| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| LadyBug |
Posted - 06/01/2007 : 20:14:34
Skizzik requested that I post about my surgery. I haven't been a Sarno follower very long, but I guess I know enough not to put too much emphasis on the physical. Here goes...
In the Summer of '04 I had surgery for a torn rotator cuff. First mistake. They brought in a CPM chair, that stands for continuous passive motion. Because the shoulder was also "frozen" it had to be kept moving and this thing had a robotic arm. I broke my foot on the damn thing and spent 6 weeks walking in a foot cast. Remember I was already in a sling, so no crutches. As you can imagine, I was very unhappy. At the time, we had just purchased a house after living like gypsies for several years. Many apartments. We had sold our home in NYS and were re settling in the South East. If I am to be truthful I was also "turning my back" forever on returning to NY. And my elderly Mother, who I loved very much. She had moved in with my controling verbally abusive sister, over my objections years before. When I left it was because of many reasons but mostly because they, together, drove me nuts. Before I left I ended up in the CCU with chest pains. I was always very close with my Mother and it took a lot to leave. So looking back, I see that my back began to hurt 3 months after buying this house. I blamed it on the cast which made me walk crooked.
I went back and visited my Mom several times a year in the following 2 years. Wasn't easy with horrible back pain to travel but I did. And I spent HOURS on the phone with Mom, allowing her the opportunity to vent about my sister. I would always hang up and feel just terrible, but there was nothing to do with it so I "put it away".
Since '04 I have been treated with chiropractic,PT,rheumatology, infusion therapy, trigger point injections, nerve blocks,acupuncture etc... Last Fall surgery seemed the only thing left and so after MRIs, CT scans and myleograms I went for it. I was told I had all the degenerating stuff, L3,L4,L5,S1. Spinal Stenosis. So I was to have a laminectomy. I did so. No improvement. At all.
In October of '05, my Mom passed away. I grieve her still and miss her everyday. I have effectively all but removed my sister from my life. I do not trust her and have much resentment toward her for the way she treated my Mother. In my heart I suspect the pain that gnaws at my back is because of all this.
So skizzik, there you have it, in a nut shell. By the time my incision healed in my back and the post op pain went away, the original problem remained. I am currently reading TDM and on page 5 it says there is no documentation that laminectomy relieves back pain. Oh how I wish I had read that last Fall. I am happy to have discovered Sarno. Better late than never. I think I am learning that we are clever beings and our subconcious is almost a seperate entity!
Truthfully, I never wanted to sell my home in NY and run away, but I felt I was "preserving" myself. All I knew was I had to get away. BTW, I did invite Mom to come with me. She declined. I think she thought I wasn't going to go. And I know she felt abandoned. I hope she is happy and dancing with my Dad. I hope she has forgiven me. Now all I have to do is forgive myself.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished |
| 7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| LadyBug |
Posted - 06/03/2007 : 13:51:03
I find it hard to believe there was no placebo effect either. Seems like it could have felt ok for at least a few minutes!
I am taking your advice and am tryin to keep on truckin'. I am still reading TDM, having finished Sarno's earlier books. I journal on Microsoft Word, an entire page, small print. I keep typing till I run out of space. Sometimes I feel like I'm just whining, but I am hopeful it will help. I find the board to be a huge help. Reading people's stories helps me to see that Sarno is right. And we are here to help pull one another thru the tough spots. Maybe one day there will be less tough spots! Hang in there Skiz, let us know what you decide to do about your app't on Wed.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished |
| skizzik |
Posted - 06/02/2007 : 12:53:30
I go back to the Sarno drawing board every day. I guess I'm just waiting for a breakthru. I'm glad I asked you. It looks like you started your story and exploded w/ what happened. I can't believe you did'nt even get the placebo relief for a bit from surgery. From your posts I would classify you as pure TMS. Keep truckin.
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| LadyBug |
Posted - 06/02/2007 : 12:40:11
My road to recovery is long and I've only traveled a bit, so far. But I am learning so much about myself. I believe that if I stay the course I will beat this crippling back pain. It makes perfect sense, when you're not blinded by how much things hurt.
Skizzik - has your traumatic episode passed and are you back to the Sarno drawing board?
Thanks for asking me to write all that down. I have been journaling but that was my first public post. 
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished |
| skizzik |
Posted - 06/02/2007 : 10:23:12
thanx for your experience ladybug, hows the road to recovery? |
| LadyBug |
Posted - 06/02/2007 : 08:42:13
I guess there are some things I ommitted. I also got facet joint injections (I don't recommend them) they might of help because they are so painful you're just glad they are over. Also had about a full year of deep tissue massage.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 06/01/2007 : 23:21:36
LB, very interesting story. You're the only person I know of that got the actual injections for trigger point instead of massage. But I guess it doesn't work any better anyway.
You've made some really sound connections between your emotional story and your physical story. I hope and believe you'll be feeing a lot better soon.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 06/01/2007 : 21:45:11
Thanks Ladybug, everything you have written confirms once again that Dr. Sarno is correct.
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Sarno-ize it!
Do you have a pain-prone personality?
http://www.bradyinstitute.com/aboutBook/painProne.asp |
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