| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Alpha |
Posted - 03/11/2007 : 06:38:58
Hi everybody, i have not written here for quit some time. The reason was, that i couldn't accept TMS and was looking for a physical solution again.
I tried some more things and was once again sure i found finally the solution: Sexual Exhaustion, Adrenal Fatigue and some other ****. But whatever i tried i got better to some degree, but i was stuck in the same fragile, unstable body nevertheless.
Now i read TDM and one other book, which stated, that people with "broken bodies" suffer from emotional pain and trauma and now i am really convinced, that unconscious emotional conflict is the reason for my permanent suffering from diverse bizar physical symptoms, which make my life a living hell.
During reading TDM, during journaling and during looking at old childhood pictures, i was crying, really badly and hard,for the first time since i could remember, i cried the last 6 or 7 days for ~10 min. each day. I think this is a good sign for emotional pain :)
Because i read all 3 Sarno books now, think about the concept everyday and journal some time everyday, but don't get significant relief, i want to start psychotherapy now.
I have 2 questions regarding this project:
1. I talked with my mother about my great physical pain yesterday for the first time and told her, that i think about psychological help. It was really hard for my, but my mother is really very nice and loves me completely. She supports my intention, but my father is a completely other thing. I really have no idea how to talk about it with him. I am so ashamed, because we have not the best relationship. I feel, that he is only interested in me being successful with college, girls, sport and he is always strange and sarcastic when i talk about problems.
I think he will lose respect when i say to him that i think i have psychological problems. But i have have to talk to him, because he must help me financially if i wanne do a therapy.
Now my mother talked about it with him this morning and she told me, its ok for him and he accepts it and now he wanna talk about it with me this evening. I am really afraid about talking with him... he is a doctor himself and i don't know what he will think.
Any suggestions how i should talk about it with him.
(yeah, i think he is not a small part of my unconscious rage :))
2. I live in Germany and there are no TMS therapists or doctors here.
How can i find a therapist that can help me discover the underlying issues of my subconscious rage?
I understood, that i have to look for a psychoanalyst or psycho dynamic therapist. Something else? Should i meet with the therapist and tell him about tms and give him specific about what i wanne do?
I am afraid that he talks me into issues i don't really have (yeah there is not much trust for medicine left in me...).
How can i remain in enough control about my healing, but still profit from professional guidance in exploring my subconscious mind?
What do you think about self-analysis? I found so many good books on amazon about self analysis, inner child work, human shadow, dark emotions, getting in touch with frightening emotions, entering subconscious mind through dreams, etc.
Would it be a good idea, trying to solve my emotional issues by myself or should i really better work with a professional?
Hope you can help me, sorry for my imperfect :) English
- Alpha
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As you think, so shall you become. - Bruce Lee |
| 17 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| altherunner |
Posted - 03/16/2007 : 20:57:03
Alpha - not familiar with the primal therapy, but the ego seems to be the root cause of negative emotions, causing thousands of thoughts, many negative, all the time. Thanks to cfhunter for the book recommendation, "Your Sacred Self" by Wayne Dyer, now about halfway through it. A great explaination of ego's dominance of our life, and how to curtail it. |
| Alpha |
Posted - 03/16/2007 : 03:12:39
Hey, thank you all for the book recommendations and comments.
I have a new idea on my mind and want to hear what you guys think about it. Because i experienced the very relieving power of crying and letting the emotions out, i am not willing to settle with just understanding the tms process mentally. I think if i get my brain to stop the physical pain, but do not release the emotions, we ignore the signs of our body.
Our body or brain is not our enemy, i think it will say us, that we HAVE to release this emotions to evolve and become really happy and feel complete again. I find just thinking about it is again just a kind of symptom relieve, because the cause can't be solved on a mental level, can it? Ok, we can journal and everything, but is this enough to really let the old emotions out, which block the flow of life in us?
I researched some while and found this therapy: http://www.primaltherapy.com/
There they seem to really excess and release repressed emotions.
Now i think about saving money and do the 3 weeks isolation therapy there in the summer. What do you think, will this be a helpful therapy form for our problems?
PS: I don't want to talk the tms theories down or anything with this post. I just have a bad feeling about not releasing the symptoms. I think recurrence of symptoms after month or years is just a result of the fact that the cause of the pain is not banished, but only the brains defense mechanism switched off (temporary).
