| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| skizzik |
Posted - 05/28/2007 : 14:55:35
well....MRI tommorow...not sure where to go w/ this post. I'll say that 4yrs ago I was completely cured w/ sarno after a year of crippling bk pain, and 2 herniated discs.
But, now I'm 4 mos into this terrible relapse, the pain is different. Feels "real" this time. Of course I thought it was real b4 too. Which 1/2 of me thinks is attributed to a post traumatic experience (the experience is still lingering actually), and 1/2 of me thinks its because of an "impressive physical incident".
I'm kinda embarrased because I used to tout Sarno to the point I got tired of it, and now am Hiding my condition out of embarrasment. If you've noticed I'm enjoying Baseball's posts because that was me the last 4 yrs. I guess I just have to follow thru w/ Sarno's golden rule of getting checked out conventionally 1st. Thanx for listening. |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| skizzik |
Posted - 06/12/2007 : 15:39:28
thanx Bill for the support. I'm glad you posted your experience. Good to see I'm not the only relapser here. The lifting was huge stress relief (an obsession). However, even in the event I'll be able to lift again, I don't know if I'll ever have the time again due to the increasing demands of the family. We have a lot in common w/ the kiddos I see. One thing I never gave up was putting them on my shoulders. Thats something I bulled through. And is something that is helping my recovery I'm thinking because I've been carrying ladders at work, and carrying kids at home, therefore, my back must be normal.
Bill, most definitely start a thread and post your experience and relapse. The support here is so good.
Today went well, I had bouts of pain, and times where I did'nt think of my spine. And when I noticed I hadn't thought of it, I did'nt quite celebrate, yet was induced w/ fear that it would come crashing back. W/ the fear I grabbed the Sarno books, and like he said do the treatment to prevent tommorows and the next days pain. Noticeably less weakness in back and legs today if at all. Not ready to celebrate yet, a lotta hard work to do.
I came to the realization though that I kept setting myself back because I considered myself a former Sarno pro, and got very discouraged when the pain would'nt go away overnight. This caused me more pain I feel. And I kept trying to lift, only to have the pain come searing back. I still fear working out. But as Sarno says, first the pain will go, then the Fear of activity may be considerably longer to go away. |
| Bill K |
Posted - 06/11/2007 : 21:46:19
Hey all. I'm new to the forum and was happy to stumble upon this thread. I'm presently in a relapse and have been rereading Healing Back Pain and trying to get back on the path. Since I don't feel like I should comment or ask for help without sharing my story, here it is. I started having mild sciatica in 1999. With some chiropractic, I remained active and it was a manageable problem until about 2002. I got progressively worse, pelvis was tilted, couldn't stand up straight, tried many treatments, spent lots of money, had an MRI, big bulging disc at L4-5, got worse, was stooped over like an old man, was told to have surgery, stooped over more, didn't want to have surgery, moped around, drank a bit to ease the pain, saw a lifetime of pain ahead, until, by chance, I heard about Dr. Sarno's book (actually I'd heard of him before but dismissed it). I read the book and was walking (or in my case, shuffling) around the local botanical gardens looking at Christmas lights with the wife and kids and said to myself, "Let's see if this guy knows what he's talking about." I stood up straight (or as straight as I could). It hurt like hell, but I wouldn't let myself bend forward to relieve the pain. In about 5 minutes I was walking more freely and felt something I hadn't felt in a long time . . . hope. I was on the verge of tears (which is, to say the least for a TMS sufferer, unusual for me). Over the next 4 to 5 weeks I came to be pain free (with a temporary itchy rash thrown in for fun). Standing straight, lifting the kids, able to be more productive at work and at home. Reflecting on my back pain psychologically, I realize my pain coincided with some pretty heavy stuff in my life (mom died of cancer, had a child, then another, unhappy at work, started my own business) all the while attempting to affect a laid back persona. In short, the poster boy for TMS.
In any event, I started exercising again and got back to playing ultimate Frisbee (I had been forced to take the previous year off from playing due to my back pain - the first time off in a decade). Fast forward 6 months, I'm starting to run more to get back in shape. I'm running on the treadmill, after a couple of miles I start to feel some tightness on my lower back. I pushed through and finished the run, went home and stretched my back a little bit and boom - full blown relapse.
