMS treatments, the overall intensity of the pain has dropped quite a bit. I'd say by maybe 50-75%. There is no doubt in my mind that these symptoms are TMS though, because of its nature. Also, for two months, not a single thing relieved my pain, and then in the past few days I've been making a pretty remarkable recovery.
I'm being selfish and wanting the rest of this pain to disappear on its own, but I know I'm probably going to have to do more exploring of my own numerous personality issues and what not.
Hang in there! |
| basil |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 04:13:16
First of all can I say thanks for your understanding and detailed replies.
Thanks a lot Chip for sharing your story with me, seems you have been through quite a bit lately. I found this forum and theory through Rachel’s site which also led me to Romain’s site as well. His story and yours seem to match mine very closely. I am glad you are doing well and returning to your life! I am also in my 20’s and it doesn’t seem right to me I can have this problem after only using the Desktop PC for the last 5 years. I mean I don’t even type that much as most of my work is using a graphics tablet to sketch.
Thanks shawn. I went for acupuncture last week and my pains cleared up for about 3 hours. I was in so much fear of them coming back they probably came back quicker.
Thanks a lot Sky. I have always had a problem with my esteem and wanting to be liked by everyone. I’ll check out those books your recommended.
Thanks everyone else for your links and recommendations. I am really trying to get over this.
Yesterday I was feeling a lot more positive and decided to meet up with my friend for a few drinks. The pain was just a dull numb ache in my left arm but I decided to try and be happy. I told my friend I was having problem s before hand and he understood. He thinks I have got way too stressed and that I need to chill out. I found myself letting go a little but then quickly remembering the pain and my mind drifted of the conversation. He knew something was up and I got worse. My whole neck locked up and my arm went numb bringing me to tears again. He was surprised to learn about my anxiety problems and other so I have done a really good job of hiding them from him for the last 8 years. He went on to say a lot of my friend’s thought I was highly confident and focused. I am the total opposite!
Anyway I had a few more drinks and loosened up a bit and went to my girlfriends. The ache slowly came back while we were watching a film. The film we were watching cracked a Carpal Tunnel syndrome joke and that set me off again. I feel asleep fairly quick due to the drink and woke up bang on 3am and 8am again, same times for the last 2 weeks.
Hands were stiff this morning which has turned into the full left arm ache after switching hands a few times. If I could get the pain to disappear a bit now and again and not have it 24/7 jumping from neck, finger, thumb, forearm, wrist and shoulder.
Today when I get home I am going to do these exercises properly and regularly. I think I really have to control my social anxiety as well because it makes the symptoms worse. Going back to work for one day on Saturday so I need to be prepared. Hardest thing I is explaining to people what’s wrong with me.
To be totally honest with myself I think I really need this Psychiatrist as I am now becoming to realize how many different problems I have in my life. As soon as I started to talk about things with my friends in a busy bar I felt a slight relief but also tears and straight away they were repressed due to where we was and the embarrassment. Maybe I should have just gone for it as I really felt something inside me releasing. I just didn’t want to do it where I was.
I have gone on rambling again. I really can not summarize!
I hope its ok to kind of use this as a journal as well because it really does help.
So my progress since Friday is that the acute sharp pain has gone and I just feel uncomfortable with stiffness and soreness. I will keep improving!
Thanks again people.
Sorry just one more thing. Should I be worried that my ache is constant as alot of people are saying their TMS symptoms come and go. Mine never leave but move and change in intensity regardless of my physical activity. Running and pressups actually make it better!
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| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 06/05/2007 : 18:34:13
Mikey's point is good. My success story has been moved to the new forum as well as Alexis's. Mine is here:
http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2366
--
Wherever you go, there you are. |
| MikeySama |
Posted - 06/05/2007 : 16:06:14
There isn't really much more for me to add. Just wanted to point your attention to the Succes Stories forum if you haven't already been there. There are at least 3 succes stories from people who shared your symptoms. They might motivate you some more. |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 06/05/2007 : 14:14:36
Basil:
I would start writing my feelings about the stressors you listed in your posting. That seemed like "the list" to me that Dr. Sarno suggests writing. Include the step-dad bullying and your feelings about that.
It is not likely many will agree with the mind/body approach. But it works. I was incapacitated with back/butt pain (TMS pain that is) and after lots of writing and facing issues, am pain free. IT DOES WORK but you must believe it. Regardless of those around you and their mostly well-meaning opinions.