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As you think, so shall you become. - Bruce Lee |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 03/12/2007 : 20:34:14
And for non TMS reading please check out "Sir Gawain and The Green Knight." If you don't have TMS before you read it, you will afterwards.
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Sarno-ize it!
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| carbar |
Posted - 03/12/2007 : 19:00:42
quote:
Originally posted by Alpha
Because i read all 3 Sarno books now, think about the concept everyday and journal some time everyday, but don't get significant relief, i want to start psychotherapy now.
Hi Alpha, I take it as a really good sign that looking at your past memories and photos got you to feel your emotions about that time. I had a hard time feeling emotions. I grew up so skilled at turning the other cheek about hard times that I stopped paying attention to and valuing my own feelings. I tried to see therapists when I was still in pain to "deal with the pain." I saw 3 different folks that I didn't really form a connection to. One therapist, I think she was cognitive behavior wanted to place all these labels on me. I was really frustrated by this process, so I gave up therapy for about 2 years.
After I read MBP and found my pain getting better, I knew I was the kind of person who would benefit from therapy to keep the TMS symptoms away. The therapist I see now is an analytically trained therapist. Was familiar with Sarno when I started, but not particularly versed in his theory. The sessions are much different than any other therapist I saw before. Mostly I just talk, it's more up to me where I want to go with the session. Sometimes I resent this because I want my therapist to give me the answers, but clearly the answers are coming from within. It's more about revealing the self to the self than getting any advise, at least for me. I really appreciate this.
One note though, I was really scared and a lot less confident when I started looking for a therapist. I just "settled for" someone I found through a referral service. No interviews like Tennis Tom suggests. Looking back as a more confident person, I suppose it would be valuable to have a few choices to consider. It was lucky that this therapist worked out. I also used the "settled for" approach with the first 3 that DIDN'T work out, so use caution. If you don't feel comfortable telling most of your story to the person or if they just give you a bad feeling, then go ahead and keep looking. Just know that that's your right and will help you ulitimately get what you want out of therapy.
Good luck finding a therapist if you go that route! That's great that you had the support of your mother. Good luck dealing with your father.
carbar |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 03/12/2007 : 14:04:49
If you are looking for the book route, I really liked The Drama of the Gifted Child, by Alice Miller, and I believe it was originally written in German, only translated to English.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
| cfhunter |
Posted - 03/12/2007 : 13:47:18
The Sacred Self has a huge covering of the Ego and I really enjoy it as part of he process of accepting TMS. No he's not for everyone but worth looking into without preconceived ideas I would think.
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| tennis tom |
Posted - 03/11/2007 : 21:23:37
Alpha, I vote for finding a therapist. You've got your family onboard in favor of it and you want to do it. Don't settle for the first one you come across. Consider it like shopping for a car. You pick one you feel positive about, don't let them pick you. Interview 3-6 different ones and then decide which is best for you. Mention Dr. Sarno and psychosomatic/psychogenic medicine and see if they are familiar with it and what their reaction is. Search the board and the books for the type of psychotherapy that is recommended for TMS'ers.
Good Luck! |
| altherunner |
Posted - 03/11/2007 : 20:23:14
Speak of that ego devil and it pops out of nowhere...
Wayne Dyer and Byron Katie are both great - and they just put out a cd together by Hayhouse - "Making Your Thoughts Work for You". |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 03/11/2007 : 19:45:50
Too much far out "spiritual mumbo jumbo" in Wayne Dyer's book to keep me attracted. I much prefer someone living on the planet earth with no antenas, like Byron Katie.
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Sarno-ize it!
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| cfhunter |
Posted - 03/11/2007 : 19:27:32
May I suggest "Your Sacred Self" by Dr. Wayne Dyer.
WOW...what a great book on Ego and it's control over us.
Also I am looking into Holosyn. www.centerpointe.com as they mention it helping with deep underlying issues etc. as you progress through the program. I got the demo and was sold on it.
Free guarantee as well.
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| shawnsmith |
Posted - 03/11/2007 : 17:01:02
Remember that with self-analysis we have the tendency to bull-**** ourselves while with psychotherapy were are bull-****ted by someone else.
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Sarno-ize it!