I'm now 3 weeks into the relapse. I'm better, but not great. I have what I would call a kernel (sometimes a boulder) of doubt as to whether I've actually sustained a physical injury this time. I dread talking to anyone in the medical profession about my condition for fear they'll tell me I have a bad back (and you know they will). At this point I'm looking for some reassurance. I keep wavering between thinking I've beaten this once, I'll beat it again, and I'm screwed. My analytical mind tells me the symptoms I have are the same as before and bear no correlation to any sort of nerve impingement at L4-5. But there's always that twinge in a certain area that makes me think, what if there is really something wrong this time. I think I've also lost a little perspective in that when I first had success with Sarno, every little bit of progress was a welcome revelation and the 4-5 weeks it took me to become pain free seemed like 5 minutes. New found optimism has a way of making the time fly. Now I think I'm just being a little impatient. I've been trying to think of what is going on in my life to cause this relapse and I'm drawing a blank. My business is good, my family is great. I have been thinking about maybe expanding the business a bit, but I don't think that's it. I'm not under any pressure to do so. My only other theory has to do with the fear of returning to full function. I remember in Sarno's book that he talks about certain physical activities can be problematic, even if they're not terribly stressful. Something about tennis in one case, jogging in another. I went back to playing ultimate which is a heck of a lot more strenuous than just jogging a couple of miles, but it was the jogging that caused the relapse. Two thoughts come to mind. One, even as my back pain worsened, I never thought playing ultimate would make me worse. And two, I had always attributed my initial onset of back pain to working out to get in shape (versus playing a game). Anyone out there experience this sort of fear of a particular activity of type of activity? I'm wondering if I just need to get over that last hurdle and bury that last kernel of fear. Any thoughts would be welcome.
Ski, in reading your posts, I wonder if lifting is that way for you. You also seem to equate lifting with stress relief. While physical activity is a great way to relieve stress, might you need to think about things more psychologically? Perhaps find another outlet. Is it the lifting that relieves the stress or is it the time you get away from the stress of work and family? It was always that way with ultimate for me. It was my time away from my regular life. Completely different set of people from my work/family world. Total escape.
Anyway, I've said enough. It's been sort of cathartic. Kudos to anyone who actually read all this. Stick with it Ski (and me). I think you're getting back on the right path. Stay patient. Build on the positive. It worked once before, it will work again. For both of us.
Bill |
| skizzik |
Posted - 06/11/2007 : 17:48:30
Per my primary referrel (ya know the guy that said on the phone I've got problems after reading the MRI report to me), my neurosurgeon appt is tommorow. Last week however, I had to see my primary again for a tetanus shot (minorly stabbed my hand at work) and he asked if I saw him yet. I told him next week. I asked what do you think he'll say, he said "he'll probably want to do surgery".
Well, appointment is tommorow...........
I got called into work on a Sunday, which is good because it's double time, and I took Saturday off for the kids soccer games. At the games I was so uncomfortable, my low spine was stabbing me. My wife talked me into ibuprofen. I felt relief so fast. I looked at my watch, it was only 8 min. Is that a placebo clue? Theres no way it worked that fast. I then took 4 more 6hrs later when me and the wife went out to eat. I had no relief this time, and the spine stab was coming back as I was driving to dinner. I was worried crazy about a "slump". Fortunately, it did'nt happen. We sat at the bar, and after a huge chocolate martini and nursing her wine I got plastered.
I wanted to get so drunk to forget about what I'm going thru. And what do you know, no back pain. Just a good time at the bar.
She drove home (not drunk thank god) and I passed out. The kids safe at Nana's.
