| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 02/13/2007 : 19:50:57
Well, there is a reason for the old saying.."A Pain in the Neck.." I have been dealing with alot of stressful situations in my life of late..Some positive (like the commissioned painting of Pluto I am currently working on)..some not so positive, like absorbing someone's pain..There is someone in my life who means the world to me...This person is going through some VERY hard times and unfortunately for me, some of the frustrations and anger is being taken out on me..I was patient for a long time, but lately, my tolerance for this behavior is near zero...The minute the person raises his/her voice, my body reacts with an increase in heartrate and a tightened neck...
ALthough I haven't healed fully, neck wise...I have been doing ALOT better then when I first became a member of this forum..I went to the gym the other day for the first time in months, thank God..I did nothing strenous that could have hurt my neck...I painted alot last night, but again...aside from holding my arm up for awhile..I cannot imagine that my neck would get this tight, and only on the right side..I also had some other symptoms and pain, including MVP again...
I have ALOT of internal conflicts about several important areas of my life right now...Things seem to be coming to a head...I am dealing w/ financial stress on top of everything else...My range of motion in my neck suddently diminished today and that is scary considering it was so much better...I still had a tough time looking up normally and have been trying to increase the range of motion..I never felt any pain when trying to look up more, so I don't think I actually hurt any structures..Enough said..Any thoughts from my friends or anyone?
Hugs and God bless,
Karen |
| 17 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 02/15/2007 : 08:25:15
Thanx for your kindness, Alexis..:) I was diagnosed with Mitral Valve Prolapse, which is supposed to be the cause of the occasion skipped beat..It seems to act up under extreme stress or after caffeine which I only take in dark chocolate..Sometimes it acts up b4 my period as well..But Dr. Sarno mentions MVP as a TMS equivalent, and I have to agree because the last time i was checked several years ago by a cadiologist he said it was gone..That it was just an extra beat and nothing to worry about..Still feels weird when it happens..I am finally eating better and on the road to losing the weight I gained in NY over the holidays..The last time i was this heavy was after losing both parents 17 yrs ago..I am sure my heart isn't happy about the extra weight either..I just have to stop abusing my body due to a stress reaction..I think the TMS might be trying to wake me up in this way as well..I am hoping/praying that today i might be able to paint..I am so behind in the commission i am currently working on..I'll see as the day goes on..
Have a great day!
Hugs and God bless,
Karen |
| alexis |
Posted - 02/15/2007 : 07:15:19
Hi Karen, That's good to be panic attack free. I only mentioned it because you mentioned your heart skipping and the "whole body" experience. I also thought at the time the free flow writing style might be indicative, but I compared to old posts and your style hadn't change much and never looked panicky to me before. I was just a little worried. Good luck to you and the doggies. And the boyfriend, of course. :) |
| DitaH |
Posted - 02/15/2007 : 07:07:43
hey Karen -
Hope you get through this. That's a tricky situation with your boyfriend and the dogs. Hmmm. Does your boyfriend understand the way that TMS works, does he realise that this situation is probably contributing to your physical pain ? Sometimes you've got to make some hard decisions in life. Perhaps you need to try to put the pain aside for a second and think, what do you want more - The boyfriend or the dogs ? hope I don't sound insensitive by putting it like this. Sometimes life is like that. Just because I have this syndrome I cannot escape from the fact that life is about the choices I make.
p.s. I'm not surprised that you're an artist / singer. I have a 'hunch' (as you americans say) that because TMS seems to afflict the hardworking sensitive types theres probably quite a few musicians, writers and painters who have to deal with it, as these are qualities present in us artistic folk. I'm waaaay sensitive, have tackled it pretty well consciously in the last couple of years, but indside when someone is having a go at me I always feel a little tug... my unconscious getting upset. Used to get teased at school and when people find you are reacting to their teasing they often do it more. The only solution is to learn to kick ass!!! hehe
I'm trying to be aware of my feelings , and I've found that there's a few things hiding away in my heart that I'm peeved about. Good when the realisation comes.
anyhow, good luck and all the best
Andrew |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 21:55:53
Hi Alexis,
Thank God I have never had panic attacks..Several of my friends have battled with them, however..And always call me to talk them down from one..I am very anxious and upset and scared because of what I have gone through in the past with this neck stuff especially..It was debilatating for many months..I could barely function..this has happened on and off since a whiplash accident in 1995, b4 that my neck was fine..A doctor will probably just prescribe meds..Nothing that severe happened..I looked up yesterday more then i did since the last TMS attack last year..Then today I sneezed while my neck was tight from icing..My brain is using these things as an excuse to kick up all this TMS..I have sooooo much going on in my unconscious mind..I was finally able to cry on the phone tonight to my boyfriend..It caused a little temporary relief in the muscles..but it is all tight again..And I still have intermittent pain down the arms and in my foot..I have to take my friend ACL's advice and tell the little girl inside me to knock it off! I am working on it...Night time is always the worst when this happens..Thanx for your thoughts!
