| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| neal |
Posted - 10/25/2004 : 04:11:00
Hi Everyone:
I just want to start out by saying that I found this forum about a week ago. I have been spending a little time each day reading stories so similar to mine it is eerie. So far the forum has been really helpful to me. While it has not abated the pain I am in, it has helped me to stay focused on the psychological, try to find out the root of my TMS and begin journaling. I have found the journaling to be very cathartic.
My brief story is that this is my second bout of back pain with TMS in one year. My first bout lasted about six weeks. I tried massage therapy with little or no success. Lucky for me, my masseuse told me to get the Sarno book Healing Back Pain. The book immediately clicked with me and I bought the diagnosis. In the meantime, since I was in so much pain, I tried other alternatives as well. I tried a chiropractor and found relief for only about 10 minutes after ever visit. I then decided to see a doctor just to make sure there was nothing structurally wrong. She only checked my range of motion and resistance to various pressures on my leg. No X-rays or MRI's. She concluded there was nothing structually wrong but did however prescribe the usual Prednisone, Vicodin and physical therapy. The Prednisone did not help at all, the Vicodin made me so ill the first time I took one that I never did again and I never went to physical therapy as per Sarno. Now I know at this point I was not following Sarno to the letter because I was trying a multi-faceted approach. It ultimately did not work and I began to focus solely on Sarno's method. After six grueling weeks of pain (unable to easily sit/hard to stand for any length of time/hard to concentrate) it finally subsided.
I was so greatful to have my life back. Unfortunately I once again started ignoring the actual reasons for my TMS and about 6 months later had another attack. This one came on slowly in the same place, moved around a bit to other areas of my back and was not as severe. I thought I had it on the run but it lasted for almost 5 months. Then, 3 weeks ago, the pain came in fully and has once again torn my life apart. It is a monumental task (mentally and physically) to do almost anything.
As I said before, this board and the comments everyone has posted has really helped me stay focused this past week. And while my pain is still there, I am continuing to re-read Sarno and write in my jounal. I guess as a person who has repressed everything for most his life and has many anxieties about failing it will just take me a while to really lick this thing for good. While I do not live in fear of hurting my back, I do hate the pain and the fact that it changes my active lifestyle. At 39 years old I feel I am way too young to be constantly in pain. It is however so very difficult to focus when the pain is so great. I think that is the hardest part!
I appreciate this forum so much and respect anyone who is willing to share their stories, comments and successful treatments.
Neal |
| 3 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 10/26/2004 : 09:25:53
Thanks Menvert,
Sounds like you've done a good job of turning your TMS around in a relatively short period of time. I do the same as you do. If I feel a pain, I stop and think about stress and emotions. All those twinges of pain, now become fleeting and disappear. If I'm doing something athleticly physical I do pay close attention to it so it doesn't become something "real". I call that common sense. I have improved my pro-preoceptive awareness in this regard and I'm sure I've prevented many injuries "real" and imagined from occuring. I know this sounds contradictory-thinking "physical" about TMS. It would take me another long-winded post to rationalize or symantasize this one but I won't go there now.
My main point is that one of the Good Doctor's messages is don't live in fear of pain. The body is strong. MOVE IT, USE IT, PLAY WITH IT, TRY IT. Not moving it can result in pain too.
Sitting around for hours in lotus, searching your soul for the head-waters of your TMS, may result in an over-use injury of your gray-matter. The point of all this is to be able to, relatively, painlessly, persue the activities you want to do. If one does not have a clear handle on what they want out of life, then that is something else.
Have a good day, 
tt |
| menvert |
Posted - 10/26/2004 : 08:04:27
Summed up very well there tom :)
yes , I have noticed a lot of people do seem to put overly too much effort in the 'soul-searching' although it does help some people to actually understand the TMS, I think yes, it can be a distraction in itself.
It's not so much about understanding, when why and how your rage was generated, but simply coming to terms with the fact that the rage exists it is there it will continue to generate... but by accepting and KNOWING that rage exists. our brain does not need to distract us with pain anymore. :)
Basically, when I feel pain increase for 'no apparent reason' or maybe for a physically triggered reason. Basically, I think
oh that's right, eg: I just talked to my father/I've been doing a task which has gradually been pissing me off more and more/I was in one of those awkward situations etc... that's probably why my brain turned on the pain distraction....
and pretty much leave it at that (has taken me some time to get to this point I can pretty much disregard my pain after understanding it intellectually)
I think, thinking about past events is not so much about the specific events as it is about focusing psychological in general, so as to thwart the brain's purpose, for the distraction. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 10/25/2004 : 10:07:56
"...try to find out the root of my TMS..."
Welcome to the TMS Forum Neal,
Your post seemed eeriely familiar to me too. The above quote caught my attention. If I recall my Sarno correctly, it is not necessary to find the "root" of ones TMS to be "cured". It is only neccessaty to ACCEPT that the pain is NOT HARMFUL!  Cartelege is NOT being destroyed...discs are NOT oozing out cushioning fluid...the anomalies on the x-rays and MRI's are within the normal range of anatomical variation...gray hair of the spine as Sarno calls it. The fear of the unknown damage we may be doing is the volume control for our TMS pain.
Sarno says that only a few will need psycho-therapy for deeply held problems. Most people just need to read and understand his book.
I beleive one of the big mistakes that I see here is that people are obssessing with psychological soul-searching looking for the semiinal momment in their psychological history that "caused" their TMS-the pschological bullet that entered their brain and caused it all to begin. I beleive that looking for the corolary "silver bullet", TMS cure momment, could, in itself, be a TMS equivalent-a TMS DISTRACTION from getting on with life, and JUST DOING IT!
I was trying to find the study in MBP of the list of life's stressors that Sarno believes helps cause TMS. Many of them are events shared in commmon by most people, like getting married, getting divorced, taking out a mortgage, paying off a mortgage. Anyone here should familiarize themselves with this list. When they feel pain and start doing that psychological past "soul searching", and can't find the "mystery" of their pain, they should go to the list and I'm sure, they will find several of life's transitions that they are in the midst of. These normal-average-universal life transitions, serve to disrupt our mental homeostasis and therefore our bio/physiological homeostasis. For instance, the changes we must make getting married, moving to a new space, sharing our space with someone new, the little things like the infamous toothpaste cap "issue".
I was planning on a very brief post here Neal, but as usual, I have gone long winded. Before my POINT is lost, in all this verbisge, I will conclude with it. I believe Sarno says you DO NOT have to "discover" the ROOT cause of your TMS. The cause of TMS is LIFE. It comes with the territory. You just need to ACCEPT that, and not FEAR that you are doing damage to your body by DOING. It is infinitely stronger than many dox, snake-oil salesmen, and TV commercials would WANT us to believe.
I believe time spent soul-searching for that horrible "moment", that our TMS was "conceived", is a waste of time and is a TMS equivalent and a distraction in itself.
Hope this helps, JUST DO IT!
tt
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