Woke up, sunday morning afraid to get out of bed worrying how my spine would feel, and sure enuff, not so great. Then I was called into work. I was thrilled. Sunday pay is very good. And I did'nt want to be in pain in front of the wife or kids today. I would've just been busy looking up powerlifters w/ back injuries, or facet joint problems....I usually put in key words like that w/ a positive spin like "healing times" or "recovery", but all the articles are pure doom and gloom poison...so, I went to work and sludged thru the day in pain, and that panic disorder slump I keep going in and out of. I tried to Sarno, and stay drug free. I was somewhat o.k. but then I met the wife and kids at a birthday party afterwards. As I was sitting on a small wall that surrounds a patio watching a clown work magic for the kiddo's, the pain sunk in hard. I felt that the slouching was gonna snap my spine in half. I ran into an old college buddy at the party and could barely talk to her. (wife did'nt mind I'm sure) I ran to the car after about 20min of this for some ibuprofen. This time no relief. All night.
I writhed on the way home, I writhed at home. I tried to play w/ the kids outside, but I had to lay down on the deck and do nothing. Baths were brutal as I lifted them in and out of the tub, put their pj's on. Wifey could see I was beside myself. This put her in a bad mood. I then tried to get the kids to bed to watch the Soprano Finale (which was brilliant I thought) and after laying in our own bed for 15min or so, the pain started to subside.
Woke this morning. Pain was what pain was. Lots of weakness in lower spine however. Like some little muscle is missing or something. But between jobs, I kept reading the treatment chapter in MBP. Over and over. Something started clicking. I read some of the treatment chapter in DM. More clicking. He said it was a contest for attention between the concious and unconcious. It would be hard to focus psychologically w/ all that pain but presevere you must. Still pain, but easier to deal with. I could feel some confidence build. I went back to last year, when I was beside myself, in a very dark place, thinking I would be fired any day. The humiliation and shame I would feel (and already did feel) was overwhelming considering how stupid I was to get in trouble. Who am I to discipline my kids when I can't behave at work? And I never properly dealt w/ that "dark place" once everything resided. I wonder had I been let go if my kids would even have a father at all right now? I just figured I'd work it all out at the gym. You guys know the rest.
Anyways, after all that sarnoing I had no urge for pills. Back was pretty much ok, and weakness kinda faded. Wobbly legs eased too. And sciatica took a break. No slumps today (thank God). Went to Nana's house for dinner and was O.K. Right now, no pain. Tommorow, I'm gonna read the treatment chapters over and over again, as well as visit that dark place again. I'm going to fight it. Hard. No timetable. Just the good fight everyday. I got too many signs of improvement once I was able to block out the physical incidents and focus on the treatment. I tried a new thread (structurly based), but you all kept telling me I'm freaking out, and it's just TMS. Things are clicking. Surely, but slowly.
oh yeah, the neurosurgeon appt tommorow....cancled it.... |
| skizzik |
Posted - 06/10/2007 : 13:48:29
thanx everyone for the kind words, and encouragement. |
| Stryder |
Posted - 06/08/2007 : 14:42:24
Hi skiz,
Now that the doc has proclaimed you are in no danger, time to file away your films and radiologist reports into a locker and loose the key. Don't ever give them another thought.
Doing your TMS work will put you back in the driver's seat to recovery from your TMS pain.
I'm currenlty re-reading MBP due to a minor relapse over the last couple weeks, expect to be re-habed shortly.
Take care, -Stryder |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 06/08/2007 : 10:53:29
Congratualtions, you have TMS. That means there is NOTHING wrong with your back or feet!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*******
Sarno-ize it!
Read chapter 4 of Dr. Sarno's "The Divided Mind." It's all you need to know in order to recover. |
| LadyBug |
Posted - 06/08/2007 : 10:35:09
Hi Skiz ~ WONDERFUL news re: your app't. You asked where to go from here. I'd go back to the books. And the journal pages. The advice to return to the gym is good, I believe as long as you take all of the advice and go EASY. I am so sorry that you've had to endure all of this. But so happy that it is what it is. You can deal with this. You've done it before you can do it again. And I also think you must become a little selfish and carve out some time for you. I know there are places you can't take it away from. The rest of the places you don' want to and it doesn't seem fair to take it from your family. But you are overextended, guy. Try to think of it as taking the time for you, from your family and putting it in the bank. Later, when you are stronger you'll make that withdrawal and give it back to your wife and kids. Otherwise, if not, you will have drained everything and have nothing left for them later. Does that make sense? Please think about it. Best to You ~ Mary
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished |
| natureboys |
Posted - 06/08/2007 : 00:51:02
I'd say get back to the gym. Do all the exercises you used to do, but do them light, not heavy. Just like anybody who's stayed away from the gym a long time should do. As you gradually discover you can do all the exercises, maybe go up in weight. Also, there might come a time when you want to do a deadlift TOTALLY WRONG. In other words, lift with your back, not with your legs. You'll see it doesn't hurt you, and that can prove something to yourself. That's what I did anyway. It worked.