God bless and hugs,
Karen |
| alexis |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 20:29:19
Hi Karen, I've never wanted to address a particular medical issue here as "sounding like TMS" because I think this is something for you and a medical doctor. So this is the first time I have ever come close to saying this on this board--but I would be a bit surprised if this was anything else. The only reason I'm even saying this is you actually sound a little to me as if you might be on the verge of a panic attack. I'm not sure if I'm right here at all. If this was the case and it continued, I, personally, would make a trip to the doctor to break the panic cycle (I would be unable to eat, for instance, so this would be kind of important). But for me this would be reassurance rather than accepting the physical, which it might be for some people. Have you had panic attacks before and if so, is this different?
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| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 19:57:55
Hi Miehnesor,
I understand how you feel..That is great that you are making progress in this area..Most of the time I don't allow other's anger to get to me..But when it is a repeated thing being directed at me, I end up either getting totally depressed or reacting back w/ anger..Putting fire on the fire never works, until the other person realizes they were being unfair or irrational..Most of my anger/sadness etc..is from current life issues i am dealing w/.
I do, however, have anger toward my parents for dying 17 years ago, as odd as that sounds..They did not take care of themselves and died way too young..I feel cheated out of all these years with them..And when I get married, they won't be there..If I make it as an artist or a singer, they won't be around to enjoy it with me..etc..It's devastating..Probably more so because i don't have children of my own..not human children anyway..My 2 dogs feel like my kids and i love them dearly..The problem there is that my boyfriend is allergic to dogs, severely so..There is one more type of treatment for him to try, but all is unknown..It was so hard being away from my puppies for 4 months although i know they were in amazing hands and in their home and usual environment w/ my roomie/brother..Still my basset was peeing in the house from my being gone..So I can't win..When i am in LV i want to be in NY..and miss my boyfriend terribly..When I am in NY I want to be with my dogs in LV..So now all this turmoil has clearly ended up in my neck..My TMS' favorite place..
Hugs and God bless,
Karen |
| miehnesor |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 17:08:31
Karen- I can relate to the issue of having trouble with tolerating others anger as this has been something that i've been trying to understand for some time. What happens is that I myself get angry that my wife is angry with me. This is a very unheathy reaction and both myself and my wife have tried to understand why I have this internal reaction. What we concluded was that my inner rage towards my mom gets triggered during the encounter and it has nothing in fact to do with my wife. It's almost like my inner child is saying "What! you are angry about this tiny little issue and i've been holding back this mountain of rage (towards mom). I'll show you something to be angry about!"
Anyway i've been able to work off a lot of that rage and with it i'ved noticed that I can tolerate my wife's angry and be a lot more calm. The ability to tolerate other's anger is real important for an intimate relationship so i'm glad of my progress in this hear and now issue.
I hope for your sake that you can get back to therapy with Don because it seemed like you were making good progress with him. |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 16:09:35
Thanx Miehnesor,
That makes sense about the rage rising up to my neck from inside..It is probably a combination of what I am currently dealing with and have been and some things from childhood..I haven't had a therapy session with Don D. in awhile..I had to stop last time after 6 sessions due to financial issues..Unfortunately, those issues still remain..I am working on a commissioned painting right now and when I get paid I am thinking of doing a phone session with him..I sure need it..
Blessings,
Karen |
| miehnesor |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 15:58:33
quote:
Originally posted by Singer_Artist
Well, there is a reason for the old saying.."A Pain in the Neck.." I have been dealing with alot of stressful situations in my life of late..Some positive (like the commissioned painting of Pluto I am currently working on)..some not so positive, like absorbing someone's pain..There is someone in my life who means the world to me...This person is going through some VERY hard times and unfortunately for me, some of the frustrations and anger is being taken out on me..I was patient for a long time, but lately, my tolerance for this behavior is near zero...The minute the person raises his/her voice, my body reacts with an increase in heartrate and a tightened neck...
Karen
Karen- These are big hints as to what is going on in your unconscious that is causing your symptoms. I think you need to consider the possibility that your inner rage is getting triggered by this person and that rage is moving upward. The rage could be wrt this person or it could be unrelated and due to rage towards a source figure from your childhood. These are two areas that you can focus on in your journaling. Even better would be to talk about this with Don Dubin. Are you still working with him?
Consider the increased symptoms as an oportunity to gain on your TMS. |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 09:55:48
Thanx ACL,
Makes sense..I don't know what is going on..I feel worse then i have in a long time..It's almost a whole body thing..Heart is skipping beats, neck, shoulders, top of my leg, it's ridiculous..I have no choice but to go lay down now..I cannot even paint..I will try to journal later when I wake up..Please keep me in prayer..
Sooo appreciate your support and the support of the other wonderful people on here!
Hugs,
Karen |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 08:57:59
Happy Vday to you too, Karen!
Journaling is not supposed to help you find a solution, it's just a release valve to let out how much it sucks that there is no solution right now. You can let out your own pain and the pain you keep for others. If no solving, no coherence, no whatever comes out, well, that's not the point. It probably won't -- solutions usually involve thinking and logic, and journaling is all about feelings, not rational inquiry.
