| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| vrampen78 |
Posted - 12/14/2006 : 14:03:12
Hello all! My name is Veronica. I am from Glendale, CA, 28 yo, and a stressed out newbie accountant. I've been lurking around the board for awhile now reading all of your posts...the majority of the time ur posts help confirm TMS and my belief is strengthened, but sometimes I become completely obsessed with a timeline, symptoms and relapses.
I started out with low back back and sciatic nerve pain around June/July 2006 and for a couple months was completely terrified and depressed by the pain. It initially started out as a knot in my back and I ignored it for a while and when it would let up I started to do my own research online and that is where things went completely downhill. I read about discs, degenerative disease, arthritis of the spine etc. and I became completely obsessed about this research and stories of other people's experiences and as I read more and more the pain got worse then the sciatic nerve pain started and I began to limit myself physically and the depression/sadness became more of a problem (etc., etc., and around the cycle went). Meanwhile I visited my dr. and went to other dr.'s and they all said it was a back strain sent me home with NSAID's and were completely certain that I would make a complete recovery. I wasn't improving...
Come September I was on Amazon.com and stumbled across Sarno's HBP I started reading that Friday night and the next morning and by lunch time I was out and about with a friend! Not completely 100%, but who cares I finally wasn't afraid to move and nothing was getting worse. I fought against little sharp pains and minute cyles of dull pains my subconscious was trying to scare me with and I had a great time out with my friend...
Since then I've improved sooooo much! Some days I feel like I've taken two steps foward and other I feel like I've taken a step back and I get scared because I don't want to lose what I've gained (my mind is freaking me out with the thoughts of 'veronica, you've used ur one chance don't lose it or the pain will come back...the subconscious is cruel...JUST LIKE A BULLY!). I found a couple posts where you guys said that it can take 6 months to 1 year and that has relieved me...I thought I was a loser for not 'making it happen' in 6-weeks. I bought Scott Brady's book about a month and a half ago...to help comfirm more. I really like this book...he has it written out step by step so it makes it more to the point for me. I really needed to learn how to journal and I finally admitted I'm a mix of the 3 of the 5/6 personalities he writes about...I'm a perfectionist/people-pleaser/fear prone personality...sheesh! The pains are not completely gone, but it's because I haven't completely tamed the gremlin (is that what u guys call it?) and I know it. I'm still fearful and anxious and I'm aware of that, but I don't think I'm ready right now to let it all out...I'm working up to it...I only started journaling daily on Monday...I was doing it sporadically b4 that.
Well, I hope to get to know u guys and thx for all of ur helpful posts...I feel like I already know u guys. Sorry for the loooooooooooooooooooooooong winded post...I didn't know where to begin and now I can't stop.
-Veronica |
| 3 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| HilaryN |
Posted - 12/18/2006 : 16:16:29
Welcome, Veronica. It's nice to read your introduction.
It sounds like you've made a really good start. No, don't worry if you're not immediately cured. The books give the impression you should be cured really quickly, but it can take a bit longer. The important thing is, you're on the way.
Hilary N |
| vrampen78 |
Posted - 12/17/2006 : 23:33:54
LB,
Thanx for the welcome. This forum has been a great source of relief and knowledge for me. I hope that I can offer helpful advice and support to others. I know exactly what you mean about focusing on the psychological rather than the physical...you know even though those of us on this board went through pain to get to the focus on the psychological it really is a positive in a weird sort of way. From what I've ready and from what I am starting to experience in small steps, the journaling and getting in touch with the emotions does help change your life. The anxieties and fears are symptoms that can be diminished/eliminated and leave us with positive changes in our lives. 
-Veronica |
| Littlebird |
Posted - 12/14/2006 : 14:33:40
Welcome Veronica, sounds like you're off to a great start. The forum has been so encouraging to me and helped me keep focused on the psychological aspects of my life rather than the physical pain. I'm sure you'll be a good source of encouragement for others, in addition to finding points that help you along in your healing process.
Corey |
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