Also, is there anything in your life you'd love to do, but you're stopping yourself from doing it because it's scary or might hurt others? That could be the reason for your pain. For instance, have you always wanted to be a singer? Or writer or artist, or train engineer? Whatever it is, actually do it, or do a less-scary version of it. Or let's say your'd like to get away from your wife and kids for a while, no matter how much you love them, and spend sometime by yourself. Could you go stay somewhere for a while? A relative's house? Or how about a monastery where you could practice meditation, or Tai Chi or Kung Fu? You know, there's thousands of monasteries across the U.S. where you can stay cheaply as a guest. It's great for getting away and just thinking about your road in life for a while. The one I went to even had a gym! (There's a guide to monasteries that accept guiests for sale on Amazon. Most don't require any sort of religious observance from their guests. You don't have to be Catholic or Buddhist or whatever).
Now, recently I've gone to Dr. Shecter in L.A., who Sarno trained. He diagnosed my shoulder pain as possibly stemming from a real injury, but also said that it was probably taking longer to heal because of TMS (it hadn't healed after three months). He recommended, ice, rehab shoulder exercises and that I should start journaling again. Which I did. I'm now at the stage where I don't need the ice or excersizes anymore, I'm just journaling, and working hard at the gym. Sometimes my shoulder hurts a little during exercise, sometimes it doesn't -- but I'm not so FEARFUL about hurting anymore.-- In retrospecy, I think my pain was mostly TMS. -- Joe
Joe Garrett
Joe Garrett |
| natureboys |
Posted - 06/08/2007 : 00:42:20
I'd say get back to the gym. Do all the exercises you used to do, but do them light, not heavy. Just like anybody who's stayed away from the gym a long time should do. As you gradually discover you can do all the exercises, maybe go up in weight. Also, there might come a time when you want to do a deadlift TOTALLY WRONG. In other words, lift with your back, not with your legs. You'll see it doesn't hurt you, and that can prove something to yourself. That's what I did anyway. It worked.
Also, is there anything in your life you're dying to do, but you're stopping yourself from doing it because it's scary or might hurt others? That could be the reason for your pain. For instance, have you always wanted to be a singer? Or writer or artist, or train engineer? Whatever it is, actually do it, or do a less-scary version of it. Or let's say you want to leave your wife and kids for a while and drop out of the pressures that come with loving people. Could you go stay somewhere for a while? Maybe an exercise camp? Or a monastery where you could practice meditation? You know, there's thousands of monasteries across the U.S. where you can stay cheaply as a guest. It's great for getting away and just thinking about your road in life for a while. The one I went to even had a gym!
Now, recently I've gone to Dr. Shecter in L.A., who Sarno trained. He diagnosed my shoulder pain as possibly stemming from a real injury, but also said that it was probably taking longer to heal because of TMS (it hadn't healed after three months). He recommended, ice, rehab shoulder exercises and that I should start journaling again. Which I did. I'm now at the stage where I don't need the ice or excersizes anymore, I'm just journaling, and working hard at the gym. Sometimes my shoulder hurts a little during exercise, sometimes it doesn't -- but I'm not so FEARFUL about hurting anymore.-- In retrospec, I think my pain was mostly TMS. -- Joe
Joe Garrett |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 06/08/2007 : 00:00:33
CONGRATULATIONS SKI !
You got some great news today. It sounds like you are on your way to taking control of your mindbody health.
I would recommend you keep reading TMS books until it fully sinks in on a cellular level. I'm reading Dr. Marc Sopher's book now and find it excellent for fleshing out the language of TMS in a fashion that resonates for me.
