| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| seven |
Posted - 01/21/2007 : 15:13:09
Has anyone found a good way of expressing anger from daily events instead of repressing them?
For example, my wife offends me and I get red hot angry. She hollers "you never put your tool up in the garage." I holler back "I am not through working on the car." I am angry now and resentful for her trying to boss me around.
If I just keep my mouth shut or say "yes dear" I feel like I would be suppressing the anger. If I express my anger and tell her what I am thinking, it esculates.
What is the "proper" way to deal with this anger without suppressing it?
Thanks,
Jimmy |
| 3 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| carbar |
Posted - 01/22/2007 : 20:43:37
Oh, yes, Sonora Sky, I've read Thich Naht Hanh's Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames. This is based in Budhism, but I found it accessible and applicable to my own life. I also notice it's very centered on dealing with loving partnership relationships, rather than more generic relationships. He uses lots of examples about husbands and wives...
Um. I do notice that even if you don't SAY it in an angry way, it's really good to verbalize emotions. It helps take the resentment away. If you say, "I felt angry when you said that..." after the fact, it still stirs that emotion up and really validates it. Easier said than done, for sure, but worth it.
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| sonora sky |
Posted - 01/21/2007 : 18:18:24
There's a book on anger that some forum members have found helpful: Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately by John Lee. Or, if you'd be interested in a more Buddhist/Zen approach, Thich Nhat Hanh's Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames might appeal to you. Eckhart Tolle's teachings about the ego might also give you some new insights on anger. It just depends on what approach works for you.
Good luck,
ss |
| Minda |
Posted - 01/21/2007 : 16:49:44
I think journaling is a good way to express your feelngs without getting everybody mad at you, just as long as they don't find it and read it. I have gotten pretty agressive while writing and it really does seem to help. Good Luck. |
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