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T O P I C    R E V I E W
mmcgurren Posted - 03/06/2007 : 18:18:55
Hi everyone. I've been reading John E. Sarnos book "Healing Back Pain" and even though I think TMS is completely possible and MAY be my problem, I can't seem to gain enough acceptance. My back pain started in 6th grade when I had a back injury of somesort and my lower back has hurt me EVERY SINGLE DAY since then. I'm now 37. It's been almost 30 years!!! It doesn't interfere with work and I do workout but it does bother me during some exercise. The problem is that I can "strengthen my core" and the back pain does not go away...it gets worse. It doesn't hurt when I walk or sit but it DOES hurt when I get up from laying down on the couch, toss and turn in bed and get up from the bed. Also, I can't bend all the way over to pull up my pants or put on my shoes but I can bend my knee towards me and meet my feet half way. I'm sooo tired of it. Of course I went to the all the back surgeons and they said I have degenerated discs and hirniated discs but the discs weren't hitting any nerves. I have no pain in my legs either but my circulation isn't the greatest. I'm sure you've heard it all but I just can't take it anymore. I get massages sometimes but they just CANNOT get deep enough for the pain. It's deep in my lower back and massages don't help.

Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.

Melissa
12   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
mmcgurren Posted - 03/08/2007 : 17:08:12
I'm not seeing a TMS doctor. I'm only reading Healing Back Pain as of right now. I'm thinking maybe I should talk to one but I have no idea where to start looking. Any ideas? Thanks so much! I really appreciate it. You have NO idea how much.
tennis tom Posted - 03/08/2007 : 08:15:26
Hi Momtoone,

Which TMS doctor are you seeing, if I may ask?

Regards,
tt
mmcgurren Posted - 03/07/2007 : 18:32:09
This is all great advice. Thank you so much. It means the world to me. I went and bought 2 journals today. I have never written in one before so I will just have to see how it goes. As far as having anger or frustration from past events...well...I'm not sure if I can muster that up or not. I THOUGHT I had let it all go (or at least most of it) but who knows. Journaling can only help and not hurt so here I go!
momtoone Posted - 03/07/2007 : 11:52:13
Jamie,
The TMS Doc I see says that you do not have to have the exact memories from childhood, you just have to acknowledge the anger and fear. I can not remember almost anything before 10 even though I try very hard. My older sister remebers a lot and tells me events but I still can not muster up anything. She says there is a reason we can't remember and thinks those repressed memories are probably much worse than the terrible things we do remember. That in itself puts fear in me and that may be a stumbling block. Anyway good luck. My point was after all of that...you just have to acknowledge that the fear and anger are there not necessarily specific events.
jamiesue Posted - 03/07/2007 : 07:48:09
This is interesting since I am dealing with pain that has been on and off for years and consistent for 7 months, recently dx w/ severe herniation. My parents divorced when I was 4 and my mom divorced again when I was 13. Over Christmas I totally lost it w/ my Dad and stepmom. I mean serious yelling match w/ stepmom. Very out of character for me.
I was shocked at the level of my anger when it came out and am realizing there is much more there, hopefully to be uncovered in a less hurtful (to others) manner.

Anyway, my point is I too have very vague memories about my childhood. My older sister says the same thing. My DH can remember many specifics about his childhood and I get frustrated that I can't. I think I'll take the above advice and start journaling about it.

Jamie
altherunner Posted - 03/07/2007 : 06:03:00
I was pain free for about a year after reading Healing Back Pain, then had a relapse, and had 4 phone therapy sessions with Don Dubin, discussing childhood issues and other things. I have been pain free for about 2 years now. Most people can resolve the pain without therapy. I agree with whitris, many other non-tms books can be helpful. Reading The Power of Now, and a New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle helped me, as well as Loving What Is, by Byron Katie. Books are cheap
compared to therapy, too. These books helped me to let go of the past,and stop chronic worrying about future, and stay focused on the present. I had a bout of insomnia 6 months after my back pain left, and I went to my doctor to get a prescription, instead he lent me meditation/relaxation cds. These helped immensely to slow down the constant flow of thought that most of us have, by observing each thought.
whitris Posted - 03/06/2007 : 20:56:46
You might try John Bradshaw or similar author (books or videos) as a guide through traumatic childhood issues. (Just browse Amazon a little) It sounds like you are very close to going into the psychic pain in order to release the physical pain, or however we Sarno-ites are supposed to state this. Keep it up and you will lose your back pain. You are so close to getting home.
mmcgurren Posted - 03/06/2007 : 20:56:10
Thank you so much. I will absolutely try it. I'll try anything. It feels really good to talk to someone who understands how frustrating it is. Thank you again!!





quote:
Originally posted by armchairlinguist

quote:
but things are vague after that.


I found much of my childhood vague at the time I started examining it for TMS causes. Most of it still is, and I think this is a warning sign for TMS. Something is underneath the vagueness. It may not be anything big, or it may be a few big things and a lot of little things. I have only uncovered a few little things, variations on a theme. But those glimpses have given me an idea of how I felt generally when I was a kid.

You might try writing (in a private journal, perhaps, or here if you feel comfortable) about your parents' divorce, or about how you felt starting middle school, which might have been a big transition. Don't "think" too hard about the writing, just start with a few sentences and see where it takes you. Keep going for a bit if you can and see how far you get. You might be surprised at what can crystallize.

--
Wherever you go, there you are.

armchairlinguist Posted - 03/06/2007 : 20:50:42
quote:
but things are vague after that.


I found much of my childhood vague at the time I started examining it for TMS causes. Most of it still is, and I think this is a warning sign for TMS. Something is underneath the vagueness. It may not be anything big, or it may be a few big things and a lot of little things. I have only uncovered a few little things, variations on a theme. But those glimpses have given me an idea of how I felt generally when I was a kid.

You might try writing (in a private journal, perhaps, or here if you feel comfortable) about your parents' divorce, or about how you felt starting middle school, which might have been a big transition. Don't "think" too hard about the writing, just start with a few sentences and see where it takes you. Keep going for a bit if you can and see how far you get. You might be surprised at what can crystallize.

--
Wherever you go, there you are.
mmcgurren Posted - 03/06/2007 : 20:40:52
quote:
Originally posted by altherunner

Can you remember anything traumatic at the time of your back pain, that may have upset you, that you have repressed all this time? I thought my pain was from my adult life - but actually started much earlier.


Is your pain gone now?
mmcgurren Posted - 03/06/2007 : 20:32:23
I just can't remember. My parents divorced when I 4th grade two years earlier but things are vague after that. Thank you so much for replying. I feel so helpless in getting the pain to go away.
altherunner Posted - 03/06/2007 : 20:26:59
Can you remember anything traumatic at the time of your back pain, that may have upset you, that you have repressed all this time? I thought my pain was from my adult life - but actually started much earlier.

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