Keep up the good work and give yourself a reward!
Cheers,
tt 
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
|
| stanfr |
Posted - 06/07/2007 : 18:16:10
Sounds like your on the right track. As an aside, i was weightlifting on a daily basis back when i got my sciatica. At the time, i didn't blame the pain on the exercize (as i recall, i blamed it on jumping off the top of some bleachers at a carnival, after having consumed much beer ) but one of the best things i did back then was go right to the gym and do every conceivable exercize that supposedly was "bad for my back". That really made it clear to my mind that i was repudiating the physical explanation. |
| skizzik |
Posted - 06/07/2007 : 17:11:24
ok. just got back from the spine rehab M.D. (non-surgical group, but doctors none the less) I explained b4 I wanted to stay away from the neurosurgeon due to encouragement from you guys (plus I saw one 4 yrs ago and hate the "degeneration" language they use). And I can't get TT's "what does a Barber say when you ask if you need a haircut?" But I really wanted someone to go over the MRI w/ me to rule out anything serious. Alright, let me get to the experience.
He came into the room, a well built 5'10 structure. Good looking I have to admit. Gary Sinease w/ glasses perhaps. No medical coat, rather a polo shirt tucked into some casual dress pants, and the look of someone who was relieved it was the last appoitment of the day. It would be unfortunate for him that I would pepper him w/ questioning that would take him long into the evening.
He sat down but glaring at the peice of paper I had in hand that was scribbled w/ notes, I could see a mental cringe.
"So what brings ya here" as he glanced thru my paperwork
"well, annular tear yada yada, pain yada yada, discs, etc..." I talked so fast as to get the most out of what I hoped would be my last back appointment ever.
O.K. Hemmingway time is over.
He checked me out, bend this way, that way, lay down, walk, stand on one foot etc...
He made the observation my pelvis is tilted and the right leg is shorter or longer (cant remember), flat feet.
He then put me into a weird position and popped my lower back in order to "adjust" my pelvis/S1 back into place. It felt good as hell, I can see why chiropractors are addicting. But I knew this is "manipulation" technique to us Sarno's and does'nt really do anything. It still felt good.
Anyways, he said that annular tears are asymptomatic in 40% of the population that has one and will scar up (great) over about 2 yrs (what?!?).
He said 40% (he likes this #) of people are asymptomatic w/ herniated discs.
Now this conversation bit is what sticks w/ me:
"I do the analization 1st, make up my mind of the appropriate treatment, then go look at the MRI, Xray."
"But don't you look at some MRI's and think wow he needs surgery, or I can't believe he's not in more pain?" I questioned.
"No, If I feel the observation in my exam went a certain way, I don't give a Damn what the MRI says."
"So theres no black and white picture thats painted on what you should do based on the report or the scan?"
"Nope"
Furthermore, he went on to say that a par's fracture would'nt occur in adulthood since it's a solid peice of bone. Its the early teenage years when it would pull apart because it's not fused completely, and even then be asymptomatic. Until they come in in their 40's and then blame their pain on it when it's noted on an MRI report.
I went over the stabbing pain when I sit, and especially after the workout in febuary, and he said a disc does'nt cause sharp pinching pain. So it would be joint pain I was feeling. He said the annulus outer shell could give a dull ache feeling if inflammed. I said I didn't think discs inflamed, and he said the outer shell could.
He also said that the spinal nerve is surrounded by a liquid that simply shifts a bit to allow room for a herniation.
I thought he would be receptive to Psychosomatic medicine, but he just pondered when I mentioned that I had crippling back pain in '03, and after being thru the wringer I read this book that had me pain free in a couple months. Later on he asked me what therapy I did in '03, and I just repeated, "I just read a book".
And the bruising he said was probably from the muscles being pounded from the workout, since the bruising couldn't have come from the spine or discs.
Also, he compared the old and new MRI's and said L4,L5 appears a little bigger, but the L5, S1 appears to have shrunk a little bit even w/ the annular tear.
Then I got the obligitory script for PT. And instructions to get fitted for arch supports and heels.