--
Wherever you go, there you are. |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 08:47:56
HI again ACL,
I think one of my concerns with journalling is that I will arrive to the same conclusion that I have arrived to already..I am in a couple of catch 22 situations right now..My fear is that I won't find a solution to something that has no real solution, for now..I am talking specifically about my b/f's allergy to my 2 dogs and my trying to live a double life in both places..This inner conflict is so deep and on top of it all the other stress I mentioned in the first post here.. I also put on weight so things that don't hurt normally or regularly are hurting now..It appears that my bed is too firm even and a spot on the top of my left leg, just below the hip is hurting..That has hurt b4 from time to time, but never lasts..IT is very bad now..I hope it is TMS, but it could be the extra weight as well..TOday is a great day to start my healthy eating plan once again and finally lose all the weight..Just be Me again..I lost myself in all the stress surrounding me..I am an empath and tend to soak up the pain of those I love, on top of whatever inner pain I am dealing with..I know you know what i mean..
Happy V. Day my friend!
Karen |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 08:36:06
Thanx so much ACL...I know you are right!
Hugs,
K |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 00:08:24
Karen, sorry to hear you're having a setback. A few things jumped out at me from your post:
quote:
The only way i can think of is journalling and i haven't been doing that either..Depression has set in and only gets worse when I feel uncertain about my future and when i am dealing w/ all this physical pain
I'd say get on with journalling then! Write about your uncertainty about your future, if you need something to start with. I sense you're holding back because you're concerned that either nothing of worth will come out, or too much will come out. As for the first, your journalling does not have to make sense or go anywhere or be coherent, just get at it. As for the second, it might be a lot, but you can handle it. And you can stop if you need to.
quote:
How could i have done something so bad from looking up?? Mind you, I haven't looked up that far in awhile..but i didn't feel any pain when i did it and i didn't think i was forcing it at all..
Remember, not getting pain at the time means VERY unlikely there is any actual injury, VERY likely TMS. Pain that doesn't make sense is TMS! You cannot have hurt your neck this way! It is not that delicate. So don't worry about that. It just gets you sucked into the cycle again.
--
Wherever you go, there you are. |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 02/13/2007 : 22:38:38
Thanx tt and ss,
Appreciate your thoughts very much and support..I am particularly bad tonight..I haven't this bad for quite some time..I am hoping that trying to look up more then I have in a long time didn't do something...I know I shouldn't be thinking that way in the first place...It is so weird, even though I fought this battle and nearly won at different points,,,here i am again! It is frustrating, I feel like i should know better..But I suppose the more i resist it and the more upset i get, the more i tighten up the muscles..Many of the things I am dealing with are catch 22's in my life...no real answer which doesn't involve pain...All I can do is pray to God this doesn't get any worse and i can climb out of the pit quickly..Why it insists on going mostly to the right side of my neck and the back of my skull i don't know..That part never got completely better from a year or more ago...But I had good range of motion most ways except looking up...I could live w/ it the way it was...This i cannot live with, however..
I want to deal w/ the emotions..The only way i can think of is journalling and i haven't been doing that either..Depression has set in and only gets worse when I feel uncertain about my future and when i am dealing w/ all this physical pain..I even have pain in my foot and going down the right arm..It's scary stuff..How could i have done something so bad from looking up?? Mind you, I haven't looked up that far in awhile..but i didn't feel any pain when i did it and i didn't think i was forcing it at all..This is horrible..
And i have got to finish that painting..I don't get paid til I do..
Thanx for listening,
Karen |
| sonora sky |
Posted - 02/13/2007 : 21:30:17
Hi-- I feel confident saying that your trip to the gym did not physically hurt or injure your neck. I can relate to your suspicion, though. From my own experience, I have found that excercise (I suppose depending on one's frame of mind) can aggrivate TMS symptoms. I'm just getting relief this week after a 2+ week-long bout of intense TMS pain/tightness/stiffness in my neck and shoulders. Throughout the episode, I kept pushing myself to go to the gym (I felt a great need to expend energy--probably a lot of built up anger due to the persistent pain), and I would always come back feeling worse. The symptoms, for some reason, consistantly increased throughout the workout. I couldn't figure that out! But I think I've come to the realization that my particular approach to dealing with TMS during this episode was counterproductive. Most of the time, though I tried to draw my attention towards emotional issues, I obsessed about the pain itself: how it felt, if it was getting worse, when/if it might get better, if there was any way to get temporary relief, etc. All this drama I was creating really fed the gremlin. I realized I was trying to battle the pain itself. I've found that both my approach (forcefully battling, struggling) and where I directed my energy (to the pain itself) were not working. I finally got to a point of extreme exhaustion, which thankfully led to a moment of clarity. I stopped pushing myself and gave myself a break from the war inside. I began to feel better overall, and soon the pain decreased on its own.
Keep plugging along, and be as compassionate with yourself as you can.  I know that's a tall order for most TMSers...
best,
ss |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 02/13/2007 : 21:07:08
Classic TMS Karen. Your emotional issues are overwhelming you so your mind is giving you psychosomatic physical pain as a distraction. It's protecting you from the emotional stuff which your unconscious views as more threatening and more painful. Embrace the pain, it is your friend...at the moment.
Good Luck,
tt |
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