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| HilaryN |
Posted - 03/11/2007 : 13:06:25
I meant the self-analysis in addition to seeing a psychotherapist if you can get to see one you feel comfortable with.
Hilary N |
| altherunner |
Posted - 03/11/2007 : 11:44:27
I found it helpful by letting the past go, living in the present moment, no longer worrying about the future. I was a constant worrier, leading to anxiety, pain,etc. His definition of the "painbody", as an entity, helped me also. My ego is not in charge, at least, not all the time. |
| Alpha |
Posted - 03/11/2007 : 11:30:36
Ok, i have no problem with doing the work by myself. Actualy i even like it better, because i hate giving away the control.
But do you really think, just thinking about it is enough?
The last days, i really forced me, to ponder about the thoughts, how bad i feel about my situation, about all the negative things in my life i could think about and i was really crying, i felt how the emotions came out. This always felt very relieving, like some blockage in my body was resolving.
Just thinking about tms and my lifesituation has not this intense effect, so i thought, the deeper i could excess my unpleasent emotions and the "dark side" inside me, the more i get relieve.
I really think, i have to really feel and become aware of the fear, pain und anger inside me.
So i was thinking about 2 options:
- Consulting a expert
- Doing it by myself with books like http://www.amazon.com/Self-Analysis-Karen-Horney/dp/0393311651/ref=pd_bbs_2/102-9133389-4988151?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1173633789&sr=8-2
or
http://www.amazon.com/Inner-Work-Dreams-Imagination-Personal/dp/0062504312/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-9133389-4988151?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1173633895&sr=1-1
or
http://www.amazon.com/Owning-Your-Own-Shadow-Understanding/dp/0062507540/ref=pd_bbs_2/102-9133389-4988151?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1173633895&sr=1-2
or
http://www.amazon.com/Homecoming-Reclaiming-Championing-Inner-Child/dp/0553353896/ref=sr_1_16/102-9133389-4988151?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1173633925&sr=1-16
I really wanne find a final solution. I don't wanne heal this symptoms, but get tms always again. I wanne really cleanse my inner world, find inner peace and i don't know if "just" thinking about tms, without doing the ugly work of facing the pain inside is enough.
I think there are so many ways of really exploring our self with dreams, deep journaling, maybe even things like painting or tarot.
Or is this just again py perfectionsim, that i wanne understand and controll this 100%?
But the basic is thinking about the tms concept some time each day, as well as journaling about the possible reasons of repressed emotions each day. Right?
altherunner: I own "the power of now" but how you find it helpful with TMS?
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As you think, so shall you become. - Bruce Lee |
| HilaryN |
Posted - 03/11/2007 : 11:20:05
Hi Alpha,
Good luck talking to your dad – it sounds like it’ll be scary. But just remember, however painful it may be “losing” his respect, your health is more important, as is your own self-respect.
Maybe you could emphasize Dr Sarno’s credentials (on the back of the book) – that might help.
You need to find an analytically-trained psychotherapist. You could maybe lend them your copy of Sarno’s book.
I think it would be good to read up on self-analysis because this could help you with the psychotherapy if you know about how the process works.
Hilary N |
| altherunner |
Posted - 03/11/2007 : 10:22:45
I had therapy over the phone, with Dr. Don Dubin in California. There are no tms docors in Canada. I have not had a relapse since.
It has been a couple of years. I also read a couple of books by Eckhart Tolle that I found helpful, The Power of Now, and A New Earth. They are not tms books, more self-help. They should be available in German, and he is lecturing in Germany this fall. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 03/11/2007 : 09:50:55
I think the majority of us on this board have not visit Psycohtherapists. Reading Sarno's treatment and psychology sections in "Healing Back Pain" and "The MindBody Prescription" over and over again and reading "The Divided Mind" at least 4 times will be a good start. While reading, pay close attention to those aspects of your personal situation, history and personality which you feel relate to you personally.
I personally have not even been diagnosed with TMS by a doctor, and I don't expect I ever will be. This does not concern me in the least.
Please be patient as things take time. Forget about the stories about quick 6 week recoveries. Many people take much longer. The more you want the pain to go away the longer it will persist.
It is important to resume normal physical activity as much as you can. Also, it is equally important to refute the idea you have a physical problem.
*************
Sarno-ize it!
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