So where do I go from here? I'm in a decent mood right now. I think I got all my medical answers (thank god, right shawnsmith...lol).
That appt I made on my own, my primary has me going to the neurosurgeon who did surgery on one of his secretarys. I don't want to go. I'm pretty sure I'll be cancelling it.
I feel calmer, some sense of closure, a good mood. Any observations out there? I'll check back later as I gotta go out for a bike ride w/ the kids. |
| skizzik |
Posted - 06/07/2007 : 04:20:43
Thats inspiring stanfr, thank you for that. That must've been ugly when they said they wanted to cut you up, but you beat it. |
| stanfr |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 22:33:03
hey skizzik, was just reading thru this thread (was too lazy before now to go thru such a long string ) All i can say is, i know the story well. I beat TMS 10 yrs ago (bad sciatica, herniated discs they wanted to cut me up for, plus 4 recommended surgeries for entrapped nerves in my arms--which positive nerve conduction tests indicated--they told me id end up with permanent damage if i didn't) so i became a Sarno fanatic for a while and went on all the spinal forums trying to preach until i got tired of being shouted down, so i went back to my normal life while the repressed emotions built up inside, never really occured to me that the increasing sinus colds last ten years and congestion were just the symptom imperative, until three months ago when i no longer could sleep, so i had a Septoplasty which really cleared up my breathing well! Unfortunately, thanks to the imperative i quickly developed really uncomfortable psoriasis. That was the last straw for me, but i know ive turned the corner and i will beat this. Ive come to terms with the fact that my mental and physical health are inseparable. Five days after my psoriasis diagnoses, i threw away the cortisone creams (they didn't help anyway) and i fought the urge to just crawl up and die these past few weeks. I think i turned the corner when i went on a very long strenuous hike the other day, symptoms all but left me, but i knew it wasn't just because of the "distraction" of the hike, since my back was killing me by the end of the day! Moral of the story: look at every positive sign as a victory, and build on it! I keep telling myself that if i lose a couple steps, i refuse to let it bring me down--you just have to be persistent! I'm with you man! |
| skizzik |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 18:05:59
Shawn, I was just reading that whole treatment chapter in DVM last night and was reading that particular part over and over. Good to see you think that will hit home w/ me as well.
TT, hey bud.
I haven't been in the gym in a long time. Not sure what my future is w/ it. Oh, how I'd love to take naps, the last one was when I passed out on friday nite on the way home from out anniversary dinner. Unforturnately, it was passing out from the slump that I get. I think its CFS, Sarno mentions a symptom is an acute attack of exhaustion. I think it's like that w/ out the heartbeat or panting. Just a horrible feeling. More on the slump in a minute.
Thanx armchair,
I have my "few minutes" of time between my jobs as a utility guy. Thats when I journal, read, whatever. Right now I'm all Sarno, all the time. I journal Sarno, read Sarno, Listen to his audio CD to and fro work. And today I passed out at lunch in my truck w/ my slump. I do need to acknowledge my pressures, but unfortunately putting this possible injury behind me will be needed for closure.
Hey lady,
Too funny how Sarno is for free at your library, yet pain sufferers don't want to read it. Thats the rub I got when I was promoting him left and right. But now, I need to get pain free again b4 jumping on the promo bandwagon again. And, yeah, I'd wait till you get significant permanent pain relief b4 getting into it w/ the hubby.
I cancled the appointment w/ the neurosurgeon P. assistant because I was able to get an appoitment w/ a sports and Spine rehab group of MD's tommorow after work. This is good I think for two reasons, I don't have to use my personal days to go (after 4pm appt.) and I think the attitude of a rehab group will be more pleasent then a spine surgeon.
I'm really hoping for some type of closure tommorow. I want all the appts to end. I need closure.
I don't know whats going on w/ my slumps. I had them bad in Feb and March. I chalked it up to CFS. I think they're triggered by my anxiety over my back issue. I slumped for 4 freakin hours today. It's a horrible feeling. Cant function, have to fake normalcy in front of customers. Just want to lay down and die pretty much. I think it may have been triggered by canceling the appt. today. I'm trying to treat them the same way as TMS. If this is CFS, whoa, it sucks! |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 12:48:11
Tom,
Do you think your poll has become your own personal comfort zone? This is an important as someone brought up the whole concept of "comfort zones" several threads ago and was stating they felt anxiety over having to travel outside of hers? Has anyone else dealth with fear of moving outside of their comfort zone for fear intensification of symptoms?