My MRI (pre-Sarno knowledge) shows LARGE herniated disc. I'm sure it's still there but the pain isn't.
Don't give up. YOU have to believe you have TMS--who cares if those around you agree. Read Dr. Sarno's treatment and psychological chapters over and over again and write, write, write. Don't dwell on the physical.
Best wishes,
Cheers!
-Lori |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 06/05/2007 : 11:42:15
quote:
I can honestly say I haven't forgotten about the pains for more than 5 minutes in the last 5 weeks.
This is totally normal when you are in panic mode about RSI. YOU WILL BE OKAY. I am not a betting person in general but I would bet big money you have TMS. The stress you are going through and issues you listed are so classic for TMS.
Chip really said all that needs to be said. RSI is TMS. Try not to panic. You'll be fine. Look at your stresses and try to get into them, understand them, acknowledge them. Spend some time feeling the amount of pressure you're putting on yourself.
Most important, do some reading. I recommend searching for "RSI SuccessStory" on the forum. You should find my success story and HilaryN's and Alexis's and many more, and also check out these pages:
http://conquerrsi.com/
http://podolsky.everybody.org/rsi/
These are two other success stories from off the forum that I read religiously when I was getting better.
You are lucky to have discovered Sarno so early on -- you will be better quickly and you will NOT lose years of your life as some of us did.
--
Wherever you go, there you are. |
| h2oskier25 |
Posted - 06/05/2007 : 11:07:32
Basil,
All good advice preceeds this post, so let me just say:
Go running, or bikeriding, or whatever you do to work out REAL HARD. You are a healthy 24 year old, so no excuses there.
Don't fret about not doing what you love to do. That's not going to happen. You were born to design computer art for games, you do and you will.
You are about to graduate, and that's got so much stress around it. Don't worry, everyone is scared. The fear is normal. Recognize the fear of your life (NOT the fear of your physical condition in ANY way) and decide you're going to go through with it all as planned.
Laugh at the pain. Believe me, I do it every time I run. I run a weekly 5K (I know, not much by the standards of this board) and everytime it's like this. My knee hurts. I say "No, not convinced" and keep running. So it tries the other knee "No, not convinced" and keep running. So it tries the shins "No, not convinced ". . .
By the end, nothing hurts and I feel great!
My RSI lasted 7 years and almost cost me my life, but I just didn't find Sarno until the end. You are lucky you found him soon. You can heal in days like chip did.
Regards,
Beth |
| Sky |
Posted - 06/05/2007 : 09:45:58
Basil, I don't have time to read other people's long posts, but I hope you read these few thoughts:
1. I found myself thinking as I read your long post: "wow, he's a great writer. he must be smart." You ARE smart. Someday, you will realize how much worrying about proving to people how smart you are acutally held you back and prevented your true inner intelligence from fully blossoming. You've got talent.
2. I had crippling hand pain from RSI that went away after reading Sarno's Mindbody Prescription. I was so frustrated with conventional techniques of curing my hand pain, and found Sarno's theories to make so much sense, that I believed it almost perfectly whole-heartedly and it all went away.
I started to notice all of my TMS symptoms, and worked at addressing the emotional issues beneath them all. My life drastically improved, as did my confidence, feeling of well-being, happiness, and my skills in all the things I used to want so badly to be good at!
Address the underlying emotions beneath your TMS symptoms, and your body, AND MIND, will start to feel so much better....
3. You might be interested in a book by Byron Katie called "I Need Your Love - Is that True?" It addresses how harmful it is to constantly seek love, approval, and appreciation from others, to constnatly compare yourself to others. I think these are big problems for you at this moment. I'd give her book a look (I hear her other book "Loving What Is" is also great) and do the exercises in there. I think you'll eventually find yourself much more at peace with the people and relationships in your life.
4. You'll get better! You're a smart, sensitive person. Being sensitive can hurt if you don't understand your emotions. But applying Sarno's theories to your emotions, and using other techniques (perhaps those in Byron's book) can help you use your sensitivity to your advantage. It will become a strength that the insensitive people don't have.
Please tell us about your success when it comes! And keep coming back to this Forum to find the encouragement you'll need. Best wishes. |
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