Just asking with a view to getting a discussion going?
*******
Sarno-ize it!
Do you have a pain-prone personality?
http://www.bradyinstitute.com/aboutBook/painProne.asp |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 09:43:04
Ski,
Hang in there (or have a major freak-out if it helps reduce your strss). You are way over-loaded and your symptoms are trying to protect you. You MUST steal some time for your personal needs. Try to take some naps at least, maybe parked in the car in a quiet spot. Or switch from the gym to the pool and the hot-tub if there's one available. My mantra about exercise is when I can't do anything else for what-ever reason, return to the water, where life originated from. The soothing sensation of water is good for relaxing our senses, or if there's no pool available, a 30-40 minute walk allowing me to exercise and think TMS'ly at the same time. I can resolve and reconcile my day's issues before the end of the walk.
Good luck, hang in there,
tt
Some of my favorite excerpts from " _THE DIVIDED MIND_ " :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
|
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 08:38:09
Oh man, if you have no down time that's gotta be making this experience tough. Is there a way you can get even a few minutes some or most days to just be you alone with yourself, maybe have a chance to think or feel about a few things? Even if you have to reduce your participation on the board for a while, I think a feeling of being yourself for yourself might help a lot. I know it sounds a bit funny coming from a stranger, but I believe you're okay just being you. We all are unique and have our own way of being that we need to honor. I'm not way down the road to doing that, just at the very beginning, but it helps me.
I forget if you said you have journaled a lot, but it sounded like you had and kind of had journaling fatigue. Maybe if you have and you feel you have written everything down, just revisit a few sentences/pages of writing and try to acknowledge and maybe even feel the same feelings still being there, if they are there. Just to take some time and really acknowledge your pressures, which are very intense. I remember when I first wrote my whole list of all the things that could be bothering me and all the things that were bothering me when I first got "injured", and getting to the end of the list (if there is an end :-) and going "Geez, no wonder I'm feeling pressure! Look at this list! It's okay for me to feel pressured seeing as how I have a list this long." And my list is probably shorter than yours as I am a single woman in my twenties, no mortgage or kids or anything like that. So don't feel bad for feeling under pressure.
We're all rooting for you.
--
Wherever you go, there you are. |
| LadyBug |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 07:06:29
Hi Skiz ~ It is Wed! I'm pullin' for ya. Please let us know what happened with your app't. I'm currently reading TDM and just last evening read about how folks (men, mostly he said) drive themselves to exercise. Sometimes to the point of exhaustion and will hurt themsleves doing it. Is that you?
I'm only a month or so into Sarno. When I heard about it my husband picked up HBP for me at the library cause he was out at the time and I asked him to pick up a copy that I had requested to be put on hold for me. The librarian, when she checked it out for him, said to him, "That book changed my life." So he's asked just a couple of times about all of them I'm reading. I have said things like - well wait till I get thru it and I'll explain when I understand. Also, it's a little outta left field, let me get into it a little more and THEN I'll tell ya about it.... etc. Truth is, I don't think I want to tell him. I don't think he will understand or when I explain he will take the simplistic route and conclude this has all been "in my head". And I also know he wouldn't take the time to read it, cause he doesn't like to read. So I am cloistering myself with my books and my board (all you guys!) and one friend who I have shared this with and she is very supportive. I just wondered what it would be to have your spouse included. He has taken such care of me thru all of this, I don't want to say he's not supported my "back problems". Like most tho, I think the back is easier for him to accept than the brain!
I am thinking about you today and most anxious to hear how it all went. Peace ~
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 05:34:53
skizzik,
Please read this quote from Dr. Sarno on what it takes to recover:
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3568
*******
Sarno-ize it!
Do you have a pain-prone personality?
http://www.bradyinstitute.com/aboutBook/painProne.asp |
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